


Big big scratch and tight pants, hm you know...

by Eganne, Giuliettaskeletta



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Apocalypse, Best Friends, Big big scratch, Dark!Marco, Eyepatch, Friends to Lovers, Kids, Love Confessions, M/M, Makeouts, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Minor Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), Original Characters - Freeform, Physical Torture, Post-Apocalypse, Roleplay, Scars, Sex, Tight Pants, Torture, Trauma, Treason, Zombie Apocalypse, walls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2018-09-11 12:02:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 154,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8978911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eganne/pseuds/Eganne, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giuliettaskeletta/pseuds/Giuliettaskeletta
Summary: Actually a roleplay so read it like :-POV Jean-POV Marco-POV Jean-etc.Apocalypse AU where Marco is the leader of the cruelest group and Jean is a honest guy. People like Marco make Jean sick. However they used to be best friends before the arrival of the zombies, and had a secret crush on each other... one day they meet again.





	1. They meet again

 

Jean growled. Everything went so good for him. One wrong step and everything went down. At least he had the chance to punch some of the bastards who fought his group. And now, there he was. Captured and beaten on the way to the leader of that damn group who wants to kill humans instead of zombies.

 

Marco didn't have the choice. When the apocalypse fell on earth, everything went down for everyone. And for him the only way to survive was to become the strongest.  
To attain his goal, Marco gathered the strongest guys walking outside and let the weakest get killed by the zombies. No one would care now anyway. Today was great. He heard his 'subordinates' - he was called Boss - captured a very strong man today. 'Jean' if he recalled correctly.

 

Jean hated groups who let other survivors get killed by zombies. Stealing supplies was one thing but murdering people? Jean hated such guts. Not that Jean has been that bonded to his group anyways. But it has been great to have a group again. When that whole apocalypse thing had begun, Jean was with his friends, including his best friend. But none of them was there anymore. And now Jean was alone and whyever had to meet the boss of that group he hated so much.

 

After giving orders of the day's missions to his group, Marco had just the time to discover the new head in his lads. In what he used -he swore he would have prefer somewhere else more spacious- as headquarters, Marco went down to the underground cell where 'Jean' was kept.

 

Jean had to say, that group was large. And powerful. They had a very large base. Jean's group had consisted of 6 members and little tents. And now he sat somewhere in the underground. Great. Jean had searched for a way to escape but there was none. Jean growled as he heard footsteps coming closer.

 

Marco went alone. New heads needed to be seen individually. And Marco couldn't hide well his excitement to see the new strongest guy they enrolled, so being alone was better. He reached the small and very poor cell. Marco made the door opened by his guard and entered. In a corner a thin guy was standing with a murderous look in his uuhm brown eyes Marco guessed.

 

Jean still didn't know why he has been kept. Alive. His entire group was dead by now for sure. Jean furrowed his eyebrows. Why did everyone die around him? First all his friends, then his best friend (who he secretly has had feelings for) and every group Jean had been with. Why was he still alive? Jean could see a person walk to his cell. The person got in the cell. If Jean wasn't tied up he would have beaten up that guy. He came closer and Jean's eyes widened. It couldn't be possible.

 

Marco walked closer and guessed strangely bicolored hair. Marco had lost his right eye the first time he fought zombies so he couldn't see very well. It was when the apocalypse just fell down. Marco has been a sensitive and shy guy, he had lots of friends and one best friend he actually had a crush on. Marco would never admit it nowadays. With the trauma of the apocalypse he sadly forgot about his last crush name. And this one surely was dead by now anyway. Marco only recalled that he was strong. The strongest person Marco knew at that time. Because now the strongest, it was Marco. He walked closer and smirked. For sure that 'Jean' knew how to glare.

 

His eyes widened for sure. Jean would always recognize those freckles. Jean was too surprised to say anything. When Marco came closer Jean gulped. "You survived", he murmured looking down. How was that possible?

 

Marco heard him saying strange things. "What ?" he asked far from understanding what the guy meant.

 

Jean looked up again. Marco sounded so different, he acted different and looked different. And Marco seemed he didn't understand a thing Jean said. Didn't he remember Jean? "I can't believe you survived", Jean said a bit louder now. He was relieved and stunned that Marco was alive. But what was a kind guy like him doing here?

 

Marco processed what Jean said this time. But he still didn't understand what it meant. "Please explain yourself better because I'm still not there" he ordered. Marco wasn't the patient guy he was before anymore.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows again. He looked down. Marco didn't recognize him. They had always been together since they were born. How was that possible? "Do you really not remember me?", Jean asked looking up again. That sure hurt more than Jean's still bleeding nose.

 

Marco shook his head. What was wrong with that guy ? "Put that on you" Marco ordered throwing fresh clothes at the new guy. "And follow me" he said walking out waiting for him to change clothes. Tch. He sure took his fucking time. "Your name's Jean ? Real name or ..?" Marco asked being impatient.

 

Jean's jaw fell open as Marco threw fresh clothes at him and left the cell. He looked down again and didn't move a muscle. His best friend, his crush, didn't remember him? Jean gulped. He would have cried if he was alone but he knew that Marco kind of waited for him to come with him. Jean stood up and put on the clothes. Jean clenched his teeth. Marco did forget his name too? "Stripper name", Jean answered. "Of course it's my real name", he said as he finished dressing.

 

Marco snickered. Then nodded as Jean walked out of the cell. He felt like he had to introduce himself too. "I'm Marco. But if you ask for me the others would name me 'Boss'. With that clear, I'll show you the quarters".

 

Jean clenched his teeth again. 'I know who you are' he thought. Jean raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms as Marco insisted to call him boss. "Why should I call you that and why should I come with you to your fucking quarters?? Your guys killed my men!", Jean said growling now. He didn't want to fight against Marco. He couldn't. But he couldn't just take it all without fighting back, he still was Jean.

 

"Sorry" Marco said. He was sincere. But the weakers couldn't be protected. At least that was what Marco came up with after observing the starters of apocalypse. He had lost all the ones he once loved. Like everyone in his quarters now.

 

"You're sorry? Sorry?? Do you do that every time? Sending the strong guys to let the weak ones die and maybe if some of them are strong you just get them so they can fight for you? Is that it??", Jean asked. He stopped walking. No way he would become part of that group. Even though Marco was here and alive, he would never ever stay here. If only he could convince Marco to come with him. But first he had to help Marco remembering him.

 

"That's partly it" Marco said glaring at that Jean. "I see that you got a problem with my way of dealing with the present events" he added. His voice grew suddenly menacing.

 

Jean backed up. How could Marco glare like that? Jean was infamous for his glares, but Marco? And that menacing voice... What happened to his best friend? Jean clenched his fist. "Hell yes I got a problem with your shitty way of dealing with the events", Jean said growling again.

 

Marco glared again and broke a mad laugh. This guy was good. "You think you can fight zombies with love and pastries ? Sorry but I'm doing all I can and sorry for my ways to be shitty or what ?! I don't even recall my best friend's name now thank to those fucking zombies outside and this fucking apocalypse ! Here we're fighting for freedom at least if anybody get out of this amazing shit in the end" Marco exploded. And the walls were trembling because of his voice.

 

Jean's eyes widened again by Marco's mad laugh. Marco was nearly yelling now. When he finished Jean looked directly in his eye. "I am your best friend, Marco! Jean!", he said. "And I know I can't fight against zombies with love or any shit like that but what you're doing is just- just wrong. Free me. I won't work for you", Jean said proudly. He never would work for anyone. He was way too strong for that.

 

"Don't mess with me. He wasn't a weak one like you. And I won't do you the pleasure to free you" Marco said looking down on Jean.

 

Jean grabbed Marco by his collar. "What did you just call me?", Jean growled. Jean hated to get called weak because he knew he wasn't. Both physically and mentally. Jean clenched his teeth again as Marco stated Jean wouldn't be freed.

 

Marco glared more as Jean grabbed him. How did he dare do this ? But looking into Jean's purely mad eyes, something tightened in Marco. And it hurt. Badly. Marco remembered his best friend wearing the same look when a bully had been messing with Marco and his best friend defended him. Marco got a shock. For the first time in what seemed to be so long he remembered the shape of his best friend face. A beautiful shape.  
Marco came back to reality with Jean growling. By the strength he put in his grip Marco could tell he was strong. Very strong. "Then prove me you aren't weak by the next mission. If you survive then you may ask for my apologies" Marco dared him dead serious.

 

After some time Jean let go of Marco. He didn't want to have any annoying guards or whatever on his head. Jean raised an eyebrow. "Huh??", he blurted out as Marco stated Jean could prove his strength during the next mission. "And what if I don't want to be part of it?"

 

"We'll take you in as a bait" Marco replied still serious. He wasn't really using such methods but this Jean needed to be frightened up a little.

 

"Excuse me?" Jean said still glaring at his old best friend. Marco couldn't be serious here! Jean clenched a fist, his eyes full of resistance.

 

Marco sighed and turned to walk again through the quarters. Didn't mind that Jean. If he wasn't following, guards would threw him in his cell again.

 

Jean stood exactly where he was. He wouldn't follow Marco. He would try again later. Guards were coming towards him. After Jean had beaten one up, three of them grabbed him. And so Jean was in the cell again. In anger Jean punched the wall - something he immediately regret because the wall was hard as stone. Jean sank to the ground now he finally was alone. Why did Marco act like that? Why didn't he remember Jean? They have been spending times together for years!

 

Marco heard bones cracking under fists and Jean growling like a mad dog. Marco smiled.  
Back up in his own quarters, Marco arranged his things and prepared tomorrow's missions with today's statement. He lost four men today... Every night Marco was haunted by the one he lost. His men but the more frequent it was his family and last friends that haunted his dreams. But as Marco woke up this night it wasn't because of the image of his mother being murdered by zombies but because of Jean's words. 'I am your best friend !' he said. Marco couldn't believe it. He saw this zombie running after him as the one he loved disappeared in the distance. Marco was shedding tears at that time. He couldn't recall all the details. Still confused by his dream, Marco sat up and sighed. He couldn't fall asleep again anyway so he stood up and decided to pay a late (or early ?) visit to this Jean.

 

Jean just sat there lost in his thoughts. His fist slightly bleeding he thought about Marco. How could he have changed like that? It definitely was Marco there was no denying. Those freckles... Jean would recognize them anytime. At some point Jean got tired. It has been a stressful day and he needed sleep. Jean wanted to flee tomorrow. But something, no, someone was holding him back. Marco. With his face in mind Jean fell asleep.

 

Marco nodded to the guard as he stopped at Jean's cell's door. With the door unlocked, Marco entered. Jean was snoring and Marco tried not to laugh. He walked silently and sat against the wall, close to Jean's head. As Jean stayed asleep Marco took time to analyze every part of his body. With that Marco unexpectedly fell asleep sitting close to Jean.

 

After some time Jean woke up. He stretched slowly and noticed that someone was in the room as well. Jean nearly jumped in surprise as he saw Marco's sleeping face right before his eyes. Sleeping like this Marco looked like Marco. Peacefully, kind. Jean blushed a bit. Marco still had a beautiful face. But it seemed like the Marco Jean knew was gone. Jean sighed silently and noticed that the cell door was unlocked. Jean sat up as quietly as possible.

 

Marco grabbed a hand strongly. Then opened his eyes. He could go mad having such reflexes... But in front of him was Jean standing and in direction of the open door. "Fuck" Marco swore rubbing his eyes with one hand and pulling Jean on his sit with the other hand. Marco wasn't in a good mood being woken up like that. He pinned down Jean and informed him "Try to sneak out and I'll be the one chasing after you". His voice was terribly menacing again.

 

Jean nearly jumped again as his hand got grabbed. What super senses had Marco? Jean got pinned down. He growled. "Then don't be so stupid and fall asleep in here! Why the fuck are you even here??", Jean blurted out. When did he talk to Marco like that? He never had.

 

Jean sure hit the nail. Marco didn't know what he was doing here. He missed the peaceful days he had before the apocalypse. He missed his best friend. He missed his home. For a time shorter than a second Marco wore a pretty sad and broken expression on his face. He grumbled then let go of Jean and stormed out of the room telling the guard to close the door. Marco almost ran back to his quarters. He had sealed his heart for as long as zombies walked on earth so why now of all time did his emotions show up again ? He felt so broken inside. It was pitiful and Marco hated that now.

 

Did Jean just imagine it or had Marco a sad expression on his face for a second? Well, Jean couldn't think of it because Marco stormed off. Jean grumbled and leaned back again. If he really had to go on a 'mission' tomorrow he had to sleep again. So after a long time he fell asleep again, dreaming of Marco's peaceful face.

 

Marco couldn't sleep more and prayed whatever god for his men to be safe today against the zombies. As morning came, he reassembled the selected men of the day and started to give orders for the missions. Looking up from his notebooks, Marco saw Jean in the lines. He was glaring. 'Full of life' Marco thought smirking.


	2. Marco remembers

 

 

  
Jean got up early in the morning. He got waken up by one of the guards. And there he stood, in line with certain other men. Jean noticed Marco and glared at him for a second. Why were they going outside anyway. Jean wouldn't die today. Not when he just found Marco.

 

Today they'd be going in south quarters of a desert town. It was the end of the 'extermination' in this town but today's streets were the most dangerous. Marco had selected his men carefully for this mission. As everyone got ready, Marco prepared himself and went to Jean. "'Morning. What do you intend to do today ? Will I need to take you there as a bait or will you fight obediently ?" Marco asked trying not to be too harsh.

 

Jean looked over and watched the other men. Not everyone seemed prepared enough. Jean sighed. He knew something bad would happen. He looked up as Marco spoke to him. Jean clenched a fist. "This time I will fight. But not for you or you stupid missions", Jean replied.

 

Marco smirked. Good, Jean will fight. With that, Marco ordered the departure of his men. Marco was joining. He never let his guys fight alone when he had the opportunity.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows as he saw Marco joining the group. If Marco was the leader, why did he get himself in danger? Jean couldn't think about it. Once again he had to fight zombies.

 

Marco was fucking lacking sleep. And he hoped it wouldn't ruin his day. They arrived and yeah the streets were infested with zombies crawling from everywhere. It was hard. So hard to fight with his head dizzy. But they eventually managed to end the fight with no loss.

 

How could it be that there were so much zombies at one place? Jean never saw something like that. They started fighting and it was easy for Jean. The fight took its time and at some point Jean knew bad things happened. A first man started yelling, a second one too. A third one had his leg hurt and couldn't walk. Jean sighed. First he saved one man, then the second. Since there weren't much zombies left Jean picked up the guy who couldn't walk. That guy sure was heavy. Piggy back style he walked back to the group. Marco explained they succeeded the mission without a loss. 'Yeah because I saved all your idiots', Jean thought. Why was Marco doing those missions anyways?

 

Marco walked back exhausted. Finally this town will be considered safe now. He already started the construction of barriers around it and placed a few men to guarantee its safety. So now people could take shelter from zombies in this deserted town.

 

The guy Jean had carried got to the infirmary place of that base. Jean wiped blood away from his face and sat down for a moment to take a break. Why did he even save those men? With that wounded guy Jean could have been eaten easily because he had to slow down. But well, maybe Jean couldn't just let somebody die like Marco did.

 

After eating dinner in the canteen, Marco took a shower and went to sleep. It was already pretty late. Like almost every night, Marco woke up because of his nightmares. He grumbled silently first then decided to go down to Jean's cell again. Only God knew why but yesterday Marco slept well in Jean's small cell. He asked the guard to open the door and close it behind this time.

 

At least Jean got something to eat. Right after, he got thrown back in his cell. He helped those people and still was treated like scum. Jean grumbled and laid himself onto the thing poorly called bed. It didn't took him long to fall asleep. He lost counting how many zombies he had killed so he was pretty exhausted.

 

Marco surprised himself smiling tenderly at the sight of his new head sleeping. What was wrong with Marco ? Since yesterday this guy was making Marco feel strange. Like a... sense of familiarity, and maybe a little bit more than that. During the apocalypse young Marco had such a shock he nearly forgot everything from before. Now he sat at the same spot than yesterday night and quickly fell asleep again. He should feel in danger being locked with such a mad dog like Jean but he didn't. He felt like... at home.

  
At some point Jean woke up again. That 'bed' wasn't comfy no wonder he always woke up. And again he nearly jumped in surprise because again Marco was sleeping in his cell. Jean looked to the door - which was locked this time. He then looked back at Marco. Why was he here again? Jean sighed and watched Marco sleeping. It was calming to see him sleeping peacefully. Jean wanted to caress his hair. But he knew Marco had mad reflexes. So he just closed his eyes again to fall asleep. He knew Marco didn't want to let him know he slept here so Jean would act like he had slept the whole time.

 

Marco woke up before the guards woke the locked men. Why did he sleep so peacefully next to this guy, he absolutely had no clue. During breakfast, Marco went for Jean between the other guys and took him apart. Where nobody could hear them Marco apologized as promised the day before. "I was wrong and I apologize, you're not weak. And you're even quite strong" Marco said keeping a distance. As if he would flatter the guy, pff.

 

When Jean got woke up, Marco was already gone again. Jean made his way to breakfast. They had surprisingly much supplies. But well with eliminating other groups that was not a surprise. Surprising was when Marco took him to a corner so they were alone. Jean crossed his arms. He raised his eyebrows as Marco apologized. Jean grabbed Marco by his collar again. "I shouldn't have to prove it that way you dumbass. But yeah you can be lucky I'm strong I even saved your men even though you killed mine", Jean confessed. He let go of Marco and walked back to his breakfast. Jean didn't want to stay here. He would try to flee tonight.

 

Jean walked back to the table and Marco stayed in shock. "You saved-...?" he whispered but Jean was already too far to hear him. So yesterday success was only thanks to Jean. Marco had it hard to accept it. But things ended well so why acting proud or pitiful ? The same routine came by like each day, fighting zombies, sometimes losing men, coming back. This night Marco didn't go down to Jean's cell. He was feeling stupid acting like a puppy towards Jean but his head had been fill with thoughts of Jean almost all day and he was sleeping so well in his presence and it was very irritating for the new Marco.

 

The rest of the day Jean planned his run. He wouldn't stay here. Knowing that Marco wasn't remembering him he would go alone. It was risky, especially because he would have to survive alone. But he preferred that than staying here one more night in that ugly cell. He even had helped Marco and was kept like a prisoner. In the night Jean stood up. This night he'd be free.

 

But that night, Marco woke up because of the worst nightmare he ever had. He was still young but strong and fighting zombies with his best friend by his side. They were desperate but together. And a zombie started to attack his best friend. He was hurt and Marco knew if he went to help him he'd get himself killed. And Marco was scared. So scared to die. He didn't do anything and his love died before his eyes. In his dream, as Marco busted into tears, Jean stood there repeating to Marco, "How could you let me die ? You dumbass, you had all the time to save me. You're just a shitty coward". Marco jumped in his bed covered in sweat and panting. Now he remembered. His best friend Jean. Jean who was Jean. This was why Marco could sleep so easily next to him. He stood up in a rush and ran to the underground cells. He almost fell every ten steps and water was stuck in his eyes. Marco knocked the door strongly hoping Jean would wake up. This was why Jean asked if Marco did remember him...

 

Now Jean really jumped in surprise. He turned around glaring. Fuck, did somebody notice that he wanted to flee and informed their leader? Jean's expression suddenly changed. He walked closer to the cell door. Marco looked like he could start crying any second. "What's wrong? Realizing how shitty your methods are?", Jean said crossing his arms.

 

Marco glared. He really wanted to slap him for his comment but he wasn't wrong. Not one bit. But shit, Jean was safe. And stronger than ever. Marco's expression softened and he sat on the floor. "Kick me if you want, do whatever you want, I just wanted to say... I remembered" he said. And looking away because now fucking tears were rolling on his cheeks he whispered "I missed you...so much". He felt his heart tightening to the point of hurting.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows as Marco sat down. What was Marco up to? Jean's eyes widened. Marco remembered? He remembered Jean? Jean sank to the ground as well. Marco was crying, saying he had missed Jean. Jean gulped and held back his tears. He slid a hand through the cell door and patted Marco's head like he always did when Marco was crying. "I- I can't believe you finally remember me", he said his voice shaking.

 

Marco cried more as Jean patted his head. He was used to do that every time Marco cried... "I had a... fucking horrible nightmare... You were being murdered and I didn't have the guts to save you. I'm- a hopeless bastard. I let you die, I... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... I'm sorry" Marco repeated these last words for a long time.

 

"I didn't die, Marco! I'm still here! Yes I got hurt but I managed to survive even though I lost you in the heat of action. You're not a coward or anything you just did what everyone would do", Jean spoke up pulling his hand back. "I can't believe you managed to build all this up... I guess you had no choice but fight and become the strongest group."

 

Marco cried some more. It had been so long. Only next to Jean he could act like that. What Jean said cheered him up the slightest. He still missed Jean all this time they went separate ways.

 

Marco still was kinda the same. Okay, he was more cruel and less shy but who wasn't at a time like this. But seeing Marco crying... It was like always. "Hey you don't have to cry, everything's fine", Jean said once again reaching through the cell door so he could pat Marco's shoulder. Jean sighed. Dammit, he still wanted to flee but now Marco remembered him... What should he do?

 

Marco slowly calmed down. Good thing the guard was far for now. He didn't want anyone except Jean to see him in this poor state.

 

Jean decided he would stay a bit longer. He couldn't just leave like now, Marco seemed extremely relieved to see Jean alive. Jean was too. "You should go to sleep again. You shouldn't let yourself be seen like that, you're still a leader", Jean said backing up again.

 

"O-Ok" Marco said nodding and wiped away the last tears falling on his freckled cheeks. He then said "Uhm, wait a second, I'll take you out of there. We've got better beds on the first floor". It was a poor excuse. Marco just wanted to keep Jean by his side.

 

Jean sighed in relief as he heard he could get a better bed and had not to stay in this poor cell. Wait, he didn't even want to stay here. "No it's fine. Originally your men captured me, so I'll stay here. You should give the guy who's wounded at his leg the better bed", Jean remembered. One last night in the cell would be okay. He walked back to the thing called bed and sat on it.

 

"But-" Marco protested confused as Jean sat on his small bed. He didn't know why Jean refused. All Marco wanted was for Jean to come in Marco's bed actually but well this was nearly impossible.

 

Jean leaned down and turned his face to the wall. "I guess I see you tomorrow", Jean said. With that he tried to sleep. Marco remembered him. Marco finally knew again who he was. But still... Jean couldn't stay here. All that the large group did was just wrong. Jean thought of his old group. All of them were dead because of Marco. Jean clenched a fist. Why did everything has become so complicated!

 

"Good night" Marco replied silently. Poor Marco returned to his own room and tried to sleep. In fact he cried himself to sleep. Jean was certainly hating what Marco had become now. He knew he was letting innocents die under the zombies' hands, but what could he do ?  
He woke up in the morning, tired and with red eyes.

 

"Good night Marco", Jean simply replied. After some time he managed to fall asleep. In the morning he woke up on his own. But he didn't want to stand up. He was extremely tired because of so much thinking yesterday. A guard came into his cell to push him out to breakfast but Jean stayed where he was. At some point they fought and a second guard came. They were huge so they managed to beat Jean down. Finally, with a black eye, a bleeding nose and lip Jean got carried to breakfast. Yeah. He would definitely flee tonight, with or without Marco.

 

Marco who was tired as fuck walked down to breakfast. He got a shock as he saw Jean, his face all beaten up. Marco really wanted to crawl to him and ask what happened but he couldn't, everyone was here... They went for today's fight. Marco couldn't focus, he was constantly glancing at Jean. It might have an impact on today's success. And Jean was fighting so mad, he seemed so furious.

 

Jean got selected again for another stupid mission. Why him? But Jean wouldn't die today either. Outside he fought like always; wild and furious, but it worked. Jean saved many lives today again. His face and body were still hurting from this morning but that didn't hold him back from fighting.

 

Glancing at Jean every minutes this time Marco didn't missed when Jean saved many of his men. Marco felt like shit. Jean was so much stronger than him... He always had. And Jean seemed to be in pain today as he fought. Marco looked after him carefully from a distance. They came back safely more or less. Many needed to visit the infirmary. Now that he found Jean again, Marco hoped all this apocalypse and zombies thing would stop.

 

Jean helped as many as he could; but he never let Marco get out of his sight. Just in case Jean wanted to be prepared if he had to help him. Luckily he didn't have to. All alive but most of them hurt made it back to the large base. Jean wanted to speak a last time with Marco because he would flee this night but Marco was busy. Jean let himself be thrown in his cell again. The guards seemed like they didn't like him much since Jean broke a few bones of them earlier.

 

Marco wished to spend the evening with Jean but something went wrong in a smaller mission today and suddenly everything got busier. He did his best and hurried but only finished five minutes before the 'curfew'. Marco ran down to Jean's cell. He hoped he could still spend two minutes with him. Marco made the door of Jean's cell open and entered. Jean was there, calm. As Marco was panting and sweating slightly. Marco told the guard to let them be.

 

Jean wanted to rest. His body was still aching and he needed to be fit for tonight. So he laid down onto the small bed. Before he could fall asleep Marco entered the cell. Jean sat up again. "What is it?", he asked looking up at Marco.

 

Marco didn't know what to say. It has been so long since that happened last. "Just wanted to see you" Marco said straight and confused. So Marco worked hard to be stronger, was at the head of the biggest attack group but couldn't think straight when in the same room as Jean ?

 

Jean looked away. Why was Marco saying something like that. It made it harder for Jean to leave everything behind. But he had to. "How... exactly did you manage to built all this up after we got separated?", Jean asked scratching his neck. Just that move was aching.

 

Marco furrowed his eyebrows worried as Jean's face slightly show off pain. He approached slowly and sat next to him. He first asked looking at Jean's injuries from closer "Does it hurt bad ?".

 

Jean looked away. "Don't worry it's fine", Jean said. He didn't want Marco to worry about Jean. Marco had to worry about his men.

 

Marco didn't listen to Jean and started to examine his injuries closely. He wanted to be sure nothing was really serious. As he did so, Marco started to explain. "I couldn't fight alone. I wasn't strong enough back then, I barely had my head to think in this huge mess" he glanced a second at Jean and continued "And so I needed the strongests by my side. I just remembered at that time I had actually thought that by doing this I'd find you one way or another. But as I trained and became stronger my only goal was to exterminate the zombies outside and though nobody would say it, all my men know the real goal is to insure safe places on earth for the future survivors. If there'll be some. I should say, nowadays I'm not as confident as before about winning this long war".

 

Jean wanted to protest as Marco started examining his injuries. But he knew Marco wouldn't stop. Jean grumbled a bit. He listened to what Marco said. He nodded after Marco had finished. "Well you survived until now. And that's something. I thought I'd never see you again because well you didn't seem like the guy who... Well who could survive on his own. Sorry", Jean said looking away again.

 

Marco escaped a small laugh. Sure before he was more on the weak ones side. He stayed silent a moment and Jean didn't seem decided to talk. After a while so he said "But today I... watched you, saving many of my men. First, thank you and second, I admit I didn't believe we could survive AND rescue others. I was stuck on ...helping was equal to suicide. Every night I see the faces of the ones who got killed during the day. Every night. And thanks to you today there isn't a new face. Ehm I know you don't care about my whereabouts now but yeah I just kinda wanted to tell you. I'll do my best now, more than ever and ...won't let people get killed if it's in my power".

 

Jean looked up at Marco. "There's always a way to help people, Marco. As you can see I'm pretty alive and I saved the groups I was with often", Jean explained. He thought about it. He definitely would flee this night. He looked over to Marco. Both of them sure changed, huh? "I'm sorry I have to do this I just missed you okay", Jean said as he pulled Marco into a strong hug. A hug friends would share of course. So it would be easier for him to run away.

 

Marco nodded as Jean explained that saving people wasn't that complicate.  
He looked up, what was Jean up to ?  
Fuck, Marco could cry. Jean hugged him strongly and something broke in Marco's chest. At this precise moment, Marco knew things will never be the same again. And that it'll make everything more complicated. Marco eventually hugged Jean back but he didn't have much strength in him now.

 

Jean sure could feel his body ache while hugging Marco. But that didn't hold him back to do so. Jean clenched teeth holding back tears. Once Marco has been his best friend, his everything. Marco was the one Jean had a crush on; maybe even now he still got a bit attracted to Marco. But Jean couldn't stay. He hated groups like this. After some time Jean backed off again. "I guess you have to go now. See you tomorrow", Jean said as he sat back.

 

Marco nodded again and walked off the room. He couldn't contain the few tears that escaped his eye. Shit, why was he even crying anyway ?  
Marco understood the morning after. He got waken up by guards yelling that a prisoner had escaped during the night. And obviously it had to be Jean... Marco was suddenly aching everywhere. Had he lost Jean a second time again ? No. No it wasn't possible.  
But as Marco tried to put order in his thoughts, he couldn't miss some more worrying screams. He ran to the origin of the screams. Fuuuck. Nobody needed that. So angry and frustrated, Marco broke off a chair on one of the shitty zombies that dared entered Marco's domain. He really didn't need that. Jean was alone outside somewhere. Lost. Maybe dead. Marco clenched his teeth and raging he exterminated almost all the zombies that entered all by himself.  
...till one of them cut Marco's back badly. Shit, that hurt like a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading !  
> 'Hope you liked it. Don't hesitate to comment, leave kudos or/and bookmark ❤


	3. Let's flee together

It wasn't easy for Jean to leave. It wasn't easy for him to see Marco walking away. But Jean had already made his decision. At the end of the night Jean had everything planned and made it outside. He walked for some time and it was strangely quiet and empty. Jean furrowed his eyebrows. Maybe he just got extremely lucky or something was wrong. No zombies here. Jean had a bad feeling. He would go back and watch from a distance just to be sure. Jean made his way back to Marco's base. He heard people screaming and saw that zombies made it somehow through the fences. Jean's eyes widened. Marco was somewhere inside. He could be in serious danger. Jean gulped. Fuck he had the chance of his life to get away now that there were like no zombies on his route, but his heart told him he had to help. So he ran to the base and sneaked in the way he had sneaked out the night. There was so much trouble going on, nobody noticed Jean. And Jean was just searching for his best friend. he shot some zombies before he found Marco. And Marco got hurt badly. Fuck. Jean hurried over to Marco and killed the zombie who nearly killed his best friend.

 

Marco's mind went blank because of the pain. And he eventually collapsed. Shit, this was the worst... But he couldn't move one muscle.

 

And now Marco even collapsed. Shit shit shit. Jean grabbed Marco and pulled him with him, away from the zombies. Their group was large and everything fell into chaos of course nobody would help their leader. Jean fought back zombies while pulling Marco with him. Jean let out a groan. He could feel his body slowly giving up. He quickly placed Marco somewhere safe before he stole some of the supplies and medicine. He made sure he would have a free way. He then grabbed Marco and carried him piggy back to a kind of abandoned little base - which still was part of Marco's base - and hid there. He just could lay Marco down before Jean collapsed himself. They were safe for a couple of hours. Hopefully.

 

For the same reason Marco collapsed, Marco woke up. Because of the pain. But he quickly forgot about that seeing Jean next to him. How was it even possible ?! Marco remembered. Jean, escaping, and screams, zombies intruding... Zombies ! Wasn't he fighting just before ? Then he got hurt and- and... and he couldn't get a grasp on the rest. From the situation now, Jean had saved Marco, did he ?

 

After some time Jean woke up dizzy. God it was aching everywhere. Jean slowly sat up noticing that Marco was awake as well. Jean looked away. He didn't know what to say. "You can be glad I came back", he simply said. He grabbed the stuff he stole. "Where are you hurt?", Jean asked pulling out the medicine stuff.

 

Marco's heart tightened. Fuck that's been so long since the last time he felt something in his chest. Things like emotions, a leader doesn't need feelings. It needed instinct and recently Marco was completely messing up on this point. Zombies entered his base ! "Thanks" he said frankly at Jean. So Jean really had fled during the night... Good... "My back" Marco said as he turned to show him. And just turning on himself hurt like hell. The zombie really had him.

 

"Don't move", Jean commanded and grabbed Marco's shoulder firmly so he couldn't move. Otherwise it would hurt bad. Jean started to take care of the wound on Marco's back. "You don't know how close you were to die", Jean said concerned. Of course he was concerned about his best friend. "If I hadn't come back because I had a bad feeling, you'd be dead...god no", he murmured to himself.

 

Marco tried not to yell as Jean started to treat his wound. That shit was deep. He bit in a piece of his shirt to prevent himself from making a sound. Oh.. Jean really sounded concerned about Marco. But wasn't Jean hating Marco now ? An annoying tear fell out of Marco's eye. He had to ask. "Jean, don't you hate me now ? With all the terrifying things I let happened...".

 

"Try to stay silent there could be zombies near", Jean ordered. Jean raised his eyebrows as Marco asked if Jean hated him. How did Marco come to that? "What? No! ...i don't like your way of acting but that doesn't mean I hate you. Otherwise I wouldn't have risked my life to save yours, idiot. You know that you're pretty heavy unconscious?", Jean explained. How could he hate his best friend?

 

Another annoying tear escaped. Marco hated to look so weak now but each time that he was next to Jean... It was like Marco hated himself more than Jean hated him. "I'm sorry" Marco said. And added "Thanks for saving my life".

 

Jean was still exhausted because he had carried Marco all the way here but he didn't stop one second to treat his wound back. Jean took his time even though he knew there could be zombies coming. Once done Jean handed Marco medicine he needed. "Take that. One per day", he said before he started helping himself.

 

Marco nodded and said "Thanks again". Then Marco turned and helped treating the wounds Jean couldn't reach.

 

Jean blushed a bit by Marco's touch. He shook his head. He shouldn't even react like that, there was no time for feelings. "Do you have any idea how the zombies made their way in? Your base seemed pretty strong", Jean asked.

 

Marco shook his head. "'don't know yet" he said before cutting a large band with his teeth to bandage one of Jean's wounds.

 

"Hm", Jean just replied. When Marco wanted to bandage Jean, Jean quickly grabbed the band. "I can do that by myself!", he said a bit louder than he should. Jean didn't change at all coming to receiving help; he liked to help people but he disliked getting helped.

 

Marco growled the slightest. "Come on Jean you saved my life ! Let me at least do that" Marco replied not letting him a choice and continued with banding the wound.

 

Jean pouted by Marco's words. And he still wasn't used to the harsh growling Marco could do. Marco sure had changed more than Jean. But that wasn't a surprise. Most people who were still alive have changed a lot. Jean grumbled grumpily. He didn't need help at all!

 

Marco almost kind of missed Jean's grumbling. He was always the grumpy guy before the apocalypse. Before they got separated and before Marco changed. "Ok you're all treated" Marco said as he quickly finished.

 

"You didn't need to but thanks", Jean quickly said looking away. He then looked slowly outside the window. "The base is still under attack. If your men are strong you'll only loose that part of your super-large base. You should wait here as long as possible and then you can return I guess", Jean said scanning the surroundings. "For now you should rest here a bit, your wound's pretty bad. Sorry I can't give you a five star bed like in your base", Jean added.

 

Jean was kind of harsh in the end but Marco was glad he'd tell him how it was going outside. Marco wasn't even sure to be able to walk at the moment. He slowly tried to make it on his feet. But yeah his back was really tearing him bad. Now an all other problem, Marco sighed and asked anxious. He didn't want to ask because he already knew the answer somehow. "What are you gonna do now Jean ?" he asked. His voice was almost shaking, it was so annoying.

 

Jean turned around to Marco again. "Sit down goddammit!", Jean said pushing Marco down again. Jean sat down as well. He knew Marco would ask him that question. Jean looked away. "I will stay until I'm sure you're able to survive on your own. And then... I don't know. I do it like always and just walk. I heard there are some groups in the next big city... It's much miles away but me and my group tried to get there. Even though I'm alone now I'll go. I just can't stay at your base especially being kept as a prisoner", Jean explained.

 

Marco sat obediently. He knew Jean was pissed and kind of nervous. It could be heard in his way of speaking. Marco suddenly had a crazy idea. He did his best and managed to reach the window. It was a huge mess outside but his men still had the advantage. Marco had this guy in his troops that was not very stronger than the others but he had a naturally born leading spirit. Marco sat again and asked hesitant "What if... I ehm come ...with you ?" then glanced at Jean.

 

Jean could hear the fighting sounds outside. Every time Jean heard somebody scream his fist clenched a bit more. He knew he couldn't do anything and it was a shitty feeling. Marco started talking again and the question Marco asked let Jean's eyes widen. "I- I don't know don't your people need you? You built all this up on your own! Of course I could enjoy company but what about everything you achieved? And I don't have a base or anything. You would have to hide in caves by night or not sleep at all you'd have to walk for ages", Jean explained. Somehow he wanted Marco to come with him. He couldn't just leave Marco like that even though he had done it this night.

 

Marco saw that Jean was surprised but Marco was serious. He was already tired of leading even before Jean appeared. All he wanted was for this zombies era to end. Marco asked for Jean to look outside and said "You see this man there, he's got twice an even better leading and fighting spirit than me. He got nothing to keep him there and he's still fighting like no one. I'll pass the group to him". He then sat again and sighed. "I don't know about you but... Now that we're reunited- I don't think I could let go of you and I can't keep you locked here. Haha I know there's no way to keep you lock. Not Jean" Marco added chuckling nervously.

 

Jean looked outside the window like Marco told him. He nodded. He looked back at Marco who made an indirect compliment. "You're damn right about that", Jean said grinning. No one could lock Jean. "I guess I won't travel alone then", Jean said suddenly smiling a bit. But his face got serious again. "But right now we have to wait. It would be easy to go now that the zombies are all over your base; but with that wound you can't walk five meters straight", Jean analyzed.

 

Jean smiling was so good to Marco. It gave him some more energy. In the small room Marco noticed an old paint pot. There wasn't more. He crawled to it somehow, it was easier, and wrote his instructions and adieu to his men all over the wall, hoping the wall wouldn't be destroyed in the fight. With that done he turned to Jean again and said "I'll manage somehow...". He didn't really have the choice.

 

Jean chuckled for a moment. Marco sounded exactly like Jean this moment. But he furrowed his eyebrows. "It won't work, Marco. We have to wait. I carried you all the way here and that's not a long way and I'm too tired to do that again for a longer road", Jean said crossing his arms. Of course it'd be perfect if they got out now but how?

 

Marco smiled tenderly. He shocked himself, he didn't think he could smile like this anymore. But it has been so long since he last heard Jean laugh. And now was the usual furrowed eyebrows. "Then... we'll wait" Marco replied. He didn't want Jean to be hurt more too.

 

Jean nodded. Marco looked like before smiling like that. Just the eyepatch and his body have changed. The smile was the same beautiful smile. Jean leaned against the wall. He sighed. "Now we have to start from 0. But well, I had to do that often so it won't be a problem. Are you sure you wanna leave?", he asked looking over to Marco.

 

"If you want me by your side, then yes I am sure" Marco said nodding.

 

Jean looked away. Marco didn't have to say it like this. "It sure would be better not to go alone. But you have to understand that everything will be less comfortable than you're used to", Jean warned his old best friend. "I still can't believe I found you after so long... Or more your men found me", he added.

 

"I.. I'm still sorry about this" Marco said looking away. Because of Marco, Jean had been treated worst than any common prisoner. He then replied chuckling "You know it hasn't always been this comfortable ! I'm sure it'll be ok".

 

"No need to apologize. You didn't know who I was", Jean said looking at Marco. "One black eye or anything is okay", he added. "Yeah it'll be. I always survived on my own we can do it."

 

Marco felt bad for Jean... But with all that said, Marco asked "What's your plan to get out of here ?". Jean always had something more or less planned.

 

Jean checked his surroundings again as he got asked what was his plan. "We sneak through the woods when you can walk a bit better", Jean said.

 

Marco tried to hide at best his painful state when slowly standing. He could do this much. "We better go now before they break in this room too" he said in return.

 

"Marco...", Jean began standing up as well. Jean knew Marco was right, he just wished Marco wasn't. "Okay. If you need my help tell me. We can't afford you slowing us down if you fall down", Jean said crossing his arms. He didn't want to sound too harsh but it was true.

 

Marco gulped. If he messed up it could cost both of their lives. "Alright" Marco replied and started to look around, for the best way to get out of the basement.

 

Jean grabbed his things again. "you have enough weapons?", Jean asked. Jean had had a few weapons - but they got stolen from Marco's group. At least he could steal a knife and a rifle back. Jean looked outside. "Ok, they're still distracted. I guess we can make it. Are you ready?", Jean asked furrowing his eyebrows. Jean hoped Marco wouldn't feel much pain.

 

"Do you even ask ?" Marco asked raising an eyebrow. He was the head, of course he had enough weapons even while sleeping or showering. Marco walked close to Jean. "Ready" he replied dead serious. He couldn't mess up. Breathing in long one last time, they ran out of the room silently to an exit not far. Running was hard. Marco clenched everything, teeth and fists. But Jean was already a few meters further than him and they shouldn't get separate. He forgot all about pain and ran faster to keep up with Jean.

 

Jean nodded. He clenched a fist silently. Why did Marco do this to himself? Jean knew it would be torture. Jean didn't even know where to go when they made it out of here. Jean would be spontaneous as always. They ran outside quietly. Jean looked back at Marco who had it hard to keep up. Jean slowed down a bit. "Okay, we'll take this way. I took that road when I uh you know fled this night", Jean said looking away.

 

Marco nodded again. "I trust you anyway" he replied quietly. It was quite an amazing thing to say nowadays. Only to Jean, Marco could say that. Because everything turned to chaos since the apocalypse.

 

Jean sighed. "You shouldn't trust anyone. But I appreciate it", Jean said cracking a smile. Jean looked back to the large base before he gave a sign and they went forward. Until now no signs of zombies. Good.

 

"I know that, thanks" Marco said growling at first but Jean's smile totally changed his mood. "Only you" Marco added smiling in his turn. Then they ran out for real this time. They were extremely lucky, no zombies were standing outside for the moment. Marco followed Jean who was... fast. It was harder every minute passing by to run for Marco. But he had to.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows in surprise. He still wasn't used to Marco's character change. "Same", he replied when Marco said he only trusted Jean. They walked as fast as possible. At some point Jean didn't hear Marco's footsteps anymore. He turned around and clenched teeth. As quiet as possible he walked back to help Marco. Unfortunately right in this moment they somehow drew the attention of some zombies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for reading !  
> Don't hesitate to let a comment !  
> Bookmark to be kept aware of the updates ❤ it'll be one new chapter every day.


	4. Casual talk

Not that. They didn't need that now. Marco slowly grew weaker and at this moment saw the zombies coming in their direction. He had one bomb on him but if he used it then more zombies would come. "I'm really sorry" Marco murmured first. He was a stupid idiot moron and because of him, Jean needed to fight when he was already injured.

 

Jean put Marco's arm around his shoulder so he could help Marco walk. Maybe they could run away from those zombies. Jean clenched his teeth and groaned silently as he took steps forward. "Don't... apologize", Jean said walking with Marco.

 

Marco lightened his weight at the maximum on Jean's shoulders and walked quick with him. Apparently the plan now was to run from the zombies ? It still was the best they could do. They made their way miraculously to the woods.

 

Jean could feel he still was exhausted. But he wouldn't die today. Neither would Marco. He finally was reunited with his best friend (and crush) and he couldn't leave him behind now that Marco had decided to come with Jean. Which was a miracle to Jean to be honest. They made their way to the woods. Gladly, zombies weren't that fast. But it didn't mean they were safe now. Jean looked around. He knew he couldn't go on for long. He walked with Marco a bit more. Shit, they needed a hiding place. Quick.

 

Marco was worried not about the zombies, they were far enough for now but because of Jean. He had a hard time carrying both his own injured body and Marco's. They needed to rest. Marco looked around and after what seemed to be a long moment he finally found a cave, ten meters further. "This way Jean" he whispered pointing the cave somehow. There wasn't a sound around so hopefully there weren't zombies either...

 

Jean looked around to where Marco was pointing. A cave, good. Hopefully one where they could sneak in and zombies were too dumb to get in. With every step Jean groaned more now. Now that they were close to a resting place, Jean could feel how every step got more difficult. But he wouldn't let Marco down. Jean made his way to the cave. Luckily they had to slide through an opening were zombies wouldn't get in easily. Inside there was no sound. Good. Jean let Marco down once again and collapsed like he did before when he had pulled unconscious Marco out of the fight.

 

Finally Jean would be able to rest now. They were somewhat safe in this cave. Marco just had time to get back Jean close to him before Jean collapsed down on a sharp rock. He must have been really tired to not see it. Marco felt so guilty seeing Jean in such a state. For a short minute Marco (a bit awkwardly) kept Jean in his arms.

 

Jean was a bit unconscious again. His body was kind of giving up now that they were kind of safe and could rest. Jean didn't know how long he was in a state like that.

 

Jean really was in a bad state. Marco sighed and kept Jean with him the time for him to regain consciousness. Marco couldn't rest his back while doing this so it was kind of tiring as well. Eventually, Marco just dozed off laying on his side keeping Jean against him.

 

It sure got slowly dark when Jean regained his consciousness and woke up. He yawned. His body was aching but he felt better. He looked around and got surprised, because Marco was leaning against him sleeping. After the first shock Jean smiled softly. Just like in the past, huh? Marco still had the habit to lean against people if possible while sleeping. Jean looked around. They were in the cave Marco found. Jean could hear zombies in the distance but they were safe here. Jean decided to grab things out of his bag waiting for Marco to wake up.

 

Marco slept, well, very well. And woke up because it was slightly noisy next to him. He opened his eyes, well his left eye to see Jean there. It has been so long since he woke up and felt so glad. He sat and suddenly remembered the pain in his back. "Hi" he said a bit awkwardly so Jean would notice he was awake.

 

Jean grabbed out some supplies when he heard Marco's voice. Jean turned around. Good, Marco was awake. "Hey", he replied. "Are you feeling a bit better?", he asked concerned about Marco's health.

 

Marco massaged the back of his head and nodded. "Yeah, a bit" he replied. He was still feeling weak and sore but they didn't have time for that. He sat closer to Jean and asked curious "What are you doing ?".

 

Jean nodded. He raised his eyebrows as Marco sat closer and asked like he did all the time in the past. Jean chuckled because of that. "Uh making something to eat I guess. You can make a fire?", he asked while preparing rations of food.

 

"Sure" Marco said. Jean's chuckle magically made him smile. He went outside really carefully without making a sound and grabbed some wood quickly. He hurried inside and prepared a fire as Jean had asked.

 

To be honest Jean didn't want to let Marco walk if he didn't need to. But Jean also knew that Marco wanted to do something. Maybe Marco didn't change that much... Or Jean just remembered little things about Marco no one else knew. Jean sighed. He still couldn't believe his group was gone and he was traveling with the one and only Marco now. With his old best friend. Even though both of them knew nothing would be like before, Jean enjoyed Marco's company. It felt great being able to travel with someone you can trust.

 

Weirdly optimistic, certainly because Jean was there, Marco asked "What do you plan to cook ? I bet it'll be great". Being with Jean made him feel like his old self, the smiling and cheerful Marco. Someone he forgot about during these last months and years of apocalypse.

 

"Something simple. We have to be careful with the food. I don't know when we'll have the chance again to grab something new", Jean explained looking at Marco.

 

Marco nodded once again and sat silently. His back was hurting but he ignored it again. He looked at Jean's injuries from a distance. He'd ask to treat it again after dinner. Bacterias were worst than zombies sometimes.

 

Jean grabbed everything he prepared and started cooking the food. It already smelled good and it was warm. They could stay here for some time. They had to, both of them didn't feel the best. Jean looked up at Marco again remembering a question he was curious to ask. "So... How did you remember me? I mean first you didn't know who I was", Jean said.

 

Marco was a bit surprised by Jean's question. "Well um... You know, that nightmare I had. And you were there... saying I had k-killed you" shit that was hard to say "I mean your self now was telling me that- the one I have let die was... my best friend I loved so much and- I-" Marco's throat was hurting. He was such a- yeah well he couldn't control his dreams. At least now he'd do whatever he can to protect his old best friend and crush. Well it was more the other way round for the moment.

 

Jean looked down by Marco's answer. It sure has been horrible having a nightmare like that. Jean cracked a smile to cheer Marco up. "Well I'm glad anyway that you remembered me. It was extremely hard knowing that I found you and you didn't even know who I was. I'm really glad you do now", Jean said looking up again. "It's been a while since you know I travelled with a friend. I was in a lot of groups but I guess you remember I'm not the person who can make friends easily. And in times such as these there's no point in making friends if you have to fight to survive", he added.

 

All Jean said was true. As he always did. "I'm still sorry you know for treating you like I did the first day" he apologized, again.

 

Jean shook his head when Marco apologized. "No, it's fine. You didn't know who I was and well I wasn't the most honorable prisoner you could have", he replied chuckling a little. "You really don't have to apologize. I didn't expect you being like that but I guess everyone kinda changes in times like these", he added looking into the fire. Their food would be ready soon.

 

Sure Marco changed. He had to become such a jerk to earn respect from the strongest guys. He clenched his teeth at the thought. Marco was convinced now he did the right choice coming along with Jean.

 

Jean noticed Marco was kinda fighting with himself so he didn't say anything. It got silent for some time until their meal was ready. Jean separated it in two parts, handing Marco something. "Eat up, it's good for you and your health", Jean said still concerned. Not just that he cared about Marco, at some point they would have to continue walking maybe finding a better place to rest. Jean still wanted to reach that big city. And they only could walk if they were feeling better and Marco's wound was better as well.

 

"Thanks" Marco said glad to be finally able to eat something. It smelled good. He ate all his plate and it made him feel better for sure. He needed energy to recover. By the time, night has fallen and they could rest to the dawn. "We're making rounds or not ?" Marco asked. Jean seemed to have better experience in camp life.

 

Jean ate his plate quickly. It was a good decision to grab some supplies from Marco's base. Jean looked up at Marco when they both finished eating. "Well it's obvious we can't go on tonight. We're safe here I don't think we have to but maybe it'd be better. You can sleep a bit if you want", he replied. Of course Marco's health was somehow more important than Jean's for Jean.

 

Marco looked up. "N-No you should sleep first, you still look tired you know and oh that reminds me can I look at your wounds first ?" he asked all in once.

 

Jean shook his head. "It's fine I can stay awake a little longer. Get some sleep, Marco", he replied looking at the fire again. He then looked up a bit surprised by Marco's question. "Y-You don't have to mine are not as bad as yours...", he answered. "Maybe I should check on yours. It would be horrible if a wound like this got infected", he added.

 

"Even a small cut can get infected" Marco said insisting.

 

Jean grumbled and crossed his arms. "Fine", he said kinda knowing Marco would insist on helping Jean. "But after that you'll sleep, okay?", Jean said insisting as well.

 

"Deal" Marco said as he sat closer to Jean. He grabbed the few supplies he needed and started with taking off the bandages and checked the wounds, disinfected and rolled bandages around them again. "All new" Marco said smiling as he finished.

 

It was weird getting helped after a long time, especially from Marco. But Marco was gentle in his touch so it just hurt when he disinfected everything. "Thanks", Jean murmured before he turned around. "I'll quickly check yours and then you can sleep", Jean added and did the same Marco did.

 

Marco nodded and let himself get treated. He smiled at Jean and thanked him. "Wake me up when you want to sleep" Marco said to Jean before laying on the ground as before on his side and yeah he quickly dozed off.

 

"Okay", Jean said. As Marco dozed off he sat beside him being on guard if something happened. He sure let Marco sleep longer.

 

Marco woke up flinching as, dumb him, he just turned over on his back while sleeping. Fatal error. He sat mumbling some swears and rubbing his neck but he calmed down when he saw Jean who was sitting sleepily beside him. Marco sat closer slowly so Jean wouldn't panic and told him quietly "Jean... Come on, man, I'll take my turn".

 

Marco woke kinda up on his own, Jean could hear the mumbled swearing. Yeah in that point Marco has changed. But it was okay and nothing Jean could change. He turned his head towards Marco who offered to be on guard now. "Are you sure? Okay", Jean said. He needed sleep - probably more than Marco - but Jean just wanted Marco to heal faster. Jean was used to just a little amount of sleep. He laid down closing his eyes. It didn't even took him five minutes to fall asleep and to start snoring. He sure has been extremely tired. Time flew by and Jean started shivering in his sleep. He still had just the clothes on Marco gave him which weren't as thick and warm as his own. The fire was out too. But that didn't change the fact Jean could sleep for hours.

 

"I am. Sleep well" Marco said as Jean questioned him. Marco stayed awake, listening to each little sound outside... It has been long since he did that last but it was for Jean so it was more than ok. Marco did his best even for this. He couldn't help but chuckle slightly when Jean started snoring. It was... kind of cute. Marco thought about the world. Before and nowadays. Things like that, how it'd be if zombies never appeared, all that. Then he noticed Jean shivering. The clothes he gave him weren't adequate at all... Marco pulled out a sweater from his bag and covered Jean with it. At least it may be a little bit better. And so Marco started to look at Jean, still listening to the outside sounds but staring at Jean's face. Which was beautiful and soft but sharp too. Well, Marco had always liked Jean's body because it looked so strong and everything. Now Marco was like that too somehow but it hasn't been the case before the apocalypse. Marco used to have round cheeks and some guys picked on him saying he had a girly face. Of course Jean beat them up. With that, the sun started to show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading !  
> 'Hope you enjoy the story so far :)


	5. Emotional talk and a late birthday present

Jean slept long. Like really long. But Marco wasn't waking him up anyway. Jean woke up when the sunlight was shining through the gap in the cave. He groaned and mumbled something as he looked around sleepily. He noticed the sweater on him. It was comfy and warm. He slowly sat up and noticed Marco sitting there. "Mhh why did you let me sleep for so long? You need sleep", he said yawning.

 

Totally lost in thoughts, Marco looked up as Jean talked to him. "Oh, good morning... Well you seemed really tired so I decided to let you sleep in. But don't worry, I'm okay" Marco replied. Was he smiling right now ? Maybe. Marco wasn't used to smile like before but when he was next to Jean it kind of showed up by itself.

 

Jean sighed a bit. "I hope so", he simply replied. He looked down at the sweater. He smiled slightly and contained a blush. Sometimes Marco was the same as always. Maybe Jean was cold this night and Marco had laid this sweater over him. Yeah, Marco still had his kind nature. Jean looked up again. "Uh do you mind if I take this for a while? It's not that warm outside", he asked a bit shyly because it was Marco's sweater.

 

Marco was feeling alright. And his wound on his back wasn't hurting much now. "Of course you can, stupid" Marco said grinning. They may have changed, Marco never had seen Jean being even the slightest shy before, this was a first but Marco kind of liked it. Marco packed his things, ready to go again. There wasn't a sound outside, it was perfect timing.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows, surprised about Marco's grin. But he was glad Marco still could grin. But nothing topped Marco's warm smile. It was a special smile. "Okay, good", he replied quickly putting the sweater on. It smelled exactly like Marco if Jean remembered right. Jean watched Marco packing his things. He wanted to go right away? "Wait wait wait are you sure you can walk now? If we start walking now we will for the whole day. Maybe we should stay another day here", Jean said.

 

"Another whole day ?" Marco asked confused and surprised. But didn't Jean said he wanted to reach the big city the fastest possible? But to know if Marco could actually walk a whole day being injured as he was... Maybe it was safer to stay a few hours more. He sat again and added "Well ok I don't want to burden you in any way".

 

"We can talk about luck that we found something safe like this cave", Jean said. Jean wasn't over-careful, he never has been, but with Marco's wound... It would be dumb to start walking now. Jean sighed in relief when Marco decided to stay here. "You aren't, don't worry", Jean said smiling at Marco. So he really was traveling with his best friend he thought was dead? Jean couldn't believe it. Somehow he just wanted to hug Marco because it has been so long they didn't see each other and thought the other one was dead, but they still have changed. So he just sat there playing with a stone.

 

Marco chuckled seeing Jean playing with that stone. "What do you wanna say ?" Marco asked. Jean had the habit of watching his feet or playing with stuffs when he had something he wanted to tell but didn't dare to. Since he wasn't the friendliest guy ever, Marco noticed him doing that many time when they were still well uhm best friends.

 

Jean looked up a bit surprised that Marco still knew with Jean and his habits. "Nothing. I'm just glad that you're alive. I never- I didn't think I would see you ever again", Jean said looking down again. He really was glad having Marco by his side again. Jean kind of needed that. He had realized that earlier.

 

Marco surprised himself blushing a little, very little bit. This has been soooo long since he last did that too. He replied the same "I'm more than glad too. I- was pretty sure you'll survive but I didn't think I'll get to see you again".

 

Jean kinda hid his face behind his knees or resting it there a bit. "I really thought you were dead... I know it sounds insulting but I didn't thought you'd make it. The first time after we got separated was the hardest. I felt extremely guilty and I still am", Jean explained. Maybe if he had been stronger to that point they didn't got separated at all.

 

Ouch that one hurt. Not the fact that Marco couldn't make it through the apocalypse, he kind of thought that himself, but the way Jean seemed so pained about it. Marco sat closer face to face with Jean and just well put his forehead on top of Jean's knees. Jean would certainly look up then, no ?

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows when he felt weight on his knees. He looked up realizing Marco had rested his forehead onto Jean's knees. "I'm sorry I let it happen that we got separated and all our friends have been dying. I know they are dead for sure if you wanna know that... I saw their bodies", Jean informed Marco.

 

Marco's chest contracted badly. "S-seriously ?" he said from where he was, still resting his head on Jean's knees. His voice cracked as he asked poorly for confirmation.

 

"No doubt about it. I saw all of them laying on the ground torn apart. I'm sorry, Marco", Jean confirmed the information. He clenched his teeth. Why have so many died around Jean? Why was he the one who could live? It wasn't fair at all.

 

Fuck. Marco already had nightmares every night. Was that the price to pay to be the only one out of his friends, with Jean, to survive in this shitty messed up world ?  
"It's not your fault, why are you even apologizing ?" Marco said trying to be gentle there. But seriously he'd like to shoot some zombies right now to calm down. A fucking lot of them actually.

 

Jean clenched a fist. "I'm apologizing because I wasn't strong enough to help everybody. I couldn't even help you", Jean explained. "And I'm just sorry that you - and me - have to go through all this. At least you're here now. At least someone survived along with me", he added looking down again.

 

Marco swore mentally for what took a good minute. He wanted to do it. But he couldn't, it'd just make the whole thing awkward. But he wanted, shit. He really wanted to hug Jean so tight and never let go of him and just hush him with 'I love you's and... Well, he couldn't.

 

"But well, we can't change the past. I know we have to move on. And for that I want to make it to that city. I hope you're still not regretting that you came with me", Jean said chuckling a bit loosening the sad mood a bit.

 

"I don't" Marco replied finally looking up from Jean's knees.

 

"Good to hear that. Otherwise it would have been a pain in the ass to get you back to your base", Jean said flipping Marco's forehead as he looked up. "We still should wait until we start going but do you want me to check on that wound of yours now anyways?", Jean offered remembering that he could help at least there.

 

Marco chuckled at Jean's comment. "Mmh well we have time anyway, why not ?" he said as he turned his back to Jean.

 

Jean nodded and pulled up Marco's shirt again to inspect the wound after taking off the bandages. "It looks better. Well it would heal faster if we had some sort of cream or anything, but it's healing. I don't think it will turn worse again", he said treating Marco's back quickly. He then let go and grabbed his backpack. "And we should make something to eat before we're going. Not to much of course I couldn't steal much supplies especially for two", Jean explained.

 

Marco pulled down his shirt back and nodded. "Do I need to grab sticks for the fire again or ..?" he asked, waiting for Jean to tell him what to do.

 

Jean shook his head. "You don't have to go outside. Maybe I grabbed something we don't need fire for", Jean said his hand still in his bag. "If I just had a bow... We could hunt animals. But I don't know where to get a bow obviously", Jean added chuckling. "But the food here will do it for some time. But not for long."

 

Marco nodded for everything Jean said. But actually Marco could manage a bow. "You want me to make one ?" he asked serious.

 

Jean looked up, surprised. "Wait you can do that? But what about arrows?", Jean asked.

 

"'Can also" Marco replied grinning. He then stood up slowly and grabbed a few things, before going out of the cave grabbing some wood he made sure nothing was standing outside. He quickly came in again and started to carve arrows and arranged a bow for Jean.

 

Jean just sat there. It was stunning Marco could do that. Jean knew how to use a bow, but he didn't know how to make one. And he preferred guns and rifles anyways. But with a bow it was easier to hunt rabbits etc. Jean looked after Marco when the freckled boy walked outside and came back again with some things. Jean was curious and sat there with big eyes like a kid one's.

 

Marco chuckled when he glanced at Jean and saw that look on him. "Hey that's not so complicate to make you know ?" he said as he sharpened the arrows tips.

 

"But it's amazing you can do that. Where did you learn it?", Jean asked curious now. He still looked at Marco's hands building the things so he could do it on his own if needed.

 

"Huh ? I... kind of learned it myself" he replied focusing on the finishing.

 

"Come on you're kidding. How could you learn that by yourself?", Jean asked chuckling. But he got serious quick realizing why. "I guess at some point you had no other choice but to get creative, huh?", he asked lowering his voice a bit.

 

Marco looked up, blushing inside. "Actually I know how to do that for way before the apocalypse. Of course it came handy at some point but well" he then lowered his voice as well "the first purpose was way better than what it came handy for". Marco just looked down.

 

"What", Jean simply said. Marco knew how to make bows before? That Marco? The Marco who couldn't even hurt a fly back then knew how to make bows and arrows? "The fuck?", Jean spoke out loud. "Sorry", he quickly apologized. "Why did you learn it then?" Jean sure didn't stop with his questions, did he?

 

Marco looked away kind of embarrassed now. "Well, you know, that one birthday of yours when I couldn't give you a present because someone stole the one I had buy... I was, well, I wasn't happy about it of course and I decided to do something myself for your next birthday. This way it'd be safe in my home and all and I worked hard to be able to give you something correct but ehm, that one birthday never had been celebrated..." Marco explained trying not to loose himself in details.

 

Jean nodded after every sentence. God Marco was so adorable saying that. Jean chuckled. "I appreciate it anyway. But you wanted to give me a bow for my birthday? Why not... I don't know something less dangerous?", he asked still amused. "I guess I get my birthday present today, huh?", Jean added looking at Marco's doing again how he made the arrows and everything.

 

Marco was blushing for real now. After all this time being separated... This morning he was able to feel what he should have felt a long time before, giving this bow to Jean. "Then... Happy birthday, I guess" he said scratching his neck as he hold out the finished bow and arrows to Jean.

 

Jean smiled at Marco and took everything. "Thanks. It's the best birthday present ever and hopefully will help us staying alive", Jean said. He would be like so careful with that bow, especially because it was made by Marco. Jean tested it - without the arrows of course - and nodded. "It's good. We will be able to catch some rabbits or birds", he explained.

 

Marco was twice happier than he ever had in these last long years alone. Jean looked happy. This was enough for Marco. He could die in peace now. No seriously, he couldn't die. But he felt really pleased now. "Good on every point" Marco joked awkwardly. Ha, he was happy, embarrassed and what more probably in love again.

 

"Do you know how to use it or did you just use guns and everything when you were back in your base? I could teach you when we'll start going", Jean offered. It would be useful if both of them had the same skills, teaching each other. Marco just taught Jean making a hunting weapon so Jean could teach Marco hunting in general.

 

"I- wasn't really good with it, I admit that much" Marco replied chuckling. "So yeah I'm not against some lessons" he added.

 

Jean was happy. He was glad he could give something back. "Then I can show you later", Jean replied. "First, we should eat something", he then decided.

 

"Yes" Marco said nodding as Jean prepared something.

 

Jean couldn't make much food. They had to be careful, there could be times when it was nearly impossible to get food somewhere. It took time but Jean finished after a while. "Eat up", Jean said smiling at Marco.

 

"Thanks man" Marco replied and smiled in return. It was easier and easier to smile with Jean by Marco's side. The freckled man ate fast. He was glad Jean was able to cook this way because Marco wasn't. At least not so good.

 

"No problem", Jean replied. He packed all his things again. "We still should wait. You can rest a bit", Jean said leaning back not letting go of the bow.

 

Marco nodded. It certainly was better if he rested a maximum. He tried to find a comfortable position and fell asleep quickly. This way he finished his night.  
He woke up because of the memory of his old friends. All of them being killed by zombies. In a bloody sea, Jean was laying in the center. Dead too. This sure woke him up fast, drops of sweat running on his face and nape.

 

They started sleeping again. They had half a day and the whole night, but it was necessary to regain all their energy. Jean was kinda cuddling with the bow or at least didn't let go of it. Jean was still sleeping in the morning not noticing Marco waking up terrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading !!  
> Love ❤️


	6. Killing zombies and awkward blushing

    
Good thing, Marco didn't wake Jean up. He was still sleeping, even snoring a bit. Was he... hugging that bow ? Marco sighed now that he was calmed down, thanks to seeing Jean by his side. He stood up to walk a little. The cave was small but he stayed inside. It wouldn't be prudent to go outside with Jean sleeping here. After a moment Marco laid down and tried to fall asleep again.

 

After some time Jean woke up. He finally wasn't tired anymore. He would be fit enough to dare a walk - but he wasn't sure about Marco. Jean looked around noticing Marco being awake. "Can't you sleep?", Jean asked concerned.

 

Each time Marco closed his eyes, the last image of his nightmare came to his mind. He eventually sat and waited. Then Jean woke up. "Seems like no" Marco replied annoyed with himself. He wasn't a brat, he'd be glad if these nightmares were to stop already.

 

Jean looked up at Marco. "Nightmares again?", he asked scratching his neck because he still was tired. Jean had seen a lot too especially dead bodies but fortunately he didn't have nightmares at all. It was even more painful to see Marco having those then.

 

"Yeah" Marco replied kind of harsh and stood up. He wanted to do something. Maybe he'd make a bow for himself ? Well no he couldn't put anything on his back so it'd just be stupid. Maybe more arrows for Jean?

 

Jean raised his eyebrows and backed up a bit surprised about Marco's harsh reply. Fine. Jean turned around for himself and grabbed his bag again searching for something. He just had asked about Marco's health and worries, Marco didn't have to reply like that. Jean sighed inside. His freckled friend had changed in some points. He sure had.

 

Marco seeing Jean react like this suddenly backpedaled. "S-Sorry I didn't mean... You were just worrying...". Marco had become a real asshole yeah. He was even more pissed now. He sat and tried to calm down, playing with stones on the ground.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows when Marco apologized. "It's fine. Myself can reply harsh too as you know so it's fine", he simply said. Marco had changed more than Jean liked. But Marco was still Marco somehow and there wasn't one way Jean could hate or dislike Marco. It was the complete opposite.

 

"O-okay" Marco replied looking up to Jean then down to the ground again. He was stupid, so stupid. All this shit and apocalypse wasn't Jean's fault. Marco shouldn't take it out on him. Not on the only one he loved and who was still alive there.

 

"Are you feeling better?", Jean asked not turning around. After all he still was concerned about Marco. How couldn't he? Jean has to get used to Marco's new character but he still kind of... loved him? Secretly.

 

"Yeah..." Marco answered quietly. What to do now ? They should rest more, no ? Marco closed his eye just to see how it'd be. What he saw now was Jean's back just as it was if his eye was open. It was better already. His mind started to fly off, wanting to see this back without clothes on. The few scars on it, kissing them. Kissing Jean. And Marco slowly dozed off, his mind filled with thoughts of Jean.

 

As he heard silent sleeping sounds, Jean turned around again and looked at a sleeping Marco. Good that he was able to sleep again. Jean hoped Marco didn't have nightmares this time. Jean leaned a bit down. "Sweet dreams", he whispered once sure that Marco was sleeping and couldn't hear it. He backed up again and leaned back grabbing the bow again. He would rest a bit but not sleep.

 

Marco must have moved in his sleep or something cause he woke up laying on his stomach, drooling. Sexy as hell... Jean was there too. Normal after all but this made Marco smile.

 

Jean chuckled and smiled, amused by Marco's sleeping position. Would Jean sleep on a bed his own position would be strange too. Jean looked away when Marco woke up.

 

"Hey..." Marco 'greeted' Jean while sitting up. No but he just wanted to have a talk with him. The worst thing that could happen would be Jean starting to hate Marco because he had become such a dumbass. It was one of the few things that made Marco anxious. This and... Fuck there was something moving outside !

 

"Hey", Jean replied cracking a smile. Jean wanted to say something but heard something outside. He laid a finger over his lips, a sign Marco should be quiet too. Jean slowly walked towards the gap and looked through it. "Zombies. Three of them", he whispered.

 

Marco frowned and nodded. He grabbed two weapons, gave one to Jean... But Jean already had his bow in hand.

 

Jean took the bow. "If we start shooting it will draw more attention and maybe there are more outside. I guess it's time to test my present", Jean said grinning a bit. He took the bow and a few arrows. "Don't worry, I can do that", he added.

 

Marco smiled and put silently the weapon he had taken for Jean on the ground. "I can't wait" Marco replied grinning. He had been waiting for this moment (not in this situation but well) for a long time. He hoped he didn't mess up in the making of the bow.

 

Jean started stretching the bow - but he couldn't shoot through the gap. "I have to go outside. Wait here, okay?", Jean said. He didn't want Marco who was still hurt to fight or anything.

 

"O-Okay" Marco replied. He knew that he shouldn't fight but still, letting Jean going alone. Well he didn't really have a choice. Marco kept a knife in hand and looked carefully after Jean as this one walked outside, ready to shoot the three zombies.

 

Jean went outside as silent as possible. He already has been noticed by the three zombies. Jean really hoped Marco's bow worked. He put the first arrow in. After getting used to the feeling Jean shot the first one. A second one was near but he could shoot the second one. But where was the third?

 

Marco who watched pretty much all the moves outside noticed the third zombie separating from the group. Marco lost it a second to see it appear just face to face with him. Shit that was surprising at the least. Marco made a step forward and sliced the zombie easily. He then looked in Jean's direction. The two zombies had been taken care of. Marco smiled a little at Jean. He was good, and really good with a bow. "Come up here" Marco said holding out his hand for Jean so he could climb in the cave again.

 

Jean turned around and saw the last zombie dangerously close to Marco. Jean's eyes widened and he was about to run over there but Marco took care of the third. Jean sighed. He went to the cave and quickly grabbed Marco's hand to slip through the gap. He sat down inside. "Man I nearly freaked out when that one was near you", Jean said sighing again.

 

Marco was glad Jean grabbed his hand. It was, somehow, acting like friends. Marco almost forgot about those things since it never had been his way of doing in the last years. But with Jean it was natural. What more Marco still felt attracted to Jean and couldn't help his move. He acted strangely next to Jean. "Hey now I'm not totally disabled !" Marco replied teasing. His back suffered but he could at least defend himself still.

 

Jean chuckled a bit by Marco's reply. "I know, man", he said. Then he got all serious again and turned away. "I just don't want to loose anyone ever again", he added sighing. If Marco died... Jean wouldn't know what to do. So many of friends have died already, if something happened to Marco... Dear God. Jean clenched a fist and furrowed his eyebrows.

 

Marco noticed Jean's frown and sat slowly next to him. "I'll be careful then" he said offering a small smile to his friend.

 

Jean looked over to Marco again. "Please be. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you too", Jean said in all honesty. Why lying everything was fine? Jean could survive alone, he did it many times before. It was better because he didn't have to worry about his comrades. So his fear of losing Marco was even bigger.

 

Marco nodded serious. Jean sounded so honest there. Somehow Marco's chest constricted. He wouldn't know either what he'd do if Jean died now. "Then please do so as well. Same reason as you.." Marco said after a moment.

 

"I'll try", Jean said cracking a slight smile, looking down. "Well anyways we killed those things and we're safe again. For now. So we should rest a bit more. I have to be sure you'll be able to walk for long", Jean said looking directly into Marco's eye. Hell no he would abandon Marco if he wasn't able to walk properly. But Jean would probably die with Marco if he had to fight zombies because they couldn't walk on...

 

Marco smiled more in return trying to cheer Jean up. It seemed to be hard for him. Marco nodded again. He drank a little bit of the water they had and laid on his side, trying to find sleep. It took a while but he finally fell asleep. Jean was silent all along and Marco was scared his friend was struggling with bad thoughts... Not that Marco could really do anything.

 

At least Marco could smile now. That was a good thing. Marco laid back down, Jean did the same. Jean took longer to fall asleep. He thought about how it'd be if he had to decide either to run away or help Marco and die. He shouldn't think like that in times like these but he would choose helping Marco. After some loooong long thinking Jean closed his eyes and fell asleep as well.

 

Marco woke up after a few hours what was quite incredible and outside he could see a part of the sunset. He slowly turned to see Jean. Marco was better now. Even very good. Like this they certainly would be able to go tomorrow. After some more rest and good food cooked by Jean.

 

Jean continued sleeping. He was snoring as always but turned sides often. He didn't dream that good. It wasn't a nightmare but all the negative thoughts he had came up in his dream.

 

After a while, Jean was still sleeping and Marco started to get bored of doing nothing. He could have made something to eat but Jean was parting the food so carefully Marco was scared to make a mistake. Instead he grabbed some wood outside to start a small fire. Night was coming and it was chilly inside.

 

Jean woke up by his bad thoughts. He yawned and looked around. He sat up immediately. Where was Marco?? Jean panicked for a moment before Marco slid through the cave with wood. "Thank god", he murmured and sighed.

 

Marco came back quickly and saw Jean was awake now. But he didn't look great. "You're okay, man ?" Marco asked smiling softly to his friend.

 

Jean ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah it's fine", he said sighing a bit. "You shouldn't go outside, it's getting dark", Jean said obviously worried.

 

Marco gulped and nodded. He had made Jean worry for him. He sat and prepared the fire. A minute after it was done. Marco glanced at Jean hoping he felt better.

 

Jean scooted a bit closer when Marco made the fire. Jean didn't want Marco to go outside, but he was glad Marco prepared a fire. "Are you feeling better?", Jean asked looking into the fire.

 

Marco was surprised to hear the question he could have asked to Jean. "Yes, I think tomorrow I'll be ready to go. And you ?" Marco replied and looked at Jean who wasn't looking at him but focused on the flames.

 

"Good", Jean replied. "Yeah I'm fine it could be worse", Jean said looking up at Marco. Nobody could feel perfectly fine in these times. Jean's gaze wandered all over Marco's face. It looked very beautiful lightened up by the fire. Jean noticed he kinda stared so he looked back on the fire quickly.

 

Marco clearly noticed Jean's gaze on him and turned his face as it started to feel hotter. He was feeling things he didn't have felt since a long long time.

 

What was Jean even doing? First of all it was the apocalypse there was no time for any feelings and second it was Marco, his old best friend. It would be hopeless anyways. Jean grabbed his bag. "You hungry?", he asked.

 

"Huh yes" Marco replied in the second. He was hungry for real, he had waited for Jean to wake up so they could eat in the first place.

 

"Okay", Jean said smiling a bit. He quickly made something and put it over the fire. It was nearly luxury they could eat something warm. "Do you think we can start walking tomorrow? We will if you want to", Jean said. Marco said he felt so better so it would be okay, right?

 

"Yes we shouldn't waste anymore time because of me" Marco stated.

 

"Don't talk like that. I even would wait a week longer if you needed the time", Jean said furrowing his eyebrows. His cheeks turned a slight pink. "Uh I mean I never would abandon a comrade just because he's wounded", he quickly added looking at the food.

 

Jean really hasn't changed, he has always been protecting Marco with all his might. The freckled man stayed silent a moment before he replied "Thanks. But I am really ok".

 

Jean sighed in relief. It was good Marco felt better and was okay even though his wound hasn't healed completely. But it would be enough so they could move on. Outside it would be dangerous again. Marco was way too important to Jean. If Marco was in danger... Jean would risk way too much. But it would be for Marco.

 

Marco scooted closer to Jean a bit awkwardly. His friend seemed to be in deep thoughts for hours now. What could help him forget his worries for a few minutes ? Marco tried to remember what made Jean smile when they were together before the apocalypse.

 

Jean stared into the flames. Why was this all even happening, why had happened all this? Jean remembered the easy times before the apocalypse. But well, he couldn't change the situation so he shouldn't think about the past.

 

Marco clenched his fist. He couldn't remember well about the past... The only thing he could think of was that Jean smiled every time Marco smiled and laughed when, well, when Marco laughed.

 

Jean glanced at Marco as he clenched his fist. "What's wrong?", Jean asked before he put the food down the fire. "I guess we can eat", he said parting everything in two 'meals'.  
 


	7. Hug, mud and blood

As Jean spoke Marco looked up. He took one out of the two parts and thanked Jean. He then replied "I... hoped I could see you happier but I guess I can't really do something for it, can I ?". His voice was calm and quiet as he glanced a few times at Jean.

 

Jean started eating and looked at Marco while he was talking. So Marco had noticed? "Uh well I guess it's pretty normal not to walk with a smile on the face 24/7. I'm just thinking a bit much, don't worry. And you're doing enough with just being here", Jean explained smiling before he continued eating.

 

So it was just like that ? Marco wished he could do more for Jean. He ate in silent glancing at Jean from time to time. Then he put some more sticks in the fire that he had picked up before. They shouldn't get cold in the night if they were going tomorrow.

 

Jean finished eating pretty quick. After all, it wasn't much. But they had to be careful with food. It'd be a lot more difficult hunting animals. Jean leaned back a bit getting warm by the fire. "God how I could use a hot shower or bath now", Jean said chuckling a bit. "Even a warm bed would be enough. But well i guess a comfy, stonehard cave is good", he added.

 

Marco chuckled in return and said "Right ! A good shower would be perfect". They were smelling like blood and mud and it wasn't the sexiest smell ever. And of course a bed would be better.

 

Jean smiled by Marco's chuckle. Jean was glad after all this hard time Marco was still able to smile. "Well maybe we have luck and find a place like with a river or anything I don't know", Jean said. They couldn't stay in blood and mud for weeks. That wouldn't be good for their health. Jean looked into the fire. "I guess you had it pretty comfortable in your base. Even my cell has been more comfy", Jean said chuckling as well.

 

Marco chuckled some more then replied "I made it so. But..". His expression changed full of guilt and he added "But not using the most glorious ways".

 

Jean grabbed Marco's shoulder and smiled at him. "You don't have to feel sorry. Everyone's acting like this in a time like this", Jean replied.

 

"Children are dying in this war, we were children ourselves when it started ! And I haven't done anything to protect their lives ! But you... You did.. And you saved mine too" Marco said as his voice slowly cracked. If he was still here it was all thanks to Jean and Jean only.

 

Jean looked down. He knew Marco was right but he wanted not to believe it. "Of course I did! How could I let you die when I had the chance to save you", Jean explained. He patted Marco's back. "Man, don't feel sorry. You can't change anything about it anyways. You had to do what you had to do", he added.

 

How could Jean say that ? So he'd pardon Marco's actions just because it was Marco's ? Glancing once more at Jean, Marco focused his gaze on the flames and let out a long sigh. He was so tired of this apocalypse. "I'm so glad my men found you" Marco said smiling slightly at Jean.

 

Jean let go of Marco and stared into the flames again. He chuckled by Marco's next words. "More like they caught me. It wasn't cool especially because my whole group was left to die... But I wonder if I'd ever have met you again when they wouldn't have found me", Jean said. "I'm glad I found you, god I'm even more glad you're alive", he added.

 

Marco's cheeks reddened the slightest. He felt shameful of his actions, his men treated Jean worst than nothing when he had already just lost his own guys himself. Marco was feeling emotional again next to Jean... "You can't tell how much I missed you the first weeks. Hum, ok, first months. Before parts of my memory faded- To be honest you were in every single one of my nightmares. And when I had a rough time fighting zombies, sometimes it was your voice telling me to be strong that gave me the strength to fight till the end. And for all these reasons I am glad to be by your side again now" Marco said after breathing in and let out a big sigh as he finished. He felt like he needed to be honest with his feelings now of all times.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows and listened in silence to Marco's words. He felt sorry that he was a reason for Marco's nightmares. But his words kind of warmed Jean. It has been the right decision to take Marco with him. Jean chuckled slightly. "Even now you haven't changed", he said. Marco had changed but not in the way he would talk in honesty. And that was a great thing. "We'll get through this together", Jean said before he fisted Marco. He had his best friend back.

 

Marco turned towards his friend showing quite a poor smile. How Marco wanted to hug him tight right now. But what was preventing him from doing so ? Marco asked quietly "Can I... do something a second ?".

 

Jean raised his eyebrows again a bit confused by Marco's question. "Uh sure I guess", he said. What wanted Marco to do he had to ask for? But well, as long as Marco didn't get the crazy idea to take a walk outside now everything'd be fine.

 

Marco smiled somehow relieved and gave a big huge tight hug to Jean (he didn't crush him though heh). He then breathed in for long and breathed out all the same long. It may have been strange. Actually it was a bit strange for Marco. It has been so long since they last had a real contact other than supporting the other one who was wounded or when fighting with fists. Marco tightened his embrace some more before letting go eventually of Jean. Who must be shocked at the moment. Marco looked away waiting for some sort of reaction or anything.

 

Jean's eyes widened and he couldn't contain a blush when Marco hugged him tight. The last time they had hugged was when Jean wanted to break out and that has been kind of a 'goodbye hug'. But this one was better. Jean wanted to hug Marco back but the freckled one already backed up. Jean still was a bit speechless but he didn't dislike it.

 

Marco started to grow nervous. Jean didn't push him away it was a good thing already. Maybe Marco was being more conscious about this hug than normal. Because for him it may have meant a little very little more than a simple hug. Marco's feelings from the past were showing up again after all this time certainly because of their proximity the last days. Still Jean wasn't showing any clear reaction and it let Marco in an anxious state..

 

Jean hoped his face wasn't all red. He blinked a few times and then smiled at Marco. "I guess we're even now", he said and chuckled. He sure wanted to overplay that he had liked this hug way too much.

 

Marco turned to Jean quickly almost with wide eyes. So... Jean didn't hate Marco for that. Marco was stupid, very stupid sometimes in his way of thinking but not like he could help it. "Yeah" Marco replied chuckling as well.

 

Jean raised an eyebrow because of Marco's reaction. Did Marco expect a different reaction from Jean? But Jean kept on smiling. "I guess you don't regret it then coming with me. I bet together we're unstoppable, like-", Jean began but stopped. 'In the old times' he wanted to say. "You... didn't remember me first right? Do you even remember anything from our past?", he asked carefully but curious.

 

Ouch, that one hurt. "I... Remembered having a best friend, the best in the world, always being here for me and yet, I forgot his name when I thought I had lost him. That's how it is" Marco said quickly closing his eye a second. "And I don't regret coming with you..." he added honestly.

 

"So you remembered our time but not me. That's interesting. But forgivable I mean we all sure have been through a lot. I remember you with less scars and two eyes", Jean said chuckling a bit. "But well at least you remembered me. But I sure was kind of shocked first. I found my best friend after so long and then he doesn't even recognize me", Jean said.

 

"I'm.. Still sorry" Marco said gulping hardly. A part of him disappeared or was more like, crushed down when the apocalypse set down on earth. The weak Marco at that time has been completely traumatized.

 

"nah it's fine, don't feel sorry. It's not like it's your fault", Jean replied looking firmly at Marco. "But please don't call me weak again because that one hurt", Jean said letting out a little laugh.

 

"I promise" Marco replied chuckling and looking again at Jean.

 

They sat by a fire, talked and laughed. When did Jean have this the last time? At this very moment he wasn't feared of anything. It was like in their past, just a bit more... Mud and blood.

 

At least they enjoyed this last night in the safety of the cave before going on outside tomorrow. Quite late in the night the two men decided to go to sleep before morning comes.

 

At some point they went to sleep again. Probably the last place they could sleep safe for some days. Jean woke up pretty early which was good because they'd have to start walking as early as possible. As gently as possible Jean shook Marco so he'd wake up as well.

 

Marco slept deeply for a few hours which was a really good thing. He woke up slowly to find Jean shaking him carefully. Marco cracked a small smile. In a still sleepy voice he said "Oook let's go !". They ate rationally like each time, checked each other's injuries (on Marco's demand, Jean showed him otherwise Jean wouldn't have done it. He was still a stubborn one) and they prepared to go. It was silent outside for the moment which was another good thing.

 

They had enough time to prepare everything and check each other. Jean took his guns and his present aka the bow. And then they stepped outside. It was a bit foggy because it was still morning but it was silent so they should be fine for now. One second outside and that large overprotective sense of his came back now that he finally had people again he had to protect.

 

Marco did his best to measure his stamina at this point to be able to last a few days. The worst that could happen would be for him to be a burden for Jean. They walked silently in the woods, actually hoping to get out of it to join the road in the mountains that was leading to the city Jean wanted to reach. Zombies had difficulties to climb on the rocks so it was a good advantage humans had on them.

 

They didn't talk once. They had to be very careful until they would be on the road where they could see way better than between trees. On their way they passed two zombies but Jean took down them with two arrows. Shooting with guns was bad in this area.

 

Jean sure was strong. They installed a routine during the few hours they walked. Marco was walking as fast as his back allowed him to, Jean smashed down zombies. When one of the two saw a zombie, he told the other immediately.

 

It was surprising how good they came through the woods. It wasn't as complicated as Jean thought it'd be. Eventually they made their way to the road. Here they would be a bit safer at least. "We sure have luck", Jean said turning towards Marco.

 

"More like we make a good pair, don't you think ?" Marco said laughing, a little bit out of breath because of the long distance and his back that was restraining him considerably.

 

"I guess so", Jean said laughing as well. He ran a hand through his hair. "God why can't we find like a luxury hotel and take a hot bath. We sure smell... Interesting", Jean said. Well he was used to it so he shouldn't complain much.

 

Marco laughed more but not too loud, they never knew if zombies were around... "Sure it'd be good to take a long bath right now ! But at least, yeah, we're alive so the bath can wait" he said but not in a very serious voice.

 

Jean let out a sigh and looked at Marco. "Yeah you're right" he said before he continued walking again. It was still peaceful, fortunately. "So how's your back? Does it hurt much?", Jean asked glancing a concerned look at his friend.

 

Marco followed on Jean's step. "It... hurts a little, really little bit but it's because I just started walking again today. Well, I can't walk as fast as before but I'm glad we made it out of the woods in time for the night at the least" he replied. They were making their way easily and fast now that they were in the mountains.

 

"That's good to hear. We'll probably find a sleeping place for tonight then you can rest. But you're doing good", Jean said smiling. Jean stretched himself. "Man it has been a while since I last took a longer road without a camp or anything", he explained.

 

Marco started to feel slightly tired so of course a place to spend the night would be appreciated. They were technically out of the zombies' reach here. After Jean spoke Marco asked curious about it in fact "How... was it ? With your groups in general ?".

 

"Hm?" Jean turned his head to look at Marco. "Well I was with a group as long as possible. We never were more than maybe 6 people. But well sometimes someone dies. I don't know with how many groups I've been already... But it's somehow fun traveling for long with a small group. You can count on everybody", Jean explained smiling. He went to a wall of mountains and leaned against it. "Mind if we rest a bit?", he asked. They had to rest sometimes even if it was just for like 5 minutes.

 

"Oh, I see" he first replied. But Marco was still curious about it because well he always stayed with the almost same fighters, managing his men and all. So he couldn't imagine very well how it was to walk with only a few people around you. And this restrained environment being temporary. "Sure" Marco added as Jean proposed to rest a moment.

 

"And I guess you'll experience the same things, now that you're with me and no more with that large group of yours", Jean replied sitting down onto the ground. Just five minutes would be enough. "I just hope you won't regret that decision one day", he added scratching his neck.

 

Marco chuckled awkwardly. Of course it wasn't as if he had just fled from his own group to follow an almost complete stranger at the time who appeared to be not a stranger at all but his old best friend and actual crush. "I-" Marco started, a bit lost in thoughts "I don't think I'll regret this". He grinned slightly at Jean before adding "I may even say it was the greatest decision of my life. I couldn't have stayed any longer in this leader position anyway. I was losing my mind a bit more night after night, dreaming about fucked-up things".

 

Jean smiled at Marco and looked down. "You still will dream about fucked-up things. But if you say you won't regret this, I believe you", Jean said. He wanted to smile once again but he heard fighting sounds. He stood up and looked around. Where the hell did those sounds come from?? Jean reacted too late. He realized they were standing underneath a little cliff. Whoever was fighting there pushed down zombies which fell directly onto Jean. Fuck! Jean tried to free himself but his leg was already hurt. How?? Everything has been so peaceful how could it come to that so quickly?? Jean didn't know how to make it out. While trying to hold the zombies back from biting, he looked at Marco, his eyes wide. "Run! Marco, run!", he said slightly panicking. Shit why was this happening? Maybe they have been too lucky...

 

Everything happened so quickly. Way too quickly. Jean was under those hideous zombies, unable to move and some of them where already heading towards Marco. It couldn't be happening. Marco wasn't able to run away, letting (his) Jean under the fucking zombies. He took his two guns in hands and acted the faster he could, shooting down the zombies coming for him, and the ones who weren't currently ON Jean who were untouchable for now. Marco couldn't  risk to shoot down his best friend. He approached and kicked them aside being so angry as Jean's face showed off the difficulties he was going through right now. Marco actually didn't feel anything, not about his back nor anywhere else. Just anger. He sliced down the head from behind of the last zombie attacking Jean and finally his hands fell on his sides again. Marco's blood was still rushing through his body and all. He tried to breath normally again and searched for Jean's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you dear reader ❤


	8. Big scratch and bouncy booty

    
Jean furrowed his eyebrows. Dammit. He would die and they would get split up again. Jean had to react quick but he was too surprised. He glanced at Marco. "Are you stupid?? Run goddammit!", he yelled at Marco because he wasn't moving at all. And then Marco moved. Jean couldn't see what was happening. He just heard gun shots and saw zombies falling to the ground. Jean closed both mouth and eyes because blood was spreading everywhere, especially on his body. When the gun shots stopped, Jean slowly opened his eyes. He looked up at the dead zombie on top of him. He quickly kicked it off of him and sat up. His heart was beating extremely fast. He nearly died here. Jean looked around and found Marco. Jean just stared at his best friend for a while before he realized what just happened. "You... didn't run away this time", he said.

 

Marco locked eyes with Jean who was staring at him. He offered his hand to help him stand up and replied "How could I ? And... We're square now" he finished with a slight smirk. Which quickly turned to a grimace. "Not to spoil the mood- but- I think I opened a part of my wound" he said quietly and chuckled awkwardly.

 

Jean took Marco's hand and stood up. He clenched his teeth because his leg hurt. "For a second I thought it was over. And I thought it would happen like last time like we're getting attacked and because of that we're getting parted", Jean said still with a slight shaky voice. Jean looked at Marco again. "We have to sew it if it opened", Jean said. "First we should find a place to hide. Damnit", he said and clenched a fist. Both of them were slower now. Jean because of his leg and Marco because of his open wound. But they didn't have a different option, did they? "Can you walk?", he asked.

 

Marco's face contorted more at the thought of losing Jean again. He blocked the idea though thinking it couldn't possibly happen. Marco nodded. "I can. You ?" he asked worried because Jean's leg seemed to be in a bad state...

 

"Yeah I'm fine", Jean said. His leg was aching and there were scratch marks, but they would just turn to scars, it was nothing that could get infected badly or anything. Jean sighed and shook himself. He was reeking of zombieblood. Disgusting. He started walking but limped a bit. "We're near the mountains so it'll be easier to find a cave", Jean said.

 

They started walking, and ended supporting each other by the shoulders because it was difficult for both. Marco nodded at Jean's comment and added "If we could find a river before or something to wash the blood". With luck, not a whole kilometer further Marco spotted a small stream. Perfect.

 

They were slower than before. But they didn't meet any zombies fortunately. "I guess that would be a first", Jean said chuckling awkwardly. It was odd that he smelled THAT bad. Rotten zombie blood wasn't the sexiest smell after all. Jean sighed in relief when Marco found a small stream. They could find a little lake or at least a river if they continued walking this direction. "I wanna thank you again. God I panicked back there I really thought it was over. If I were alone at that time..." Jean didn't need to end his sentence. Marco knew what could have happened if he wasn't there.

 

"Around here" Marco muttered focusing on following the stream to a bigger source. Jean thanked him again and Marco escaped a small exhausted sigh. "I fucked up before, letting the apocalypse separate us. I couldn't let you die over there when I could finally be helpful to you and not being just a burden for you. Thank you for letting me in" Marco said and finished about... Well, Jean could obviously have fled alone but he let Marco join him.

 

Jean looked at Marco. "You're not a burden for me, Marco. You never were", Jean said. They followed the stream and soon it got bigger to a river. "God finally", Jean said. Finally he could wash off all the blood.

 

They somehow rushed to the water. As Jean started washing the blood off, Marco stepped in slowly. He was thinking about Jean's words. 'You never were' meant.. Before. Before zombies, before all this shit. Marco would give anything to live in this time again. But things weren't so bad now. They were washing blood but they were both alive.

 

Jean quickly removed his clothing except for his underwear. Luckily the weather was warm. The water was cold, but Jean was like so glad he could wash off all the blood. When he finished he washed his clothes too. "I guess we're not smelling that bad anymore now", he said chuckling and looking at Marco.

 

Jean had a great idea to wash entirely and Marco imitated him, getting his sweaty clothes off and starting to wash them quickly in the water. He could see the part of his shirt that was in contact with his injured back, smeared in blood. Good. His wound must have opened badly...

From time to time Jean glanced over to Marco. He tried to contain a blush. Marco was so muscular and well-built now. He looked so hot. Dammit why did he wear his underwear though. Jean's eyes widened and he quickly looked away focusing on his clothes he washed. Geez what has gotten into him. He sat down and a grimace appeared on his face. His leg was still full of bloody scratches, someones deep someones less deep. It hurt but the cold water helped.

 

Marco sat, his back stung as he tried to wash the running blood off. It wasn't an easy thing to do. He winced and saw Jean making the exactly same face, the ashblond guy inspecting his scratched leg. They were making a funny pair...

 

Jean slapped himself mentally. Why did he have such thoughts after all this time? But dammit, why did Marco look like this anyway. Yeah it was all Marco's fault, pff! Jean finished washing his clothes. He put them on a stone. It was warm enough so they would dry in no time. He then grabbed his bag and limped over to Marco. "As I said before, we have to sew it", he said pointing at Marco's open wound.

 

Marco stayed put obediently as Jean walked over, his bag in hand. It wouldn't be funny. To get stitched up raw.

 

"I guess you know that can hurt", Jean said and sat down behind Marco. His back was so well-built... What it would feel like to kiss this freckled skin? Before Jean could think any further he grabbed the stuff needed and started with sewing the wound. "Haha I never forgot about your tons of freckles" Jean said chuckling as he noticed all the freckles on Marco's back. They were so cute. "I had a little girl back there in my group. She was like...10? And geez she nearly had as much freckles as you, she always reminded me of you", Jean said.

 

Marco tried not to swear too much under his breath whilst the needle pierced his skin multiple times. His lips curled upwards a little at Jean's comment. So Jean remembered Marco's freckles... The small grin disappeared instantly. 'I even forgot your name' Marco thought but was feeling the guilt too much to speak out loud.   
"What.. What happened to her ?" Marco asked prudently when Jean talked about the freckled 10 years old girl.

 

Jean didn't want to hurt Marco but there was no other way. Jean worked as fast as possible. He looked down a bit when Marco asked that question. "What do you think happened?" he said. It was obvious what happened to that girl, what happened to all his previous group members even before Marco's men found him.

 

Marco shuddered at the thought. So his guess was right. Did not even an innocent little girl could be spared ? It would be so much of a fucking miracle ? And Marco had never done anything to change that before.  
In a few minutes, Jean finished with the sewing and Marco forced himself to get used to the feeling.

 

Jean noticed Marco shivering but he didn't say a thing. He finished, bandaged the wound and stood up again, groaning because of the pain. He limped back to his clothes now that Marco had been taken care of.

 

Marco turned around to face Jean. But this one was busy with his clothes now. Marco took the opportunity to look at Jean in details. Oh... There was a bunch of scars on this back. And.. this.. tiny muscled ass... Holy shit Marco that's not the time. He stood up, wincing again because of his back and stretched a bit, some bones cracking gladly.

 

Jean could hear Marco wincing. He got down to his clothes, checking if they were already dry. "Don't move too much", he said before he stood up again turning towards Marco. He then sat down and grabbed a new bandage for himself, specifically for his leg.

 

Marco let the air pour out of his lungs in a big, long sigh. His body hasn't felt this worn out for... quite a long time. He nodded at Jean before starting to step towards the ash-blond guy. Marco kneeled next to him, looking at the big scratch on Jean's leg closely. This one should heal without problem... Marco forbid himself from thinking Jean could have died just 1 hour ago. Just the thought made him shiver now. Marco looked up at Jean's focusing face and asked "Do you need any help ? With the bandage ? -Wait, no, in fact I'll do it. Let me do it. Please". Marco wanted to help Jean the same way he helped Marco.

 

Jean looked up at Marco as this one walked towards him and kneeled beside him. Jean had to control himself not to look at Marco's abs... He didn't have them the last time Jean saw him, did he..? "I don't need-" Jean wanted to say but Marco already interrupted him. Jean sighed. He still didn't like help but Marco sure needed distraction from his pain. "Alright, fine" Jean replied and handed Marco the bandage.

 

Marco surprised himself grinning as Jean agreed to let him make his bandage. It shouldn't be something to be happy about, Marco. Jean could have no wounds at all, it'd be all the best. Marco concentrated on doing this bandage carefully, not pressing on the opened flesh, giving the piece of fabric a small tug as he finished rolling it all the way to the end around Jean's leg. "Great. Done" Marco said, hitting his palms on his own laps and straightened up.

 

"Yeah just make fun of me", Jean said grumpily. Of course he got it wrong. Jean focused on Marco while the freckled one was bandaging his leg. He seemed pretty focused. And even though Marco has changed pretty much, he still was like super-careful, it didn't hurt that much. "Thanks", Jean replied when Marco finished. Jean stood up as well - with a groan though - and got back to his clothes which were dry enough to put them on. And so did Jean.

 

Marco followed on Jean and quickly put his own clothes on. Now they could start looking for a cave around here to spend the night. Because they sure couldn't walk much in their conditions.

 

Jean grabbed all his things. His leg still hurt, but he already felt better because he was clean again and without blood all over him. He didn't want to think about how close to death he's been back there. Jean looked at Marco. "We should go and search for a cave. I guess we won't take long since we're near the mountains" he said walking over to Marco.

 

They grabbed their things and started walking higher in the mountains, the furthest away from eventual zombies and by chance quickly found a cave as rain started to fall down. Fuck, why was there rain in the first place. Marco settled in the cave, glancing at Jean from time to time. Jean's leg would take a moment to heal, looking how it seemed to tear his skin badly, the pain being unsuccessfully repressed from his features. Marco tried to repress his own sad expression seeing his best friend hurt. Better hurt and alive than... Well. He knew the end of it. Marco escaped a long sigh and sat.  He looked up to Jean and started a casual conversation. "We walked far in the end of the day, we gained some time above us don't you think ?" he asked trying to make his voice cool and tender. Not into something raspy and brutal.

 

It wasn't easy to walk in the first place but they managed to walk for long and to find a cave. Jean was more than relieved they found that. With a groan Jean sat down inside the cave. He leaned against the wall. Finally he could rest his leg. After he regained some of his energy, he looked over to Marco. "Yeah I guess so. But this time we'll loose it here. We can't afford continuing on walking now that we found this. We have to take a longer break especially you" he said.

 

Marco grimaced, wishing he could heal miraculously in the time of the night. But he wasn't Jesus and his wound obviously needed time to close up. He sighed heavily being absolutely not patient but turned to Jean and smiled warmly at him. At least, Jean was there... Marco closed his eye a second, relaxed and a small grin plastered on his face.

 

Jean was like so glad they found the cave before the rain got heavier. And Jean was hella glad he could rest his leg. He brushed off some sweat. "It's pretty warm in here" he said removing the pullover from the shirt. Why got it warm so suddenly? Jean leaned back and closed his eyes. He was exhausted.

 

Marco didn't budge, barely open his eye to see Jean lean back and rest. Marco muffled a small chuckle. Jean was... Jean was special. He had adult features for sure and a undeniable roughness but at the same time he had moments where he looked like a little and brave child. Somehow.. The same way a young big brother wants to protect his defenseless newborn of little sister. Well, Jean had always acted a bit like this. But being an only child, the one he protected was Marco...

 

Jean closed his eyes. He felt strangely dizzy and tried to relax. At least they were safe now. Jean felt that his body wasn't doing so good, probably because of the scratches by the zombies on his leg, but at least they were alive and safe. That was all that mattered.

 

Marco breathed out his tiredness and made his way straight on his legs to walk and lay down not far from Jean. Well, closer. Maybe a bit too close but he didn't care much. Jean almost died today so Marco felt like staying close to him for the next few hours. Searching for reassurance maybe.

 

Jean opened his eyes loosely and watched Marco walking over to him. "Don't walk so much" Jean murmured when Marco sat down. He closed his eyes again. He just wanted to sleep.

 

Marco offered a smile and a nod appreciating Jean's concern. But all they needed now was sleep. And Jean went first for it. Marco settled the best he could, half laid on his side half on his stomach and eventually fell asleep as well.   
Outside the rising night was calm and the only sound being heard was the flicks of raindrops hitting the ground...

 

Jean smiled back at Marco before he laid down to get to sleep. Finally. Jean doze off like so quick he didn't even noticed Marco going to sleep as well. It was silent outside, but Jean wasn't sleeping that calmly. Even though it was raining outside and fresh air got into the cave, Jean felt extremely hot and was sweating in his sleep.

 

Marco didn't wake up despite Jean shifting in his sleep. At least, not at first...

 

Jean didn't wake up though. At some point he made grumpy, muffled sounds which were pretty quiet. It was not like he was talking in his sleep, his body just... Did that. And not because Jean had a nightmare or anything (he had not).

 

After a while of muffled sounds and shifting next to him, Marco regained consciousness and hardly opened his eye, his eyebrows tightly knit together. He took a moment to realize it was all coming from Jean ! But when he did, Marco hurried (a bit too quickly for his back to stay well and he winced from the striking pain that went through his body) to Jean's side. Very close. And God, the poor man was sweating and trembling even twitching hard sometimes. Marco's mind turned wild in a sec.


	9. High fever, oh Marco

    
Jean still didn't wake up, he didn't even hear Marco wincing. Jean wasn't dreaming that much but his dreaming mind sure was all about Marco and the fact he got Marco safe and treated.

 

He wasn't waking up and Marco started to panic because fuck he had a nurse in his basement and even though he would normally know how to act in this kind of situation, it was harder to think when the one trembling was Jean. Marco took a long breath first and then acted. He took off his shirt, being the closest piece of fabric under hand reach and wiped off Jean's forehead carefully. Shit-Jean was burning... And wasn't waking up. Marco shook Jean gently and called his name trying to wake him.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows when something got in contact with his forehead. Someone shook him and called his name. Dizzy and half asleep he opened his eyes, seeing a shirtless Marco next to him. Was this heaven? It took Jean some time to snap out of it and come back to reality. He suddenly felt pretty... exhausted.

 

Marco sighed in relief as Jean finally emerged. And he just noticed he had stopped breathing as he waited for Jean's eyes to open. It was small and drowned under exhaustion but at least they were opened. Marco spoke the less louder possible, fearing Jean had a headache on top of the rest. "Jean- man you're burning..." he started to say. Welp they wouldn't go anywhere with that. Marco crawled on his knees to grab Jean's backpack and extracted the water from it.

 

Jean put a hand on his head, groaning as he slowly sat up. He felt more than just tired. He looked at Marco who grabbed some things. Jean was already red because obviously he had a fever or something like that, but he got a bit more red as he saw that perfect sight of Marco's butt right in front of him. First a shirtless Marco and now that? He had to be dead and in heaven... But the pain reminded him he was pretty much alive. Jean closed his eyes again but stayed awake.

 

Marco reached now for Jean's nape to help him drink some of the water. "You need to stay hydrated" Marco whispered, mostly to himself and maybe to justify his acts. He couldn't touch Jean casually like that otherwise.

 

Jean opened his eyes again as he felt a cold hand on his nape. Jean drank the water even though they hadn't much of it. Jean leaned back again. "The rain" he began his voice pretty weak, "fill the bottles with the rain water" he managed to say. Jean just couldn't get all the water for himself. And fuck Jean didn't even want Marco to help him or worry about him. Jean felt like shit but it could be worse. He got the fever probably because of the scratches. Maybe he hadn't wash the blood off fast enough.

 

Marco shook his head in exhaustion. How could Jean think about their amount of water when he was suffering from high fever ? Nonetheless Marco quickly got at it to collect water for later. In three minutes he was back to Jean's side and smoothing Jean's ash-blond hair back with a careful hand. "Please lay back again" Marco asked quietly. His worries could be heard in his voice but he made nothing of it. Marco then applied his cold and soaked folded t-shirt on Jean's forehead and hoped for him to relax now and let the humid and cold fabric lessen the burn.

 

Jean closed his eyes again. "I'm fine don't worry I don't need help" Jean said. Well obviously he was not fine and needed help but well he was Jean. The cold soaked shirt felt good on his forehead. But he couldn't just lay back. He sat up again and reached for his leg. He pulled the fabric up with a groan and examined his leg. Shit he probably needed medicine they didn't have.

 

Marco sat still, observing each painful movements Jean made. His wounded leg wasn't good-looking right now... It was really red and inflamed.

 

Jean rested his head against the wall and noticed Marco looking at him. "Don't worry... I'm fine..." he said. He pulled the bandage off his leg and it looked even more red. Not the sexiest sight... "Give me my backpack" Jean said. Maybe he had medicine with him but he doubted it. If he hadn't, he wouldn't tell Marco because what if Marco got the idea to walk around outside to find groups who had medicine with them? That would be bad.

 

Marco grabbed Jean's backpack as asked and gave it to him. He couldn't do much but stayed close if Jean needed any help with anything.

 

Jean searched for anything useful. But he didn't find a thing. Just something to disinfect the wound. Jean sighed and leaned back again. He felt so sick. "How's your back doing?" Jean asked.

 

Marco jolted on place at Jean's question totally (or not ?) unexpected. "My- hum- my back's doing ok" he replied coughing to get his voice back in his throat. "But please think about yourself for now. Is it aching too much for you to lay down and rest ? Want me to... do anything ?" he asked unsure of his own words. How could he help Jean ?

 

Jean nodded. At least Marco felt better. "I can lay down I guess. I want to sleep" Jean just said and tried to lay down again. But instead of laying down he felt pretty sick suddenly and stood up. He ran towards the opening to the cave and threw up.

 

Marco cracked up a small grin as Jean said he'd lay down but quickly his expression crumbled. He hurried to Jean's side and helped him stand on his legs. Marco patted Jean's back a short moment then went to grab water for Jean again. "Hey, c'mon, drink" Marco said holding it out for Jean.

 

Jean felt pretty miserable now. He looked at Marco who offered him water. Jean drank it quickly and limped back to the place he sat before. He finally laid down.

 

It seemed hard for Jean and Marco couldn't do much. Maybe he could... Go and see if there wasn't some medicinal plants outside. Something to boil or to chew. Marco has always been fond of sciences and healthcare. He read tons of books about it when he was in his early teens... But then came the apocalypse. He has read some about medicinal plants and maybe he could find plants to lessen Jean's high fever and reduce the inflammation of his wound.

 

As Jean laid down, he closed his eyes and tried to doze off again. Marco was pretty quiet now. Jean wondered what he would do by now if he was alone and not with his best friend. Jean didn't know if the fever or his leg hurt more. He just knew it was hard to think straight.

 

Marco followed Jean inside when he stopped thinking so much. He kneeled close to Jean and asked quietly "J-Jean.. Uhm- would you... wait for me five minutes ? Or err ten maybe ? I wanna grab some plants outside".

 

Jean looked up at Marco as this one spoke up. His eyes widened a bit. Did he just hear that? "No way it's night time it's too dangerous to go outside for- for plants! Promise me you'll stay here. It'll be better when you can watch everything while I try to sleep" Jean said. He crossed his arms. "If you go now, I'm not going to sleep" Jean said. He was extremely tired and could doze off any second but Marco couldn't just go outside !

 

Marco shut down a chuckle. Jean was what ? Pouting ? "Then promise me you won't die on me during the night" he retorted with a small curl of his lips.

 

"I promise" Jean said as he laid back. Somehow he got the weird feeling Marco would go outside when Jean was asleep. Jean couldn't stop Marco then. He just hoped Marco didn't do anything dumb. Jean closed his eyes and fell asleep with his eyebrows furrowed. He still was burning and god his body was aching.

 

Marco sat still close to Jean and rested his chin on his knees, wrapping his arms around it. It wasn't warm now that the night had fallen. And Marco hoped Jean wouldn't feel cold in addition to his fever. After a hour or two, Jean was still sweating much and slightly shaking. Marco tried not to think too hard during the now three hours that have passed. There wasn't a sound nor a cracking outside so Marco decided to silently execute his plan. He knew what kind of plants he wanted to pick up.And hopefully he would find it quickly. He stepped outside carefully glancing one last time at Jean's troubled sleeping face.

 

Jean wouldn't die this night. He has had worse things than a fever. But every time he caught something his group had medicine with them. His body was strong and Jean survived because of his strongness - but at the same time he also had luck. Dumb luck. This time it was different. With thoughts like these Jean managed to fall asleep. He didn't wake up once. When it got cold, Jean's body was shivering, but he didn't wake up. And so he didn't notice Marco going outside.

 

The night was strangely calm. It was nice and stressful at the same time. Marco lightened his feet with the poor ray of light of his lamp. He squeezed his knife in his palm each time he heard a branch cracking but there was no sign of zombies. About what lasted longer than expected, Marco found what he was looking for. This small violet flower, and the yellow-red leaf. He went back twice as careful. Marco was lucky enough to find the cave quickly. He thought a second of the different possibilities of Jean's state now. And he entered the cave.

 

At some point it got to cold even with the fever and Jean woke up. He opened his eyes carefully and slowly. The pain didn't get any better. Jean looked around and his eyes widened. Marco wasn't here. That idiot he went outside after all! Jean clenched a fist. He stood up as slow as possible. It was extremely hard to do so but he managed to get on his feet. A striking pain went through his hurt leg. Shit if this got worse he'd probably have to cut off his leg. And then Jean would have no chance to survive any longer. He grabbed his bow and arrows and limped to the entrance of the cave. He leaned exhausted against the wall and was ready to shoot no matter what came or followed Marco. It was quiet but then he heard footsteps. He got ready to attack but it wasn't a zombie who got into the cave, it was Marco. Jean lowered the bow.

 

Marco's first reaction was to stupidly shout in a whisper "What are you doing, standing up ??". But just after he said it he realized how stupid his question was. Marco stepped closer to Jean and offered to help him back in the cave. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that. I.. uhm- I found some medicinal plants for your leg and fever. I-I hope I picked ones that are efficient" he explained awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

 

"What are you doing going outside !" Jean just replied. Marco explained himself. So the plants Marco wanted to get were for him? Jean sighed. "Geez at least you came back alive and in one piece" Jean said. He turned around and started limping back to his place. But in the middle of the way his legs started trembling and he fell towards the ground.

 

"Wow !" Marco escaped as he held out his arms to catch Jean up. Holding the thinner man tight in his arms, Marco sighed in relief. "I know it's not easy but please be careful" he asked gently. Jean really scared Marco, wobbling like this.

 

Jean thought he'd kiss the ground but he got caught by Marco luckily. "I am careful" Jean said. He just was exhausted, there wasn't much energy left in his body. But it somehow felt nice in Marco's arms, so warm and tight... Aaanyways, with Marco's help Jean managed to get down without falling. He leaned against the cold wall and groaned because of his leg. "Next time don't go outside just like that!" he said.

 

A wave of guilt crashed onto Marco. He poorly replied "Sorry" and turned away to boil the plants he had picked up.

 

Jean watched Marco as he started to boil the plants. He slowly dozed off again while watching Marco. When was the last time he was so powerless? Jean couldn't remember. And all because of his leg which was pretty much infected. Jean didn't want to die because of some scratches.

 

It was quickly ready and so Marco carefully woke Jean up. Marco pressed his side to him and helped him sit straight. "Just drink this, then this" Marco said pointing the two bowls successively and held out the first one to Jean's trembling hands. It was really nerve-cracking to see his best friend in this state. Shitty zombies. At least the one who made this to Jean was off to hell again.

 

Jean barely opened his eyes because he just dozed off. He looked at the two bowls Marco had filled. Jean didn't really have a choice, did he? Slowly he drank one and then the second. Bah it tasted extremely bitter.

 

Marco's natural 'mother' instinct showed up (it has been so long since it last did). He quietly said "Great. You did well" and caressed Jean's hair a bit. God, Marco was acting strangely for a guy with a body like his. But he knew Jean knew Marco was naturally this way no matter the apocalypse or being the leader of a frightening group during all this time separated from each other.  
    
"It tasted like fucking crap" Jean just replied. He closed his eyes again. Hopefully he felt better until dawn. He really didn't remember one time he felt so bad like this. Jean furrowed his eyebrows. "I guess alone I'd be long dead now" he murmured half asleep. If Marco hadn't been there when all the zombies were on him, Jean wouldn't be there anymore.

 

"Good thing you're not" Marco replied before turning his eyes away from Jean's drifting off face. Both alone and dead. Marco couldn't have any sorrow to have left his group and followed his old best friend. With that, Marco laid down and closed his eyes. His back was healing slowly and painlessly but rest was still welcomed. He kept listening to each sound of the night, in case of troubles coming which they certainly didn't need now. But it never came and the sun eventually showed up.

 

Jean nodded slightly. It really was good he wasn't dead yet. But there was no doubt he could be close to death. If he got just a bit hotter because of the fever his body wouldn't have taken it anymore. So the plants Marco got had to work. Jean fell asleep next to Marco. In his sleep Jean still was trembling, but the plants couldn't work like in half an hour. Jean didn't woke up once in this night. And he continued sleeping as the sun already showed up.


	10. Sometimes things change, sometimes they don't

    
Marco felt better both physically and mentally after some rest. He tried cooking a healthy breakfast (tried !) and waited patiently for Jean to wake up. This latter had trembled a great part of the night but now... It seemed better. Was it really better ? Dunno. Marco wished it was.

 

Jean slowly woke up. He had a pretty bad headache and groaned when he sat up. Even though every part of his body hurt, he made it through the night and that was a first. And he didn't feel like he was burning anymore. He probably still had some fever but it was already better. he looked at his leg. It wasn't that inflamed anymore but it looked so disgusting and ugly. Jean quickly looked up at Marco. "Mornin" he said still sleepy.

 

"Huh-? Oh ! G'morning" Marco cheered seeing his friend having enough strength to speak. Well, sleepily speak but that was good enough. "Feel any better ?" Marco asked prudent. And worried.

 

"i guess the fever went down at least" he answered Marco's question. "It would be good if you went outside today now that it's daytime to grab more of them, especially for my leg. I don't want to cut it off" he then said. He looked at the food Marco made. "Huh you did something for breakfast? You should've wake me I would've helped you" he then said.

 

Marco nodded at the the two questions. "I didn't have anything to do. Aaand I was bored, so I tried my best making breakfast. Though I can't guarantee that it tastes so good" he replied slightly embarrassed. He then gave Jean half of what he had cooked.

 

Jean chuckled slightly. "I'm sure it will taste better than what you gave me yesterday" he replied and took the food. His limbs were still trembling a bit but that was normal his body went through much and wasn't that healed yet. Jean started eating. "I guess I'd be dead by now if you didn't go outside yesterday night. But what if zombies attacked you? You can be glad you were so lucky. I don't allow you to die" he said and looked at the food. Now that he had found Marco he couldn't just die.

 

Marco's cheeks strangely warmed up because of Jean's words. Shit, has he caught a fever too ? Because Marco was acting all weird since yesterday. The best thing to prevent himself from thinking was to do something so he would just go pick up those medicinal plants again. "I-I'm going quickly now, finish all your b-breakfast please ?" Marco sputtered and regretted the almost inaudible, but still here, tremor in his voice. C'mon Marco, stop acting like a 10 years old around his crush ! The freckled man grabbed his knife and headed to the exit of the cave. The sun was so bright today by the way.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows, a bit confused as Marco stood up and decided to go now. But it would be better if they had lots of plants quickly. "Okay I guess. Be careful, even at daytime it can be dangerous" Jean said but he probably didn't have to tell Marco. Jean continued eating. Marco was outside. Jean finished and stood up or at least wanted to so he could get back to his sleeping place. But he couldn't walk one meter, so he crawled there.

 

Marco came back. Running. Quick. Plants in his hand, smelly blood splattered on his freckled skin and his clothes. Sharp knife covered of this same blood in his other hand. Shit. Fucking zombies. His back wasn't healed yet... But the stitches didn't break so it was okay. At least one good thing. Marco was careful not to be followed and finally reached the small cave where Jean was. Way to get exhausted when it was not even lunchtime.

 

Jean made it to his place even though it took him some fucking time. Jean sighed and leaned against the wall. At least the fever went down. Jean looked up as he heard footsteps coming closer. His eyes widened a bit as he saw how Marco looked. "Wha- What happened out there??" he asked anxious. It was obvious Marco met zombies back there... Hopefully they didn't follow him because it would take time until Jean was standing and ready to attack if needed.

 

"Your guess" Marco replied chuckling nervously. He put down the plants and ripped his clothes covered of -urgh- disgusting and smelly blood off. Then rubbed it off his skin with a wet cloth. Marco put another shirt on and grabbed another cloth to wet at the same time. He prepared the water and all to boil the plants and finally turned to Jean again. "I'm fine. There were four of them but they were ...weak" ok they weren't so weak and Marco had had a hard time getting rid of them but Jean didn't have to know that.

 

Jean sighed silently. First if Marco died out there Jean would be dead too in no time. Without any medicine or something like that his leg and then his whole body would get poisoned from the zombie blood. So he needed Marco to stay alive. Second he couldn't loose Marco no matter if he saw him as his crush or best friend or both. He just couldn't handle it now that Marco was here again. It was hard not to stare at Marco as this one ripped off his shirt and everything to put clean clothes on. "Four of them... I guess you're just pretty skilled. But don't forget you COULD die" Jean said. He watched Marco preparing everything. "Maybe the one for my leg should be used directly on it" Jean suggested even though he knew it'd hurt like hell.

 

"I know that much" Marco replied sticking his tongue out. He grabbed the fresh wet cloth and one of the plants before coming closer to Jean's side. "Ok- we can do that. But I swear it won't be funny. Can you... Well, sorry but get your jeans off, it will be easier" Marco asked quickly.

 

Jean chuckled. Since when did Marco become confident? It still was new for Jean to see this Marco. Jean gulped. It would hurt. Extremely. But better this than really cutting his leg off in the end or something. So Jean couldn't refuse here. He quickly got rid of his jeans and held onto them. Not that the pain would be less then... "Just do it already" Jean said.

 

Marco gulped in his turn when he faced the inflamed wound. "We first need to disinfect that" Marco murmured. The crease between his eyebrows was something. Marco took what he needed in the bag and locked eyes with Jean before he started. "Ready ?" he said but not really questioning Jean here. You're never ready to suffer.

 

Jean looked away as he saw Marco's face. Yeah it really looked extremely disgusting. But it's not like Jean could do something about that. He looked back at Marco. It had to be disinfected, but... Shit Jean wasn't ready at all, but he nodded anyways. It couldn't hurt more than the leg did itself... Right?

 

Marco nodded in return and breathed in to gather up some courage. This... would be ok. And Marco started. He washed the wound again. Disinfected the flesh. Glanced at Jean's face, like every two seconds. It was hard and both of them were trembling here. Last thing to do was to apply the leaves on the flesh. "Breathe. Deep" Marco ordered Jean and then applied the leaves. Done.

 

Jean had it hard not to start shouting and screaming (zombies could be drawn then) but fuck the pain right now was just unbelievable. Jean bit his lip so much it started bleeding and his hands were clenched to fists you could see the white of the bones. Jean leaned his head against the wall and breathed deeply. When was this over already?? It hurt like hell but that also meant his wound was pretty bad from the beginning... It was right to do that. Once Marco had finished Jean's face and muscles loosened a bit. This has been torture. "Thanks" he said. It was something he had to do and he went through it. But that wouldn't be the last time he probably needed some more plants after some time because well his leg wouldn't heal fast.

 

And Marco surprised himself smiling. Jean had behaved so well. "Well done, man" he whispered suddenly exhausted again. He patted Jean's other leg a bit and stood up exhaling all the pressure out of his lungs. Jean should feel better and better from now on, right ?

 

Jean leaned his head back once again and caught his breath again. Fuck finally this was over. For now. "I'm sorry we can't go on because of me. We probably have to wait some more days here, I can't walk one step" Jean said and looked down. He hated being useless.

 

"Hey, don't say that. You're alive that's all that matters" Marco said pretty serious. They could wait a few days at least.

 

Jean sighed and closed his eyes. Yeah he was alive that was a first. "You saved my life twice now" Jean noticed. Yeah without Marco Jean sure would be laying under the grass.

 

"Is this so important to count ? ...Why am I here ? To save little Jean from the vicious zombies !" Marco explained dramatically and ended laughing innocently. "Sorry. I know you're strong" he finished to say.

 

Jean's expression suddenly changed and he furrowed his eyebrows. "Whatever" he said and turned around. He laid down and wanted to sleep, he still had no energy. Why did Marco have to answer like that? Saving someones life was nothing to joke on. Jean closed his eyes. Marco had changed after all.

 

"Hey-Jea-" Oh. Marco extended his hand as he tried to talk but apparently he just messed up bad. He sighed quietly and stretched his back. The move making him wince. Marco wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his head on his knees watching Jean's slightly still feverish body. He didn't have it in himself to talk again or anything. He just stayed here looking after Jean.   
And when Jean finally seemed to be asleep, Marco whispered what he really meant.

 

Jean sighed silently. It was normal that people change after something so crucial like an apocalypse, but why did Marco have to change this way? The old Marco would never had brought a joke like that. After some time Jean finally fell asleep. Sleeping was great because Jean could escape everything.

 

And so Marco put words on it. How he felt in his heart now. Something he didn't feel for so long, something only Jean could get to extract from Marco. Love. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't do more for you. I wish I could, I swear. I hate to see you in this weak state. You were... you were my hero when we were young. I lo-...d you so much" Oh god the word sounded so strange now in his mouth that it didn't form a word at all. Loved you. Always have. "I- loved... you" he managed to whispered at the second try. "I still do" he whispered again. "'don't want you to die" Marco ended.

 

Unfortunately, Jean was long asleep as Marco managed to say the words Jean was secretly wishing for ages. Somehow Jean slept pretty peacefully this time. That was something at least.

 

For the rest of the day, Marco stayed calmly in the cave. He quickly grew bored of it though and ended up carving wood between two glances to Jean. Just checking out if he was ok. Not admiring the little curve of his pointy nose nor his sharp jaw or the smooth skin of his cheek and nape and... No. Absolutely didn't. Never.   
Marco got many arrows done at the end of the day and a few useless thing.

 

Jean slept for a few hours. As he woke up his headache was nearly completely gone. He still felt a bit feverish but the next day would be better. Except for his leg, this one would take a lot of time to heal. Jean slowly sat up using the power of his arms since one of his legs didn't want to work. Jean looked at Marco who was crafting new arrows. He seemed so focused.

 

Marco was absorbed in doing this last arrow perfectly and didn't notice when Jean woke up.

 

"You seem pretty focused and productive there" Jean said. He pulled himself closer to Marco and the arrows with his arms. "I guess we have enough of them now" he added. Jean looked down at Marco's hands which were doing another arrow. His hands looked like Jean's. Just a bit bigger. Jean was smaller than Marco anyway.

 

Marco kept a calm mind just offering a "Slept well ?" smile to Jean who managed to get closer. "I... was quite absorbed into it and did a lot" Marco explained embarrassed as he put all his work on a same spot. He stayed dumb a moment, clueless of what to do now that Jean woke up. Has he... maybe by chance heard what Marco had said earlier ? Maybe not. "Do you uhm- wanna try making one ?" Marco asked pointing one of the arrows.

 

"Yeah you sure did" Jean said and chuckled slightly. Marco had made a good amount of arrows. Jean raised his eyebrows and looked up at Marco again as this one offered Jean to make an arrow himself. "I don't know how but I guess that won't harm anyone so sure" Jean said scooting a bit closer. Hopefully he wouldn't fuck up. Jean was not the best at making things, he mostly destroyed them somehow...

 

Why Marco was a good leader certainly wasn't because of his strength. At least not at first. He was good at giving clear and clever orders. And he was because teen Marco loved helping others and sharing what he had learned during the day and such things that needed to be explained clearly.   
Jean sat closer and Marco gave him a stick good enough to become an arrow. "It's simple. First you focus on this part and leave this one for the end" he started and continued to explain in time with Jean's hand moving.

 

Jean grabbed the stick, he nodded after every word and did what Marco told him. It wasn't easy, Jean didn't know how Marco made them this perfect. In the end Jean had made something that looked like a... Not like an arrow. Or at least a pretty poor one. Jean groaned. "I guess the making's more your thing" Jean said and put the kind-of-arrow down.

 

"Oh ? Well, maybe. But you have a few days to master the thing !" Marco said chuckling playfully. Jean did his first arrow and honestly it wasn't as bad as it seemed to be. Marco had spent sleepless nights making them before getting a good result.

 

"I guess I have" Jean replied and sighed chuckling. He grabbed a new stick and started doing the same. He didn't hope for it but if they got separated whysoever Jean needed to make arrows himself. While doing so he noticed his jeans were still laying at his sleeping place. "Uhm could you hand me those?" Jean asked slightly blushing.

 

Marco was daydreaming somehow. It was so calm, it felt good. "Huh ? Sure" he replied and stood up to grab Jean's pants. He came back and oh God the dilemma. "Do you erm- need help or...?" Marco asked knowing Jean obviously couldn't get both legs in his jeans again. Maybe they should cut off the left leg of the pants. Half-short, half-jeans.They could do that. Or not. Did Jean even want to put his jeans on again ? Marco, please stop thinking so much and give him his pair of jeans already.

 

"I don't need help!" Jean blurted out. Just thinking about Marco helping him getting his pants back on was too much for Jean. He grabbed his jeans from Marco. Okay, how should he do that now... Hm... "Do we have some bandages left?" he asked. Maybe it was better not to put fabric right on the wound.

 

"W-we do" Marco replied panicked. He really should stop thinking so much. And Jean may be badly injured, he was a grown man with a lot of pride. Marco knew that much. He returned to the bag and dug the bandages out of it.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows. Why was Marco so panicked so suddenly? "Thanks" Jean said as Marco got the bandages. Jean pulled his leg close with a groan and started bandaging it. It still looked so disgusting and hurt like hell. But well something like this or Marco's back couldn't heal in a few hours. The pain was clearly seen in Jean's face. "So how's your back doing?" he asked.

 

Unexpected question. "Good. I-I mean, better. The stitches were necessary" he replied watching Jean. It was hard to see his best friend with his face painted with pain. Marco wished he could take the pain away from him.

 

"I'm glad" Jean replied. He finished quickly with the bandages. Now the difficult part. Jean grabbed his jeans. The question was how to do it. Jean decided to just put them on, no matter the pain. Which resulted in a bad idea. But well Jean was too stubborn to ask for help and Marco's hand dangerously close to... Well there, would cause more - cough - problems than they already had.

 

Marco nodded at Jean's reply. And oh just how do you expect Marco to stay put in place when Jean was showing such a pained expression. A bit more and his body would start trembling again because of too much pain. "Stop it, idiot" Marco said harsher than he wanted it to sound and he grabbed both Jean's hands in his to stop him in his struggling with a fucking pair of jeans. "We could... We could just cut a line on the side here and the fabric would loosen enough for your thigh to be free of tension when in it" Marco explained showing where he was thinking of cutting the fabric.

 

Jean backed up a bit surprised by Marco's harsh sound. His hands got grabbed. That was probably better than continuing with the torture. Jean quickly pulled his hands back to him before he could start blushing. He nodded by Marco's next words. "Yeah that could work but that's the only jeans I have my others are still in your base after all" Jean said trying not to sound too pissed. He still missed his old clothes.

 

"Yeah. Sorry about this" Marco replied but focused on where to cut so it would be just enough and wouldn't ruin the jeans. He took his knife and cut a straight line. Marco was good with a knife (but who cared right now). "Try like this" he asked trying to sound gentler this time. The apocalypse really messed up with his character, Marco knew that himself. But he didn't want it to have consequences on his relation with Jean. Too late, man. Way too late.

 

Marco was so close, way too close... Jean noticed he almost was holding his breath. Once Marco finished Jean breathed out again. Again he started trying to put his pants back on. It was easier now, but no way Jean could get them fully on without standing up. Shit.

 

Marco didn't ask this time and helped himself. He stood and put Jean on his feet by lifting him up by the shoulders.

 

Jean groaned as Marco lifted him up. Why did every movement hurt? And Jean felt miserable. He knew he needed that help and he was glad Marco wanted to help him in the first place but Jean hated it at the same time because he was too weak to stand up himself. And that was one of the worst feelings Jean had. Jean grew slightly red because of the embarrassment. But he quickly pulled his pants on. "You can let go now" he murmured.

 

"Ok" Marco murmured back as he slowly let go of Jean.

 

How low could Jean sink from now on? Marco let go of Jean and this one sat on the ground again. Jean looked down and furrowed his eyebrows. Jean was no one who was fine with getting helped like this. Like he was a stupid child who could do nothing. At least Marco didn't laugh at him.

 

Marco sighed, a small grin growing on his lips. He let himself slide down next to Jean. They had time now... Maybe they could like talk ? Chat ?

 

Jean took a quick glance at Marco and looked back down. What was that grin for? Jean scratched his neck and sighed. "Sorry that I'm a burden now" he said. He laid back a bit. Why was he wounded like that in the first place they had to stay here for much longer than expected. All thanks to Jean.

 

"You're not" Marco replied before Jean could finish with his flow of deeeepressing thoughts. "Anyways just remember I killed 4 zombies this morning. My back prays for rest too. And... I can't say that we have time but we have enough to make sure we'll make the rest of this 'trip' without dying on each other's back" he said calmly.  And summoned what he had in himself to add "and I want you to live. By my side". This meant more for Marco than Jean could understand.

 

Jean sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Marco was right with the words he said. "And what is the 'rest of the trip'?" Jean murmured more to himself than to Marco. Jean looked up at Marco. He smiled slightly. It was nice to hear such words in times like these. "Don't worry I don't intend to leave you" he said. That was something a friend could say right? Jean kind of meant it in a different way as well but it was true no matter if crush or best friend.

 

Marco no matter how broad and scarred, couldn't contain the blush that invaded from the back of his neck to his ears. This wasn't a good sign... Marco gulped and dove for it. "Then the rest of the trip is... till you have enough of me ?" he said grinning awkwardly and so embarrassed by his own words. It sounded like a fucking proposal to his best friend. A nervous laugh grew in his throat but Marco choked it off.

 

Jean continued looking at the ground. He chuckled. "It'll take some fucking time until I have enough of YOU you know it's not like we've already been best friends for ages" Jean said. Jean knew Marco since he could think. "I know you for too long to get annoyed of you" he added. Yeah Jean sure knew Marco for long. He knew nearly everything about Marco... Or at least the Marco before the apocalypse. This Marco, he wasn't so sure if he really knew everything of him. But Jean didn't need to for trusting Marco.

 

"Great" Marco replied smiling genuinely. It was pretty good this way. Marco almost forgot the apocalypse an instant thanks to those few words from Jean. "Not to spoil the mood or anything man but we should prepare something to stand for a dinner don't you think ?" he said coming back to earth.

 

"Dinner? I'd be hella glad getting a real dinner in times like these" Jean replied jokingly. "But yeah that'd be good, wai-" he said and was about to grab his bow but he remembered he couldn't even stand up on his own yet. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Can you go out hunting and I make a fire and everything?" Jean asked slowly veeeery slowly accepting the fact he couldn't do much now.

 

Marco nodded with a severe expression regaining his features and added a quite "Sure". He took his knife in his hand and his bow and a few arrows with him. It was still clear enough outside for him to see but he shouldn't take long. "I'll be back in no time" he said before stepping out of the cave.

 

"Okay" Jean replied. He watched Marco preparing and walking outside. "Be careful" Jean said as Marco had already stepped out of the cave. He sighed. Please no more drama today. Jean crawled to the place they kept some sticks Marco had collected. He didn't take long to prepare a fire, he didn't need to move that much for it. at least this he could do. Now he waited impatiently for Marco's return. What if one day Marco would leave this cave and never came back laying dead onto the grass? Jean didn't even want to think about it.  
 


	11. Caring for each other

    
It was peaceful in the mountains and Marco quickly spotted wild rabbits and small animals. But Jean was a bit (a lot) down because of his wound so maybe something worth a real meal would make him happy. Marco looked for something bigger. Something with four legs and horns. And he found it after a while. Marco chased it for longer than he realized and shot it down as the sun disappeared completely. He realized only now how far he got chasing the dinner. And night fell suddenly. Marco hurried back but it was late already and dark when he finally remembered how to make his way back to the cave. If he didn't die on his way back, Jean would surely kill him anyway for being so late and unconscious and... Everything Jean could legitimately say.

 

Jean waited and waited. Marco sure took his time. Jean grew more and more anxious by every minute that passed. Where was Marco? What if zombies attacked and killed him?? The night was coming already. Fuck where was Marco. Jean damned himself for not being able to stand up and search for him. For now he could just wait. Even though it was fucking difficult.

 

Marco prayed for zombies to be sleeping tonight. Or anything to keep them away from him.   
And Marco was one lucky guy because he made it back safely to the cave. Shit he was fearing more Jean's reaction than the zombies now.

 

Jean finally heard footsteps from the outside. He looked up quickly and sighed in relief as Marco came through the opening. He was so relieved. But angry. "Where have you been?" he asked crossing his arms. "I was worried you can't just go off like that it's dangerous out there fuck what if you got killed out there! You can be lucky I can't stand on my own for now !" he said. Okay, maybe he was a bit dramatic here but Marco has been away for so long and so much bad thoughts came up in Jean's mind in the meantime. He just cared about his best friend!

 

Marco the leader would just make him shut his mouth and start preparing the food. But Marco the friend whispered a weak "Sorry" with his eyes full of guilt like the child he was once did in similar situations before. Like this time when Jean forbid Marco from taking the long road to school and Marco did. He got lost and missed the whole day of school in the end. Jean was so mad. And Marco felt guilty for disobeying Jean when all the other child wanted was to protect his freckled friend.

 

Jean sighed again. "At least you came back in one piece" he said. He couldn't stay mad at Marco for long but Marco got him worried like so much. Just now Jean noticed Marco was carrying something much bigger than a bird or a rabbit. "What did you get there?" he asked curious now.

 

Marco let out the air he was was locking in his lungs. Jean wasn't so mad. Good. Marco stepped closer to the fire and Jean and slid the animal down. "I... actually don't know what it is" he replied honestly playing a dumb face to Jean.

 

Jean inspected the animal. "I don't know either but it seems like because of that you took so much time. But why didn't you go for rabbits? It'd have been a lot easier" Jean asked as he started preparing dinner.

 

"I thought we'd last longer with a big one" Marco lied. Ok, no, it wasn't really a lie but it wasn't his first motive either. "And I wanted to cheer you up with good red meat. I guess I failed somewhere in my plan but... Once again, sorry" Marco added deciding to be honest.

 

Jean nodded. Yeah it'd be good if they had something in stock. Jean looked up a bit surprised. Marco wanted to cheer Jean up with that? God that was so adorable. Not that Jean would mention that. Cough. "Thanks man. But do I look so bad I have to get cheered up?" Jean then asked with a tired smile. He chuckled. "It's fine, I appreciate it. Not everyone would do that."

 

"Do you really want a honest reply ?" Marco said chuckling and cracked an amused smile in response to Jean's tired smile. 'I'm not everyone' Marco almost said but choked it off because what way to spoil the mood better. He finally simply nodded and kept a smile on his freckled face. "Let's prepare this dinner then" he told Jean and winked. Because Jean survived it needed to be celebrated at least a bit. Marco winked... Well in his own way.

 

"Uhm better not" Jean replied and laughed the slightest. Yeah he knew he looked awful. It was clearly seeable that his body had put all his energy to fight against the fever and everything. So a dinner like this was more than welcomed. "Yeah let's do that" Jean said. They finished pretty quick and it smelled very well already.

 

Marco's stomach decided to manifest itself loudly as they finished cooking all that.

 

Now Jean really started laughing by the sound of Marco's stomach. "I guess we should eat now, shouldn't we?" Jean said and parted the food. Cooking and eating together was great it distracted Jean from the pain in his leg.

 

Marco nodded strongly and started eating almost...ferociously ? Almost. It was yummy.

 

Jean chuckled. Marco seemed pretty hungry. But Jean was too so he started to eat as well. Wow whatever this animal was it tasted pretty good. But even if it did Marco shouldn't risk his life for it. Jean sighed. He couldn't imagine what he'd do by now if Marco didn't come back.

 

Marco glanced curiously at Jean as this one sighed. "Ish shomethinh the matter ?" Marco asked his mouth quite full. Not sexy at all.

 

Jean looked up and nearly choked as he started chuckling. "God you still didn't learn to speak when your mouth's empty" he said. Then he scratched his neck. "Everything's fine" he lied and laid back a bit. "Ah that really is some good dinner" he added rubbing his belly.

 

Marco chuckled back and finished his meal. He ate so much compared to what they could catch recently. Marco scooted closer and stuck his side to Jean's. He then locked eyes with him and murmured faking an angry face "Don't you dare lie openly to me Jean Kirschtein". Marco tried to keep back the urge to laugh again but simply backed up and sighed dramatically. "I think I'm not wrong in what I guess you're feeling down for but maybe I dunno you feel depressed because me, Marco, became such an unconventional grownup. That's sad, don't you think ?" Marco added playfully, laying on his side and keeping his head up with his elbow on the hard ground.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows when Marco scooted closer and looked at him angrily. This was something that hadn't changed - Marco could tell immediately when Jean was lying. Not that he did that pretty often anyway. Jean was an honest guy in general. And it was weird getting called by his full name for so long. When he travelled with groups the last name didn't matter. Jean didn't know though why Marco was talking like something serious playing it off playfully. Jean didn't answer. He didn't have to after all. "As I said it's fine" Jean repeated. He didn't want to talk about his thoughts at all.

 

"Ok man" Marco replied offering a caring smile and then turned his stomach to the floor laying like that. He could welcome some sleep hours now.

 

Jean was glad Marco didn't ask anymore and just let it be. Jean watched Marco laying down to sleep. Jean sighed again. He stayed up some more and just looked into the fire. He decided to try a new arrow to show he wasn't useless here. He didn't know how long he worked on that thing though. He finished and pretty confident about the result. But it made him tired so he just laid back, the arrow next to him, and fell asleep, snoring as always now that the fever was nearly gone.

 

Marco slept quite satisfied thanks to the meat and Jean being a few inches from him. Plus the fire burning still was keeping him warm. He slept to the morning when he woke up by the ray of the rising sun. Jean was asleep not far from him, snoring gracefully. Marco couldn't help but chuckle lightly.

 

Because Jean had stayed up longer this night he slept for longer as well. Even when the sun showed up Jean didn't wake up. He slept peacefully this time.

 

It was weird how Marco was happy being able to help Jean and all. Even more when Jean was so upset about it. But this way Marco was useful to him and it was a good feeling for him. Marco was slowly regaining his previous self, the generous, shy and selfless Marco. Of course he wasn't aware of this himself but he could feel something melting somewhere in his chest and Jean was the one giving fire to melt it.

 

After some more time Jean slowly woke up. He looked around sleepily. First thing he saw was the arrow he had made. He then turned around and saw Marco already awake. Jean yawned. "Did you sleep well man?" he asked stretching himself.

 

Marco avoided being creepy here and turned his eyes away before Jean emerged from sleep. "I-I did" he replied chuckling and tried to act natural. You're done, man. This ash-blond guy won't let you act normal for the rest of your life. "You?" Marco asked then with a smile starting to grow on his lips.

 

"Good" Jean replied. "I guess I can say I finally slept normal" he replied and chuckled a bit. He didn't feel that much pain in the first place anymore which had to be a good sign. Jean tried to stay up but he fell back down. One more day and he would manage to walk again. For sure!

 

Marco tried not to laugh at what he had under his eyes. His amusement was innocent, he wouldn't laugh at Jean or pity him nor anything. Jean was strong. He just looked like a newborn deer trying to get on his feet. Cute, extremely cute. But sad at the same time because Marco wished Jean could be without this enormous scratch on his thigh. "I'll go pick up more plants later. It'll help" Marco said as he started to get things to prepare some sort of a meal.

 

Jean shot a glare at Marco as this one started laughing. Of course he understood it in the wrong way. "Yeah I guess some more are good. And it isn't dark outside, that's good too" he said. "Let me do that" he added as Marco started preparing a meal. Jean didn't want to just sit around.

 

"Ok" Marco replied obediently giving what he had in hands to Jean. He stood up and noticed this piece of wood on the floor. It... wasn't how Marco was doing them. The arrows. Marco glanced back at Jean who was buried in what he was currently doing. Marco picked the arrow and examined it. It was good, like good enough to shoot something with it ! Marco stepped back to Jean and slid down his side. How to say this... "It's pretty good" Marco started turning the arrow between his fingers. "You did this ?" Marco asked turning his gaze to Jean with a small grin on.

 

Jean was fast with preparing something to eat. He did know how to cook after all even though no one would expect that from him. Except Marco of course. Jean looked up as Marco asked him if he made the arrow. "I couldn't sleep yesterday so yeah I tried one again" Jean answered and turned back to what he was doing.

 

Marco nodded lost in thoughts. Jean wasn't very talkative apparently. So Marco grabbed his knife and walked out of the cave. Morning air felt good in his lungs. He walked only a few minutes before meeting a small zombie. It was a piece of cake to get rid of it even with Marco's still healing back. He washed his knife in a little stream and went again looking for those plants.

 

Jean watched Marco walking out of the cave. He knew Marco grew strong and was able to fight and defend himself, but every time Marco got out of their hiding place Jean started to worry. Every time. Jean finished with the meal and waited for Marco's return. He chuckled. It was absurd to think of but Jean preparing food and waiting for Marco to return... It was like they were married. Jean grew furiously red and shook his head. First of all marriage in times like these? And why couldn't he stop seeing more in Marco than just a friend? It was so annoying but not like Jean could do something about it. He sighed again and leaned back a bit, waiting.

 

With a bunch of medicinal plants in his hands Marco came back to the cave. Mountains were perfect to be the safest from zombies. They were always concentrated in the cities.   
"I'm back" Marco said a bit loud when he stepped inside. He was happy to smell the great meal Jean had managed to do with... what ? Dust ? Marco didn't have a clue of how Jean was doing those very good meals with barely nothing but they always were welcomed by Marco's stomach. He put the plants down and sat.

 

Jean looked up as Marco stepped in again. Lost in his thoughts he nearly had said 'welcome home' but he could save it and said "Good. Were much zombies out there?" Jean asked and made some space for Marco near the fireplace. Jean looked at the plants. Marco had plenty of it this time so he didn't have to go outside that much anymore. "Thanks again" he said. Marco was risking his life after all to get those plants.

 

"Nop. Just one" Marco replied getting comfy in front of the fire.  
When Jean thanked him Marco turned to him. "You don't need to thank me, geez. But I'm glad what I can do helps you" Marco replied gently.

 

Jean nodded. It still was safer in the mountains. Going outside in cities was way more dangerous but at the same time there were the best supplies. Jean still wanted to reach that one big city. "Of course I have to thank you! You're risking your life for those plants just a thank you isn't even enough but well I ain't rich" Jean said and chuckled.

 

"Maybe a kiss would be enough then" Marco teased chuckling as well. But maybe he shouldn't have said that...

 

"Yeah haha ha I guess it would" Jean said laughing slightly nervous. Geez why did Marco have to say that? Just imaging kissing Marco was too much. Jean coughed silently. "So, you hungry yet?" he asked trying to forget that awkward situation just now.

 

Marco made a confused and amused face at Jean. Oh good lord save Marco cause he was already too deep in love with his best friend. "Sure I am" Marco replied rubbing his stomach with anticipation.

 

"Okay uh here, eat up" Jean said and handed Marco the food. Jean started eating it himself and tried to calm down again. It was good he got much self control otherwise he'd be red like a tomato now and Marco would definitely question it. Not good at all.

 

Marco gladly ate it all then laid on his side a moment. His quite big body needed to be fed a lot. And thanks to Jean he had enough to not be starving or worst.

 

Jean chuckled as Marco laid down right after he ate so much. "I guess you're full now?" he asked and sat beside his best friend. He let Marco lay there and reached for the plants. He didn't look once today how his leg was doing. He still felt pain and couldn't stand up but maybe it looked better already?

 

"Ah, wait ! I'll help you" Marco urged as he sat up again. Jean really wanted to do everything by himself, wasn't it ?

 

Jean looked at Marco surprised as this one sat up again. Jean sighed. "Okay fine" he said. It's not like Jean could stop Marco from helping him.

 

Marco prepared the right leaves as Jean took care of his bandages and all. The other way round would be strange.

 

Jean looked at his leg as he took of the bandages. This would definitely turn into a clearly seeable scar. But it didn't look that disgusting anymore. Good. Jean looked at Marco and waited for him to prepare anything.

 

Marco wasn't aware of Jean's eyes on him so it startled him the slightest when once done with the preparation he lifted his head up and met his gaze. "You can, ehm, apply this on it" Marco said giving him some kind of cream he ended up making. It was green and smelled strange but it would be easier to apply.

 

Jean quickly looked down and nodded. He didn't mean to stare at Marco. Jean grabbed the... cream? Marco made. "Are you a wizard or something like that how can you craft so much??" Jean asked stunned by Marco's skills. "Thanks" he said and started applying the medicine. He clenched his teeth because it was hurting a bit. "Am I doing it right?" he asked. He didn't know how much he should put on and everything.

 

Marco blushed a bit at Jean's kind of compliment. "I... always loved this kind of stuff. Even before we got apart" Marco mumbled trying to find something else to do with his hands now. Then he chuckled lightly. "I don't know myself... Just put enough for it to cover all that is still open" Marco replied pointing questionably the surface that should be covered with cream.

 

"Hmm" Jean just replied. He looked up as Marco told him how to do it. He nodded and put the cream everywhere he could. Jean was like so glad Marco didn't offer to do that. No matter if there was a wound or not his thigh was pretty sensitive and Marco's fingers running over the skin applying cream would be way too dangerous. "I guess that's it" Jean said as he finished. He turned his head away. "Geez what is that smell" he said.

 

"Sorry, there's no rosebuds in the mountains" Marco replied chuckling.

 

Jean sighed but chuckled too. "Yeah I thought so" he said. "But really I said it often today but I'm really thankful that you're doing this. Well no matter what I'd do the same but in times like these it's not the 'normal way'" Jean said and looked up, smiling gently. "I owe you one, Marco" he added.

 

Oh god that smile was no good for Marco's heart. Marco smiled in return and nodded. He knew it was important for Jean to say he was thankful. So Marco simply accepted it.

 

Marco just nodded. Well it was not like Jean was expecting an emotional mood now but whatever. He continued smiling some more. This smile faded as he heard gunshots outside near them. "Fuck" he said and quickly put out the fire. "Be quiet" he whispered to Marco. What now if a group crossed their way? Most groups were against strangers at first and two guys who were wounded were good targets.  
 


	12. First breakdown

    
Marco reassembled their things quickly and stayed stuck to Jean quiet. It was like sooo strange to be at the other end of the stick this time. Marco was used to it. Picking fights with other groups and stealing all their necessary stuff. He could feel cold shivers taking over his body. Jean could barely move, they couldn't get attacked now.

 

Marco was used to be the one attacking, Jean was used to hide from those people. So he stayed put quietly. He heard footsteps outside. A group did probably fight against some zombies. According to the sound there were more than two. Jean started sweating a bit. He grabbed his bow just to be sure. For a moment everything was quiet. Then Jean heard screams. And it was quiet again.

 

Horrible. Simply terrifying. Marco never felt like this at least not from what he could remember. He was drowning in all the guilt that was submerging him in the instant. How could he have done that ? He was worst than most of the zombies out there. He was terrified of himself. Not the group walking outside. Of his own self. How could have Jean recognize him in first place ? Marco became a monster who killed children. Things got quiet outside again and Marco could hear himself sob from inside. It was silent and invisible but inside it was a storm of guilt and sorrows.

 

It was quiet for a long time now. Jean didn't move one muscle. But it seemed like they were safe now. Jean breathed out the air he was holding in the whole time. They got lucky. Not every time it went like this. Jean often had to fight other groups who wanted to steal from them. He didn't understand it though. Killing each other when they had to kill zombies. Jean's grip around the bow loosened a bit. "It seems safe" he said still whispering a bit. He looked to the opening of the cave. Yeah, it seemed fine. He looked back at Marco and furrowed his eyebrows. Marco didn't look so good. "Hey are you okay?" Jean asked a bit worried now.

 

After guilt came anger. But Marco refused to let it out on Jean. "Yeah" he replied short and searched for something to pass his anger on. He couldn't go outside. He couldn't crack wood. He could... do nothing. Marco just pressed his face in his palms and breathed out long and slowly.

 

Jean watched Marco. "You don't seem okay at all" he said as Marco hid his face behind his hands. "Tell me what's wrong man" Jean said and put a hand on Marco's shoulder just like he did all the time before the apocalypse.

 

Marco sighed out all the air still blocked in his lungs. "I-" he started but his voice wasn't steady at all. "just feel so bad" Marco whimpered. A bitter laugh started to grow in his throat and it was just so worst than all. He felt like his whole insides were rotten. He couldn't let it stain Jean. "Maybe I should just leave once you're healed" Marco whispered. He sounded so twisted and mad as he started laughing lightly. His own self was giving him cold shivers.

 

Jean backed up a bit. Why was Marco acting like this? Jean's eyes widened a bit when Marco said he should leave when Jean's wound was healed. "No way" Jean said. He knew Marco was kinda going nuts now. Jean hugged him. "Don't you dare leave you can't leave your best friend. And don't feel bad" he said gently.

 

Something clearly broke in Marco at this point. Was it good or bad ? He couldn't tell but it brought ugly tears to his single eye. They didn't fall though. Marco buried his face in the crook of Jean's neck. He felt so weak right now. Like the villain after the hero beat the shit out of him. A part of Marco wanted to push Jean away, another one wanted to just hug him back with all his might. He knew he would stain Jean and it was unbearable for him. "You won't...let go of me ?" he choked out almost silently. He hated himself so much. This right moment was the start of a long unwavering self hatred that Marco would live with from now on. What broke inside him was the armor he wore all this time as the leader of the worst group ever.

 

Jean patted Marco's back a bit. "Don't worry I'm here" he said. He would always be there for his best friend no matter the changes. Jean chuckled a bit when Marco asked if he wouldn't let go of him. "Geez I found you after years no way I let my best friend go just like that. I want you with me" Jean said. No matter crush or best friend Jean meant what he said.

 

Marco stayed silent. What Jean said to him helped but it wasn't enough to erase Marco's sins. He had killed people. And now he had the hypocrisy in him to want to protect his best friend's life ? "I don't deserve you as a friend" Marco murmured weak.

 

"Yes you do. You know what it doesn't matter if you deserve it or not I am your best friend and will always be there for you and nothing will change that!" Jean said almost raising his voice. But why did Marco's mood change so suddenly? It was strange.

 

Marco looked up slowly as Jean's voice grew stronger. "O-ok" Marco replied weakly again.

 

"So tell me what's with this all of sudden?" Jean asked more gentle now as he slowly let go of Marco.

 

Marco gulped. "I'm the worst. You know what I did" he said way too harsh with his words but he hoped Jean understood he couldn't really control his flow at this point.

 

Jean sighed. Jean could understand it. "But don't forget this time is over now because you're traveling with me now" Jean said and smiled at Marco. "I know you can't change the past" he said.

 

Marco's mouth tasted bitter. Of course the past would weigh on Marco for the rest of his life and he should just accept it already. "Thank you Jean" Marco said. He meant it. Jean's friendship was the best thing he ever got all his life.

 

"For what are you thanking me now?" Jean asked but smiled. He was glad he could calm Marco down a bit. At least a bit.

 

"For everything" Marco replied before his voice definitely broke and a tear finally fell of his eye. 'For being my everything' could have work as well.

 

Jean blushed a bit and smiled. "I do my best" he replied. As Marco started crying Jean hugged him again and started to pat his head just like in old times. Well this day sure was eventful...

 

"More like you always did" Marco added with a sad smile showing up. It felt strange to cry for the current Marco but he just cried more in Jean's arms.

 

Jean held Marco in his arms until he would stop crying. That was what friends were there for, right? "It's okay" Jean whispered from time to time. He looked at the opening of the cave. Maybe Marco had just realized how bad his methods have been back then. It was never a good feeling to be frightened, Jean knew that himself.

 

Marco stopped fighting his feelings at this point and just let it flow out in tears. He still felt rotten inside and filthy though. This feeling wouldn't let go. How many hours did they stay like this ? Good question. But Marco was feeling calmer in the end. "Thank you" he said again before letting slowly go off Jean's embrace.

 

It was kinda bad but Jean was surprised of how much Marco could cry actually. Well he did cry often when they were kids but that wasn't the same kind of crying. At some point it seemed like Marco felt a bit better. Jean smiled and let go of Marco.

 

"Sorry" Marco said with an embarrassed small chuckle added. His voice still sounded so weak.

 

"Why do you apologize now?" Jean asked chuckling too. "Do you wanna eat a bit?" he asked. They still had some food left. Maybe that would help too.

 

Marco's voice didn't come out. He nodded chuckling more heartedly.

 

"Okay" Jean said in a calm voice. He took some of the food, quickly prepared it a bit and handed it Marco. He smiled but just wished they wouldn't have heard that group. Jean knew Marco felt bad now and he wouldn't probably if there didn't walk the group.

 

"Thanks" Marco said gladly accepting the food quickly prepared by Jean. He couldn't help but smile too now. Jean was the real wizard here, he could change Marco for the best.

 

Jean was like so glad Marco could smile again. He nearly sighed in relief. Jean leaned back a bit. He totally forgot about his leg and all because of all the drama happening right now.

 

The end of the day passed, Jean and Marco chatting lightly about shallow things. Marco showed him how he made the weird green cream out of the leaves too.

 

Night fell pretty quick and Jean was glad Marco was doing okay again. It has been so hard seeing him like that. Jean prepared a fire again now that it got dark outside.  
When time to sleep came by Marco tried not to think too hard and scooted closer to Jean as he laid on his side. He shouldn't do that. He knew but he really wanted it.

 

Jean laid down and Marco did too. He noticed Marco was laying a bit closer than the last times. Jean blushed a bit but wasn't against it. Maybe Marco just needed that now.

 

Jean didn't pushed him away nor said anything so Marco stayed close. Indeed he needed that. Jean was all he ever wanted after all. Marco fell asleep quickly.

 

Jean fell asleep as well as he finally calmed down. He slept for long, this day has been kinda exhausting.

 

Marco slept long this night too. Surely because he cried so much for his usual self. The sun rose in the sky and none of them woke up before what could be midday.

 

Jean woke up as the sun was already up. He sat down and rubbed his eyes and nearly jumped as he saw Marco directly next to him. He remembered what happened yesterday and sighed before he smiled at Marco.

 

Marco woke up a while after but he felt like floating mildly and it felt peaceful, he kept his eyes closed and enjoyed the moment.

 

Jean was relieved that Marco seemed to feel better. How badly Jean wanted to caress his cheek now. But that would be way too weird. So Jean stood up and stretched himself. Wait. He could stand on his legs again! It hurt but he could stand.

 

Marco opened his eyes because something seemed to be agitating itself next to him. It was... Jean ? Tall. On his two legs ??! Marco sat (too quick for his head to catch up) and shouted "Wow Jean this is cool !". Marco sounded so much like a child right now but who cared.

 

Jean looked down a bit surprised as Marco started shouting. He scratched his neck and blushed a bit. "Yeah i find it pretty cool myself. It wasn't the best feeling ever to just sit down" he said and chuckled a bit. With a groan he sat down again. "It hurts though. Much. But some more of that awesome cream you made and it'll be fine. I'm still thankful for that" Jean said and smiled at Marco.

 

Marco chuckled back and smiled. "I'm glad it has helped" Marco replied cheerfully.

 

"It really has" Jean said. "And it already looks better. What a relief" Jean said and leaned back. "I owe you two now" he added and chuckled. He then looked back at Marco. "do you feel better?" he asked.

 

Marco nodded. "Yeah. I slept well and it somehow calmed down" he replied calmly.

 

"I'm glad" Jean said and smiled gently. He smiled pretty often now, huh? But it wouldn't do Marco any good if Jean kept his grumpy face. Not now. And Jean was sure as hell he wouldn't tell Marco that in the night the freckled guy scooted even closer than he already had done.

 

As if Marco could read minds, his cheeks turned pink but it was mostly because Jean smiling was absolutely beautiful.

 

Huh did Jean say something wrong? Marco was obviously blushing but Jean had no idea why so he didn't say a thing. "So do you have a plan for today? I can't walk good yet so we will have to wait some days more, I'm sorry" Jean said. He wanted to go, but... Well. "I know I shouldn't do that to you but the group which was here yesterday may have dropped something when they were fighting... You don't have to but it would be good if you searched for anything useful" Jean explained. "Wait you know what, no. You don't have to, forget it. That's not worth it if you could die" he added and shook his head.

 

Marco smiled childlike at his best friend and decided to tease him a little. "You wanna keep me close to your side that much Jean ?" he said but shook his head too and added more seriously "Well, I'll go take a quick look in a hour maybe... We have a bit of time".

 

Jean blushed immediately and turned his face away quickly. Fuck, why did Marco have to say that? "I guess a quick look is okay" Jean replied as he calmed down again.

 

How was it Jean seemed so cute now grownup when he was such a badass child ? Huh ?   
Marco's lips curled up and he nodded. "What do you think is... the most indispensable ? I mean, if they really dropped something and I'm in a hurry what should I take in priority ?" he asked looking for maybe useful advices.

 

"Medicine. This is the most important. Food and everything we can get by our own, but try to get medicine, if there's any" Jean explained. Of course Marco could extract or boil plants, but real medicine was better sometimes.

 

"Yes, sir" Marco replied smiling. "It's quiet outside. Maybe I should.. go right now ? I'll be quick I promise" he said.

 

Jean was a bit confused because yesterday Marco acted so different like he did today. But he would just go with it. "Okay. But please be careful" Jean said and nodded. He so wanted to go outside himself so Marco didn't have to do it. But that wasn't possible at this time. It was hard every time to see Marco go. And every time Jean asked himself what if Marco died and if he should have told him what he felt.

 

"Don't worry" Marco replied quickly before standing up and grabbing a bag and his knife. Then he stepped outside.  
In fact Marco was acting foolishly. Because of his comedown yesterday he didn't wanted to look weaker in front of Jean than he already has but the thoughts were still turning in the back of his head. Marco made a promise to himself, from now on no matter what he'll protect Jean. His only goal will be to make sure his best friend lives.

 

"Of course I worry about my best friend" Jean murmured as Marco was long outside the cave. Now it was like the last times - waiting. Waiting and hoping that nothing happened. He really didn't want to send Marco out every time. He had to so they could survive, but how he wanted to change that. Jean leaned against the cold wall. It was quiet outside. Everything would be okay. Hopefully.

 

Marco came back something like less than a hour after, a few things in his bag and his knife clean.   
Things could seem to be going smoothly and all but Marco's face clearly showed something far from this. "We need to go. Soon" was the first thing he said as he entered the cave and met Jean's eyes.  
 


	13. "From the start ?"

    
Jean looked up as he heard Marco's footsteps. First he smiled because it seemed like Marco really got something, but the expression on his face showed something different. "What? Why- what happened?" Jean asked and tried to stand up. "What's wrong?" he asked a bit more anxious.

 

"Three groups have reunited, they have settled near. We can't stay. I mean, they didn't look ready to sympathize with two injured guys" he explained fast.  
 

Jean clenched his teeth. "Shit" he murmured and forced himself to stand up. "Gather all we have. If you saw three groups, we really have to go soon" Jean said. He knew how serious this could be. It was not the first time. But how was he able to walk?

 

Marco did what Jean asked and half an hour later they were ready to flee. But the biggest problem stood here. Jean couldn't walk like this and Marco couldn't even give him a piggyback ride. "Com'here" Marco asked as he grabbed Jean by the shoulders. The best he could do for now was to support him while they walked to a safer place.

 

Jean sighed and clenched a fist. It wasn't the best time to flee. But they probably had no choice. Marco helped him at least. Jean tried to walk but it was extremely difficult and painful. But they really had no other choice. This cave has been a so good hiding place but now they couldn't stay here because of that large group.

 

Marco felt the pain for Jean... It must hurt so bad. If only they could have stayed some days more. "We should head directly towards this big city. We won't get there but we'll make some kilometers at least. And quickly find a shelter for tonight" Marco said thinking at the same time of the possibilities they had. Getting too far from the mountains was too dangerous, they should just walk towards the city while staying on the rocky paths.

"Some kilometers" Jean replied overwhelmed. It seemed impossible for Jean. But they had to go on. Fuck. Why did they have to go through so much difficulties? Why them? At least they didn't encounter any zombies. By now. After some time walking - an eternity for Jean - he stopped. "Please- a break" he said. Maybe he was strong but he was human after all.

 

Marco nodded and helped him sit down. "You did well" Marco said showing a genuine smile. Jean was doing something not even the best part of Marco's previous men would do. They were walking slowly but they were already far from the cave and the groups. One of the only good things of the day was that the weather was clear.

 

Jean let out the air of his lungs as he finally could sit down. His leg was hurting so much. He shouldn't forget Marco was injured too though. But right now all Jean could think of was the pain. His leg wouldn't heal fast like that. But he couldn't change that now. Jean looked up at Marco. "We need to find a shelter" he said.

 

"Yeah" Marco replied and looked around. Further to the north there should be a hole in the mountain. Not as good as a cave but it should be ok. Marco pointed where he think they could find a shelter and asked Jean if he needed a minute more.

 

Jean nodded. "We can go I guess" Jean said and groaned as he stood up again. He needed twelve hours more to rest but well he couldn't. If they continued on walking they would find a shelter before nightfall pretty quick.

 

"Good" Marco added and helped Jean again trying harder for him. If only Jean hasn't been injured... No, Marco couldn't think like that. Jean was alive and that was all that mattered. Not that he was upset about it but it hurt to see Jean in so much pain... They found a shelter just before the sun disappeared completely.

 

They didn't do one break until they found a shelter. It was good like this. Jean was obviously suffering but he was used to it. Somehow. so they find a hiding place pretty high in the mountains. So it was colder than before. And Jean just had the shirt and that one pullover from Marco. But he couldn't care less. Finally he could rest. He sat down and sighed in relief. "Finally" he said.

 

Marco let out a sigh mixed with a small chuckle. "Go get some rest. I'll make a fire and prepare some food" he said gentler than usual. Jean really did his best today. Of course Marco was exhausted as well but he couldn't let Jean down now. He grabbed some wood in front of their shelter and made a small fire with it. It should last the night...

 

"Okay" Jean said and leaned back. He closed his eyes for a moment. Finally he could rest. He watched Marco as this one went out to grab sticks.

 

Marco woke Jean up softly because he finished cooking some food for the two of them. It wasn't much and looked very poor compared to what Jean could prepare usually.

 

Jean opened his eyes slowly. He fell asleep, huh? He slowly sat up and looked at Marco who already had prepared food. "Good, I'm starving" he said showing a tired smile.

 

Oh this tired smile shouldn't be here in normal circumstances, Marco thought. Though he totally understood the hungry part and immediately held a share to Jean. Marco started eating as well because hell he was starving too.

 

"It tastes good" Jean said. He eat so fast because he's been so hungry. After he had finished he leaned back again. "Thanks again" he said. "Even though I wished we didn't have to take that walk".

 

Marco nodded for each comment and replied "me neither" at the last one. They haven't been lucky this time. But things could have gone worse. If zombies had crossed their path, they would have been dead by now.

 

Jean smiled at Marco. Without him Jean would already be dead. "Oh I forgot what did you could pick up earlier?" he asked.

 

Jean's smile was something Marco could really learn to live with. This was beautiful. Marco came back to earth at Jean's question. "Oh uhm there wasn't much y'know" he started then get the few things out of his bag. There was a sharp knife, a few clothes and amazingly some medicine. Just one bottle of disinfectant and pills. "They didn't drop food though" he said.

 

Jean examined the stuff Marco got. "you call that not much?" Jean said and laughed. "That is pretty good, especially the medicine and - luckily warm clothes" Jean said and sighed in relief. "You did good" Jean said fistbumping Marco.

 

Oh. Oh... "I think..." I'm sure I'm in love with you' Marco could have said but he didn't. "I guess you're not wrong" he replied slightly embarrassed and blushing because god did you see that ? Jean was relieved and something else was going on here but Marco couldn't put a name on it. Maybe Marco felt ...proud in this moment. Proud in a different way than how he was when he lead his group of men. In a way that he wanted to grip on that feeling and hold on tight. Marco wanted to be helpful for Jean and apparently recently he was. Marco gave the clothes to Jean who seemed to be the most in need of it.

 

Jean quickly grabbed the clothes. In times like these it didn't matter who the clothes belonged too. It was just important they got them. "Now I'm not going to freeze my ass off" he said and chuckled slightly. "And it's okay that you didn't find food. We can hunt after all" he added and nodded. "For our current situation we're doing pretty good I suppose" Jean let out.

 

Marco remained silent. Jean was right after all. They were pretty lucky when both of them were still alive.

 

"Don't you think?" Jean asked and turned his face towards Marco. "I mean, my leg's pretty much crap and will look ugly, and you still have your back sealed and we don't even have something to sleep on, but we're doing good" he said.

 

Marco chuckled slightly and grinned. "Yeah it's true we're doing good" he repeated nodding his head to Jean.

 

Jean grinned as well. It got dark and kinda cold so Jean quickly put on the new clothes. Even a jacket was there. "We're so lucky" he said. Jean looked up at Marco. "I know this doesn't look much to uh you" he said a bit awkwardly.

 

Alert awkward situation. Marco looked away and ran a hand in his messy hair. "Well, if you say it is much then it is" he replied trying to learn quick.

 

Jean didn't intend this to turn out awkward. He scratched his neck. "Uhm yeah it is. I had days I couldn't wear nothing but pants and a simple t-shirt when it was snowing outside" he said. "But the snow, the snow was beautiful and pretty awesome" he added. Jean could tell so much about his life after the apocalypse.

 

"It's -uhm... I don't know if I should tell you 'It's awful, man' or 'You survived, that's just how amazing you are'" Marco replied slightly chuckling.

 

Jean blushed a bit by the word 'amazing'. "Yeah I survived. And I'm hella glad I did until now" he replied and brought his knees to his chest.

 

"I'm glad you did" Marco replied pointing his tongue out. It was a bit funny to mess with Jean but maybe Marco shouldn't do this too much.

 

Jean chuckled and bumped Marco's shoulder. Jean laid his head against the wall. It was weird how they were acting now after they tortured themselves to come here.

 

Jean's chuckles were always good to hear. Marco finally relaxed and laid down too. It has been a long day again and some rest would be welcomed.

 

Jean glanced at Marco before he laid down as well. This was already the third hiding place they had. But Jean felt surprisingly good. Except for his leg of course.

 

Marco started to drift off quickly but somehow he wanted to stay awake, chatting with Jean maybe. He would love that. Talking about little things.

 

Jean wasn't that sleepy surprisingly. But he should try to find sleep anyway. "Uhm can we stay a bit longer here? Not for that long, maybe a day more?" he asked.

 

Marco looked up to Jean and asked in return "Do you really need to ask ? Of course we can stay even a few days if nothing comes up".

 

Jean sighed in relief. "Good" he said and smiled slightly. "Hopefully we get some more luck this time" he added and turned his face towards Marco.

 

"Yeah" Marco replied grinning. It'd be good to stay far from any zombies.

 

"So uhm do you wanna sleep just yet? I don't know I'm not that sleepy at the moment and uh we could use this calm night to talk a bit. I still don't know much what my best friend did after we separated" Jean said and laid on the side. Fuck, he nearly forgot that maybe it wasn't the best for Marco to talk about the past...

 

Marco tensed up at that. He gulped and replied slowly "I'm ok to talk a bit but... what if you tell me about you instead ?". It was still easier this way. Maybe one day Marco would explain how he managed to live through the apocalypse to his best friend but not tonight. It was the same problem. Marco refused to stain Jean with his rotten self. He needed to turn this page. Tear it and burn it.

 

"Sorry" Jean quickly murmured as he saw how Marco reacted. He didn't mean to. He didn't want to force Marco to tell him about his experience with the apocalypse. "So uh about me? Huh I don't know where to begin" Jean said and looked up again.

 

"It's good, don't worry" Marco replied smiling gently to Jean. "From the start ?" he then proposed chuckling lightly.


	14. Story time and coming out

   
Jean chuckled too. "From the start then... Well after we got separated it was pretty much just crazy. I just ran and tried to survive somehow. It was pretty tough though I mean no one was used to live like this right? And god I felt terrible because I couldn't save you and our friends. But yeah somehow I got through. Then winter came and I was pretty much starving. A group found me laying on the ground. I can be glad they were nice people. So I got to my first group" Jean began. It was a bit weird talking about his experiences, but it was nothing bad.

 

Marco listened truly interested. So Jean had it tough too. Starving for months, Marco went through it as well.

 

"They really were nice people. An old couple, they have had a bakery. You could say they were the perfect grandparents" Jean said and chuckled. "Then there were those twins, a bit older than me. A woman who was the best at shooting, I tell you. Luckily she taught me how to use guns and everything. It was hard though to shoot down my first zombie" he continued. He remembered pretty much the feelings he had back then.

 

Marco felt overwhelmed with Jean's words. What if... "What if we didn't get separated and I lived all this with you" Marco murmured to himself mostly.

 

Jean looked at Marco. "Maybe it wouldn't have been so hard and lonely like it was" Jean replied and smiled slightly. "So, anyway, I travelled for a few weeks with them. I got enough to eat and grew stronger again. Myself found it odd how to look so skinny, which is normal after starving. Well so I started to feel better. Actually I became the strongest member of the group. Then, on a trip to a better camping place, we encountered another group. They weren't friendly... We fought, but I was the last one standing. I couldn't do anything but flee so they wouldn't get me" he said.

 

Wow. Marco buried his face in his hands. He remembered the first group he attacked and stole from. It flashed before his eyes. He remembered the fear plastered on people's faces. Marco didn't want to dive in the same emotions as yesterday so he just breathed long and deep and looked up to Jean inciting him to continue.

 

"So uhm you could say I was on the run" Jean continued and laughed silently. "Luckily I learned much and it was a lot easier to survive on my own. A few weeks later I met a kid, all alone. She was starving like I was once... So I helped her. We travelled for a long time and found a group with other kids and teens and so on. This was my second group then" he said.

 

"Oh..." Marco said and nodded. It was very interesting and Marco could listen to Jean's whole story even though it would mean speaking all through the night. It was absolutely awful to compare Jean's story with his because for each single thing Jean did well, Marco did something bad. Worst than bad. But he wanted to hear it all.

 

"Do you still want me to continue?" Jean asked chuckling and looked at Marco. He was already talking much. He could go on, just if Marco was interested in it.  
 

"Sure" Marco replied smiling. Anyways everything about Jean was interesting. And Marco should just lock up his own lamentation for later.

 

"Okay so uh this group was more large. They lived in a biiig cave, lots of tunnels and everything" he said. "This was like so cool. And they were the perfect hunters. There I learned to master my hunting skills" he said and laid his hands behind his head.

 

"You basically learned a new skill in each group, huh ? When did you learn to cook so well ?" Marco asked lightly.

 

Jean blushed a bit by Marco's question. "Uhm I never learned it anywhere, you could say I always was good at cooking, I don't know" he replied honestly.

 

"I don't remember ever tasting your cooking before the apocalypse" Marco said almost smirking. But he ate sometimes at Jean's and his mom was a amazing cook herself.

 

"That's because my mom was always cooking" Jean said and grinned. "I never cooked for others. I don't know I didn't think it was the manliest thing to do" he said. Yeah his mom... She was the best cook in the world. It was sad though that he didn't know if she died and when and how.

 

"But I wasn't the manliest of your friends y'know, I wouldn't have judge you" Marco added chuckling a little then smiled in return.

 

"But you're the most important one" Jean simply replied. "Maybe you wouldn't have judged me, but what if you did? I'd have lost my best friend. I know this sounds super dramatic but come on we were kids" Jean said and laughed a bit.

 

Ooh. This weird thing in Marco's chest was continuing to melt slowly. Talking lightly together just like this remembered Marco how close Jean and him were when they were little. And it was.. very close. "I wouldn't have" Marco replied daydreaming somehow about the past.

 

Jean smiled and looked at Marco. "I'm glad to hear that. Well now I'm glad I can cook. Otherwise I'd have to eat raw meat" he said.

 

Marco made a grimace of disgust and chuckled. "I'm more than glad that I get to eat your cooking" Marco added still laughing softly.

 

Jean blushed a bit. Marco laughing like this was so adorable. "Well it's not like I can cook a five star menu with the things we have. But I promise when we'll get the chance I cook the best meal ever for you" he said and grinned.

 

Marco turned to Jean smiling. "Promise ?" he repeated to make it more solemn.

 

Jean smiled as well. "Promise." Jean didn't know why, but somehow this promise felt special. It was special, kinda. "So do you already have enough of my stories?" Jean asked and grinned again.

 

Marco was happy. Like he rarely has been since a long time. "Never. Tell me more" he said as he turned over to lay on his stomach and stood on his elbows grinning.

 

Jean laughed and scratched his neck as Marco laid on his stomach and looked like a kid who was enjoying a good night story. "Okay uh where was I... Yeah. Uhm so our group was doing pretty good. We didn't have any bad encounter with other groups. But one day, the little girl I met got bitten by a zombie. We didn't know, but she turned into one of those things. It was already too late and she infected more of our group... Only me and two other were left. We had to shoot them" Jean explained.

 

Tough. Jean must have done a lot of sacrifices. Marco nodded regaining a serious face now.

 

"So uh after that we continued traveling on our own. One of us died on the way because he got sick. We found another group and got members. But this didn't last long too they started arguing and well I wandered around alone again" Jean continued and looked up again. "I was with so many groups and got to so many places... But I never was with a group for long, I'm still not the best at making friends."

 

Marco offered a gentle but sad smile. A lot of 'what if' turned in his head but in the end the past couldn't be changed. What if we never got separated was the one coming up the most. Marco hesitated but ended by asking nevertheless "What.. What were you doing when my men, well uhm the men of- you know.. when they captured you ?"

 

Jean was a bit surprised by Marco's question. But well he couldn't scold Marco for that one. "I was with a group again. We were four people. Two adults, a girl and me. We were on our way to the city we're currently heading for. I heard your men and we hid but the girl was scared and made noises... I fought against them but you sent out like 6 people, I couldn't fight all of them. My group was left behind and well I got knocked out so I don't know how far away they brought me. I woke up and was in your base" Jean said and looked at Marco. "But please, don't feel guilty now" he said. He knew Marco would think bad of himself now, but... Please no.

 

"O-Ok" Marco replied unexpectedly weakly. Of course he would feel bad. Of course he felt guilty. He felt rotten to the bones. And this thing in his chest turned cold again in this instant. But he'd keep his regretful past and actions to himself for now.

 

Jean stretched his arm but quickly put it down again. He couldn't just caress Marco's cheek to make him feel better. That'd be way to awkward. Jean looked at Marco. "If something's wrong or bothering you, please tell me. You don't have to but you can tell me anything, okay?" Jean said before he turned around. Somehow the mood to tell stories was gone. Why did Marco ask that. He knew the answer would be no good to his freckled friend. And Jean hated that he couldn't do anything about it.

 

Marco sniffled and replied trying to be more cheerful "N-no it's ok. I- will change and- maybe things will get easier to accept. I am -glad they found you anyways. But if... If I found you sooner-". It was really hard to put a strong face now that the ice inside his chest shattered.

 

Jean turned his face towards Marco as this one started sniffling. Jean sighed. "I know it's hard for you. You can't change what happened. But please Marco you're with your best friend, if you feel bad or something like this you can come to me okay? You don't have to act all tough" he said. Jean just wanted to hug Marco and comfort him.

 

Marco turned his head and nodded though he couldn't let out in words what he felt for Jean. He hoped an instant he could just hug Jean and spend the night locked together in each other's arms.

 

"I know what it's like to be alone. If something's bothering you, you should have someone to talk. So, if somethings the matter or you're asking for a favor, you can always come to your best friend" Jean said and smiled before he turned on his back again.

 

"Thank you Jean.." Marco replied slowly with his voice steadier now. He then sat and added "The same goes for you. I'm here now". It was important to say somehow.

 

Jean smiled. "I know. And I'm glad you are" Jean said and closed his eyes. "More than you think..." he murmured to himself. "So anyway uh I guess we should sleep a bit. We both need rest" he suggested.

 

Marco smiled a bit in return. "Yeah... Good night, Jean" he said softly and laid on his side to sleep. It wasn't comfy on the hard ground but somehow it was ok. It was warm around them despite the cold night.

 

"Good night" Jean replied. Both of them fell asleep quickly. They slept for long but Jean was Jean. His leg wasn't healed yet but he got no more fever and that was the OK for his body to move. Jean was snoring loudly and satisfied and well he moved. In a bed he would have fallen of it by now. So as the sun started showing, Jean's good leg was somehow unhealthy entwisted with Marco's legs, one of Jean's arms was spread out to the other side and Jean himself laid with his head way too close to Marco's, while his body was forming like a C or something like that.

 

Marco slept so long and deeply what more but he woke up because of... Something was pressing on his side and something else, hot and regular, blowing gently in his neck. It felt good so Marco refused to open his eyes and stayed just this way, scooting closer to where the warmth came from. And ended sleeping again.

 

Jean was active in his sleep, that was for sure. And because he was, it was hard to wake him up by noises or movements. He could wake up by himself easily or by a person trying to wake him. But, for example, if he fell out of bed Jean would just continue sleeping, so he didn't wake up as Marco moved. This sure would turn out awkward though when they woke up...

 

Marco went even closer, dangerously close and ended up hugging Jean in his sleep. Shit, THIS would be awkward. And slowly Marco opened his eye to finally see what was struggling gently between his arms.

 

As Jean got hugged, he furrowed his eyebrows and moved some more. He finally woke up. He opened his eyes - and stared directly into Marco's eye. Jean looked down at them and then back at Marco. He grew incredibly red and backed up. He got stopped by his leg twisted with Marco's. "Shit shit shit sorry!" Jean murmured as he finally got free.

 

Why was Jean in his arms ? Was he dreaming ? Marco's first thoughts turned this way but then Jean panicked and it proved this was real. Marco would lie if he said he didn't become bright red as well though he couldn't help but laugh heartily when Jean tried to untwist their legs. "Sorry, I think it's me" Marco said just after as he calmed his chuckling.

 

Jean blushed even more when Marco started laughing. "No I always move in my sleep" Jean said and scratched his neck. His heart was beating way too fast. It was not like he wouldn't like to wake up in Marco's arms, but this way it was just awkward. "I'm so sorry" he said again. Jean ran a hand through his hair.

 

"Don't worry man" Marco replied starting to laugh softly again. "Not like I'll stop being your best friend because you moved and I ended hugging you. Will you ?" he asked still amused. But how Marco would love waking with Jean in his arms like l-lovers do. Just the thought made him a bit red on the cheeks.

 

Jean sighed and looked at Marco as this one started laughing again. It was so embarrassing. At least Marco was not mad at him. "I know it's just- it wasn't on p-purpose okay" he said. This whole situation was too embarrassing for Jean right now.

 

"Huhum" Marco hummed as he nodded. "No but seriously it's okay. I kind of liked it y'know ?" -Okay so Marco really decided to dig his own grave ?- he replied smiling. It was very bold of him and he finally realized he enjoyed teasing Jean because of the cute reactions he got in return.

 

Jean stopped for a moment in his panicking. Marco hadn't disliked it? But this answer made it even worse. Jean probably was red as a tomato. Why was he reacting like that, it was so unusual. "At least I'm not hated now" he just murmured and scratched his neck again. "So you like hugging people like a pillow?" Jean countered grinning, the only thing he could do to hide his embarrassment.

 

"You're not" Marco replied smiling slightly as he by chance heard Jean. But he had to think then with Jean's question. "Oh ? Well I suppose I do" he started and added chuckling "not that I ever had someone to use as a pillow in these times".

 

Jean sat up normally and leaned against the cold wall. It calmed him down a bit. Did they sleep the entire night like this? Jean looked at Marco again. "So the powerful Marco had no girl by his side all the time?" Jean asked and pointed out his tongue. What was he doing, he knew he didn't stand a chance anyway.

 

Why was Marco even acting embarrassed for now ? He cleared his throat first and looked up to see Jean's face. "I... No. No one" he said looking away. 'I had someone else in my frozen heart all this time' he thought. This exact someone was sleeping in his arms a minute ago.

 

Jean started grinning. He knew Marco. "I don't know you're acting pretty suspicious~" he said and crossed his arms. Now he could pay Marco back for the teasing a minute ago. "Come on I'm sure someone like you had a girlfriend" he added.

 

So Marco was acting suspicious ? Maybe because the one he loved was basically right in front of him. Marco ran a hand in his hair and tried to replied the most honestly possible for now.  
"I-I'm not, uhm, into girls. Yeah erm you could say that" he replied embarrassed as fuck this time and tugging nervously at his own roots.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows in surprise by Marco's reply. "Wait, you too??" Jean asked. He was so stunned right now. Marco wasn't into girls? This- Jean couldn't believe it. That meant he kinda had a chance to- no. Maybe Marco was gay, but that didn't mean he'd go for someone like Jean. Especially because they were best friends.

 

"What ?" Marco asked confused. He felt like he missed a chapter just there. He released his hair and looked still confused at Jean.

 

"What what?" Jean asked now confused as well. What... exactly was going on right now?

 

Marco replied "When you say.. You too. What- it means, you-". It was so strange and awkward. Marco started to grow a bit red again.

 

Jean scratched his neck again. "Oh uh yeah, I'm gay. Nothing wrong with that, right?" Jean said. Jean could say that, it didn't matter anyway in times like these.

 

"'f course n-n-not" Marco horribly stuttered. He was so red he thought his head was exploding in slowmotion.

 

Now Marco was the one red as a tomato. Why? As Marco said, there was nothing wrong with it. "Don't worry I won't say anything I mean- I'm gay too why should I bully you or anything. Even if I wasn't you're my best friend so uh yeah" Jean said. He thought that Marco was reacting like this because of that reason.

 

"No ! No it's not- not what I thought. -bullying. Erm I think I'm gonna -hunt something for breakfast or huh well I'm back in no time" Marco stuttered quickly again trying to escape the situation. He needed to think. To calm his steaming brain and pounding heart. Why was he reacting so much to this ? Jean was gay. Right. Maybe... was he- Maybe Marco had a few chances to be his type.

 

Jean raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Okay, do that. But like always please be careful" Jean said and smiled. He would be glad too to just be for himself. First waking up like this and now Marco stated he was gay as well?? There was too much going on this morning.

 

Marco nodded in return and stood. He tried hard to calm the redness of his face. And Jean was smiling again. It was beautiful.  
Eventually after stepping on his own feet and dropping his knife a few times, Marco went hunting. It was more grey today in the sky, maybe it would rain soon.

 

Jean calmed down quickly when Marco went hunting. For a moment he recalled the feeling he had before he had realized had slept in Marco's arms. Somehow it had felt... Good. Like really good.  
While Marco was hunting, Jean prepared a fire again. It got colder day by day. But that was normal, it slowly turned winter after all... Hopefully it wouldn't start to snow the next days. They were in the mountains after all.  
 


	15. Story time continues...

    
Marco came back unharmed, a rabbit caught in his left hand. This would do for the day. Jean had already prepared a fire and it was Marco's turn to appreciate the domestic feeling. He sat next to Jean the time to rest a bit. No joke but this rabbit has been hard to catch when Marco was still recovering from yesterday's long march.

 

"Cool you got one!" Jean said and smiled. They quickly prepared the food. "It's harder to hunt higher in the mountains, isn't it?" Jean said and looked at Marco.

 

"Yes it is" Marco replied light hearted and started to eat after he offered a smile to Jean.

 

"But we could do worse. Actually we're doing pretty good now. One or two days more of rest and I can walk better and we can continue our journey" he said. "The food seems to be ready" he said as he prepared their meals.

 

After they ate it started to get colder without the sun showing up in the sky. They couldn't do much but stay close to the fire waiting.

 

It sure got colder. But by now they were fine. "Hopefully it won't start snowing" he said.

 

Marco got slightly startled just because they didn't talk much till Jean spoke. "Sorry for asking but how... How did you live during the past winters ?" Marco asked quite prudent. But once again advices were always welcomed.

 

"Me? Uh well it was always hard I nearly froze sometimes. But I had uh others and thick winter clothes" he explained and chuckled. "What about you?" Jean asked.

 

"We're just us two and have not thick clothes" Marco replied stating the obvious. Marco remembered his last winters. "I...I was in the basement-" he started but he couldn't just tell he spent the cold days almost comfortably inside when Jean said he spent it freezing outside.

 

"I know" Jean said a bit grumpily. He knew the next days wouldn't be that comfortable... "Yeah I guess a basement is much more useful than a van, a cave or a tent" Jean replied and chuckled. He looked at Marco. "This doesn't belong to the topic, but... Can I ask how this happened? Just curious" Jean said and pointed at Marco's eyepatch.

 

Marco gulped and replied chuckling as he pointed his eyepatch "This ? Well, once upon a time I fell down the stairs and hit my face flat on the floor. Somehow I lose my eye". He knew a bad joke wouldn't be satisfying for Jean. But it was really hard for Marco to talk about it. Since Jean was Jean, Marco decided he could do it. "When I first fought with a zombie I was as weak as you know I was before we got separated and... It was so hard for me. I refused to die like the weak child I was should have, but I couldn't do much. The time to find something sharp enough to harm the zombie, two more of them had joined and ...I got the first one but needed to flee and fast because I couldn't smash down the two others. The uglier ran after me for miles I swear and then I fell. He was ready to eat my head it was simply traumatizing... He reached for my face and grabbed me here" he explained and pointed the right side of his face "I screamed and cried and finally hit him with a rock that was there next to my pinned body. His ugly head exploded and smelling blood splattered on my body while his hand slowly let go and released my face. It was the most painful and disgusting feeling of my life". Marco breathed slowly and finished to say "I was more than lucky it didn't get infected. My eye was wasted but the rest of my face healed by three months. Now I'm used to it. I survived and it's strange but when I started with my group, the guys were more open to let me lead with this scar, here".

 

Jean raised an eyebrow when Marco started with a joke but he let out a little chuckle. Then Marco explained it more seriously. Jean listened to every word Marco spoke carefully. As to Jean a lot happened to Marco as well as they got separated. After Marco finished, Jean scratched his neck. "Man, I'm sorry, that sounds awful. But you made it. And you look pretty badass now" Jean said and grinned trying to lighten the mood. Maybe Marco didn't feel so good because of that story. Maybe. But Jean learned some more about Marco's time during the apocalypse, and that was a pretty good thing. Jean was glad Marco told him at least a little bit.

 

God knows why, Marco blushed a bit embarrassed as Jean called him 'badass'. Things sure changed because Jean always has been the badass one, then and now.   
"You had it worst..." Marco replied but gently.  
He thought, not sure of saying and doing it but finally asked Jean "Do you want to see it ? I mean, without the patch". Marco was okay to show it but it was to Jean and everything concerning Jean made him act a bit different.

 

It didn't suit Marco much, this 'badass thingy', but he really looked way more tough than before the apocalypse. Jean was a bit surprised when Marco offered to show him what was underneath the eye patch. "You don't have to do this" Jean said. He didn't want Marco to feel forced to show it.

 

Marco tried hard to steady his voice and not stutter. He didn't succeed "I-I can show- I'm used to it by now but.. The question is- if you want. To see. Or not".

 

'I want to see all of you' Jean could have said. Well, he did want to. But he couldn't just say that to his best friend. No homo. "Sure I'm curious but that's probably a pretty private thing and when you're uncomfortable with it, you don't have to" Jean said and smiled. Jean would probably try to hide it. But Jean was Jean.

 

Marco asked one last time "Do you want to see it ?" in the gentlest voice he could gather now. On his part he was ok to show it one more time. Most of his men already had seen it in the past. Though Marco himself rarely had to see what the scar was like. He felt so strange and awful the seldom times he had. 

 

"Yeah" Jean replied. He didn't even know why he wanted to see it. Maybe it brought him a little bit closer to the Marco from the present. Jean would know a bit more of this Marco.

 

Marco nodded and scooted closer to Jean. He lowered his head just the time to undo the knot of the eye patch. He took it off and noticed his fingers were slightly shaking. What if Jean found it as disgusting as Marco thought it was ? He swallowed quickly and lifted up his face with a smile on it. Was this smile forced or genuine, he couldn't tell. It wasn't more than a scar but Marco suddenly felt like showing all his destroyed, weak and rotten insides to Jean. Something that was usually hidden by some ways.

 

Jean really hoped this was okay with Marco. Jean of course noticed Marco's hands slightly shaking. The eyepatch removed Marco looked up and smiled a bit. It was somehow weird to see his best friend like this, the best friend which has been the nicest person on earth. Jean would pay for it, but his hand reached out. He touched the scar the slightest possible. "It doesn't hurt anymore, right?" he asked as he backed up again. He then smiled at Marco. "See, you look so badass" he said and bumped Marco's shoulder. Of course Jean didn't have a problem with Marco's eye or felt disgust. Marco was perfect anyways, something like that didn't matter at all.

 

Marco stayed still and flinched the slightest when Jean reached for it and barely touched it. Of course it didn't hurt. It almost seemed to heal again under Jean's fingertips. Marco shook his head as Jean asked if it hurt and backed up. Jean's smile was giving him life. It was beautiful and needed. "If you say so.." Marco replied chuckling softly as he ran a hand in his hair with unconsciously trembling fingers.

 

"Yeah I say so" Jean said and grinned confidently. Jean noticed Marco's trembling fingers. "did you... think I would back off and be disgusted or why are you nervous?" Jean asked.

 

Marco looked up straight into Jean's eyes, surprised. He then looked away and replied almost too silently "well... Yes, quite exactly what you said".

 

Jean was surprised that he guessed right. That wasn't the case usually... "Well then you can relax. As if that changes my sight of my best friend" Jean replied and chuckled. "You can put it back on if you feel better then" he said. Jean looked to the outside. The sky was strangely white and grey. It would snow for sure. Jean didn't know if they should risk trying to find a better place. Maybe tomorrow, Jean still wasn't sure if he could walk good enough.

 

Marco relaxed finally. He thanked mentally Jean to have reacted so well to this. Marco knotted it back and looked up. In fact, yes, it was easier for him. He felt covered at least. "What is it ?" Marco asked while Jean was looking outside and seemed to think hard.

 

Jean looked back at Marco as this one spoke up. "It will start snowing soon and I thought; would it be too risky to go and search for a better place before it starts snowing or not? But what if we don't find something in time... We would freeze to death outside and we'd be way too slow to make it out alive. We should stay here" Jean said kinda speaking out his thoughts.

 

Marco wanted to speak but Jean voiced his thoughts in the end. They couldn't be so lucky as to find a better place in the day. "We should stay here" Marco repeated as he nodded.

 

Jean leaned back a bit. "Let us just hope the snowfall won't be too heavy and it won't be too cold. We should let the fire keep going. I- I can try to gather sticks" Jean offered. He wanted to be useful. But it was a stupid idea, Jean still couldn't walk properly.

 

Marco shook his head strongly. "Sorry but you're resting for now" Marco replied and added a smile. He didn't want Jean to think Marco was ordering him. Marco just wanted the best for his best friend. It was still clear enough outside so Marco covered himself the best he could and went to grab some wood. He didn't go far, almost so that Jean could still spot him from their shelter all along. He came back with hopefully enough wood for the night and sat starting to rub his hands together. Three days ago it was still sunny and warm. They sure were high in the mountains now.

 

Jean pouted when Marco went outside. He knew he was acting stupid, but for Jean it was so hard not to do anything. To be useless. Marco came back pretty quick with hopefully enough wood. "Is it much cold?" Jean asked as Marco started rubbing his hands together.

 

"Surprisingly much" Marco replied. He then stuffed the fire with some more wood.

 

Jean sighed silently. This night would probably be a tough one. At one point, Marco had it easier because he seemed to be more fed than Jean and probably had more fat to keep him from freezing (not that Marco was fat though his body was marvelous), and Jean had not, but Jean was used to cold winters, Marco was not.

 

"Is it... this tough ? 'Cold nights" Marco asked almost worried now. Jean seemed very cautious about it.

 

"You really had it comfy the winters huh you lucky bastard" Jean said and chuckled. "Kidding" he added quickly. Never ever he would mock Marco for real. "It can be. I guess you will see then... But maybe the luck's on our side and it won't get that cold" he explained and tried to show an encouraging smile.

 

Marco felt bad a second but Jean made the feeling melt away not surprisingly. "Anyway we'll surely find a way to warm up" Marco replied without really knowing what could warm yourself up through a freezing night.

 

"We will" Jean replied and smiled. Well, actually, this was a lie. Jean had absolutely no idea how to keep himself warm. But Jean did survive winter every time now, so he sure would get creative if needed.

 

Winters seemed to be a totally different experience here, outside, than what Marco had ever known. He instinctively sat closer to the fire, and Jean by the way.

 

Jean looked into the flames. "We should have kept the fur from the animals you are always hunting" Jean said and sighed before he laughed slightly. He leaned against the wall. "But the winter won't get us. We're Marco and Jean after all" he said and grinned confidently even though he didn't know himself what he meant.

 

"Right... Let's keep it from now on if it's necessary" Marco first said then laughed almost too loud because of Jean's comment. Jean was such a dork. But a lovely one from Marco's point of view.

 

Jean turned his head towards Marco. "Why are you laughing?" Jean asked pretty curious. It was odd that Marco laughed that loud. It could be louder though.

 

"You- You make it sound like... I dunno 'Batman&Robin fighting the cold (and zombies by the way)' or something like that" Marco replied as he calmed down smiling big.

 

Now Jean was the one laughing. "Now that you say that, it sure did sound like it" Jean agreed. He chuckled. "Are you Batman or Robin then?" Jean asked putting his hands behind his head. They may be in a world full of death and zombies but they seemed safe for now, so why not a little fun talk?

 

"Who would you put me as ?" Marco asked chuckling. "Just curious" he added grinning.

 

Jean raised an eyebrow and grinned. "That's an interesting one. Let's see... As kids I would probably say I'd have been Batman and you Robin, that's obvious. Today... I don't know to be honest" Jean said and chuckled again. "Then I ask you the same."

 

Marco escaped a chuckle as well but agreed. "Today uhm... Well, in terms of body shape and all we're more the other way round but.. I don't know" he replied thinking lightly about it.

 

"Yeah yeah just brag with your perfect body" Jean said. He realized what he just said and grew a bit red. "You can be Batman if you want, I don't mind" Jean said and smiled. Talking like a child would do was somehow... Relaxing.

 

'Couldn't help it, Marco blushed more than Jean did at this point. He smiled shyly (what was an amazing thing by now) in return.

 

Jean looked outside again. He was kinda prepared for the cold, at least mentally, but he wasn't so sure about Marco. Having a big group and all kind of supplies had to be great - Jean could just dream of that - but if you suddenly don't have this luxury anymore... It can be so tough. Jean hoped Marco wouldn't suffer much this night or the nights after. "Tomorrow we should try to find a good hiding place where we can stay a bit longer and are safer from the cold" Jean said

 

"Ok" Marco replied putting his trust in Jean. This latter knew what they should do in these circumstances.

 

Jean didn't know what to do, actually. Okay it was not like he was dumb. He knew his ways to survive, especially during winter, but that didn't mean it had to work for Marco the same it did for Jean. But Jean was probably just overdramatic about it. "Do you have the cream with you?" Jean asked. They had nothing to do except of resting and waiting, so Jean could keep care of his leg in the meantime.

 

Marco looked up briskly. "Huh ? The cream.. Oh yes the cream sorry wait a sec-" he said as he went and took it out of his bag. He held it out to Jean then sat again. A minute after he asked "Could you... take a look at mine after ? My back I mean". Somehow... It was embarrassing and awkward to ask now because well, they were both gays and aware of it now and even though Jean was his best friend was it ok to get topless like this in front of him ? Marco decided he was thinking to much into it and Jean had already seen him bare chest a few time anyway. For now Marco waited for Jean to finish with his own wound.

 

"Thanks man" Jean said and smiled at Marco. He put the cream on his leg. This would turn into a reeeally big scar. Better than loosing the leg though. Jean looked up as Marco spoke. "Sure. It's better not infected, I can't act so cool if you had a fever like you did when I had one" Jean said and chuckled.

 

Marco's cheeks turned pink again. Why was this guy so cool with everything ?? Marco should just stop thinking so much and started living more. He just had two lives (important ones nonetheless) to protect now, he could act less tensed up just as Jean was. "Thanks" he said then started to get his clothes off his back. It was chilly now but he wouldn't stay long like this.

 

Jean really hoped Marco's back was doing okay. He blushed the slightest by the sight of Marco's muscular back. The back has always been one of Jean's weaknesses. Jean examined the stitches and everything and nodded. "It's healing pretty good! It shouldn't open on its own that easily" Jean stated and backed up a bit. "It doesn't hurt that much anymore anyway, right?" Jean asked and smiled. He was glad his freckled friend was alright.

 

Marco smiled gladly too. "It doesn't. Just tense sometimes but it's alright" he replied as he put his shirt back and the rest of his clothes too.

 

"Okay, that's good to hear" Jean said and smiled brightly at Marco. For the current situation they were pretty fine. They chit-chatted a bit during the day, rested and the sun went slowly down. Jean looked outside. Lonely snowflakes were falling down.

 

It was awesomely good to rest and chat with Jean while forgetting about zombies and such but when the night fell and snowflakes started to fall down, things got different. Or not. Marco followed Jean's eyes and looked outside too. "Woah" he voiced softly. For the few ones that were already showing up, they were twinkling in the sky and made the mountains suddenly prettier. Though Marco worked on placing a piece of wood more in the fire. It was indeed getting colder with the night.

 

Jean smiled by Marco's reaction. "It's kinda beautiful, isn't it?" he said and looked at Marco who seemed pretty fascinated about it. In Jean's eyes laid worries, the cold was already feelable. Maybe they had luck and it wouldn't get colder. That would show when the sun was completely gone...

 

"Yeah" Marco replied smiling brightly. The previous Marco loved winter and liked to drag Jean around to play in the snow. They had so much fun together... But for the past years of apocalypse, winter was just a season for him.

 

Marco seemed to enjoy the little snowflakes. Jean glanced at Marco and smiled. The snow got heavier after a bit though and cold wind flew around. Jean's smile faded. "We have to keep the fire going, somehow protecting it" he said and turned around. With enough cold wind the fire wouldn't lit anymore.

 

"Oh ? Do you think stones can be useful ? To build a small wall around it from where the wind comes from" Marco asked pointing at the same time a few stones laying next to them.

 

"Yeah that could be good" Jean said as he searched himself for a way to keep the fire going. It was already pretty cold. Shit.

 

Marco worked on this miniature wall then came back to Jean. "Anything else we can do ?" he asked ready to help in any way.

 

Jean gathered every stick they had. "I don't know, we can't do much more" he said. Jean shovelled his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "Just stay near the fire and we're fine." Hopefully...

 

Marco nodded and sat close to the fire. And close to Jean. Maybe too close but it was a way to stay warm when the night was finally settling and the cold grew stronger.

 

Jean blushed a bit because Marco sat so close to him. But it was okay. Jean sighed. He so wanted a scarf, gloves and a hat. But he didn't have any of this. Marco neither. But for now, sitting by the fire, it was okay for now. "Are you cold?" Jean asked just to be sure.

 

Marco stared into the flames. He was tired... "I'm ok for now. You ?" he asked in return.

 

"Yeah me too" Jean said. He leaned back and closed his eyes for a second. Jean made it through every winter but geez how he hated the cold. In their early years together Marco has always been the one dragging Jean outside during winter, otherwise he would have stayed inside 24/7. Jean chuckled slightly.

 

"What is it ?" Marco asked chuckling too when Jean did and turned his eyes to him. But Marco got struck by the sight of Jean's eyes when he opened them again. Simply put, flames, stars and snowflakes were reflected in it and it was the most beautiful things he ever saw.

 

Jean looked at Marco as this one asked. "You know now we're outside during winter and everything... I just remembered how it was back then. God you were so stubborn to get me outside in the snow. And you managed every time to get me" Jean said and laughed slightly. Jean's hands were slightly shaking. There wasn't much fat on his fingers, so he held them as close to the flames as possible.

 

Marco smiled daydreaming of their past days together. "Thank you. I had a lot of fun back then thanks to you" he replied softly.  
Marco kept an eye on Jean's hands. An inch more and they'd be IN the fire.

 

"You're thanking me now for that?" Jean asked and chuckled. "I had too. Well you as my only friend did a pretty good job" he replied and chuckled again. Jean looked back at his hands. "You should sleep a bit if you're tired" Jean said. Marco looked tired, if he was Jean didn't know. But well he was concerned about his freckled friend.

 

"O-Ok" Marco replied as he took his eye off of Jean's slightly trembling hands. "Be careful. Fighting the infection, your defenses got a lot weaker. It'll be harder to resist against the cold" he said flatly but still worried about Jean. He laid down on his side and closed his eye. He was tired, that was undeniable.

 

"What are you, a nurse?" Jean said and chuckled. "I know, I'll be careful. Try to curl up to a ball or something... You need the warmth of your body" Jean gave the advice and turned back to the fire. It was good when Marco would find some sleep. He wouldn't notice then when it got colder.

 

Marco chuckled, his eye closed when Jean called him a nurse. He curled up as Jean said but Jean didn't precise to curl around his side though Marco did. It was the comfiest position for now and gathered the most of warmth.

 

Jean looked at Marco as this one curled around. Jean's cheeks grew pretty red and he looked away. Geez when Marco was sleeping like this Jean wanted to just touch Marco's cheeks and cuddle him to death. Not real death of course. Marco looked just so adorable in this exact moment. Time went by and Marco didn't wake up. That was a good thing, because it got colder and colder. Jean started shaking and freezing pretty soon. He had it hard to keep the fire going for Marco and him, his hands couldn't do that much anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Loving you much, readers ❤


	16. The freezing cold

It got colder and colder as the hours passed. Marco curled up more by each hours and woke up slowly when he felt what he was grasping at was shaking noticeably. "J-Jean ?" he asked in a sleepy voice. He opened his eye to see that what was shaking was Jean himself.

 

Jean looked down at Marco - who was pretty much curled up by now - as this one called for him. Jean sighed. He really had wished Marco would continue sleeping. "H-Hey, try to s-sleep some more" he said. "I'll keep t-the fire going" Jean said and put another stick into the flames. The fire wasn't doing that much because of the wind.

 

Marco had a hard time sitting but he did and said "Try to sleep for now, I'll take care of the fire. I got enough rest, your turn".

 

"Are you s-sure?" Jean asked looking worried at Marco. "Okay" he said and laid down. He curled up as much as possible. Jean tried to sleep, but it was just too cold.

 

Marco smiled poorly at him. It was obvious Jean suffered the cold more than Marco did. It was almost painful to see when Marco was almost freezing himself. "Come closer" he said slowly while pushing Jean, well the ball Jean was now, it was just how much he was curled up on himself, closer to his side. It was strange because Marco was acting like... a mother ? Something like this. It was impossible but if he could just hold Jean in his arms to keep him from the cold then he would do.

 

Why was Jean always the one suffering? Well not that he wanted Marco to suffer, but why did he have it so hard? Jean looked slightly up when Marco spoke up. Jean got pulled closer to Marco. Marco was a bit warmer than Jean so he didn't hesitate long to snuggle more onto Marco. He didn't say a thing, he was just freezing and that was all Jean could think of.

 

"Good" Marco murmured. He hoped Jean would warm up a bit. Marco started rubbing Jean's back a bit as this one tried to sleep. Marco hoped the friction would warm him the slightest.

 

Jean was pretty clingy right now, more a dog than a human or something like that. And it felt extremely nice in Marco's arms. Tomorrow Jean would be like so embarrassed because he acted so weak now. With that in mind Jean tried to fall asleep,pressing himself against the warmth.

 

Despite the biting cold and the fact he shouldn't hold his best friend in his arms, Marco felt warmer inside as Jean snuggled there. Marco added a few sticks more in the fire and relaxed to let Jean sleep calmly.

 

Finally Jean fell asleep even though it was hard. Maybe tomorrow he could use the excuse that in cold winter it was effective to warm each other. Yeah that was a good excuse and Marco wouldn't question if Jean pretty much liked it in his best friend's arms.

 

Slowly the sun rose and the cold slooowly melted away. Jean was still in Marco arms by the time, sleeping. And Marco couldn't say he didn't like it. He even started thinking "why not ?" what if Marco confessed and... Oh shit it sounded so childish. Nowadays, when people their age liked each other they spent the night together and... It was worst ! Marco blushed furiously knowing he shouldn't but the thought of a night with Jean when this latter was grasping around Marco's waist sleeping innocently...

 

Jean really slept the few hours before dawn without waking up. He did then at some point as the sun was up, but he let his eyes closed because wherever he was laying was pretty much comfortable...

 

Marco stayed up watching around as the sky grew brighter. They did a clever choice by climbing the mountains, not a zombie was here nor anyone. The risk was to freeze to death now... Marco told himself it was just the time for Jean to recover plenty and they'd climb down after. It wasn't snowing anymore what was a good thing but their fire disappeared a hour ago so it was still very cold.

 

As Jean was completely awake he opened his eyes slowly. Fuck it was so cold. But not as cold as this night. He stretched himself but didn't come very far. Jean looked around. "Mhh why am I laying in your arms?" he said still sleepy.

 

Marco turned so red he felt it burn his cheeks. He breathed in deep and calmed down fast. "G'morning... Ehm, let's say- just tried to keep you warm" he replied more embarrassed than he should be.

 

Jean backed up and made some space between them. Now he blushed as well. "Ah yeah that makes sense. Uhm did I sleep the whole night -uh like this?" Jean asked looking away so Marco wouldn't notice his blush.

 

Marco hid badly his embarrassment under a small chuckle and nodded. "Uhm yes. Don't worry, this way I didn't freeze either" he replied.

 

"I'm sorry if I uh bothered you. In times like these not everyone is sociable" Jean said. He tried to talk so he would calm down again.

 

"Hey, don't worry I said, that's cool" Marco assured again with a small grin.

 

"Okay good" Jean said and smiled. How bad he wanted to fall asleep like this every night. Jean thought if he ever was brave enough to tell Marco. Should he? No it would cause more problems than they already had. "Do you have a plan for today?" Jean asked instead.

 

Ah Jean's smile was warming up Marco's chest quite much. "For today ? No... You should rest some more and I should go hunt something bigger than a rabbit" he said.

 

"Okay... I'll try to lit the fire once again" Jean said and sighed in silence. "Be careful, it's harder to hear someone walking in the snow" Jean said as always and looked back down. Everytime it was the same. He could just sit here and do nothing, while Marco had to go outside and risked to never come back again. Jean clenched a fist. "Marco?".

 

Marco was surprised by the way Jean called his name. "Yes Jean ?" he asked arching one eyebrow.

 

Jean looked up at Marco again but then he looked back down. "Nothing. Just come back okay?" he said. Jean couldn't bring himself to say it. He grabbed sticks and woods and put them all together, before he started making a fire.

 

"I will" Marco replied as... some sort of promise. He wouldn't let Jean alone. Not anymore. Why Marco was thinking so much into it right now ? He let Jean alone a few times already but his best friend sounded different this particular time. "I'll be back" Marco repeated and smiled quite tenderly before he went outside to find some food.  
As he stepped in the unexpectedly heavy snow that fell in one night only, he focused on his surroundings. Jean warned him about it.   
Thinking about Jean, he avoided Marco's eye often since he woke up. It was, well, curious.

 

Jean sighed when Marco was outside once again. Jean wanted to join Marco hunting, protecting each other's back. But he couldn't. It was still freaking cold so Jean hurried preparing the fire. It took its time but after much trying a little flame showed up and grew bigger. "There you are" Jean murmured and sighed in relief. He held out his freezing hands. Now he had to wait. Again. And it was always torture.

 

Marco didn't find anything in two hours... The mountains were empty and all he found was edible roots (beuah) and some plants that contained vitamins. Jean needed to eat. He went farther than he thought he should and ended too close to an unsettled encampment. Marco thought fast and fled on the way back. He was alone, he couldn't risk to get caught while Jean was freezing elsewhere. He came back with what he had. It was a long way back but he made it before midday.

 

Jean waited for Marco. By now he was used to Marco taking his time. But with every time it got harder to let Marco go because Jean was finally spending more and more time with his best friend.   
Marco came back after a while and like Jean thought Marco didn't brough a big animal or something like this "it's normal to find nothing. That's making the winter hard. The cold and no food" Jean said and looked into the fire, kinda avoiding Marco's eyes.

 

Marco was disappointed. He wanted to get something that could feed Jean for real and make his defenses stronger because it was the most important for now. And he didn't and Jean told him it was normal, usual. Marco sat in silence and started to peel the roots. They can boil them or mash it up.   
Jean was avoiding Marco's eyes again. It started to trouble the freckled guy a bit more.

 

Roots for breakfast? Well Jean couldn't expect to get meat on his plate every day. But there was nothing much to eat on the outside than plants, berries or animals. There wasn't just a bag of chips laying in the grass. "Potato chips" Jean began. "Damn I want potato chips, I don't even remember how they taste" Jean said randomly and chuckled. "What did you have in your base?" Jean asked turning his face towards Marco curiously.

 

Marco's face turned something between purple and yellow. He was thinking about how to get energizing food for Jean and this one asked what he once had in his base ? All the things he needed to survive and to save his best friend by the way. And Marco hated himself enough not to despise himself more because he could have bring fucking potato chips with him and he didn't. Marco just remained silent. He was far from angry. It was just sadness and honestly, he was angry against the world in general.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows. "Hey is everything okay?" Jean asked. Marco didn't seem so well anymore. Did Jean say something wrong? Jean sure said something wrong, he was always messing up! "Come on tell me what's wrong" Jean said and scooted a tiny bit closer, looking at Marco.

 

Marco tried not to be hyper aware of Jean next to him, quite close to him. Too close. He looked back because it was the first thing to do and tried to put in order the storm going on in his head. He didn't want to spill his thoughts out so he just replied quietly "I just wish I brought a bag of potato chips with me". And it sounded like the stupidest thing to say but now it was too late Marco said it.

 

Jean snickered when Marco said that. "Geez we don't need potato chips to survive" he said and smiled at Marco. But still Jean wasn't so sure if that really was all. "Are you sure everything's okay?" Jean repeated his question. If Marco was avoiding an answer, he could do what he want. Jean couldn't force Marco to share every secret he had.

 

"Yeah- yeah I'm ok" Marco replied returning to the preparation of their poor meal made of roots. He already caused too much trouble to Jean with his existential problems.

 

"Okay" Jean replied and looked back down. It was okay that Marco didn't want to tell him. It was okay. Jean rubbed his hands together and held them close to the fire again. He really disliked winter and the fucking cold. And Jean felt extremely guilty that because of him they couldn't go on and had to stay here, probably one of the coldest places to be.

 

With that a few minutes later they had something in their plates. Marco handed it to Jean and finally showed a smile. It was weak but sincere. Marco was glad to be here with Jean.

 

"Thanks" Jean said and smiled back at Marco as this one handed him the plate. Jean sighed mentally. Roots it was then huh? Not like he didn't have them before. Jean started eating. It was better than nothing. "Do you think we can go on tomorrow?" he said during their meal and locked eyes with Marco. They shouldn't stay here. But it was risky. Jean clenched his teeth. It was risky because of him, because of his damn leg. He was the one putting Marco in danger.

 

Marco knew it was important. Apparently today was a day for decisions. "After this (breakfast) let's see how you stand, ok with that ?" Marco asked softly. He could sense how much this wounded leg was annoying Jean.

 

Jean looked away again. "Fine" he said. If he still couldn't walk properly they would have to stay here longer, with no hiding from the cold. Jean finished eating fast, it wasn't much after all.

 

Marco put away the food related things and stood up. He offered a hand to Jean with an encouraging smile.

 

Both of them finished. Now it was time huh? Jean looked up at Marco as this one offered a hand to help Jean standing up. Jean looked down and stood up on his own. He trembled and grabbed Marco's hand. Once standing he let go. It was better than yesterday and the days before, it didn't hurt THAT much. But Jean was insecure if it would be enough for leaving the mountains behind them. "See it's totally fine" Jean said.

 

Marco was ABSOLUTELY not letting Jean going like this. "We should stay here at least one more day Jean" he almost pleaded. Jean was trembling on his leg and he apparently wasn't even noticing that.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows and grew bright red because of anger. He wasn't angry at Marco, he was angry at himself. "'At least' one more day?? I don't fucking want to just sit around all the time!" Jean said and clenched a fist. He trembled again and had to sit down. Jean punched the ground. "Damnit" he murmured and looked down. "Give me one day. Just one and we can leave tomorrow" Jean said as he ran a hand through his hair. For someone like Jean it really was awful to just sit around when his friends were putting themselves in danger.

 

Jean's sudden burst of anger certainly startled Marco... "Yeah" Marco replied quietly and sat next to Jean. He could understand what Jean was going on with in himself. "We'll leave tomorrow" he added. And with this encampment Marco spotted then they couldn't stay much longer. And there wasn't enough to eat anymore. He just hoped Jean would be fine by tomorrow and wouldn't force himself too much.

 

Jean looked up, surprised as Marco agreed on going on tomorrow. Jean nodded. No matter if Jean felt better tomorrow or not they would leave this place. There weren't zombies, but animals weren't there either. They couldn't survive long like this. And all Jean wanted was for Marco to survive.

 

"Now please rest still" Marco asked gently. He wanted to have Jean sleeping in his arms again but he could just dream about that. For now that it was less cold thanks to the sun, they could rest almost peacefully. They'd have a lot to do tomorrow. What if they still didn't find food nor a shelter once lower in the mountains.

 

Jean sighed. He didn't want to rest, didn't want to just sit around. But he had to because tomorrow they would probably walk for long. Jean leaned back against the wall. "We'll do better when we're further down, it's worth a try leaving tomorrow" Jean said because Marco seemed a bit unsteady and insecure.

 

"I hope it will" Marco replied quite insecure in fact. It'd be hard to survive anyway no matter where they were.

 

Jean put a hand on Marco's shoulder again. "It will. I'm sure" Jean said and looked directly into Marco's beautiful eye. He then scooted close to the fire again. It wasn't as cold as in the night, but without any winter clothes Jean felt cold.

 

Jean's eyes put Marco at ease. He nodded and ...waited. There wasn't anything to do for now but wait.

 

Jean reached his hands out again close to the fire. "Do we have wood left?" Jean asked his hands shaking the slightest. It wasn't as bad as in the night but the fire needed to be bigger anyways.

 

Marco turned his head towards the small pile of wood. "Only a few sticks left" he replied. It wasn't a good thing, they needed more wood again.

 

Jean clenched his teeth. "I don't want to send you outside again, but we need wood and sticks. Without fire we really will freeze to that, even you" Jean said and looked at his hands. No way Marco would die because of the cold.  
    
"I'll go since it's still bright and calm" Marco said and patted Jean's shoulder to reassure him. "I won't go far" he added then went out with a bag and his usual knife. Marco didn't take long. He came back with all the wood he could have found without getting too far from their shelter. Still it wasn't a lot.

 

Jean looked down once again. He didn't want Marco to leave again. But otherwise they would freeze to death. Marco came back pretty quick this time. It wasn't that much he got but for their last night here it would be just enough.

 

Marco put a few pieces in the fire for now and put the rest on the pile. He sat next to Jean again and asked "Is there anything else we can do ?".

 

Jean shrugged his shoulders. "Survive until tomorrow I guess" he replied. The fire grew a bit bigger and Jean scooted even closer. "I told you it could be hard. I hope you still don't regret your decision to come with me" Jean said loosely.

 

Marco suddenly sat straighter. "Of course I don't !" he replied maybe too directly. He hid his burning cheeks behind his palms and added "I-I mean I'm glad to be with you".

 

Jean's eyes widened a bit in surprise because Marco answered so directly. He blushed as Marco said he was glad to be with Jean. Even if it was meant in a friendly way it sounded so nice. "G-Good, me too" Jean simply replied and avoided Marco's gaze so he could calm down again.

 

Marco calmed down rapidly then asked a bit worried again, same as this morning, "Jean... You've been avoiding looking at my face since you woke up. Is something the matter ?".  
 


	17. Awkward cuddling and moving on

    
Jean looked up at Marco, surprised by his question. "It's nothing" Jean said. He couldn't just tell Marco how he felt !

 

Marco looked back questioning Jean's silence. After all Jean never forced Marco to spill out his thoughts when he didn't want to so Marco didn't have the right to do it.

 

Jean looked back at Marco. "Is something the matter with YOU?" Jean then asked. "I noticed you had that look on your face every time you came back here. Am I looking that weak and miserable to you that I earn this look?" Jean asked calmly. He didn't want to argue with Marco now. But Marco looked like he was worried Jean didn't eat enough or felt too cold or something like this.

 

"I-I would never think that !" Marco replied slightly panicking. "If anything then I'm just worried about you but that's because you are... You're my best friend Jean I don't want you to suffer I'm sure you know that much already" he said putting each words straight.

 

Jean nodded and looked down again. "Okay good. I don't want you to underestimate me" he said and looked back at Marco strongly. "I won't die just like that" he said.

 

"And I don't. I know you're strong" Marco added and held Jean's strong gaze. "I wouldn't let you die just like that... You're not allowed to die with me still by your side" he added pretty serious. 

 

Jean grinned slightly. "It's pretty selfish that you forbid me to die isn't it?" he said and grinned.

 

"You think so ?" Marco replied faking innocence and grinning on his side too.

 

"Yeah it kinda is. But I'd let you forbid that, I trust you" Jean replied and smiled.

 

Marco chuckled lightly and laid back. Oh, he finally could lay on his back that was a good thing ! "I wish things could be so simple" he said and sighed but his smile didn't show off.

 

"And what is 'simple' for you?" Jean asked and looked at Marco, his hands still close to the fire.

 

"Hum ? That what I'd forbid wouldn't happen" Marco replied as he closed his eye a bit. The cold wasn't hard on him for the moment.

 

Jean smiled. "One day we'll be at that point" he said. "One day the apocalypse is over and we can live normal lives. Just imagine living in a house living normally" he told.

 

Marco smiled back. "It'll be great...with you.." Marco murmured as he drifted surprisingly off to sleep.

 

Jean blushed and looked at Marco. "W-what?" he said but he wouldn't get an answer because Marco was already asleep. Jean maybe heard wrong things.

 

Marco slept a moment. Until the sun set actually and all trace of warmth disappeared. He curled up on himself but quickly woke up though. It was colder than yesterday night.

 

Jean was really blushing. Marco didn't really say that right? And if he did, did he mean it... in a romantic way? No way. As if. Jean decided to sleep as well. He curled up at the other side close to the fire.

 

The fire was in bad condition when Marco sat up again. He hurried to light it up and noticed Jean was sleeping deeply. It was a nice and warm sight actually.

 

Jean felt that the fire went slowly out. He was shaking in his sleep again because it was cold. But he didn't wake up of it.

 

Was it hormones or anything else of the sort, Marco had a hard time keeping his feelings for Jean inside today. The thinner guy was trembling in his sleep and Marco couldn't help himself, he scooted closer and started to rub Jean's back slowly to warm him up a bit. He couldn't do more for now.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows as he felt a warm hand on his back. Jean moved in his sleep and grabbed whatever was rubbing his back (Marco's arm) and hugged it tightly because it warm.

 

Marco combusted instantly as Jean grabbed his arm and hugged it tight. ' 'Oh god, when Jean will wake up and notice...' Marco tried to slowly get out of Jean's grip but tried not to wake him at the same time and it was complicate.

 

Jean wasn't even doing it on purpose. His body just grabbed after what was warm and Marco's arm was apparently. He still was shaking though. And his grip was pretty strong too, he was Jean after all. It could be stronger though if he wasn't freezing nor had that problem with his leg.

 

Marco didn't manage to get off of Jean's strong grip so he stayed there and waited for him to wake up...

 

At some point it got too cold and Jean woke up for real. Before he even opened his eyes he let go of Marco's arm. Jean sat up slowly. "Fuck why is it so cold" he murmured still sleepy but freezing.

 

Marco sighed relieved that Jean finally let go of his arm before opening his eyes. Jean wasn't wrong, it was growing colder by the hours.

 

"are you cold?" Jean asked and looked up at Marco. "Well I am" Jean added and scooted closer to the fire again. Just one more night.

 

"Yes I am too" Marco replied and came closer to the fire like Jean . He then realized they didn't have something to cook anymore. "Jean.. Should I get something to eat ?" he asked not knowing himself what he should do about it.

 

"No, it's dark outside let's just wait until tomorrow. We'll quickly eat something and then leave". "The fire itself won't keep us warm" Jean stated. That was a fact. He ran a hand through his hair. Why didn't they have fucking winter clothes? Jean looked up at Marco. "Do you have any idea how we could keep us warm?" Jean asked. Well they could always warm each other but... Jean wasn't brave enough to suggest this.

 

Marco gulped and tried to contain the growing redness of his face. "Well -uhm- you.. You slept well enough last time around me -I mean, ehm you know what I mean so if you want..." Fuck he was totally messing with his words. What was his own point anyway ? 'I just want you in my arms !' that wasn't so complicate to say !

 

"That may be the only way huh" Jean said. He really didn't care anymore if he had to 'cuddle' with Marco. "I don't want to freeze do death and you're my best friend so it's okay right?" Jean asked. Okay now he slowly blushed too. They would actually fall asleep in each others arms then.

 

Marco breathed out and calmed his how amazingly fast heartbeat. Marco, as built and tall as he was, was currently acting like a child around his crush. "R-right" he said in a higher pitch voice. Didn't he have any shame ? Acting so dumb and shy ? But Jean would 'cuddle' with him, that was unexpected at the least.

 

"Yeah" Jean said and looked away. Now it was kinda embarrassing. "So uh you sleepy yet?" Jean asked. Could he just... like... Scoot over to Marco? Fuck that was way too embarrassing Jean couldn't just bring that.

 

Marco laughed brightly then as he realized. "We're ridiculous" he stated as he fell back and laid down sighing heavily but quite happily in fact. He opened his arms in Jean's direction, smiled and said "Come here if you want to". The best way to avoid embarrassing situation was... To deliberately embarrass yourself ? Well, why not, Marco would try that.

 

Jean chuckled. "I know" he said. He blushed immediately but scooted closer. "We better not die tonight" Jean murmured and snuggled against Marco. Was he just really doing this right now?

 

Marco warmed up instantly as Jean snuggled against him. How was this even happening now ? Marco wrapped his arms around Jean and rocked him a little because once again, acting ridiculously was the best was to hide his embarrassment.

 

Once safe in Marco's arms Jean noticed the warmth he immediately got from Marco, so he snuggled into Marco's shirt, trying to find the most warm place. He still was shaking and freezing after all.

 

Jean was snuggling dangerously close to where Marco's chest was pounding furiously. Yes because apparently this thing inside was totally free from ice now despite the cold of the night and Jean was waking it in a strange way. Marco rubbed Jean's back again because this one was really trembling and Marco hoped they could warm up a little more.

 

Jean was pretty much acting like a puppy or something like that. He didn't stop trembling soon but he managed to somehow fall asleep. "You're surprisingly warm for someone feeling cold" Jean murmured before he slightly started snoring. He was feeling way too good in Marco's arms.

 

A smile showed up on Marco's lips as Jean murmured something. Marco hugged him tighter and Jean fell asleep. He stayed awake a moment, still rubbing Jean's back and it was the best moment of his life since a long long very long time.

 

It took his time but Jean's body stopped trembling so much after laying in Marco's arms. This was the second night now Jean was sleeping so close to Marco. He had to be careful not to get used to that good feeling.

 

Marco fell asleep finally. It was so cold and his feet were nearly freezing but the night was calm and it was good. He didn't release Jean even while sleeping and kept hugging him quite tight. They were not trembling anymore. This night Marco dreamed about a lot of things but mostly about Jean. In one of them, Marco was waking up in the comfiest bed ever, the sun high in the sky was shining through the window and lit Jean's sleeping face right in front of Marco.  
He woke up with this image in head and well, he was sleeping on the hard cold ground but Jean was indeed in his arms (however sleeping in the weirdest position) and his calm sleeping face was the most enjoyable for now.

 

Ignoring the fact that this was something friends wouldn't do Jean and Marco did the right thing. Their bodies shaking and trembling because of the cold wasn't good at all. They HAD to do this. To survive. It was simple.   
Jean slept the rest of the night amazingly peaceful. It felt great not to lay on the hard and cold ground for once. As the sun went up Jean slowly woke up. His eyes slowly opening, he saw Marco looking at him. Smiling. Why couldn't Marco smile always like that? It suited him so much better than the bitter face he sometimes had. So things wouldn't get awkward he slowly backed up. "Mornin'" he greeted Marco and smiled. "We're alive that means your idea was worth it" Jean noticed and chuckled. Today was a big day. Marco would go hunting something for them quickly and after they ate they'd go down the mountains. It was too cold here especially without food they couldn't survive long.

 

Jean was unconsciously making Marco smile. It was a thing Marco didn't even realize after the past days they spent glued to each other apart from the times Marco went outside. He smiled more as Jean woke up, talked to him and smiled too. "Good morning" was his first reply. Marco sat up and straightened his clothes a bit. Jean was gripping surprisingly tight in his sleep ! 'I spent one of the most peaceful night of my life so I guess it was worth it" but only the end of his sentence from 'so' was voiced out loud.

 

Jean couldn't deny that he slept good as well. He really did. Jean stretched himself and looked outside. It still was snowy. He looked back at Marco as this one spoke up again. "That's nice to hear. I slept pretty good myself" Jean replied and smiled. "So you should try to find something to eat while I'll gather all our things."

 

Marco smiled and nodded. He hoped he'd get something nutritious today. "Well, I'm going" he said after grabbing his usual stuff and stepping outside.

 

"Okay" Jean replied. He looked at Marco as this one was going outside. "Be careful" Jean said as always.

 

Marco nodded back and went hunting. Miracle or not, he quickly spotted birds that he knocked down with a few arrows. They were big enough to have quite a lot of food to offer. Marco looked around a few minutes more but there wasn't so much. He came back with what he got, glad to have some meat to eat.

 

Jean started packing all their things. Today would be tough. Especially for Jean. He stood up slowly and under groans. He was able to stand on his own. He tried to walk a few steps. It wasn't so painful anymore with Marco's help he'd be fine. Jean looked up as Marco came back. He actually got meat. "Nice!" Jean said.

 

"Yeah right" Marco replied winking. He was glad... He put everything down and asked almost surprised "You packed everything already ?".

 

Jean blushed a bit when Marco winked because it looked kinda sexy. "Yeah. We should cook the food, eat and then go. We don't know after all how long we'll walk" Jean said and grabbed the birds from Marco, preparing everything.

 

Did Jean catch a cold in the end ? Because he was slightly red. Marco frowned a bit worried but Jean was really moving around and all so he must be fine.

 

Jean sat down again - his leg was thanking him - as he started cooking the meat. "Don't you want to sit down? You won't have the chance later" Jean said and smiled at his freckled friend. Inside he was feeling a bit anxious, Marco had this specific look on his face again.

 

"Ok" Marco replied smiling in return and sat. He got this habit to sit maybe too close to Jean but he didn't realize that himself. Marco waited patiently, and finally not long, for Jean to finish the meal.

 

Jean hoped that this look would fade away when Marco saw that Jean was doing better. Just two more days and he hopefully could walk with no problems. He didn't want Marco to look at him like that because he felt pretty weak then. Lost in his thoughts he accidentally burnt his hand a bit. He clenched his teeth so he wouldn't let out a groan which would cause more looks from Marco. Jean finished the rest of cooking fast and handed the half to Marco. "Meat is way better than roots huh" Jean said and grinned. He should probably get a bandage and some snow in it for his hand before they left. But that he would do himself.

 

Marco obviously didn't notice Jean burnt himself otherwise he would have react in the second. But he didn't. He ate happily the food Jean had prepared and it was as good as always. This was still a mystery how Jean could cook so well and easily. Marco appreciated it anyway.

 

Jean glanced at Marco. Good, he didn't notice. Jean finished eating the meal fast. This would spend enough energy for them to walk for a long time. Jean so hoped they would be able to find a really good place to rest. "It'll be hard but we should find a place where we can stay for a bit longer than 3 days to heal properly. Not just a little shelter or a poor cave. We need the rest" Jean said and looked at Marco.

 

'You need the rest' Marco wanted to say and certainly this look Jean accused was painted again over Marco's face. He couldn't help it ! Nonetheless Marco agreed. He asked prudently "What is.. A good shelter ? An abandoned house?".

 

Jean looked down. There was it again. He sighed silently. He looked back up by Marco's question. "Yeah, for example an abandoned house or anything that protects from the cold and had a roof" Jean replied. "We need to get fully better. Your back needs the rest too to heal completely. Especially in winter we can't walk and walk and walk" he explained. Hopefully Marco understood.

 

Marco nodded. "I see" he whispered focused on something far, far in his head. He prayed internally that everything would go right.

 

"Excuse me for a minute" Jean said while Marco was still eating. He quickly grabbed bandages and went outside to fill them with snow. With that he quickly wrapped everything around his hand and nodded. That would do it. Jean walked back to Marco as if nothing happened. "My leg still hurts and I may need your help a bit but I'm good enough to take a longer walk I guess" he informed his freckled friend.

 

Jean was... acting strange. Did he -already have enough of Marco ?? Marco shook his head, he couldn't think like a child right now. Jean was maybe tense because they'd have a lot to walk today. And what Jean said after confirmed a bit what Marco thought. At least in his head. "No problem Jean. You can count on me" he replied half-grinning and stood up. They should go now.

 

Jean smiled at Marco. "I'm glad" he said. Jean packed the leftover they had from the meat and searched his last things together. He handed Marco some things of his, unfortunately with his bandaged hand. Jean looked around. They had everything. "I guess we should go" he said. Marco was probably thinking the same.

 

Marco noticed and maybe even squinted at Jean's hand. "What-" but Jean was already occupied with something else. He'd ask later. Marco replied with a prompt yes and grabbed his things.

 

It was time. They went outside. Jean grabbed his bow, just to be sure. He was strong, he could walk even if it hurt. He didn't want Marco to look at him like this anymore. So Jean would go without Marco's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤ please leave a comment or kudos to let us know how you liked it !


	18. You can rely on me

    
Marco tried to swallow back his worries, they were all for Jean in fact, and walked after him. They didn't crossed the path of anyone for a moment and it was a good thing for now. And the snow was slowing them down.

 

Why was it so hard to walk? Especially sinking into the snow was no good for his leg at all. But he wouldn't show weakness now. They walked for a while like this before they made a little break. "We're still high in the mountains" Jean murmured. He had to get more snow for his hand too.

 

Marco stayed behind Jean, following. They didn't talk and walked certainly too fast for Jean's leg. Marco's worries were growing bigger inside him though he tried to tamp it. This friendly atmosphere they built in the past days wasn't very present today as they walked.

 

Jean sat down on a rock as they took their break. It really was tough to walk so fast and for so long. Jean took the chance and undid the bandage. He leaned down to fill it with snow again. Somehow... The atmosphere around them wasn't that good. And Jean disliked it pretty much, but he didn't really know what to say to break that tense atmosphere.

 

Marco clenched his teeth as he saw, finally saw Jean was injured. It was nothing that bad but something cracked in Marco. "Why haven't you told me ?" he asked. His voice was calm but sharply cold. He didn't even control that.

 

Jean looked up. His eyes widened a bit by Marco's look, it was even worse than this worried one. "I- uh it's nothing big so I didn't say a thing, I don't want you to worry even more" Jean said and looked away. "You shouldn't worry about me" Jean added. Not that he wasn't worrying about Marco himself.

 

Something contracted violently inside Marco. He won't let it at that. "Jean you're my fucking best friend. How do you expect me not to worry about you ??" he started, his voice way louder than before. "How is it, 'even more' ?" he continued. Finally he breathed out his anger in a long sigh and sat down waiting and looking at Jean. The stubborn guy right here in front of Marco needed to redo his bandage and apparently he didn't need Marco to do that.

 

Jean flinched surprised by Marco's voice. He looked up, furrowing his eyebrows. He didn't want to argue with Marco but Marco seemed mad at him. God Jean could punch himself. Jean stopped in his doings and looked at Marco. "I don't expect you to not worry at all I worry about you as well okay but you look at me like I can do nothing!" he replied also raising his voice. He clenched a fist before he hid his face behind his hands, not caring about the burned spot right now. "I hate being injured and I hate even more seeing you going outside every time because I can't and I hate fearing that you couldn't come back okay!" he said. "And when you look at me like that, it's even worse because I know I can't help you then, you have to go risk your life. Is it so wrong that I want to protect my best friend's life??"

 

Marco got caught by Jean's eyes and didn't look away as he listened at what the man had to say. Oh god, Jean and his pride...but Marco could understand. Jean hid his face but Marco kept looking at him. What he said next made everything tingle in Marco. Marco couldn't tell which expression he wore at this moment. It may have been a pretty lost expression. Marco was lost somewhere far and his hand moved on its own to come rest behind Jean's head. "No Jean it's not" Marco replied but here again his voice sounded lost. His thumb was slowly caressing the bottom of Jean's hair. This lasted a moment, Marco's single eye staring curiously at Jean.

 

Jean looked up surprised as Marco started caressing his hair. Jean blushed, and didn't know what to do. "then when it's not wrong why do you sound so pissed!" Jean said, the only thing he could do right now. But if Marco was mad at him, why was he doing this then?

 

Marco came back to reality fast, his eye widened when he noticed where his hand was. He let go softly but returned his gaze to Jean. He cleared his throat and replied "I'm mad because you could rely on me Jean me more. You need to trust me. We'll get nowhere if you can't ask me to help. And I want to help. I want to protect you. There's no way I'd pity you. I thought we were clear about that". What he said sounded like a scolding but it was not. Marco wished Jean could trust him and rely on him more than he was.

 

Jean looked down. "I am trusting you. I really do but-" Jean said but sighed. He knew he was a package full of anger and pride. "It's not easy for me to ask for help" he admitted murmuring. "I'm sorry" he said hiding his face once again behind his hands.

 

Marco sighed long then smiled desperately. Jean was strong and had a strong personality, this wasn't new. The freckled man lifted his hands toward Jean's and retired them from his face. And kept them squeezed in his. "I know it's not easy. I'm glad if I see you try. You'll try Jean ? For me ? Not just asking for help but... Well- ehm" Marco said at first confident then confused by his own words. What was he trying to say again ? It was as if his mind was split in two recently.

 

Jean flinched slightly when Marco took his hands because of the burn. He looked at Marco. Marco really wanted to help him huh? But it was so hard to accept the help. At least it was for Jean. But he nodded. "Okay, I'll try" he murmured. "Now- can you let go? It- it hurts" Jean said looking down at his hand. Not that he didn't like having Marco's hands in his.

 

"Oh shi- Sorry !" Marco replied and hurried to let go. He was even more confused now. Why Marco was acting so weird when it came to Jean ? Was it like that to have a crush on your crush again ? Because it sure looked like that. Marco was always worried about him, wanted him stuck to his sides day and night, wanted to learn all his favorite things and to discover every inch of his body... Oh god now Marco grew super red. He stood up and stuttered "W-w-we should- start to walk a-again".

 

Jean sighed in relief when Marco let go. He grabbed the bandage again and filled it with snow, before he wrapped everything around his hand. Brrr, cold. Jean looked up as Marco started stuttering. Did he get a fever too because he was so red?? Oh please no Jean didn't want Marco to have a fever. But he stood up as well, with a groan. "Yeah we can go ag-" he said but got cut off. In the distance he saw a zombie. Not caring about his leg he quickly pulled Marco next to him and  shoot one of Marco's arrows with the bow. "Okay, now we can go" he said.

 

Marco didn't have time to get lost in his thoughts again. Jean pulled him and Marco heard an arrow fly. God, Jean was fast. Some meters afar the zombie hit the ground. Honestly Marco was glad not to be this zombie and glad of not being Jean's enemy anymore as he was a few weeks before (that was Marco's fault by the way). "Y-yeah" Marco replied and suddenly thought "Your leg's ok ?".

 

Jean couldn't contain a little proud grin as the zombie went down. He still was good at hunting, hah! Jean looked back at Marco. He sighed. He really should try huh? "It's hurting pretty much but I guess we can continue on walking. We have to" he replied.

 

Marco winced though Jean should be the one doing that. He quickly took this expression off and said quietly "hum- thanks for telling me honestly". Marco offered a tiny smile and added "Let's go. Tell me if you need a pause again 'kay ?".

 

Jean looked up at Marco again. "I will" he said. Like that, they continued on walking. Jean walked a bit slower now which reduced already the pain. He walked next to Marco now, having the bow still in hand. The further down they went the higher was the chance of crossing ways with zombies and they really didn't need that now. Please no more drama...

 

Being side by side with Jean was better. Marco could check somehow if Jean was hurting much or not. They walked down slower but they already have walked a lot today and were far by now. Marco didn't recognize very well this area. And lucky as they were, it started to snow again in the middle of the afternoon.

 

The longer they walked, the more his leg hurt. But they really walked so much and were far from their previous shelter. Soon snow started to fall down again. "Can we do a little break again?" Jean asked already stopping. He hated that because of him they had to stop but his leg really needed the break. And as long as they had snow Jean wanted to use it for the burned spot because it was cooling effectively.

 

Marco nodded and smiled trying to encourage Jean. "I'm glad you're doing so good till now" Marco said sincerely, Jean was doing something a lot wouldn't dare to achieve. Marco stayed up looking after their surrounding. Each zombie they met got knocked down in less than 30 seconds, either by Jean or Marco. They were doing good but now they needed to find a shelter for the night.

 

Jean blushed the slightest. "As I said, don't underestimate me" he said. Jean really was a tough one. They were pretty much doing good but it got dark pretty soon. Shit, they didn't even find a place where they could be for more days. This night it would be a simple shelter again huh?

 

Marco chuckled a bit. "I know, I know. Sorry" he said dramatically. Then he asked, because yes he was slightly worried about it "Do you think you can walk some more ? We won't find somewhere to sleep around here...".

 

Jean ran a hand through his hair before he quickly put some more snow on the wound. "Even if I couldn't, we have to walk on. We can't just camp here, we don't have a tent and even with one it's way too dangerous, the snow is making every enemy silent. We're going on" Jean said as he finished. He stood up groaning again. "Okay, come on" he said.

 

Marco passed one of Jean's arm on top of his shoulders and supported him as he can. Before Jean could complain, Marco told him "Let's walk on like this. Look around if there's any danger please".

 

Jean wanted to protest when Marco started supporting him. He grumbled but nodded. "Okay, for now we're good I see nothing dangerous" Jean said looking around. It was a lot easier to walk like this but god Jean really disliked it. It was so hard for him to let Marco help him. Jean just had too much pride. And he so hoped they didn't have to go on any longer.

 

After a while the weight was a bit too much so Marco breathed in deep discretely and grabbed Jean around the waist to support him more easily. He turned his head away to hide the slight blush forming on his cheeks. Jean's waist was slim and slightly bony but it wasn't unpleasant to the touch. Marco focused on their surroundings to avoid thinking about what he just managed to do. It was ok, best friends could do that much, no ?

 

Jean blushed immediately when he felt Marco's grip around his waist. He looked away. While doing so he noticed a zombie coming their way. It wasn't that easy to move now, but Marco's support kinda helped and Jean could easily get his bow. It was getting dark but Jean's eyes were good enough to shoot that one down. "It was only one" he informed Marco. Where should they go now? They had to walk until they'd find a shelter.

 

It was harder and harder to see around. Marco tensed up when Jean shoot the zombie. "Good-" well not so good, another was on Marco's side. "Jean, here" Marco said quick, pointing the zombie.

 

Jean reacted quick when Marco pointed at another one. He shot down the second. They would never get Marco as long as Jean was by his side! "We really need to find something to spend the night at" he said but well that was obvious anyway.

 

Marco frowned and nodded. Please if there was a god above their head... Could he make it so they find something soon ? Anything would do. Just a roof and something standing as walls.

 

They went on for a long time. It got harder every minute. And darker too. Jean looked around. Then, far in the distance he could see the shape of a... House? Well not a house but something with a roof. "There" he said.

 

"Ah" Marco voiced relieved. He walked quickly to it with Jean. Finally. Marco couldn't see as well as Jean in the dark outside. They entered the small shack. Even inside it started to freeze because of the night added to the cold.

 

Jean sighed in relief. Just in time they found something. And they were already not that high in the mountains anymore - well they walked for nearly a whole day. They entered and Jean sat down on the floor immediately. He couldn't anymore. "We have to make sure this thing's safe, search for any furniture that could block the door during the night" Jean commanded.

 

The thing only had two rooms. Nothing looking like a bathroom though. One was the entrance and the second room had a ridiculously small bed and.. A desk. The desk would do. Marco got it in front of the door. Done. There wasn't any window. Pretty depressing but it was a good thing for them actually. "The place's ok I think" Marco told to Jean.

 

Jean looked up at Marco and nodded. His freckled friend had found a desk which was soon in front of the door. Good. Jean stood up slowly and looked around himself. He got to the second room. His eyes widened as he saw the bed. He ran and jumped onto it before laying down. "Damn when was the last time I could sleep in a bed!" he said pretty happy suddenly. It was old and all but it was a proper bed! That was such luxury!

 

Marco laughed heartedly at this sight of Jean. This guy was really something ! "Are you a child or what ?" Marco asked loud as he rested against the door frame of the room.

 

Jean put his hands behind his head and looked at Marco. "I don't remember the last time I could sleep on a bed so of course I'm happy about it" Jean simply replied. Just now he realized that there was only one bed and this one was pretty small. And they were two not so small guys.

 

Marco smirked, this guy was too much. He knew Jean had slept in a bed in his base but maybe Jean simply didn't want to remember this part of his life. The part when Marco acted like the biggest bastard ever. The thought took his smile down but he couldn't let it depress him. He walked to the bed and sat, testing the mattress a bit. It was surprisingly comfy.

 

Jean knew he kinda had slept in a bed in the cell back in Marco's base. But that poor thing back then couldn't be called a bed. Jean watched Marco sitting down onto the bed. "It's comfy, am I right?" Jean said and grinned. He then sat up as well. "We should eat something, this trip was so tiring" he added and stood up. Fuck, his leg was pretty much hurting again. He couldn't wait to just lay down.

 

"Yes" Marco replied nodding strongly. He was impressed. But well, they couldn't both sleep in this bed and Jean had the priority with his leg. Even though he would scold Marco if this one told him this. "Oh yes, let's eat. I'm super hungry" Marco replied again and licked his upper lip. His stomach was grumbling since hours.

 

Jean chuckled and went to the entrance. There was a really small table with two rotten chairs. Jean grabbed his backpack and unpacked the rest of their meal. "Tomorrow we should get something new. We should stay here for a while if we don't get problems suddenly" he said and he started eating.

 

Marco looked and nodded seriously at Jean. Then started eating because this cold meat looked suddenly delicious before his eyes. Marco wasn't very talkative today. He quickly finished and looked again at Jean.

 

Jean leaned back, satisfied, now that they had eaten something and could actually rest. Like really rest. Jean remembered there was just this one small bed. He would love to share this bed with Marco, pressed against each other, but he couldn't bring that. "So uh do you wanna rest on the bed first? I can stay awake a bit more I guess" Jean said as he grabbed the cream out of his backpack so he could apply it on his leg.

 

Marco's eyes widened by Jean's proposition and he shook his head negatively. "I-I'll sleep on the floor, you, get the bed" he replied.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows. "What? No! I can't sleep the whole night on a bed while you have to sleep on the floor" he said and crossed his arms. "That's not right" he added.

 

"But-" Marco couldn't tell out loud his thoughts, Jean would get mad. He shook his head again. "N-No that's okay I'm perfectly fine with sleeping on the floor" he repeated.

 

"I'm not fine with it! Why should I have the privilege to sleep on the bed??" Jean asked. Of course it would be great to finally sleep in a bed again, but letting his best friend sleeping on the floor? Okay, the wooden floor was probably more comfortable than the stone-hard ground, but...

 

"Jean, you-" ow. He shut up and stood and walked to the bed and laid down pouting facing the wall.

 

"Wha- are you really pouting now?" Jean asked and stood up slowly, following Marco. "It's just fair, okay" he said crossing his arms.

 

Marco slowly turned over to face Jean and -pointed his tongue out, "I am" he said. He escaped a small chuckle then sat. "I'm sorry, please go sleep first your leg will thank you" he told Jean.

 

"Geez" Jean said and chuckled slightly. "Now you're the one acting like a child!" he added and smiled. "Okay, I'll sleep first. But please wake me when you need some sleep" Jean said and sat down next to Marco, before he laid down. Ahh that felt good, finally laying on a comfortable bed.

 

Jean's smile made Marco smile too. He let the bed to Jean and went to sit against the wall. It was still better for now. "Okay" Marco replied then closed his eyelid as he rested his head against the wall. But it was cold. Almost freezing even in this shelter.

 

Jean laid on the side and looked at Marco for a while as this one has closed his eye. He then turned around to the other side and closed his eyes as well. It was cold but this time it was okay because he had it more comfy. Still he didn't like Marco sitting on the floor. Jean fell asleep pretty soon, snoring happily.

 

Marco chuckled silently as Jean started to snore. But it was so cold. Marco was freezing. Maybe he was the one with a fever this time. He frowned. He hoped he didn't have one. Jean was sleeping deeply now... Marco came closer and sat at the end of the bed. Even though he hugged his legs to his chest he was still taking place on the bed.

 

As he felt something next to his feet Jean curled up a bit without waking up and gave space for Marco automatically. He didn't wake up once.

 

Jean was cute curling up like this. 'Wait, no, Marco you can't think that'. The freckled man closed his eyes and started to sleep lightly resting his head on his knees.

 

The night ended pretty fast. Because there were no windows the sun wasn't shining through, but Jean woke up anyways. Jean looked around and blushed, his eyes widened a bit. Marco was kinda sleeping on his feet, totally curled up. When did Marco come onto the bed?

 

Marco fell asleep despite the cold. He must have been pretty exhausted. In the end he slept for hours until something started to move around him.

 

Jean remained silent and just looked at Marco. He could watch him sleep for hours... Not creepy at all. But Jean laid back down and closed his eyes again. He could stay in bed a bit.

 

When he opened his eyes Marco found Jean asleep. Was he the one moving a moment before ? Marco smiled brightly, looking at Jean. This one looked better, more peaceful now after some rest in a good bed. Well, a small but good bed.

 

Jean wasn't used to a bed anymore or sleeping in. It was comfortable. Much. But Jean woke up again and sat straight in an instant as he heard sticks cracking outside. "What was that?" he said and looked at Marco who was already looking at him.

 

Marco's head turned instantly to where the cracking sounds came from. "Don't know" Marco murmured. He slid to his feet and slowly got closer to the door. He glanced at Jean.

 

Jean stood up as well. He grabbed his bow. There was a high chance outside was just an animal but they could never be sure.

 

Marco waited for Jean before he put his hand on the doorknob and opened the door ready for anything.  
 


	19. Sharing secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh Marco, you could have said sorry... stop being tactless. Please.
> 
> Have fun reading ❤  
> Action is coming soon, tears too

    
Jean nodded at Marco and went outside when Marco opened the door. Jean looked around, the bow up - but there was no zombie nor human to be found. Just a deer jumping around. Jean lowered the bow. It was odd to see such an animal during winter.

 

Marco sighed in relief and laid against the wall. Just a deer. But just behind the deer was two zombies walking. Marco asked Jean again because he didn't have a weapon on him (apart from his knife obviously, he wouldn't throw his knife to those ugly defenseless zombies).

 

Jean noticed just a moment later that behind the animal there were walking two zombies. These things were everywhere, geez. Jean nodded and took them down easily. "We need new arrows" Jean said and looked back at Marco. "And wood for a fire. Do you want to collect them?" Jean asked as he walked back in. He sat down, a bit exhausted already.

 

This was, well, a particular way to wake up. "Yeah I'll get it" Marco replied gripping his knife, took a bag then went to collect wood. Again. It was funny but he got better at it if it was even possible. He spotted the sticks faster. He knocked down one zombie who was walking around. It was always one less around here. And came back to Jean. He entered the shelter and made sure to block the door.

 

Somehow it wasn't that horrible anymore to let Marco go outside. Maybe because he felt kinda save now in this shack and himself felt already better. Marco came back and blocked the door. Jean stood up again and grabbed some of the wood from Marco. "Nice" he said and smiled surprisingly bright at Marco.

 

"Huh ?" It was an unusual bright smile on Jean's lips. Made it want to kiss it. Marco gulped and walked inside to sit on one of the almost rotten chair. "Can you make some with me ? Arrows ?" Marco asked smiling at Jean.

 

"What are you huh-ing for?" Jean asked before he placed some of the wood next to the table. He then looked back at Marco. "You know I'm not good at making them but... Sure why not" he said and smiled again. He sat down onto the second chair and grabbed the sticks.

 

"J-just thought you had a nice smile" Marco stuttered. 'Good job man, you suck at complimenting people' Marco congratulated himself as he contained his blush. After all, he'd better be honest with Jean, no ? To make up for his clumsiness Marco added "The one you carved last time was good ! Try doing the same !" he encouraged Jean with a small grin.

 

Jean looked away because he grew pretty much red. "T-thanks I guess" he said. He never ever got a compliment for his smile (when he got compliments at all). After Jean had sat down with Marco he looked up again. "You think so?" he asked. Jean scratched his neck. "Uhm okay I'll try my best but for making an arrow like you do them I need much time. You make probably five in the same time" he said and chuckled.

 

Jean's reaction made Marco blush some more. They seriously were getting nowhere like this... Marco humphed a chuckle in return. "Wanna bet on this ? 5 for one ?" he asked smirking.

 

Jean raised an eyebrow and grinned. "And what if I can make more?" he asked and crossed his arms smirking as well.

 

"I let you choose" Marco replied curious by what Jean could choose.

 

"You shouldn't let me choose this could be dangerous" Jean said and continued smirking. "But I can't think of anything. Hm... Damn that's hard I could let you do anything. Nothing bad of course" he said and chuckled.

 

Marco stayed with this small smirk on his lips. "Choose anything ! So we can start" he said laughing lightly.

 

He sighed. "Damn I don't know. Let us just start" he said and looked up, before grabbing one of the sticks and his knife.

 

"Yes, we'll see later" Marco replied looking at Jean then started the small race. It was cool to relax this way. Marco did one, and two and... observed Jean doing his. He couldn't help it and ended giving him some advices. Marco placed his hand on Jean's and showed him how to get a better flex of his wrist which would accelerate his carving.

 

Marco was already on his second or third arrow and Jean was still struggling with his first. Last time it went better. Maybe because Jean really had nothing to do and all. Jean looked up, his eyes widened a bit as Marco placed his hand on Jean's. It was warm and felt pretty good. Jean tried his best not to grow red again. He nodded at Marco's advices.

 

Marco slowly let go though he didn't really wish to but Jean seemed uneasy. "Got it ?" Marco asked with a smile as he returned to his third arrow.

 

"Y-Yeah" he said and nodded. He was kinda relieved kinda disappointed that Marco let go of his hand. "I'll just try some more. You already won the race" Jean said and chuckled.

 

"Wh- no I'm on my third, not fifth" Marco protested genuinely confused.

 

"Come on it's obvious you'll win anyway" Jean said and laughed slightly. He continued with that one arrow. Somehow he wanted to win (okay he didn't care that much) but he felt kinda challenged now. Jean grinned to himself, trying to work faster.

 

Marco smiled brighter when he saw Jean worked hard on it. It was adorable. Well, for Marco it was. He started a fourth one. "If you finish this one before I finish this one here then you win" Marco informed him amused.

 

Jean looked up at Marco. God that smile was beautiful. Jean raised an eyebrow. "Alright" he said. Jean tried to work even quicker now. He really tried his best. But he didn't know if he could beat Marco.

 

Marco would lie if he said he hadn't slow down a bit. He actually wanted to know what Jean would ask from him and as Jean was about to finish his arrow, Marco perfected his own one making it thinner.

 

Jean actually finished his arrow before Marco. "Ha! I won! I can't believe it" Jean said grinning proudly. "Well this one looks not perfect but it's good enough, right?" Jean asked showing it to his freckled friend.

 

Marco laughed happily. "Yeah this one's not bad !" he replied taking the arrow in his hands. He turned it over a little while all grinning before handing it back to Jean.

 

Jean was kinda proud now. "But anyway it's amazing that you can make them so fast. And they look a lot better" he said and chuckled as he took his own arrow back.

 

"Thanks" Marco said quickly but happily. It was fun in its own way to do things like this. "So now that I lost..." he started.

 

Jean looked up as Marco started with a sentence. "Yeah you lost, what about it?" Jean asked. He nearly forgot about that bet-thing.

 

"What did you choose ?" Marco asked approaching his head closer and tingling it, Marco was curious, now he wanted to know. And anything worth passing time was good for him.

 

"Ohh you mean that" Jean said and grinned. He still didn't think of anything. So what should he say now? "Hum what about... Oh I know something. Tell me something no one else knows about you. Something embarrassing you went through, delicate details, something you wouldn't dare telling someone other than your best friend" Jean said and crossed his arms grinning. Honestly he just wanted to know some more about Marco. He wanted to know everything.

 

"Oh..." Marco didn't think he'd get on this. Well, why not. "There was this time when I was walking to school, before the apocalypse, and you were sick so you couldn't walk with me this day and... I got lost. I ended up in a stranger's garden. I was up early so I didn't end up late at school but, I was lost ! In my hometown. And the postman found me here lost in the garden of someone I didn't know. He helped me get my way back to school. It was rather cool in fact, I rode on his bike for a few streets !"

 

Jean chuckled as he listened to every word Marco said. "Geez that sounds so like you" he replied and laughed. "And of course you get helped, you always could receive help from others, a nice kid like you" Jean added. "Okay, tell me another one."

 

"That's all because you weren't here that day ! You have a way better sense of direction than me !" Marco defended himself -and unconsciously complimented Jean as well.  
"A-Another ?!" Marco asked surprised. He took the time to think of a good one.

 

"So it's my fault that you got lost?" Jean asked and chuckled. "Yeah, another. Just one is not enough~" he replied and smirked. "Come on you sure have something you wouldn't tell anyone" he added and leaned back in the chair.

 

"That's right !" Marco replied childishly accusing Jean. "Ok so another..." he said still thinking. "Well, ehm it's a totally other subject but there was this time when my men, after the apocalypse, got a girl back for me. I swear it was one if not the worst experience of my life. And... I knew there was a possibility that they'd do ungraceful things to her, if I told them that I couldn't, with a girl, so I stayed with her in my room. Awkward silence all night. I can tell you I haven't slept much this night because I was scared she fled and got lost in the base and we'd found her months  
after, dead in a corner" Marco breathed out an embarrassed laugh. "The next morning I brought her back myself to where she wanted to return. Uhm, the embarrassing moment was when I had to tell her the reason why she didn't have to fear anything and though she needed to stay here. And of course when my men asked for details after. It was HORRIBLE. I didn't know what to do. Ehm so yeah it's not a funny story this time" he said and scratched his neck.

 

Jean rested his head on his hands and looked at Marco, absolutely curious. He laughed for a moment as Marco started talking. "They seriously brought you a girl?" he said but went silent again so Marco could continue.  He listened carefully. "Well, that sounds... Interesting. Uhm- did your men know that you're... You know" Jean said blushing slightly. He still couldn't believe Marco was gay as well.

 

"Nop- that was the whole problem" Marco replied slightly chuckling but still embarrassed about this memory.

 

Jean laughed silently. "You know what, you don't have to tell me more if you don't want to. But I'm glad I get to know something more of you" Jean said unconscious about what he actually said.

 

"No, no, it's fine. I mean- your turn now, please tell me something about you nobody knows" Marco asked all smiling.

 

"My turn? But I won!" Jean said and pouted. "You had to do it because I won the race, that's it" he said.

 

"But I told you two memories, it can be worth a little one from you, don't you think ?" Marco asked almost pleading. He chuckled remembering about those times Jean used to yell 'Don't trick me with your big brown puppy eyes !' But now well Marco only had one left. "No puppy eyes to beg with anymore though" he almost whispered but Jean can still hear.

 

Jean sighed. He heard Marco's whispering, but Marco was wrong. Even with one eye Marco still could bring Jean to give in. "Okay okay" he said and looked at Marco. "Let me think of one... Something nobody knows... Okay don't mock me for that one. It was before the apocalypse we were like what 10? 13? Something like that. You know that time you injured your arm? I was like super worried like a best friend is after all and I decided to- to cook something for you, okay? But it didn't work and I burnt it. God I was so embarrassed I just threw it away and never told anyone, not even my mom" Jean said and laughed awkwardly.

 

Marco rested his head on the table top and listened to Jean with a unconscious smile. "Haha, yeah I remember" Marco said when Jean mentioned this time Marco hurt his arm. Then he escaped a light chuckle. Has Jean always been this adorable ? "Thank you. Though it's a shame, I could have taste your cooking then" Marco said with a large grin.

 

Jean scratched his neck. "I wonder how you'd have reacted when I came with selfmade omelet or something like that" Jean said and chuckled. "We should continue making arrows. We need much of them" he then said.

 

Marco understood what Jean meant. "I would have love that" he assured honestly. And agreed with him, they needed arrows. Marco started again to move the blade of his knife on the stick quickly.

 

Jean blushed again a bit. He so had wanted to see Marco's face if the present Marco said he would've loved it. But sadly, these times were over. Jean grabbed a second stick, Marco already the fifth. "Do you have something else you can tell me about ?" he asked. He just wanted to know everything of Marco.

 

Marco, focused on his arrow-making, thought out loud "Another one huh...". "You may not believe me but as I wanted to create a bow and all the first time, I needed to buy a real knife. I was already very nervous about it because, well, I was me. And when I waited in front of the cashier an old lady told me 'Think twice, my son, before doing anything you will regret' and I so wanted to disappear at this point. What did she think I was planning to do ? Then I nodded, paid and ran at home. It was one of the most awkward moment of my life" he explained laughing.

 

"YOU wanted to buy a KNIFE?" Jean said and started laughing loudly. He calmed down again and let Marco continue. God just the thought of a younger Marco trying to buy a knife! It was so funny. "Damn I didn't know you were so badass even before the apocalypse" Jean replied after Marco had finished and chuckled. He looked down at his arrow. "Don't you miss the old times like when we were kids?" Jean asked focusing on the arrow. "I do" he added.

 

"I tried to get on YOUR level of badass-" Marco replied sticking his tongue out. He regained his seriousness and replied "yeah, me too. And every night when the nightmares show up". "But... Maybe one day, is what I keep telling myself" he added and looked at Jean.

 

Jean raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "Come on I wasn't badass. I was just an angry and stubborn little package of a kid. And still are probably" Jean said and scratched his neck again. "What is one day?" Jean said and looked up as well. "The old times are in the past it's not like we can get them back" he said looking down again. Why did everything become so complicated?

 

"You're without a doubt the most stubborn person I know" Marco replied laughing. He sat better on his chair and said "Just- One day, I'll come back to our hometown. Will you... will you come with me Jean ?" he eventually asked.

 

"Hey!" Jean said and pouted. "Yeah I know I'm very stubborn" he said and blushed slightly. Jean looked up and furrowed his eyebrows when Marco started talking about their hometown. For a moment it was silent before he nodded. "Yeah, I will" he said. Geez Marco's question had sounded like a proposal or something like that. Jean grew slightly red.

 

Marco sighed in relief discreetly. Maybe, he wanted to ask this since a while after all. Marco showed him a rapid but honest smile and returned to his sixth arrow.

 

"You sound relieved" Jean noticed and chuckled as Marco sighed. He continued as well. It was odd that a morning began so calmly - except for those two zombies - and he could just sit on a chair.

 

"Ehm, it's just, you could have said no..." Marco said because right now he was just simply numb, because it was about Jean actually staying with Marco for a longer time in the future. And Marco loved the idea.

 

"Well it's not like I have any plans so why should I say no" Jean said and let out another chuckle. He wouldn't say it but somehow it was a good feeling to think he could be with Marco for a long time. But was it really enough for Jean to just be friends with Marco when they'd stay together for so long? The longer Jean was with Marco, the more he thought of telling Marco.

 

"Yeah-" Marco murmured then focused on his arrow. He finished five more in a row and laid back in his chair.

 

"Damn you're so fast!" Jean said. He finally was at his third and Marco just had finished five more. "I guess a few more and we have enough for some time. I'm so glad you can do this, without your skill... Geez we'd be fucked" he said and laughed.

 

Marco laughed with Jean and sighed. They had done a long part of their lives together. It still felt amazing to be here with Jean. And to chat like they once spent their whole days doing. "Hey Jean... What's your type ? I mean-" Marco asked out of the blue, staring at the poor rotten ceiling of the shack.

 

Jean looked up. He didn't expected this question. "Well uh..." Jean began and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn't say bluntly that Marco was his exact type. "Hmm I guess he should be different. I mean different than me. I guess I need someone who is just as half as stubborn and angry as I can get" he answered and chuckled. "But if the question was for the look... Brown eyes are always good. And- uhm freckles are good too, but something like that's not important I mean I have to get along well with the person, right?" He looked up at Marco. "So? What about you? What's your type?" Jean asked and leaned back grinning.

 

Marco, staring at the ceiling first smiled. And then his eye widened slowly but surely. Brown eyes, many had. Freckles ? Seriously ? Who had freckles nowadays... Marco did. Well, Jean said it wasn't important, right ?   
Not conscious of what he was saying Marco replied chuckling "You never got along very well with anyone else but me, isn't that what you always told me when I sometimes asked you to try talking with others before we got separated and all...". Jean was funny back then, grabbing Marco by the arm and scolding him because Jean 'only had one best friend' and he 'didn't want others', quoting previous Jean. Marco purposely avoided replying at Jean first about his own type. The man in front of him, was it. And waited to see if this one would ask again. Then maybe he would vaguely reply, shrugging his shoulders and starting to carve an arrow more.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms. "And what about it? I know pretty much myself that I don't get along with everyone. That has nothing to do with what's my type" Jean replied. He looked away. "Well if you don't wanna answer my question, that's okay" he said and continued on his arrow. What was the deal with Marco?

 

Oh... "Wait- you're mad ?" Marco asked tilting his head to the side. In the end, Jean told Marco so he deserved a proper answer. "A-about my own type ehm... I think.. Strong. But not 'physically', I prefer someone mentally strong. And ehm someone who loves cuddling maybe ?" he said embarrassed. He never really put words on it and with words it'd be easier to just say 'You'. He continued "With the spirit of a leader somehow. Someone who doesn't hesitate. Who can take decisions and at the same time someone who can be sweet. With a pure heart. And the extra would be... A silky skin" he finished to say grinning dreamily. Jean didn't look like it at first glance but he had a delightfully milky skin.

 

Jean didn't reply. He wasn't mad. He just didn't like the answer he had get. So he was a bit surprised as Marco decided to reply like Jean did. Jean looked at Marco and nodded. Someone mentally strong but loves cuddling? With a pure heart but the will of a leader? Damn Marco sure had his requirements... "A silky skin?" was the only thing Jean replied. He chuckled. "Where do you want to find someone like that? And what about looks? Do you prefer I don't know, black hair, blue eyes or something like that?" Jean asked. Of course he wanted to know, he had answered to Marco's question as well !

 

"Black hair and blue eyes ? Seriously ? Wrong guess, I'm more for the blond, brown eyes type" he replied laughing heartedly.

 

Jean grinned. "Well I'm not good at guessing, sorry" he said. "So... Did you ever find someone like that?" Jean asked. What was he doing, the situation wouldn't get better if he knew if Marco had met someone after they got separated. It wouldn't change anything.

 

"What ?" Marco asked dumbfounded. He wasn't prepared for this question. If he replied yes, Jean would never guess it's just him. If he replied no, it was simply a lie.

 

"I mean it has to be hard to find someone like that, so did you ever meet a person like that? Like after we got separated and everything" Jean repeated his question.

 

Marco stopped panicking and finally could reply. "N-No, I didn't find anyone. Ehm too busy chasing or fleeing zombies you know" he replied awkwardly. "But all this time... Let's just say I didn't have to search for someone like this" he added quieter.

 

Jean laughed. "Yeah you're right, fighting zombies is more important in a world like this" he said. Jean raised an eyebrows when Marco said he didn't have to search for someone. "Why? I mean- oh you probably don't need anyone. Yeah that's better I guess" Jean said. Marco didn't want anyone by his side, that was pretty normal. Jean shouldn't tell Marco. It wouldn't turn out as Jean wished.

 

In Marco's head at this instant, something tackled another to the floor. Seriously ? THIS was what Jean came up with after Marco's answer. "Everyone need someone. What's with your logic" Marco replied, his voice unusually squeaky.

 

Jean was confused. "I- that's not my logic. But some people maybe prefer to be alone because it could be painful to lose someone they need. So some think it's better to be alone instead" Jean said and shrugged his shoulders. "You should know the feeling well- I mean, I know it. I thought for a long time I lost my best friend" he added and locked eyes with Marco.

 

"Ah" Marco stopped a second to think. Jean was right, losing someone could cause a pain unbearable to some. "I couldn't make this choice even if I wanted to. I... I think losing you was such a shock that my mind protected itself from the pain by forgetting about you. Well, your name and features. Because here, I mean, in my heart it obsessed me, I couldn't forget about this b-best friend" Marco said and it was an unexpected confession. It was hard to put words on all this.

 

"Yeah a shock can be pretty normal... At least you remembered you have a best friend, that means I was something huh?" Jean said and chuckled. "Forgetting about you is impossible, I don't know" he added.

 

Marco nodded but then blushed. Time to act awkward, Marco.

 

"What? Did I say something weird?" Jean asked as Marco remained silent. Did he say anything that Marco could have understood in the wrong way?

 

"N-No ! I-I wish I could have, like you, not forget about you that's all" he said shaking his hands in front of him. He caught Jean's gaze by the way and God, Marco was weak to Jean's eyes.

 

Jean chuckled. "You didn't forget about me. At least you remembered you had a best friend back then. So something inside you didn't forget me" Jean explained and smiled.

 

"Ngh, ye-yeah" Marco replied and ran a hand in his hair. All he could do was smile back but it was weak. What Marco really wanted to do was to take Jean in his arms and hug him tight to his chest.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows. "Is everything okay?" he asked and tilted his head. Marco acted a bit strange, it made Jean worry. Marco couldn't just get sick.

 

"Huh yeah I... I think I'm a bit hungry that's all" he said, awkward but chuckling. Time flew as they talked and without a window they couldn't even tell if it was still sunny outside or not.

 

"Uhm- okay, I can hunt something" Jean offered and stood up. He grabbed his bow and some arrows they made.

 

"You're sure ?! I-I come" Marco said, stood up and followed Jean. What if.. What if he had to run or anything ? Marco took his knife too and went to Jean's side.

 

"No, you don't have to-" he said but Marco stood already up. It was because of his leg, wasn't it. Jean still couldn't run or anything. "Okay" he said. He pushed the desk back from the door and opened it. He looked around first and nodded. "Okay, we can go" he said and looked at Marco.

 

Marco was relieved Jean didn't protest. He didn't want to argue now. He nodded and followed Jean outside. The sun was already set and only a few rays were lightning the sky. It was pretty with shades of pink and blue.

 

Jean was focused on his surroundings. Nothing and nobody would come near Marco. Jean still wanted to protect him after all. They didn't walk far away and already encountered some rabbits.


	20. Smiles and heartbeats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter~

   
After hunting the rabbits they came back carefully. It was a lot less safe than the mountains but apparently they wouldn't meet any zombies this time. "Your leg's ok ?" Marco asked to be sure as they entered the shelter. It was starting to get cold again around here.

 

They were pretty fast with the hunting. They were two after all. "Yeah I'm doing fi-" he said but remembered what he had promised Marco. "It hurts. But it's okay, some sitting down and it's alright" he said and looked at Marco before entering the shack.

 

Marco smiled gratefully at Jean. He was trying for real and Marco appreciated it very much.

 

Jean sat down quickly and groaned slightly. He reached for the cream and applied it once again. "If we have enough rocks it's safe to make a fire in here I guess, I can prepare the food" Jean said.

 

Marco let Jean the time to apply the cream and went to grab some rocks in front of the shelter quickly. Nobody could deny Marco was strong and in two times only he had enough rocks piling up so he started preparing a fire.

 

Once Marco collected rocks and stones and everything, Jean stood up and kneeled on the wooden floor. He helped Marco with preparing the fire. They accidentally grabbed for the same stone. "S-Sorry" Jean murmured and quickly pulled his hand back. God... Jean would love to take this hand in his.

 

Marco smiled at Jean as this one started to help. He took a good grip on this stone as Jean grabbed at the same time and hopefully it didn't fall but that contact sure wasn't expected. Marco put the stone on its place and murmured back "I-It's nothing, don't worry".

 

Every idiot could see how stupid they were acting. Everyone except those two could. "Okay, I guess that's enough. Get the fire going, I'll grab the rabbits" Jean said and nodded at Marco. He stood up again. Eating was always good to stop thinking too much.

 

As Jean prepared the rabbit and started to cook them on top of the fire, Marco sat close to him as his new habit. "I already told you but it's really good that you can cook so well and easily" Marco said resting his chin in his hand.

 

Jean grinned and looked into the flames. "Well I'm glad someone's appreciating my cooking skills" he said and chuckled. "And cooking simply like that is nothing difficult after all" he added and looked back at Marco, who was surprisingly close.

 

"Can you.. teach me a bit ?" Marco asked curious. Maybe he wouldn't understand a thing but listening to Jean's voice was already just worth it.

 

"Teach you? But- you can make a fire and put meat on it so what is there to teach?" Jean asked. "I mean I can but... There's not much about 'survival-cooking'" he said and chuckled.

 

Marco chuckled as well. It was true cooking meat on a fire didn't request wizard skills. But Jean's cooking in Marco's plate was on the wizardry level. "You don't have, a trick ? Something ?" he replied as curious as a child, seriously.

 

"A trick? Hum... I don't really know. I just do it like always, see" Jean said and showed Marco how he turned the meat and everything Jean did to make the food taste a bit better at least. "You have to check often that it's not too much burned on one side" he continued.

 

Marco nodded smiling. It was strangely interesting and he focused on this piece of meat for longer than he thought he would ever do. So Jean was just doing it like this ? Why did it taste so good in his mouth then ? How would Jean taste in Marco's mouth ?  
Marco spluttered something that sounded like ...sounds ? He was all red because of his stupid mind that was always losing itself where it shouldn't. Marco hid his face in his knees avoiding Jean's eyes.

 

It really was simple for Jean to cook something that could actually taste good. Jean wanted to teach Marco how to cook probably... But with a simple fire and just meat or plants there wasn't much to cook. But Jean had already promised one day he'd cook something good for Marco. Jean looked up from the fire as Marco started making weird sounds. Woah Marco was... Red. "Wha- Is everything okay??" Jean asked and put a hand on Marco's shoulder, shaking him slightly.

 

Jean's hand on Marco had the worst effect on Marco who grew even redder. What was Marco doing, seriously ? "W-Water, I'll drink some water" he hurried to say and went on four legs to grab the bottle on one of the bags. Wow, drinking helped. Marco felt his cheeks cooling and he sat again, trying to keep some composure.

 

"Mar-" What was it with Marco? He totally jumped. "Water is there" Jean said and pointed at the bag with water. Jean brought his knees to his chest and looked at Marco. "Is really everything okay? Do you- do you have a fever or something like that?" Jean asked concerned. Marco was definitely not acting normal.

 

Marco shook his head side to side as Jean asked if he had a fever. "Just-th-th-thought about something, that's a-all" he stuttered. He went red again as he said that. 'How old are you, Marco Bodt ?' he scolded himself internally. "Is the, the meal ready ?" he asked trying to change the subject quickly and make Jean's gaze turn away from Marco's red cheeks.

 

"Uh-huh" Jean replied and nodded slowly. "I wonder what you're thinking of that you freak out like that" he murmured. "Uh yeah the meal's ready I think, wait a moment" Jean replied and prepared the meal. Soon both plates were full and he put everything onto the little table. "Come on" Jean said and offered Marco his hand to stand up.

 

'You. Again' Marco replied in his head. He was extremely thankful that Jean didn't ask more and took the hand he offered to Marco. Once on his feet he went to sit with Jean. It was an emotionally packed day.

 

"Come on, let's eat" Jean said and smiled when Marco stood up. Once sitting at the table Jean started eating. Hopefully Marco liked it. Okay, it didn't matter if it tasted good or not, at least they got something to eat. But somehow... It made Jean happy when Marco appreciated something Jean made with his own hands because he obviously couldn't do much.

 

And fast came time for bed.

 

It got dark outside pretty quick - if they even could see that. They chit-chatted pretty much after all. Jean stood up from his chair. "Because I slept on the bed the whole night, you can today" Jean offered and smiled. "I can sleep on the floor, that's fine" he added in case Marco wanted to protest.

 

Marco was tired but Jean was more injured than him. Marco sat on the bed and stuck his back to the wall analyzing the place left on the small bed if he laid down. "Maybe we can both lay down..." he said thinking.

 

Jean raised an eyebrow. "Both? How exactly?" he asked and sat down next to Marco. "It's fine, really. It's not like I didn't sleep on hard grounds the whole time" Jean said trying to convince Marco.

 

Marco was more stubborn when he was sleepy. He laid comfy stuck against this wall and patted the place left so Jean would come. Marco wanted to sleep in the bed. But Jean needed to sleep in it so it was the best deal.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows and blushed. Was Marco for real? "And then you call me stubborn, geez" he said and laid next to Marco. He turned with his back facing Marco otherwise Jean couldn't keep calm. Were they really laying here like this? Marco just needed to wrap his arms around him and they would cuddle... Jean grew red. What was he thinking?? Good that Marco didn't see his face.

 

And to Jean's good grace Marco fell asleep. And in his sleep, slid a hand around what was emitting soft warmth in front of him. Marco dreamt about the milky skin of the one he loved. It was extremely soft and comforting.

 

Jean took a bit longer to fall asleep. Marco was right behind him after all. But Jean was glad it was this way. If he was the one behind Marco... He didn't want to think of how awkward it could get. But at some point he fell asleep as well, not noticing that Marco moved behind him. He just knew he never slept so peacefully and comfy through a night.

 

Marco's hand moved under the fabric and Marco hummed in his sleep as he caressed the lovely skin. He was dreaming right ? Satisfied as a well-nourished baby Marco fell in a deep sleep till morning.

 

Jean flinched slightly as something touched his belly (he was ticklish) but he didn't wake up. It was too comfy for that. Like Marco, he slept until morning.

 

Morning came and it seemed to be even colder than the day before. Marco woke up because he was trembling. Though the same warmth as yesterday was emitted against his chest.

 

Jean wasn't feeling cold like Marco did. Jean got warmed up from behind. So he was still asleep when Marco woke up, not even noticing the trembling of his freckled friend.

 

Marco opened his eye. Oh.. Brown cut hair and a smooth nape. He was still dreaming wasn't it ? Marco brought his free hand to this attracting area. He so wanted to kiss it. Slowly he took his lips closer and kissed gently the line between ash-blond and brown hair.

 

As soon as Jean felt a cold hand on his skin, he slowly woke up. He looked around without moving. He... couldn't even move. Still half asleep he furrowed his eyebrows and looked around again, confused. He was suddenly awake as he felt someone... kissing? his hair. He looked down and blushed. Since when was Marco's hand under his shirt? And did he really just get kissed on his hair? Maybe Marco was still sleeping. Jean tried to free himself which resulted in him falling down onto the floor. He groaned and sat up, holding his head. Just a minute longer in Marco's arms and...

 

Marco grumbled and slowly opened his eyes for real when his dream slipped out of his arms and fell on the floor. He sat up and rubbed his eyes lazily with one hand.

 

Now Jean was pretty much awake. He looked over to Marco. "Do you always kiss people in your sleep?" Jean asked and slowly stood up. Good thing he didn't fall onto his leg.

 

"Wh-what ??" Marco asked dumbfounded. Jean was on the floor. If Marco k-kissed people in their... Oh god, Jean was for real, not in his dream, for real. Marco panicked suddenly and helped Jean to get on his feet. "Sorry ! I'm so sorry, I... didn't know-" he tried to explain.

 

With Marco's help he stood on his feet pretty fast. "It's okay, it's not like you can control yourself when you're sleeping, I know that pretty much myself" Jean said. Better saying something like this than admitting Jean was totally fine with it...

 

"O-Ok" Marco stuttered again then let go of Jean. Marco was surprised Jean reacted so.. not much. He scratched the back of his head and added "Ehm, still I'm sorry".

 

Jean patted Marco's shoulder. "Hey it's fine. I guess we're even now. I mean- that one time I moved in my sleep" Jean said and grinned awkwardly. "Your hand's surprisingly soft" Jean said. Wait. Did he really just say that?? "Uhm- I'll get us some more wood" Jean said and left the room quickly. God one embarrassing situation after another. He walked out of the shack - and sudden cold approached him. "The fuck" he said and stepped back in.

 

"Oh, yeah, right" Marco replied confused when Jean reminded him that time he was the one unusually close to Marco to sleep. But then Jean surprised him again. It set Marco's face in fire, burning of different shades of red. Luckily Jean turned around and maybe didn't see Marco combust.  
"Is it this cold ?" Marco asked quietly as he walked closer to the door and Jean.  
Finally his spirit came back. Good.

 

Jean looked back at a pretty red Marco. "I didn't notice this night that it got so cold. But I guess we're in the mid' of winter... Even not in the mountains it's pretty much snowing" Jean said and walked in sitting on a chair. "I hate the cold" he said and ran a hand through his hair. He always hated it.

 

Marco suppressed a chuckled and followed Jean to the table. He sat and said nonchalantly "Though I like winter, the cold is terrible".

 

"The winter is not much better than the cold. I still prefer the summer" he said and sighed. "I know it's sounds awkward and all, but I guess it's thanks to you that I didn't freeze this night" Jean admitted and looked away embarrassed.

 

Marco blushed again, couldn't help it but then grinned at that. "Start again anytime" he said joking and poked Jean's cheek with an innocent fingertip. Marco knew he had a constant redness over his cheeks now anyway.

 

Jean pouted when Marco started poking his cheek. "Stop that" he said in a childish voice. Just like the old times, huh? "Did you freeze the last night?" Jean asked and looked at Marco concerned.

 

Marco stopped as Jean asked but chuckled. "Hm ? Honestly, yes. But it was still ok since I slept" he replied growing more serious.

 

Jean sighed dramatically. "Tonight I'll sleep on the back" Jean said and crossed his arms. If it meant that Marco wouldn't have to freeze in the night, Jean would do it.

 

"Y-You will ?" Marco repeated but even himself noticed he sounded too eager more than confused. If he continued to act like that... As if he hadn't already crossed the best friend line by sliding a hand under Jean's shirt as they slept on the same bed. And k-kissed him (his nape actually).

 

Jean was a bit surprised about the tone of Marco's voice but nodded. "Yeah. It's just fair after all. If you're not fine with it, I still can sleep on the floor" Jean said and looked at Marco.

 

"No that's- I'm okay there's no problem. We're friends after all, we should h-help each other. I'd appreciate to get you in stance for a hot water bottle actually" he replied lightly.

 

"Okay then" Jean said and smiled. Yeah Marco was right. They were friends after all. Best friends. But somehow the fact that both were gay made it a bit awkward. "I know I'm hot" Jean said and grinned, putting his arms behind his head. Okay, Jean was not super confident about himself but Jean was Jean and everyone could expect such answers from him.

 

Marco smiled in return but..."Oh my god, Jean !" Marco said as he laughed out loud. This, just now was one of the reasons why Marco loved this guy.

 

"What! What is it?" Jean gasped but started laughing too. "Hey a little self confidence is always good okay. I may be not so well-built as you but I have other charming points okay" he said and crossed his arms. He didn't know which charming points he meant though...

 

"I know that much" Marco said grinning fully. "Like, you've got nice eyebrows man" he threw then laughed again. It would take days and nights if Marco told Jean everything he was finding hot about him.

 

Jean raised an eyebrow and let out another laugh. "Yeah thanks my eyebrows can turn on everyone I know that" he joked and chuckled. "But seriously, eyebrows? No one's noticing if eyebrows look good or not. Can they even 'look'?" Jean asked more himself than Marco.

 

Marco let out sigh after laughing this much. "Of course they can 'look'. Look at that" Marco replied and illustrated his words by wiggling his eyebrows to Jean. And laughed again.

 

Okay, Jean couldn't control his laugh anymore and pushed Marco's face jokingly away. "Geez you look so stupid like that" he said and laughed more. He looked down for a second and smiled. When did he laugh so much the last time? He couldn't remember.

 

"Are you happy ?" Marco asked in a warm voice. Before he asked that a bit out of the blue, he had stopped laughing to look at Jean and this smile on Jean's lips sure made Marco happy. He didn't care about the zombies outside. Today was a day more with Jean in this shelter.

 

Jean nodded. "I am. It's been such a long time since I could laugh like that" he said. He walked up to Marco and hugged him - friendly of course *cough* what else? "I'm glad my best friend came with me" he said and chuckled before he let go of Marco (it shouldn't get awkward after all). "Are you happy?" Jean asked the same question and sat down on the chair.

 

Marco smiled glad by the answer he got. And then firm arms wrapped around his upper body. Wow. Marco wished he had the opportunity to get use to this sensation. He patted Jean's back, friendly of course and eventually Jean let go. Marco closed his eye the time to nod at Jean's question. "I'm very happy to get through the apocalypse with my one and only best friend" he said and smiled once again.

 

Jean so wanted to just keep Marco in his arms, maybe kissing him while hugging. But Marco was 'just' his best friend after all. Jean looked up at Marco and smiled. So the freckled one was happy too. "Yeah someone as awesome as me you won't find anywhere else" Jean said and grinned. "Kidding. But yeah it's a lot easier to travel with my best friend" Jean said. It was way more easier to travel with his best friend and... crush.

 

Marco grinned more at Jean's pretentious comment and chuckled. Marco replied honestly "I'd lie if I said it's easier for me compared to the life in the base but I much prefer it with you. It's well, funnier, better in every sense of the word".

 

Jean chuckled. Yeah Marco had it pretty comfy in his base, at least that was what Jean thought. "Of course it's funnier" he said and grinned. "And I guess it's more chilled for you. I mean- you don't have to command lots of people here" he said and nodded. He still couldn't believe that Marco has been a merciless leader. But that didn't matter, Jean liked Marco anyway. Yeah, he liked Marco. Would this ever stop ?

 

"It is" Marco replied and nodded. "But the pressure's not reduced. Losing you would be hundreds times worse than losing my men. They were strong and they knew what they were doing. Me, I did my best to lead them through the mess" Marco said mostly reflecting about it now. Didn't he have other choices ? Other ways to get through it ? Would he be dead by now if he did otherwise ?

 

Somehow Marco's words really touched Jean. He tried his best to contain a sniff. "S-Same goes for you" Jean said trying to control himself. "Well it's not like I have 'hundreds of men' to compare them loosing with you, but exactly because you're the only one there's a pressure. If I lose you- I'd be alone again and I know it sounds unmanly and all but I don't want to be alone anymore" Jean said and blushed slightly. For him it wasn't easy after all to talk about emotions and stuff.

 

"You're alright, Jean ?" Marco murmured and moved a hand on top of Jean's shoulder because his voice, Jean's lovely voice, was slightly trembling. However his words were welcomed by Marco as rain in a desert. But Marco let him continue to talk. Marco blushed a bit and he could noticed Jean was too. It wasn't a fever this time, right ? It took a good minute for Marco before he whispered back "I won't let you alone ever again" and.... Was he allowed ? Marco brought Jean slowly to his chest.

 

"Yeah yeah I'm fine" Jean said. "It's just- well I never heard such words before it's not like I have many friends out there" Jean said and chuckled. "But I don't need them, I have the most awesome best friend after all" he said and looked up. Yeah Marco really was amazing. Especially his characteristics. And those freckles too. Jean looked at Marco surprised as got pulled into a hug. Lots of hugs today huh? Marco's words were strangely calming. Jean really appreciated it. "Why are you doing this" Jean murmured and chuckled. "Everybody else in this world would just not care about others. That's pretty special about you" he added.

 

How Jean's eyes were so fascinating to Marco ? When he was younger the freckled boy barely noticed how profound were those eyes. Marco tried to hug Jean in the most non-romantic way possible but it was hard because Jean was so precious to him... Marco took advantage of the fact Jean couldn't see his face to close his eyelid tight and breath deep. Loading memories of 'Jean in my arms''s sensations. "Why, huh ?" he snickered still behind Jean's eyes. "Well maybe you'll figure out by yourself" he added before he let go, a bright smile across his face.  
 

Jean wouldn't admit that it felt extremely good to just lay in Marco's arms. Jean wasn't even sure if they acted all 'friend-like'. But that didn't matter right now. Jean didn't want to let go of Marco at all but they couldn't stay always like this. Jean furrowed his eyebrows confused by Marco's sentence. "I don't get it what will I figure out by myself?" Jean murmured when Marco let go of him - sadly.

 

Marco wondered. Was it the right moment to say it ? Maybe he would never get a better opportunity. Because Jean didn't reject him even once when he took him in his arms awoke and asleep as, let's state the obvious, friends wouldn't normally do. Maybe he had a chance to not fuck it all up. He swallowed his fear and said "Because, Jean, I-I...". Suddenly something or someone hit violently one of the walls outside of the shelter.


	21. Jack and Jeanne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for the wait,   
> this is an important chapter ! I hope you'll enjoy it :)

Waiting for an answer, Jean tilted his head. He really didn't know what he could figure out by himself. Was there even something to figure out? Then, Marco started. He looked a bit tensed up. "Yeah?" Jean asked. Marco couldn't finish his sentence though because suddenly something- or worst someone hit the wall. Jean nearly jumped. "Fuck what was that" he whispered and grabbed instantly bow and knife. He put a finger on his lips. "Shh" he said.

 

It started to scream outside and Marco could recognize a child's voice and the hideous shrieking of a zombie. Marco looked at Jean. The only thing to figure out now was who'd be the first to jump outside. Actually they were quite synchronized as they made the door fly open and there was at least ten zombies. And the child's voice still screaming from behind the shelter.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows again as they heard a scream. They ran outside - and lots of zombies were outside. How couldn't they notice?? Jean looked around, the bow ready. He started shooting the first ones. "Get behind!" Jean commanded at Marco. Maybe whoever was screaming needed help.

 

Marco executed Jean's order and after a rapid overview of the situation, ran behind the shack where... Not one but two children were, encircled by zombies. A boy and a girl who shouldn't be more than 10, apparently brother and sister because they looked alike a lot. Marco felt like fainting for a second as he suddenly remembered every single faces of the ones, not much older than those two right here, that he let die in front of zombies when he could have saved them. He didn't even remember looking at these now-dead children as he encountered them. But Jean was here with Marco now, Jean changed him back to how Marco was truly, he made the ice blocking Marco's chest melt down and now Marco would protect these two children to make up for all the ones he didn't save back then.

 

Jean watched Marco ran behind the shack. He in the meantime tried to slay as much zombies as possible. It was not good for his leg but he managed to get rid of them in no time. As he was sure there were no more near him, he ran to Marco, helping him. There were even more zombies! But they were two and fast in their doings. After some time every last zombie laid on the ground. Jean looked and Marco and then at - two little kids?

 

Marco quickly moved and ordered to the children "Cover your eyes ! Now !", hoping they understood english, then started to slice down all the zombies he could reach in a row. But there was still many of them and Marco was relieved to see Jean arrive and help him. Marco breathed out the air locked in his lungs previously and returned to the small boy and girl. He patted their head tenderly and said "It's alright now, you can open your eyes".

 

Jean watched Marco talking to the children. What were they doing here in the first place, all alone? "Marco, we should get in. It's getting dark soon" he said and crossed his arms. They couldn't stay outside when they just sliced down hideous zombies. And Jean still wanted to know though what Marco tried to say earlier. It seemed... important.

 

Marco kneeled in front of the children as they opened their eyes. It was a bright green for both and they had ash-blond hair. Lovely... Same color as Jean... Thinking about him, Marco turned on his feet and Jean talked just in time. Right, the sky was already turning darker. "Then make them enter Jean, I'll get something to eat or we'll starve tonight" Marco said caring about his new protégés and Jean obviously.

 

Jean sighed silently. He knew Marco would be like that. So they were watching kids now? "Be careful" Jean said and showed the children the way into the shack. Inside he stood there. He looked at the wall and waited for Marco. He was with kids before in some groups, but Jean was no one who could do good with them.

 

Marco would have liked to walk and kiss Jean to reassure him and tell him he'd be back to him in no time. Actually Marco nodded, knowing the corners of his lips curled up by themselves. He hurried because night was falling pretty fast and there could still be zombies around here. He didn't find much but got a rabbit and also got really lucky to find some apples what was something he hadn't eaten for a long time. With this Marco came back to the shelter and opened the door in a way Jean could recognize it was Marco.

 

The kids were whispering to themselves. Jean sat down at waited. Marco had to come back soon he could deal with children, Jean didn't. He sighed in relief when Marco opened the door. "Good, you got something" Jean said and smiled. He picked up the food from Marco and started preparing everything.

 

Marco smiled in return, kind out of a habit between them now and let Jean take care of the cooking. Marco's eyes turned to check the children but... The little girl gripped Jean's pants and asked with a briskly voice "So you're the mommy ?".

 

Jean was absolutely concentrated on preparing the meat as he felt something gripping his pants. Or more someone. Jean looked down at the girl. "WHAT??" Jean said in surprise. He grew slightly red, he didn't know if it was because of anger or embarrassment. "What did you say you little-" he said but stopped. He couldn't scold a kid. Jean looked up at Marco, pleading with his eyes that his freckled friend would take care of them. Jean continued with the cooking trying to reduce the redness of his cheeks.

 

It stroke Marco's mind violently. It was just absolutely adorable. Jean's reaction was the most adorable (from Marco's biased point of view) thing. Marco snickered and walked toward the both of them. He placed a hand behind her head and guided the girl farther from Jean. "Cook us something good, 'mommy'" Marco teased as he winked at Jean. Marco went to the other room to let Jean grumble alone and sat on the bed with the two kids comfy. He let them adapt to this environment. After a while he asked the boy who finally seemed to be the older. The girl was really small, barely five now that Marco could see her clearly. "You understand when I talk ?" he started trying to soothe the tone of his grownup voice.

 

"Wha-" Jean said but Marco had already turned around. Jean grew as red as a tomato. He grumbled something and continued with his cooking. Once everything prepared he made the fire quickly and put the meat over. Then he started cutting the apples. Geez Marco couldn't just say something like that !

 

Marco was a naturally patient guy. After a few minutes, the boy still didn't reply so the little girl nodded and beamed at Marco. He patted her head gently and asked softly "Really ? You can ? How are you two named then".

 

It was good that Marco and the two children were in the other room. Enough time for Jean to calm down. How could that kid dare call him a 'mommy'! Jean glared at the apples. While Marco seemed to talk with them, Jean finished with the cutting and looked over the meat. "Dinner's ready soon" he said in a loud voice so that they would hear him. Not that this was hard. The shack was tiny after all.

 

The smaller kid glanced at the other that was acting grumpy. She pouted a second and looked up at Marco. "My name is Jeanne" she said beaming at Marco again. Jeanne, huh ? Sounded familiar to a certain someone. And the certain someone was announcing dinner was ready. Marco smiled back to the kid and said "Enchanted to meet you, Jeanne, I'm Marco. We should go and see what 'mommy' cooked for us now don't you think ?". Marco had a lot of fun imagining Jean as a 'mom'. Grumpy Jean never had been at ease dealing with other kids. As Jeanne jumped off the bed and hurried to the other room, Marco heard a murmur. "-Jack". He turned to the boy with surprise in the eye. "Hi Jack" he said and bumped the kid's shoulder very carefully and smiled. After that they both walked to the other room too.

 

Jean got no response. Well, they've heard him so whatever, they'd come soon. Jean was like so glad Marco could deal with kids by the way. Jean couldn't just let children stay alone when he found them, that'd be just cruel, but he somehow wasn't able to entertain kids and all. Luckily most of the time in his groups was at least one woman or even a man who was good with kids. Jean got the meat and put everything on the plates. Good they had more than two. Eating with 3 different people... It would be less food for everyone. But that was okay. Jean turned around when he heard someone coming out of the room. It was the girl, looking at him with big eyes. Jean tried to ignore it and looked at Marco as this one came back with the boy.

 

Jean was staying up standing in the small room, not moving. "You're alright, man ?" Marco asked chuckling as he walked toward Jean, well toward the table. He helped Jeanne to sit down and made Jack sit next to her before he sat too. The table top was pretty small so they were tight around it now. Marco waited for Jean to sit as well.

 

"Yeah I'm fine" Jean said and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. The three of them sat down and Jean finished with shoveling the apples on the plates as well. The first two he handed to the children, then he sat down with Marco's and his meals. Now they really had some kids here huh? Jean remained silent and started eating.

 

This whole situation was making Marco feel weird. A good kind of weirdness. And he had an excuse to be so close to Jean -the table being too small. They ate and Jeanne chitchatted about mostly Jean's "strange hair color" and Marco's "weird dots on his face". Jack didn't talk though. Between two bites, Marco informed Jean "So, she's named Jeanne. Sort of reminds me someone.. And he's Jack. A good guy". Marco wanted to show the boy they weren't hostile to him. And the girl was overjoyed to be introduced to the "boy who is the mommy".

 

One word about his 'strange hair color' was enough and Jean could have started arguing with the kids as if he was a kid himself. Strange hair color pff they had the same! Except for the brown. Jean nodded when Marco introduced him. "I'm Jean" he replied simply and continued eating. The boy seemed a bit grumpy, a look on his face Jean knew too well. "How did you two get here?" he asked then because well two little kids in the middle of nowhere? That sure was strange.

 

"They attacked our group" the young boy simply replied.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows. "And who is they? Zombies?" he asked. He feared the answer he could get. If it would be Marco's group who attacked them... Jean just hoped he'd get a different answer. For Marco's sake.

 

"No" Jack replied. "Who ?" was heard, and this one was from Marco.

 

Jean looked at Marco as this one spoke up. He looked back at the boy. "A strong group, lots of strong men" Jack replied simply and returned to his meal. Jean ran a hand through his hair and sighed silently. How high were the chances that this was Marco's previous group?

 

Marco turned white suddenly. He knew only one group who would have done this.

 

Jean put a hand on Marco's shoulder and squeezed it firmly before he continued eating. They could talk later about it, when the children were asleep.

 

They finished their plate. Well, Marco forced himself cause he felt nauseous just looking at the piece of meat. Jeanne continued to chat alone about little things. Jack kept quiet. And Marco felt Jean's gaze on his freckles from time to time. This hand that went resting on his shoulder actually help Marco to keep his cool. He seriously hated everything he had been his time without Jean. And now he remembered his group might still be powerful and still acting the way he led them all along. With unconditional cruelty.

 

Jean didn't like to see Marco like that. They finished eating and Jean stood up, grabbing all the plates. "Uh you two can rest a bit on the bed if you want" he said. The boy nodded and the girl went to hug Jean's leg, thanking him for the meal. Jean quickly freed himself. When both of them were in the other room, Jean quickly went to Marco and hugged him. "It's fine you're not with them anymore okay don't freak out" he said.

 

Even Jeanne hugging Jean's leg didn't make Marco feel any good. He hugged Jean back tight as if it was his only attachment point. "Ho-how can I make up f-for what I've done ?" he stuttered and choked off a whimper.

 

Jean sighed and rubbed Marco's back. "You can't" he said. "But you're out of there now... from now on you can do better things. Like watching those two. I'm sure" Jean said and let go again. "What happened can't be changed. But you can change how you'll do in the future. And I KNOW it'll be better" he added.

 

Marco ungraciously sniffed and nodded. He could only do better anyway. How could it be worst. "Thanks Jean.." he quietly said but at the same time, Jack stood there, closing carefully the door of the cramped bedroom behind him. Marco turned to him and asked surprised "What is it, Jack ?". Maybe it was important.  
The boy had acted quite strange from the start but now Marco understood why. Jack looked at Jean and Marco both and said in a still trembling voice that it was obvious he wanted to keep assured. "She got bitten" he sniffed and explained "The group got attacked and our parents ordered us to run as far as we could. Jeanne cried, she cried a lot. I couldn't. I took her hand and squeezed tight a-and I ran as fast as possible" the boy was crying now "b-but she tripped on a root when we were in the forest and sh-she, ugh, the zomb-b-bie showed up from nowhere and i-it b-bit her in the back. She c-can't see it and she lost consciousness after it. She doesn't know what s-she will turn into pl-gh-ease, do something. I don't want her to suffer" he finished and burst into tears for real now.

 

Jean sighed again. Why did his best friend have to go through all this, it wasn't fair. Okay Jean himself wasn't fine with what Marco did as well, but it was nothing he could blame Marco for. "Feeling a bit better?" Jean asked but didn't get an answer as Marco spoke to the boy who came in the room, closing the door behind him. Jean turned around and listened to the boy's words. Jean ran a hand over his face. This was way too much drama for today! If it was true what Jack said then they had to shoot her. Jean's eyes widened a bit. Not again. He had to do it once and it was the worst feeling to feel. "Are you sure she got bitten? Maybe there's a chance she won't turn into a... zombie" Jean said as calm as he could. He looked over at Marco. What should they do?

 

"D-do you think there's a-a-a chance ?" Jack asked still crying. Marco couldn't show a proper reaction. Everything had finally broke inside him. He just wanted to quit now. Why those kids had to be born in a world like this ?

 

Jean sighed. Marco wasn't reacting so he had to answer huh? "We don't know. Do you know how deep the bite got and if it was a real bite? Maybe she was lucky and it was not enough for her to turn... For how long does she have the wound now?" Jean asked and kneeled down. Jean felt like he was the only person thinking clear right now. ...Great.

 

"Two d-days" Jack replied rubbing his eyes hard. He didn't want her sister to suffer. It was his only wish.

 

Jean nodded. Two days. "Normally someone turns into a zombie fast. After the first day there normally is already a change seen. Uhm stay with Marco I'll go take a quick look at your sister" Jean said and stood up again, walking into the other room where the girl was sitting calmly, smiling at him.

 

Jack looked at Jean with eyes filled with his feelings. Fear, thanks, exhaustion. The boy was only ten. Jack walked next to Marco as asked and when Jean stood up did Marco react again by grabbing the hem of Jean's shirt before he went further. Marco didn't voice anything because yeah he was broken for real but locked eyes with Jean a second before he let go of the fabric.

 

Jean looked back as he got stopped. It was Marco who stopped him. "I'll be right back" Jean said and turned around again. He closed the door to the bedroom and started talking with the girl. She seemed healthy at least. That was a good sign.

 

Marco slipped to the floor and sat all shriveled on himself. Jack sat against him and let out some more hot tears. How could this happen ? When will things stop getting worst ? A few hours before Marco was about to confess to Jean and now they might have to ...take care... of Jeanne. The small girl was cheerful enough to get them three to smile. Marco waited for Jean, praying for that Jack made a mistake somehow, that he hasn't see it very well...

 

"Okay so uh Jeanne your brother told me a zombie got near you? Do you feel any pain?" he asked and sat down next to her. The girl shook her head. "Okay uhm can I take a look at it? We want you to feel well after all" he said and tried to smile. Shush it wasn't the easiest thing to talk with a kid. But Jeanne seemed to like him somehow so she nodded. Jean examined the wound and nodded. "Okay thanks. Everything's fine and when it's not hurting that's good" he said and smiled. Jean walked back to where Marco and the boy were. Jean got shocked a bit as he found both of them sitting on the ground. "She seems fine. The bite doesn't look bad which it should after two days. It seems like she had luck. Your sister is alright" Jean explained. "Is everything okay?" he asked worried about Marco.

 

Marco exhaled the air locked inside his chest. He looked up to Jean and somehow showed the worst smile ever. It was sad and afraid and mostly broken. Marco knew he had to not be emotional like this. Jean needed support too. Marco turned to Jack and bumped him gently. "That's good, buddy. Go talk to her now, she must be worried" he said softly to Jack. The boy nodded, wiped his tears away and ran to his sister. Marco stood up and walked to Jean. Felt like 'sorry' time. Marco search for Jean's eyes and whispered "I'm sorry Jean, I shouldn't have let you check this alone. What if she really... And we had to-"...

 

Jean was like so glad he didn't have to shoot that girl. If he had to, he would do it again but even he was not strong enough to do it just like that. Jean watched the boy run to his sister. He wanted to help Marco to stand up but Marco already was. "It's fine, Marco" he said with a steady voice. "She is not infected, everything's fine. I checked her, the bite is not more than a few scratches. Are you feeling alright?" he asked and put a hand on Marco's shoulder again.

 

Marco sighed and gave this as a reply to Jean "You want a honest answer ?". Marco covered Jean's hand that was on his shoulder with his own hand and gave it a soft but long squeeze. Too much drama in one day. Marco hasn't been this emotionally drained since the time he fled from his base with Jean.

 

Jean sighed again and looked down. With his free hand he clenched a fist. He wanted to help Marco, wanted to make him feel better, but he didn't know how. "Everything's fine now. Those two are alive and you're here now" he said and tried to calm Marco down. This day has been too much.

 

Marco showed a quite more acceptable smile this time and thanked Jean again before he said "We should just... go to bed now. This day was way too long".

 

Jean chuckled slightly. "Well the bed's in use now, we'll have to sleep on the floor I guess" he said and brought his backpack close to him so he could use it as a pillow. How bad... No he had no excuse to sleep close to Marco. But that didn't matter anyway. He was just tired. This day has been too much, Marco was so right. "Wanna look after the kids?" Jean asked and sat down.

 

Marco thought and replied "Wait a sec!" as he turned to go check the kids. Actually those two were already sleeping in each other's arms and Jack was snoring lightly with his eyelids still puffy and red from crying. Jeanne was smiling in her sleep, good god... Marco sighed and smiled and returned in the other room to silently lay down next to Jean. They would sleep here, and Marco didn't forget what Jean said. Maybe it'd be still on by some ways.

 

Jean watched Marco going out of the room. He sighed again and leaned back. Finally this drama was over. But Marco still seemed not so good. And Jean didn't know what to do to help Marco. Said one came back and laid down as well. "Finally the day's over huh" he began and put his hands behind his head. "I have a question - what did you want to say before the zombies came?"

 

Finally they could rest. Marco laid on his side, this way he could have a good sight of Jean. He froze an instant as Jean asked what he had wanted to say before... Marco closed his eye and breathed deep. "I... I just care so much about you... This is why" he replied. He wasn't lying at all. He just couldn't tell him now, Marco decided they already had their load of drama for the day.

 

Jean nodded and smiled. "Well that's nice to hear! Same goes for you" he replied grinning. Jean wanted to talk a bit more with Marco but sleep was pretty much welcomed now. "I guess we should sleep then. Good night Marco" he said before he closed his eyes to fall asleep.

 

Marco let out a chuckle and moved on a more comfortable position. "Good night Jean.." he replied sweetly and fell asleep a second after.

 

It was cold but Jean didn't freeze that night. And the sleep did so good to him. Morning came pretty quick and Jean was snoring happily.

 

He had a break when he slept so close to Jean but this night he had nightmares again. He woke up early, exhausted again. He ran a hand over his face and calmed down slowly before glancing at Jean who was snoring and sleeping carelessly. Seeing this in the early morning made it easier for Marco.   
A sudden cry resonated in the shack. It was coming from the kids' room.

 

Jean slept to the moment when a cry went through the shack. He suddenly sat up, full awake now. "W-What was that??" he said. The answer was coming right through the door. Jack with tears all over his face. "Jeanne she- she looks weird she-" he started but started crying again. Jean stood up. "Stay with Marco, I'll take another look at her" he said. Marco was better with kids so he should be the one calming the little boy down.

 

Marco sat up as quick as Jean but this one knew better how to react. Jack ran to them. Jean went to see Jeanne while Jack threw himself in Marco's arms. Wow the kid must be scared to death. Marco kept him tight in his arms and the boy started to shed big tears.   
Marco knew what that meant. He waited for Jean's affirmation.

 

Jean came into the room and nearly jumped at the sight. Some body parts looked already rotten. "It hurts" the girl said. Jean furrowed his eyebrows. How? Yesterday everything was fine how could this be possible?? "Jeanne uhm- please come with me" he said and walked to the door slowly. The girl came after him and grabbed his hand, smiling at him. Jean felt his heart already falling to pieces. But he'd do it. No way he'd let Marco do it, Marco went through too much already. Jean looked at Marco and Jack with kinda empty eyes. "I'll be right back" he said and walked to the door. "Jack no matter what stay with Marco" he said again in a firm voice.  
 


	22. Nightmares

    
So... That was it. Marco saw the already wasted parts of her small body. He kept Jack tight in his arms as Jean looked at them with the most heartbroken eyes Marco had known, that ended to crush Marco's heart for good. Marco nodded then Jeanne escaped from Jean's hand and ran to hug her brother. "I love you Jack" she said beaming. God only knows how she chose to say those particular words now. The boy's eyes widened, all red and he replied "I love y-you too Jeanne" his voice quivering much. She hugged Marco too with her ridiculously tiny arms incapable to grab fully Marco's broad chest. And then returned to hold Jean's hand again, her smile broader.

 

Jean watched the girl saying her goodbyes to her brother and Marco. As she came back to Jean she immediately grabbed his hand again. Jean sighed in silence. "Don't come outside okay?" Jean said to the boy before he opened the door swiftly grabbing a gun. He went outside with the girl, more far away from the shack. "Is it going to hurt?" Jeanne asked. Jean clenched his teeth. "No. You'll feel better soon" he replied. It started to snow. "See those beautiful snowflakes? Wanna count them for me?" Jean asked and smiled. The girl started counting the little snowflakes and faced Jean with her back. Jean breathed out and aimed at the girl. A single gun shot was heard.

 

Marco kept the boy close to his shoulders and saw from the corner of his eye Jean taking the gun... Marco asked himself for the thousandth time for what fucking reason did this apocalypse come down ? "Hey Jack, buddy, wanna sing ? What's your favorite song? Can you sing it for me ?" he asked to the boy. Jack nodded dumbfounded and started to sing. Oh god, the worst thing was that this kid could sing. "Louder, I can't hear you" Marco said. "Louder" he repeated. Soon the boy's voice was loud enough to fill the whole shack's space and maybe even reached outside. And a gun shot got heard between two notes of the little boy's song. His heart shattered but Jean did the best thing to do. Marco gulped and said "Continue" so Jack would focus on something else than the 'bang' they just heard.

 

Jean's hand started trembling right after the corpse fell towards the ground, turning the snow around it red. Jean clenched a fist again and sank to his knees. He has had to do it once and now again. He was the one who had to shoot her, he has been the one taking a look at her, he's been the one informing the boy and he's been the one always calming Marco down. Jean sat down for real and brought his knees to his chest, pressing his hands against his face. Even himself was not strong enough to feel nothing when doing something like that. He was always hiding it but he needed comfort too. He started crying pretty much. At least he stopped the suffering of the girl. But Jean felt extremely guilty he has been wrong yesterday.

 

Jean wasn't coming back. Marco wanted to go to him but he silently promised to not let Jack alone. By that time the child stopped singing and started to cry again, buried making himself minuscule in Marco's arms. Marco didn't cry, right now he couldn't. And Jean would be the one having nightmares from now on, just this thought was violently making everything torn inside Marco. He caressed the ash-blond hair a moment to soothe the kid as much as he could, keeping him secure against his shoulder.

 

Even though Jean felt the worst he was glad he didn't let Marco do it. Shooting someone, especially a little kid was one of the worst things to go through. Jean had so hoped he'd have to never do it again. But well, seems like no. Jean took his time to calm down again. He stood up and grabbed the girl's body. He found a place to quickly bury her before coming back to the shack. Sure he didn't look like he just cried he entered. "Your sister won't suffer anymore" Jean said and looked at the kid.

 

Marco tried to cut all thoughts coming to him and waited for Jean to be back inside. When he did, Marco tried to get Jean's eyes locked with his but he quickly lost it. Marco could notice during this short instant Jean must have cried. Anyone would cry in this situation because to have to kill your own kind, especially a kid... Jack got his face out of Marco's chest and showed a thankful smile to Jean and voiced shakily "Thank you. I don't want her to feel any pain".

 

"She didn't feel pain and doesn't anymore" he replied with a surprisingly clear voice. Jean scratched his neck. "I'm sorry I was wrong. Yesterday, she seemed super fine I- I don't get it" Jean said and sat down on a chair. His previous group members, the ones he had to shoot because they were turning looked already bad after the first evening. Maybe it was because of her age? Fuck Jean didn't know. He locked the gun and put it on the table. What a morning...

 

Jack nodded offering a polite smile. Marco stood up and carried Jack in his arms to go sit near Jean. "This wasn't your fault in any way" Marco replied to him and (did something he thought over and over again without doing it before) caressed Jean's cheek and neck with the tip of his fingers. "I... Thank you. I-I know I wouldn't have the strength to end this" he added losing his brown eye over Jean's features.

 

Jean knew it wasn't his fault that this happened in the first place. It just wasn't. But if he already knew yesterday, the suffering would have been shorter than it was. Jean was just glad the kid didn't hate him for what he had to do. Jean watched Marco and Jack sitting down at the little table. He flinched a bit in surprise when Marco touched his cheek. Jean looked down. "No problem. You went through enough" he said. Marco's hand was warm and kinda comforting but Jean backed up before he'd get too much into it which would look pretty obvious of how he still felt for Marco.

 

Marco's voice softened and he said "You went through a lot too...". Jean was already getting out of Marco's reach but somehow Marco refused that now. He patted Jean's shoulder once before he moved his own chair to stick it side to side with Jean's chair. "But you got me now and we'll get through this together" he declared and slid an arm around Jean's shoulders. Marco couldn't let Jean alone after killing a kid, Jean needed to feel that he was alive and that he did the right thing. Everything was hard to deal with since this apocalypse...

 

Jean looked at Marco. Everybody went through much, but in Jean's opinion especially Marco had it hard. Jean somehow wanted to go outside again, being by his own. But before he could stand up, Marco moved his chair to Jean's. The boy in the meantime stood up and went to the bedroom. He probably needed some time alone. Jean's eyes widened in surprise and he blushed a bit when Marco put an arm around his shoulder. Jean took his time before he leaned against Marco exhausted.

 

Marco's heart finally lightened. Jean did what Marco wished he would do. Marco rubbed Jean's arm slowly and wished they could stay like this a while.

 

"Why is this all happening" Jean murmured. It felt good in Marco's arms but Jean couldn't cry. Somehow he just couldn't. "I don't want to anymore" he said and ran a hand over his face. He leaned a bit more in and rested his head against Marco's chest. Right now it wasn't awkward. Even when they were friends. "I'm glad I could do it for you and I'd to it again if it means you don't have to. But why do I have to do everything in the first place" Jean began and pressed a hand against his face again.

 

Marco felt like crying now... Seeing Jean broken was harder than being it himself. Marco moved his hand to caress Jean's hair slowly. He didn't care at this stage about friendship or not. When Jean was feeling sad, he belonged to Marco's arms and could stay here all he wanted.

 

It was surprising but as soon as Marco started caressing Jean's hair, tears were blobbing up in his eyes. Jean bit his lip to choke them down. "Why did she had to die" he said. "Why did I had to do it again" he added.

 

Marco slightly panicked inside as Jean started to break physically now but Marco breathed and let it go. Jean needed Marco and the freckled guy wasn't allowed to freak out because of this. He wrapped both arms around Jean and brought him closer to his chest. "Don't keep it inside Jean" he whispered and rubbed Jean's whole back. The only feeling left in Marco now was his overflowing love for Jean and he wanted to wrap the thinner guy in it and let it cover him like a warm and comforting veil. For the rest, Marco's chest was empty. He thought about Jack. What will the young boy do from now on ? He'll live with the tragic circumstances of the death of her sister haunting him day and night...

 

Jean started trembling slightly when Marco hugged him. He did want to keep it inside, but that didn't work so well. "Marco..." he started and wanted to say anything so he wouldn't start to cry again but the tears were already streaming down his face. It was embarrassing but Jean couldn't stop it. It was the first time someone comforted him after something like that.  
    
Finally Jean cried huh ? Marco was frowning and everything grew painful inside again. All this rotten part of him let place to the other part that was able to feel pain and sadness. He embraced Jean tighter showing him that he wouldn't let go. "I'm here Jean" Marco said.

 

It was just like the last time. Just that Marco had been the one crying and Jean had held him in his arms. "It's not fair!" he said and cried more. "She was so young. A-And I killed her."

 

Ouch. Marco must have been squeezing him very tight at this point. "No Jean. No. You saved her. You saved her from hurting- Jean you didn't kill her just to kill her. And Jack didn't have to suffer to see his sister he loved so much turning into a zombie. You know how it is Jean. You didn't kill her" Marco whispered to him for a moment.

 

Jean started sobbing a bit. Of course he knew he didn't have killed her 'just like that' but he shot her and that was not deniable. "I-I thought I couldn't do it. I was struggling" he replied. "It was so hard" he said. Then he just cried and cried. It has been a long time since he had cried like that. Jean was more the silent one when it came to this. Even now he wanted to go somewhere alone so it wouldn't harm his pride. But in Marco's arms it felt okay.

 

"She wouldn't have survived and you knew it inside you. You're strong that's why you have done the right thing to do" Marco murmured before he stopped talking and let Jean escape from his usual tough character and cry. Marco waited for him to calm down even though it would take longer than hours to get over this. But Marco told him before, they'd go through this together.

 

Jean pretty much took his time to calm down. When he was crying - which didn't happen often - he was crying for long or pretty heavy. Once done with crying he stayed in Marco's arms a bit more. But he probably couldn't stay in Marco's arms forever so he backed up soon. "You- you should go see after the kid" Jean said.

 

Marco parted from Jean as this one backed up after a while. It was.. A long while but Marco was glad Jean could have let it out. Marco asked unsure and quietly "You're sure ? I-.. I don't want to let you alone".

 

Jean took a deep breath and then looked at Marco. "I am fine. You don't leave the shack so you don't let me alone" he said. Jean needed time for himself.

 

Marco understood Jean needed time alone. But he still was worried about his state. Marco's state was terrible as well but it wasn't the point here. "Ok then" he replied and went to the other room. Yesterday... A few hours ago they were two, sleeping in this bed. Now Jack must have cried so much he fell asleep. Marco walked closer and took the blanket higher on the child's body. The small boy seemed even smaller now... And younger, more vulnerable and fragile. Marco sat on the edge of the bed and ran a gentle hand in the boy's hair. Nobody deserved to live a morning like this. Well, maybe Marco deserved it. He had made so worst during his leader time. But it shouldn't have an impact on what Jean had to go through.

 

Jean watched Marco go to the bedroom. He sighed and ran his hands through his face. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully this night. When he first had to shoot those two who got bitten in one of his previous groups, Jean has been haunted by terrible nightmares. And now he would go through it all again. Jean just sat there, doing nothing, saying nothing.

 

Marco didn't dare go in the other room for now, letting time for Jean to make some thinking alone. Marco though focused on the sounds that could be heard. If Jean when outside then Marco would immediately got him back. Jean simply couldn't go after the shock had been given. But no, a single crack reached Marco and he started to question himself. An hour might have passed. Maybe two. Not three. But it was enough and Marco walked to the entrance.

 

It was always the same. Doing something awful, crying, calming down, feeling nothing. Jean didn't know how long he just sat there when Marco came back. Jean looked up slowly. "Is he alright?" he simply asked. From now on Jean had to deal with this on his own, mentally. But nevertheless he was thankful for Marco being there for him. "No matter what happened in the past you have a good heart" he said.

 

"Yeah" Marco nodded and walked a few steps to sit next to Jean. His brain paused, needing time to understand what Jean just said. "Oh, is that so ?" he replied. Marco knew he was different from before but this ugly part was still anchored in him and he couldn't let go of it.

 

Jean nodded. "Yes it is. I'm so thankful you're here. With me." Jean reached to quickly hug Marco again before backing up. "So I guess we're even now huh" he said and chuckled slightly. "I was with you when you cried and now you were with me" he explained. Then Jean looked down again. He already feared the night. Bye bye good sleep.

 

"We are" Marco agreed with a small sad smile. He wished they wouldn't have to be even. Marco looked at the door of the other room and back to Jean. "The kid is still sleeping. You want to go hunt something to eat with me ?" Marco asked. It would change their mind at the least.

 

Jean looked up again and nodded. "I guess that's fine, let's go hunting" he said and stood up in silence, grabbing his bow. "Should we write a letter? If he wakes up and we're not here he maybe starts panicking" he said and looked in Marco's eye.

 

Jean's eyes were red and Marco would just kiss his eyelids if he could. "Oh, yeah right" Marco replied. They wrote something on a small piece of something and now they were ready to go.

 

"Ready?" Jean said and opened the door. They walked outside. It wasn't snowing anymore, that was good. It'd be easier to hunt something. Jean looked around because he could see a bit better as Marco. And so they started hunting.

 

Things went well somehow... After this morning and Jeanne gone, Marco was glad to be kept from more drama. They ate together and Jack was still asleep so Marco was waiting now for the boy to wake up so he'd eat something. During this time, Marco talked with Jean lightly to prevent him from getting too dark thoughts. This was a painful day that would end in a few hours.

 

The hunting went pretty good. They came back quick and Jean prepared the food as always. The boy was still asleep. Jean was glad Jack could sleep in the first place. Jean and Marco ate something and talked. Marco was strangely talkative. The day went by fast and it got dark pretty soon. Jean sighed mentally. He didn't want to sleep, he knew what'd come. "The boy's still asleep huh? Should we wake him so he gets something to eat?" Jean asked putting the left over food in storage. "I'm glad he can sleep like this- I mean after losing his sister" Jean said, a slight bitterness in his voice.

 

"Yeah, he needs to get some energy stored" Marco replied as he stood to go wake the boy. Before Marco tried to talk about things keeping them at bay from mentioning Jeanne. But at the end of the day it was hard to keep it like this. Jack was still sleeping, he hadn't moved since Marco checked on him some hours ago. He walked closer and sat on the edge of the bed again. The boy looked like he has been paused. Not dead but not alive. Marco sighed deep and loud and finally woke the kid, shaking his small shoulder gently.

 

Jean watched Marco walk to the bedroom once again and sighed. He ran a hand over his face before he prepared a little plate for Jack. What should the boy do from now on? Jean doubted that this little boy was made for coming with them, with no rest sometimes maybe no shelter. Jean thought about it. He knew a group which was oweing him a favor. They'd take Jack for sure but how to find them? Jean sighed again and put the plate on the little table where yesterday they sat in 4.

 

After some long minutes, the boy emerged from sleep and when he noticed Marco tears started to drown his cheeks again. Marco took the boy in his arms and five minutes after, Jack was still crying, Marco decided to carry him to the table in the next room. The kid needed to drink a lot of water and eat.

 

Jean looked down as he heard the boy crying from the other room. Jean clenched a fist again and punched the table before pressing his hand against his face again. As soon as Jean had calmed down a bit he looked up because Marco came back to the entrance, carrying Jack to the table. The boy was still crying.

 

Marco showed a sorry smile to Jean and then sat next to the crying boy. He said in an overly caring voice, because that just was how Marco was, "Jack... Hey now, drink this. And if you feel like eating something Jean prepared you some good thing". His cheeks continued to be watered but Jack nodded and picked a ridiculously small bite off his plate. "Good... You're a good kid" Marco cheered softly and handed the water to the boy.  
    
Jean couldn't watch this. He was glad the boy was eating and drinking but Jean couldn't see him cry. "I'll get us some more wood for the night" he said and stood up. Just to be sure he grabbed his knife because it was dark outside by now.

 

Marco stopped in his doing and turned to Jean definitely. "Jean, come here a sec'" he asked.

 

He was just in front of the door when Marco spoke up. Jean stopped. "What is it?" he asked in a tired voice and turned back around to Marco.

 

Jean wasn't coming huh ? Marco stood up and went to him instead. And hugged him quickly but tight. "Be careful" he whispered to him before he let go. "Be careful outside indeed ....but be careful about your own thoughts. Don't let them torment you when you're alone" he asked even quieter.

 

Jean closed his eyes for a second and breathed in deep when Marco went and hugged him. "I'll be careful, don't worry" he said when Marco let go. Without another word he went outside. He couldn't stay longer inside this shack watching the boy cry. He'd just be out for less than an hour. Jean was quick picking up wood and sticks.

 

Marco was worried and scared about Jean closing up on himself. "M-marco" he heard and returned to take care of the boy. Marco wished he could just time skip a few years and be finally living his dream of housing with Jean and if possible this little kid would have a promising future somewhere. Jack had eaten like two bites out of his plate and maybe sipped a bit of the water. Not less not more. Marco sat next to him and said "I'm here, what is it ?".

 

Outside Jean felt a little better. But just a little bit. At some point he just sat down on a stone, finally having time for himself. Jean looked at the scenery to get not too deep lost in his thoughts. After some time went by, he decided to go back to the shack. He grabbed everything he collected and walked towards it.

 

Jack looked down showing off an innocent expression of guilt. And what he asked explained that expression. "Marco where is Jeanne n-now ? Jean said th-that she won't feel pain anymore". Half through the sentence he let out some tears again. Marco's heart felt like being crushed added to being run over. "Jeanne.. Jeanne is... Jeanne is now somewhere where she can look after you, and she can tell if you're still being a good big brother to her or not.  So behave like a good boy, understood ? She'll be proud of you from where she is. Far now" he explained while avoiding the three words that couldn't pass his lips.

 

Jean came back quickly and opened the door. It seemed like they talked. "I'm back" Jean said and placed the wood in a corner. He then sat down on the chair again. By now it was pretty late and Jean was tired. But he didn't want to go to sleep.

 

"I-I promise to make her proud !" Jack said from the heart and frowned, kinda like someone Marco knew well. "That's great" Marco replied though he was relieved to not have to pronounce the fatal words. Jack ate a half more of his plate and asked Marco if he could get out of the table now. Marco really had a child before his eyes. Jean came back when Marco agreed to let the boy return to the room. "Welcome home" Marco said God knew why. By habit ? Maybe not. Because he felt relieved to see Jeanwas safe ? Maybe. Anyway now they could call it a day and go rest. If they could... Tonight would be hard for the three of them but mostly for Jean and Marco wanted to support him in any ways possible.

 

Jean blushed slightly. 'Welcome home huh' he thought. How he'd love to hear those words everyday when he came home from a stressful day of work and Marco would wait for him the lovely husband he was. But well they were here, killing to survive. "It's pretty quiet outside, we shouldn't get any problems this night" Jean said and sat down to his 'sleeping place'. He quickly put the rest of the cream on his leg which was doing pretty good and laid down. He sighed in silence.

 

"You still have enough of the cream left ?" Marco asked curious. Little Jack was already in the other room and Marco walked to kneel down close to Jean.

 

"Not much but I don't need much anymore" Jean replied. "I can walk and run pretty normal by now so I guess it's fine. You should go to sleep now" Jean said and smiled slightly. It was a stressful day after all...

 

"Hm, okay. You want to sleep here ?" Marco asked to be sure. After all... Now there was enough place in the small bedroom but it might be too much.

 

"Where else should I sleep? The kid can sleep in the bed. It's not like I'm not used to a floor as a bed" Jean said and chuckled slightly. "Maybe you should go and sleep by him" he then said. Jean had no clue about children but Jack felt pretty much lonely. And Marco was so good with kids... "You'd make a good father one day" Jean stated out of the blue.

 

This hurt Marco's heart in another way than a sad one. And though Marco could in fact go and look after the kid, he would regret letting Jean sleep alone in this cold room. "Can't let you alone" he replied shortly after. "And, ehm, thanks-" he added looking shyly away. This kind of compliment was stronger than a compliment about his features or something of the sort. Because Marco let children die... Because he couldn't pardon himself. So this one compliment had a particular meaning to him. It meant that maybe, maybe one day he would get his chance to make up for his past, if he 'd get the chance to have children on his own.

 

"Okay. If you wanna sleep here, then sleep here" Jean said and smiled. "And I really mean it. You're pretty good with kids. But that doesn't surprise me much" he said and chuckled slightly. He stretched himself for a moment then laid on his side. "Good night" he said.

 

Jean seemed almost alright. And it scared Marco as much as it reassured him. "Ok. Good night Jean" he replied before he laid on his side and closed his eyes. Marco used the first part of the night to rest, even though he didn't really sleep. Jeanne's voice was coming to him, reminding every minute that went by from this scream coming from outside to the reverberating sound of the gunshot.

 

Jean closed his eyes. He fell asleep quickly, he was exhausted after a day like this. This day has drained his body way too much. He didn't want to sleep though. First he slept surprisingly calm. But soon the dream he was dreaming changed, grew darker and the girl, shot in the head stood before him. And then everything went just crazy. Jean woke up with a scream, trembling and breathing heavily.

 

At some point of the night, Marco thought of getting fresher air from outside. Something to change his mind. And what was expected to happen didn't let him the opportunity to do anything. Jean screamed and sat up crazily fast. Oh god... Marco had promised him they would go through this together. The freckled guy moved closer to Jean prudently and waited for any reaction before doing anything. What if he just hugged Jean like he wanted to do but this latter pushed Marco away ? It wouldn't do any good.

 

Jean ran a hand through his face and tried to calm down again. He didn't notice any person around him. He just closed his eyes shut. Once somehow calm he sat up straight and looked around. His gaze met Marco's. Jean furrowed his eyebrows before he hugged his best friend.

 

Jean ended up being the one hugging Marco. And the look of hurt Marco saw on him was devastating. Marco hugged him back so tight, not letting go, supporting him all through this. He couldn't say comforting words like 'it's okay' 'everything's fine' because it was not. But they would be strong together. Marco let to Jean the time he needed and caressed tenderly the bottom of hi hair and nape.

 

Normally Jean wasn't a clingy one, but somehow the first reaction after waking up was for him to be close to Marco. And Marco hugging him back tight like this helped. It was warm and somehow comforting in his arms. "It's starting all over again" Jean said and whined a bit.

 

"You'll be able to stand again" Marco replied in a whisper and smoothed Jean's hair back. "You've done what had to be done" he added. But Jean may have it hard at night for a long time, that was right. Marco was more than used to those restless nights for his part.

 

Jean shook his head slowly. "It's starting all over again" he repeated. "I had to do it once and it took me fucking forever to sleep without waking up in the night. If you want to sleep for the next time stay away" he explained and started trembling slightly again. He didn't want Marco to wake up every night just because of him.

 

Okay let's say this made Marco slightly mad. "You think I will let you deal with this a second time and alone ?! Just to get to sleep more ? Jean... First of all I rarely have the chance to taste a full night of sleep because of the nightmares. I know how it feels. Don't count on me to let you down now" he said first and declared "I'll sleep with you at night -won't let you alone.. I can't- I can't let you fight against it alone. I can't... I can't".

 

Jean winced slightly when Marco started talking like that. "I know you have them too but every night you're traveling with me I never saw you struggling or waking up because of your dreams! So that makes no sense!" he said and sighed. He did want Marco by his side. God he wanted Marco to be his. But Jean didn't want to let Marco wake up every night because of him. "Then- then stay here. But why can't you?"

 

If Marco wasn't struggling that much anymore, that was in fact thanks to Jean... That night he went down to see him in his cell was the last time he really spent one of those terrifying restless nights. "I'll stay" he replied first and said "Why can't I ? I- I couldn't stand to hear you scream and cry at night alone, fighting something unbeatable alone, when I'm here with you. I, ehm, I don't know how you feel about it though... I-I wish I could have been here for you when this happened before for the first time. Actually I wish it never happened at all in the first place".

 

Jean listened to Marco's words and never interrupted him once. When Marco finished Jean rested his head against Marco's shoulder. "We're pretty fucked huh" he said and sighed. Should he..? "Uhm- I know it's sounds awkward and all but well you're my best friend, so do you mind me sleeping a bit... closer?" Jean asked blushing the slightest. Maybe not being alone would help more than trying to fight on his own like Jean always did.

 

Marco sighed back. "So that's what you think ?" he replied chuckling a bit. He patted Jean on his shoulder with the hand that was before locked in his ashblond hair. "Of course I don't mind, man" he said backing up a bit to offer Jean a smile that turned up maybe too loving to be friendly.

 

"Yeah I do. We're living in a fucked up world after all" Jean replied and let out a chuckle. Jean sighed in relief mentally when Marco was okay with Jean being closer. And god this smile... The only thing Jean wanted to do now was to kiss Marco. His gaze went down to Marco's smiling lips. Why did he want it so bad in the first place ? Before Jean could think further he quickly looked away. "Okay that's good" he replied and laid down again.

 

Marco nodded and kept that smile waiting for the time Jean would want to 'cuddle'. 'yeah, in your dreams Marco' he told himself. Jean looked down a bit and laid down so Marco laid close to him.

 

Once Marco laid down Jean scooted closer. He didn't look up once by doing so. Jean was close enough to feel the warmth coming from Marco. Seriously how could this freckled guy be so warm?? Jean would love to snuggle against Marco now but he forbad it himself. He couldn't do that especially because he was still awake and aware of what he was doing. And no matter how nice Marco was to Jean it was 'just' because they were best friends and nothing else.

 

Since they went to sleep quite early in the evening, they still had a half of the night that Marco hoped would help them gather up energy this time. Jean didn't loose his time and Marco welcomed this fact gladly. After a moment where none of them moved, Marco slid an arm around Jean and made him scoot even closer. This was literally the best when outside it was surely snowing again. Jack would be asleep a long time again Marco supposed from what he saw of the boy when he was awake a few hours before. The small boy's body was certainly mourning as well.

 

Jean had already closed his eyes when he suddenly felt a strong arm around him. He felt how he got pulled close to Marco, his head against Marco's neck. Jean didn't dare to look up right now, he was probably too red. So he closed his eyes again and relaxed in Marco's arm. He remained silent even though he wanted to know why Marco was doing this. Maybe Jean just didn't want to get the answer which threw him forever in the friendzone.

 

Marco was comfortable enough to rest a bit now. He closed his eyes and let sleep take him away. In his sleep he may have embraced Jean even more but he wasn't conscious of it. It just felt good, warm and it felt right. After a day of the sort it was fair that even best friends shared some human warmth. Though it was still an innocent way to do so. Yeah, best friends that's it.

 

Jean noticed that Marco fell asleep quickly. That was good. For Jean it was harder to fall asleep again. He so hoped it'd work and he wouldn't wake up because of his nightmares. Jean shouldn't do it. But as Marco hugged him unconsciously tighter, Jean rested a hand on Marco's chest and snuggled against him. He just could do it because Marco was asleep. Then Jean closed his eyes and after a looong time, he finally fell asleep.

 

The little boy woke up. Everything was blurry around him for a few minutes. Where was Jeanne ? Jeanne... Jeanne wasn't here... Maybe she was in the other room. Jack slid off bed to stand on his unstable feet and walked to the other room. Jeanne... Jeanne wasn't here. Jack glimpsed at two stuck-together bodies. It was Marco and Jean. Oh yes now he remembered. Jean promised him that Jeanne wouldn't feel pain. Jeanne wasn't here anymore because awful zombies attacked her. His poor lovely little sister wouldn't smile to him anymore. Jack walked and sat at Jean and Marco's feet, taking his knees to his chest and waited. The two grown ups were still sleeping.

 

They slept like this for some time. And it helped. Jean was still trembling slightly but he didn't wake up for some time. He didn't know for how long he slept but he woke up again, flinching because of his nightmare. At least he didn't scream this time... Jean looked up at Marco. He looked even more beautiful and peaceful when he was asleep... Jean ran his hand slightly over Marco's chest, just enough that he didn't wake up. Then Jean heard a sound in front of him. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked up - and there Jack just sat. Jean quickly freed himself from Marco and sat up. "Uh what are you doing here? Can't you sleep?" Jean asked and tried to sound not too surprised.

 

Marco's mind went pitch black as he slept there. At least no nightmare. He was tensed still but somehow a few times in the night something soothed this tension. A ...hand ? He didn't notice what it was but it made it easy for Marco during those short moments. He finally woke up from this lethargic state when Jean escaped his arms. He rubbed his face and noticed the kid sat here at their feet. Jack looked up at Jean when this one suddenly awoke and talked to him. "I thought she was in the other room" he replied simply and stood to come sit closer. The kid was almost glued to Marco.

 

Jean hoped the kid didn't watch him when he had drooled over Marco. Now his freckled friend woke up too. What the boy said made Jean immediately tense up again. He didn't know what to say to Jack so he just looked down.

 

Marco wasn't glad to wake up in this gloomy and tensed atmosphere. He just realized the meaning of this last sentence and, a bit shock himself by the rawness of how Jean expressed his feelings. Marco rubbed Jean's back gently. Jean couldn't take it the way the boy meant it, that was obvious. "You know he couldn't hold a grudge against you, right ? He's ten. He's just still under the shock" Marco asked overworried right now.   
Jack sat close to Marco and the freckled man let out a very small chuckle. He carried Jack and sat the small kid on his lap. "You ok ?" he asked with a caring smile.

 

Jean looked away and pressed his lips together. He couldn't reply to the boy, he just couldn't. At least Marco could talk with Jack. It seemed like the little kid liked Marco pretty much. His sister has been way more clingy to Jean. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down while Marco talked with the boy.

 

The little boy nodded and leaned on Marco's chest and closed his eyes. Marco sighed... Children were the most touched by this apocalypse. The few ones still living were already destroyed inside.   
Jean was looking away and Marco was very worried about him. God, Jean, the love of his life suffering like this was extremely hard to bear. "Jean... You want to come here ? Or to do something like breakfast or taste the fresh air?" Marco asked as he patted the floor on his very side. He didn't want Jean to drown again in painful thoughts.

 

Jean looked at Marco when this one spoke to him. The boy was already in Marco's arms again. Marco with a kid in his arms was a perfect sight. He nodded slowly. "Yeah... I'll make us some breakfast..." he murmured and stood up. He grabbed the things needed. They had no apples left, so the rest of the meat it would be. In winter it was extremely rare to find fruits or something like that after all.

 

"Thank you" Marco replied and tried to get Jean's eyes to meet him but there again, Jean wouldn't open so easily even to Marco. Marco glanced down and gulped. He would have to deal with this kind of atmosphere for a few days anyway but someone needed to keep the three of them steady and it was Marco's duty for now. He stood up with Jack in his arms and went to take a look outside. And... Shit- he quickly closed the door again. A few people were walking, thirty meters far from the shack.

 

Jean was in the mid of preparing breakfast when he got surprised by Marco closing the door shut. "What is it??" he asked and put everything down. He went to the door and opened it a bit to see what has shocked Marco so much. There were people walking by...

 

Marco started to pack their things by reflex after letting Jack down the floor. He hoped they would just pass and not bother about the shelter here. But there were low probabilities of this happening.

 

Jean tried to see if he knew the little group or if they had weapons, seemed bad or something like this. Marco was already packing their things. The people walking outside got closer. Jean was unsure if he knew them or not. But seeing the shack from the outside was simple, it was no wonder they came closer.

 

Marco couldn't really do anything. He waited, maybe Jean would tell him what to do... Jack was gripping at Marco's leg for the time being. Marco let out a silent chuckle, really this child was clingy.

 

Jean remained silent to the moment he knew if they should go or prepare for a fight or anything. They couldn't flee easy like that, the group was way too close. They came closer and Jean sighed in relief. "I know them" he said and looked at Marco. "Even if they'd come here, they won't do anything to us. You're with me after all" Jean said.

 

Marco was surprised... He nodded and put some things down. He caressed Jack's blond air absentmindedly and waited.

 

Yup, they were definitely approaching the shack. But who wouldn't when searching for a shelter. Jean nodded and opened the door. It would cause more trouble if they came in. He stepped outside. The people noticed him and waved. A girl with brown hair called his name and ran towards him. Jean got hugged and he had to take a few steps back in order not to fall.  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let us kudos or comments to tell us how you like it ❤


	23. Clarisse and Luna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I am so sorry for the delay ! I was too busy up till now but I'll try to post a few more chapters in the next days to make up for it.   
> Please let us know what you think of the story so far, and hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter !

Marco went to the door to see who that was in the end. And, it was absolutely not the time but something started to burn in him as this brown-haired girl hugged his Jean. Okay, it was not his Jean technically but Marco sure wanted it to be that way. "Why are you frowning ?" Jack asked from beside him. Marco looked down arching his previously furrowed eyebrows. "Oh. Nothing, don't worry. Look, Jean found some friends" he replied and nodded in the direction of Jean and the few persons around him.

 

"I can't believe we found you here, Jean-y" the girl said and grinned. "Please don't call me that" Jean replied grumpy. The girl chuckled and let go. The other members of the group came. A woman, two guys a bit older than Jean and a 12 years old boy. All of them looked pretty happy to see Jean. This one turned around to Marco and Jack. "Uhm you don't have to worry, I know them. I was with them for a while" he explained.

 

Marco smiled gently and nodded. Marco was kinda upset about the situation actually but he scolded himself. It was the way Marco the heartless leader would think and not how Marco who wanted to confess to his best friend should think. He stepped outside with Jack still glued to him and greeted Jean's acquaintances.

 

"What are you doing here?" Jean asked once everyone had greeted him. "We're heading towards a little village on the way to the big city. It's not far away from here and we wanted a better place for the winter than just a small camp with tents" the old woman explained and stepped forward. "What are you doing here?" the younger girl asked and smiled brightly at him, not leaving Jean's side. "And who are you?" the old woman asked Marco and Jack with a friendly smile on her face.

 

Marco's bad habit flew back amazingly fast and he just wanted to slap this girl for acting like she was so close to Jean. As if they were... As if they have been... Wait- wait, no, Jean told Marco he was gay. There was no way Marco guessed right on this. He sighed and decide to trust Jean because it always was the best thing to do. The old woman asked about him. "My name's Marco. I'm Jean's childhood friend" he explained, accentuating this second sentence as he stared at the touchy-feely girl."-Jack" got heard from the boy now hiding secured behind Marco's leg.

 

The woman nodded and smiled. "Nice to meet you two" she said. The boy from Jean's previous smiled shyly and started talking to Jack. No wonder. "No way!" the girl let out and bumped Jean's shoulder. "That's THE Marco? Your freckled childhood friend you always talked about? You found him??" she said. "I'm so glad for you!" she said and hugged Jean again. "And you're right, he really is ho-" she wanted to continue but Jean quickly kicked her leg slightly. No way she would speak out what Jean had said about Marco! "So uhm you guys can come in for a second I guess. If that's fine with Marco and Jack" he said and looked at them. There was one good thing about this situation: Jean was distracted from getting dark thoughts.

 

"Nice to meet you as well" Marco replied politely as he pushed Jack with care from behind his leg.   
Marco grew more than surprised by this slightly-annoying-girl's reaction. But what she just resumed to say made Marco's chest feel warm in this cold temperature. But the hug wasn't necessary... Marco frowned. When Jean mentioned his name, Marco looked up and said "Oh uhm ye-yes, come in. This shack is ridiculously small though", then smiled to the group as he opened the door for them. At least one good thing was that Jean seemed to let aside the thoughts weighing him.

 

The group thanked Marco and everybody went it. It was enough space, it was not like they started living inside this shack. The children were already chatting lightly - well the older one more than Jack. The girl sat immediately next to Jean. "I guess we should introduce us huh? I'm Margaret" the woman said and smiled again. "Those two are Phil and Josh. Don't be confused, they can't speak. And this little guy is Nico" she said and pointed at the boy. "And I'm Clarisse" the girl said and grinned.

 

Marco nodded engraving each name in his mind. They all sat somehow apart from the two tall guys. Marco sat on Jean's other side, obviously jealous but he hoped no one would figure this out.

 

The girl leaned over Jean to look at Marco. "So you're the childhood friend huh? Jean talked about you a lot but I never imagined you to be so..." she looked up and down Marco's body, "manly. Muscular and all." Oh yeah that was right. Jean couldn't even remember good how Marco looked before the apocalypse without the eyepatch and with no muscles.

 

Marco managed not to choke. This girl was always voicing her thoughts out loud and straight like that ?? He gathered some sort of composure again replied "Well, you can say that I haven't always been that way".

 

"Huh I see..." she said and nodded. She grabbed Jean's arms. "So what did you do the last months without us? Tell me!" Clarisse said and smiled. "It's been a long time. But we knew you wouldn't be dead. Not Jean" the older woman said and smiled.

 

'Could you be nice enough to let go of Jean now ?' Marco voiced in his head maybe loud enough for others to notice. Marco got cut in his immature thoughts by the old woman. He looked up and smile to her. Somehow Marco felt proud of Jean. His best friend had the reputation of being a tough one huh ? Not surprising at all.

 

"Is everything okay?" Jean asked and looked at Marco who didn't seem so well. "And uhm to answer your question" Jean said and turned back to Clarisse and the others, "I was here and there, I did nothing spectacular" he replied and shrugged his shoulders. "But you found your best friend, Jean-y" the girl said and poked Jean's cheek grinning.

 

"Me ? Yeah" Marco replied grinning half-heartedly at Jean. Oh god this girl was annoying. Just because she was... A girl... being a man, Marco could never act freely like this in public with Jean. He shook his head a little bit. No, he couldn't think about those things, not when zombies were still devastating their world.

 

Jean could tell something was wrong with Marco, he looked a bit... pissed? "I was about to make breakfast so uh you guys can talk a bit more" Jean said and stood up because his stomach was growling. Margaret, the old woman, stood up too. "I help you my dear" she said. Meanwhile the rest of the group started chit chatting with Marco and Jack - which was pretty much talking non stop with the other boy. "Sooo" Clarisse began and sat closer to Marco, "you're the best friend? How come?" she asked.

 

Jean and Margaret stood apart and after a moment of innocent chitchatting, the girl attacked. Marco tried his best to not just scoot over and ignore her. "Hum yes, and how come what ?" he asked in a plain voice.

 

"Nothing" she replied and smiled. "You sounded nicer when Jean talked about you. Is something the matter ?" she asked. She looked from Marco to Jean and back. This one in the meantime chatted a bit with the woman and with the things the group had they could make a pretty good breakfast.

 

Marco suppressed a frown and smiled back to her. Though anyone knowing Marco could figure it was a pretty meaningless and cold smile. "Sorry to be a disappointment. Jean never told me about you by the way. From when do you know each other ?" this time genuinely curious.

 

"He never said anything? Ow that hurts. Well we met some time ago when he came to our group! One of the few people you want to spend time with for a longer time because they don't annoy you" she said and laughed. Then she grinned. "Why do even ask? Wait- are you jealous?" she asked and got a bit closer grinning. Good thing Jean was distracted at the moment...

 

"I-I'm not !" Marco spluttered and felt his cheeks warming up. God, this girl was making him act weirdly.

 

Clarisse let out a chuckle. "You don't have to. I mean we all now that Jean's a 10 and pretty hot. I have to say in the beginning I had a little tiny crush on him and he didn't want to feel bad for rejecting me so we made out a bit. But nothing more. You really don't have to be jealous. Then first of all he is gay and you know that pretty much yourself, right? Second no matter how attractive he is I have a girlfriend in the town we're heading for, I have no interest in Jean. And third, even if I was straight and would be attracted to him, I would never stand a chance. Do you want to know why?" she asked and leaned slightly forward.

 

"You ma-made out ??" Marco repeated in a shocked whispered. Okay he wasn't that shocked but somehow he hoped nothing ever happened between those two. Ugh, imagining them in each other's arm gave him nausea. Marco didn't know he had the capacity in himself to be this jealous.... He glanced at Jean. This one was smiling and chatting with Magaret. He was obviously happy and  seeing him in this state was ...well, it felt good. Clarisse said something about having a girlfriend in town. Marco changed dramatically his attitude. So this girl meant no harm, right ? Marco bumped her shoulder delicately and said smiling "-Wish you good luck with your girlfriend then ! And happiness". He then added curious... "Uhm, yeah, why ?"

 

"Just a bit geez I'm not into sucking dicks. I noticed pretty fast that kissing a boy didn't feel that good" she said and sighed dramatically. She let out a wide grin when Marco wished her luck and everything. "Thanks. Now you're suiting Jean's description way more" she said and chuckled. Then she got a bit more serious. She looked quickly at Jean before back at Marco. "Well you know I'd never stand a chance because..." she began but looked down smiling. "I hope you'll notice it yourself soon. It'd be too easy if I said it. Now I have to hope you're not a blind idiot who can't see the obvious things" she said and patted Marco's back surprisingly strong for a girl. "But I still like Jean as a friend and he is a pretty good one so it's nothing wrong with me being close to him right?" she said. Jean meanwhile had prepared everything. "Everyone, breakfast is ready" he said, gave everyone a little meal and sat again between Clarisse and Marco smiling at them.

 

This girl was going from rude to cheerful and back again seriously... But Marco could deal with this. He waited for her answer. And he got nothing out of this answer. "Just don't be TOO close" Marco replied quickly and turned his attention to Jean who went to sit between them again. During the meal he wondered about what she had just said. He had to notice... Notice what ? He remembered he gave this poor excuse to Jean as well when he was about to confess finally. Was Jean as lost as Marco about this ?

 

The girl stared at Marco for a while once Jean sat next to Marco again. But then she grinned widely and started eating. "So what did you guys talk over?" Jean asked and turned around to Marco, his mouth half-full with food.

 

"Finish your mouth before you talk" Marco said amused and chuckled. He was about to reply something but he couldn't just tell 'We talked about you, how I'm more jealous than I thought I could be, this girl's sexual orientation and also why she wouldn't date you. Oh, we talked about when you met each other too'. He thought and said smiling a bit "We got to learn more about each other."

 

"Sorry" Jean said and blushed slightly before he quickly finished. He then nodded. "Well that's cool. Everyone in here is pretty nice, they are one of the best groups I've been with" Jean said and smiled again before he continued eating. Clarisse looked at Jean. Hell yes she knew how Jean felt about Marco. Jean had told so much about this freckled guy it was obvious. But she couldn't just say that to this Marco. She chuckled and looked at her food. These guys were pretty much blind.

 

How Jean's reaction looked so cute to Marco ? It made the freckled guy grin brighter.   
Their lunch dragged a moment and Jean was smiling pretty much so Marco just let it be gladly. Jack as well seemed more at ease now. Maybe... Maybe they could make a bit of the way together. If they went in the same direction in the first place obviously.

 

They all continued eating and talking. It was kinda something else and pretty nice. The woman spoke up and looked at Marco. "So, how did you two meet? Jean told us you got separated when the apocalypse went down, so how did you find each other?" she asked and smiled. Jean looked at her. She was one of the old women which everybody loved like a grandma. She was actually one of the most warm-hearted and kind persons Jean knew.

 

Marco tensed up too much at that question. He didn't want to reply but it would so rude to let her wait for an answer. Marco glanced at Jean a bit panicked. What if they knew Marco's group ? Of course they knew Marco's group !

 

Jean looked at Marco quickly before he looked back at Margaret. "Uhm I got separated from my last group and somehow got to Marco's. Unfortunately we got attacked then and I had no other choice but to drag Marco with me, otherwise he'd be dead" he quickly explained. The woman nodded and smiled. "Then you can be glad you have Jean, Marco" she said.

 

Marco was grateful to Jean. He didn't mention what Marco couldn't bring himself to say. Marco replied solemnly with a "Sure". This put in a nutshell everything Marco felt for him, Marco was glad to have Jean. Lucky. 

 

Then they continued eating and finished pretty soon. "We should slowly get going now that we ate something. We want to reach the town before nightfall" the woman said with her smile. "If you want, you can come with us. Didn't you want to get to the big city anyway, Jean?" the girl asked and grinned. "Uhm yeah a bit more company would probably not harm anyone so uh just if Marco and Jack are fine with it" he said and looked at them.

 

Marco listened carefully to the infos being said. Clarisse proposed them to join and it wasn't a bad idea. Marco smiled diligently to Jean and nodded. The kid would follow obviously, he didn't have anyone else...

 

Jean smiled at them. So they would travel with a group then. "Okay, we'll come with you. It's not like we can stay in here forever" Jean said. "You can take your time to pack your things then, we'll go outside" the woman said. The two silent guys already went outside. They were weird but extremely skilled. The rest of the group followed and Jean started packing his things. "If we have luck we can get a complete house for our stay there" he said.

 

"I see" Marco replied focused on packing everything right. Everyone was here so Marco could act as usual. "Jean" he called him and said gently "I'm glad to see you smile like that around them. The bad thoughts can wait, enjoy your time okay ?"

 

Jean looked up when his name got called. "Hm?" What Marco said was kinda true. "I'll try" he said and smiled poorly. It was true though, that he could forget for a short time what had happened when he was distracted with talking to them. Everything was packed - the boy didn't have much with him anyway - and they went outside. Clarisse grinned brightly and walked next to Jean and Marco.  
 

They took the road and Clarisse joined the two best friends. Marco stared at her with a 'You gotta be kidding me' kind of look then looked ahead. They walked for a few hours, Clarisse talking non-stop, they got a speech on how she met her 'super cute-looking' girl and all. Marco didn't talk unless he was asked something to. When he first did after hours, it was to Jean, a bit worried he asked "Is your leg alright ? Any pain ?"

 

Clarisse looked at Marco and grinned her usual grin to him. Jean didn't notice anything of it. He was used to the girl talking non stop so it didn't bother him much. After some time of walking Marco spoke to him. "Huh? Uh yeah I guess it's fine. I mean it's not like walking is painless but I can walk for longer now" he said and smiled at Marco. "The cream helped a lot after all" he added and patted Marco's shoulder. "What happened to your leg?" Clarisse asked curious.

 

"Hm, good" Marco replied with a tiny smile. It was good as long as Jean was alright. Jean explained quickly what happened back then to Clarisse and this one started to chat again. Marco walked along and as the hours passed, he glanced at Jean from time to time to be sure he was still alright. 

 

Jean smiled. They walked for long, made some breaks and when nightfall came they already could see the town. "There it is!" Clarisse said and grinned. "We should hurry it's already dark" Jean said. Now he was a bit limping because he had walked for a whole day. Not that he would admit that.

 

Nightfall came and Jack walked closer to Marco now. The kid yawned many times so Marco carried him for the rest of their way to the town. They were finally reaching it when Marco noticed Jean was tiring himself much now.

 

Jean looked at Marco and the kid he was carrying. Without a doubt Jean believed that one day, when all this was over, he'd become a super good father. Jean was sure. At least he wished such a good future for his friend. They made their way down to the town. There some other people the group knew greeted and they got in. It was a pretty small village with lots of little shacks. "This was probably a camping ground or something like that I guess" Jean said towards Marco. "Okay then they don't have enough space for one person per house so we separate" the woman said. And soon they got houses in pairs. Strangely Clarisse was always about Jean and Marco HAD to get one shack. But he wouldn't complain. They waited for Jack's decision tho, he could come with the woman and the other boy, or with Marco. Clarisse was long by her girlfriend's side.

 

The 'town' was different from what Marco expected. It was more like... A small settlement. They had to get in the shacks and Marco thought Jack would be better with Magaret and Nico for the night because, really there wasn't much place in each cabin. They put their things inside and after they would go and eat together.

 

"You seem a bit... Disappointed" Jean said and chuckled. Well, Marco's base was bigger than this little 'town'. But it was good here, they could actually rest and heal. Jack went with Nico so there was more space for Jean and Marco. Inside the shack which was bigger than their previous one, they put their things down. Jean went to the bedroom. "Uhm Marco there aren't two beds" he said loud enough so his best friend would hear him. The bed was big enough for two but... really? Jean grumbled. That was Clarisse's idea for sure !

 

Marco chuckled back and agreed "I was expecting something bigger but that's maybe better this way". Marco put everything down carefully and went to the bedroom as Jean called. Apparently they had... A surprise. Marco forbad himself from turning red and replied by the dumbest logic "It is still better than sleeping on the hard ground".

 

"Well I guess you're right. Do you want to eat with the others? Margaret is making something for dinner" he said and looked at Marco. "We don't have to stay here for long. But I'm glad we can really rest now. I'll check on your back later okay?" he added and smiled at Marco.

 

"O-Ok. Uhm yes let's eat with them. It's good to socialize from time to time" he replied and chuckled slightly. Marco felt strangely excited for the night coming.

 

"Okay then. I guess Jack is waiting for you" he said. They went outside where they prepared a camp fire. This was actually pretty... beautiful. Jean sat down with Marco. He saw Clarisse with her girlfriend. Jean wanted to be so happy with Marco too! Well maybe one day.

 

Marco chuckled happily and said "The kid grew really attached, huh". Everyone was already outside so they joined and sat. Being cramped around the fire made a good excuse to be close to Jean. Marco was genuinely happy, the days they would spend here promised to be great. Jack was running with the other boy, Nico. And when he saw Marco and Jean he ran to them and slumped on top of Jean's back. "How are you doing guys ?" he asked beaming an instant before he sat comfortably on one of Marco's lap.

 

"He did. especially to you" Jean said and chuckled as well. They went outside and Jean let out an "ooofff!" as Jack slumped on his back. Jean looked at Marco searching for help. Marco helped and the boy sat on Marco's lap. Margaret brought everyone a plate full of food. Awesome !

 

"We're doing uhm... Great I guess" Marco replied as he looked happily at Jean. Anywhere with Jean would be good anyway. Jack nodded and waited for the food excited. Marco was hungry now and was glad to have something consistent to eat. Everyone ate around the fire, telling their stories one after one and laughing. It was a rare atmosphere to find nowadays.

 

Jean smiled at Marco. Somehow this felt great. The atmosphere was kinda good and Jean didn't have any dark thoughts. The evening went by pretty fast and soon they were back at the shack. "It's warmer in here than in the other shack huh?" Jean said and sat down on a chair. "After a long time a really nice evening..." he murmured and smiled.

 

Marco nodded and smiled too before he went and slumped on the bed. God, even the mattress was plump.

 

Jean looked at Marco and smiled. Marco went to bed and Jean decided he'd go to sleep as well. He laid down on his side of the bed. Somehow it was a bit weird they shared a bed just like that. And Jean wanted to sleep close to Marco again but... Well.

 

Marco tidied his things around, went to brush his teeth quickly and went to check out if Jack was ok for the night. "I come back soon" he informed Jean before he went outside. Jack was alright. He insisted on sharing a goodnight hug that made Marco laugh lightheartedly. The freckled man wished the three of them a good night and returned to his and Jean's shack. "Good night Marco ! Don't make too much noise" he heard from behind. Clarisse was still around the fire with her girlfriend. "Too much noise ?" Marco asked confused. "Yeah, like ...when you're growing too much into it" she replied in a sly voice and winked at him before she burst into laughter as Marco finally understood and grew way too red. He stuck his tongue out as his exclusive reply and resumed walking to his shack. This girl was impossible...

 

"Okay then, take your time" Jean said smiling when Marco was outside. He blushed a bit though because it just sounded like he was waiting for Marco's return. God he should stop with such thoughts. He turned to his side but didn't close his eyes. He didn't want to sleep. The day's been nice but the night would be awful and he knew it. Jean sighed.

 

Marco entered and got some clothes off for the night. After a small hesitation, he took his shirt off too because Jean said he would take a look at his now brand new large scar on the back. The stitches must be gone now by the time. He drank some water and went to the bed. Jean was already laying down on this double bed. As if he was... waiting for Marco. Oh god Marco couldn't dream of this now. He cleared his throat. "Jean... Can you- well, you said you would check if my back's good" he said trying not to sound awkward now.

 

Jean turned around and looked at Marco before he sat up. Why did Marco have such a hot body?! "Uhm yeah sure" he said. He stood up and examined the fresh scar. "I guess it has healed pretty good. The only thing left is a scar" he said and ran a finger over the shape of the scar. "It's not that big but I guess a scar is not bothering you" he said and chuckled before he quickly backed up. He wanted to touch Marco's back, goddammit. "I guess my leg will look pretty badass in a week" he said and sat down onto the bed again.

 

Marco tried his best to not shiver of pleasure when Jean ran a finger over his sensible skin. He wanted to get more of this feeling but it was kind of forbidden to him. He laughed back at Jean's comment. "Imagine going to the pool in a few years and showing off the badass scars" he joked. Marco then put a shirt back on and slid under the heavenly thick blanket.

 

Jean chuckled too. "I love the idea of being able to be at a pool in a few years" he said and stretched himself before he laid down. So... Now they laid here... Jean tried to stop himself from thinking wrong things.

 

Marco turned his back to Jean first because despite the fact that they were best friends, they were also both gay and more like Marco was gay for Jean... He tried to make it not to awkward. But what if Jean had nightmares again ? Moreover he sadly risked to. Thinking he needed to keep an eye on Jean, Marco turned to his other side.

 

"Good night Marco" Jean said and turned to face Marco first, smiling at him. Then he laid on his back and furrowed his eyebrows slightly. He didn't want to sleep at all. But tomorrow would be a new and probably good day. Although he wanted to sleep close to Marco.

 

Oh they were both grown up men so even in this double bed they were quite close. If it depended on Marco only they would lay closer though. "Good night Jean" he replied smiling in return and closed his eyes a moment as he tried to sleep. But with yesterday events it was obvious that he couldn't fall asleep just like that. Minutes went by and Marco kept his eye closed.

 

Jean turned back to his side and looked at Marco. He so wanted to just snuggle against him and maybe kiss him. Well, Jean scooted a bit closer just enough he could feel the warmth coming from Marco. Then he closed his eyes but couldn't fall asleep.

 

Marco opened his eye after a while when he admitted he wouldn't fall asleep now. Wasn't Jean closer ? He wondered furrowing his eyebrows a bit. Jean didn't seem to sleep peacefully either.

 

Jean opened his eyes as well because he couldn't sleep - and stared directly in Marco's. "S-Sorry" Jean said and got a bit further away from him.

 

Marco's eye widened a little. "N-No Jean... I-it's ok, you can- if it helps" Marco whispered. Jean could get closer if it helped him to find some sleep.

 

"Yeah uhm yesterday it helped too I guess so maybe we should do i- that" he said and punched himself mentally. Jean scooted closer again. Yeah Marco close to him was pretty much calming. It really was.

 

Marco let out a small chuckle. "We look like two idiots" he said first then scooted closer too. Maybe Jean was shy about it ? Marco mostly needed to stay aware of his own reactions. For now it was alright, and warm...

 

"Maybe because we are" Jean replied and chuckled too. "I'm just not that sure about it when people are uncomfortable about something like me being too close so uh well" Jean explained his 'shyness' or whatever this was.

 

"What ?" Marco asked tilting his head a bit. He wasn't sure... So Jean was uneasy about what ?

 

"What what?" Jean asked and looked up a bit confused. "I mean I'm not sure about how close I can be. I mean it helps against my nightmares but you know I'm not good with others so I probably will say 100x sorry if I come too close to you" Jean tried to explain himself better and scratched his neck. "There are people after all who don't like someone being closer than two feet" he said.

 

"Oh" Marco replied and looked away. For Marco, Jean would never be too close. He gathered up some bravado now and said "I-I'm not like that. So ehm be as close as you need to, alright ?". Good thing there wasn't any light anymore because Marco was surely blushing at the moment.

 

"Okay good. I don't want my best friend to be mad at me" he said and chuckled. So he could be as close as he wanted to be right? Jean breathed in and out and leaned against Marco, laid there like yesterday. "I hope I won't wake up tonight" he murmured and sighed before closing his eyes.

 

Marco chuckled back and welcomed Jean against him. Having Jean laying there was absolutely perfect. If only it wasn't for those nightmares. "Mmh. Good night Jean" he repeated and closed his eye too. Falling asleep became easier.

 

"Good night" Jean replied. He fell asleep after some time. He was trembling in his sleep, had the same nightmare again. He woke up flinching in the middle of the night. He sighed and looked at Marco who was sleeping peacefully. Jean smiled slightly.

 

Almost out of habit now Marco passed an arm around Jean in his sleep. It was so comfy now. Marco fell in the same kind of sleep as yesterday. Pitch black.

 

Jean looked up. So Marco was doing this unconsciously every time. Well it was not like he had hoped for Marco doing something like this on purpose but... Well. Once again Jean rested his hand on Marco's chest and closed his eyes again. He didn't sleep good, but good enough to not wake up until morning came.

 

And morning came. The two men got woken up by the door being.. Being knocked down? At least it was as loud as that. Marco opened his eyes with difficulty to see Jack was the one who pushed the door so violently but it wasn't the worst by far. Clarisse was set on her elbows at the end of the bed, head in her hands and obviously snickering. Marco sighed loudly before he sat up and Jack ran to him beaming.

 

Jean nearly jumped and woke up when someone opened the door very loudly. He quickly sat up and blushed, seeing Clarisse at the edge of the bed. "What are you doing here?? It's way too early!" Jean said grumpily. He didn't like to be woken up like that. And it was kinda embarrassing that they saw him and Marco like that.

 

Second morning waking up being spied on when Jean was in Marco's arms. It made Marco slightly more (a lot more) pissed than this time it was Clarisse. Jack jumped on the bed to greet Marco so the freckled man gave him a quick smile and reply and the boy stormed outside again. "It seems like everyone is already awake, huh ?" he said as he ran a tired hand through his dark hair.

 

"Seems like it" Jean replied and stood up. Why couldn't he wake up like all calm and happy Marco calling him Love... Yeah as if. Jean got ready and went with Marco and Clarisse outside. "Next time knock goddammit" he said and punched her shoulder. "Yeah yeah whatever. I just couldn't get enough of two guys cuddling" she said and snickered. Jean grumbled but blushed. Breakfast seemed ready...

 

Marco pouted all along the morning. When would he have a proper waking up next to Jean ? Caressing his cheek and practicing some early make out. So Marco dreamed of it instead because all of this was only limited to his imagination anyway.

 

They went to the place they were yesterday where the rest of the group already started eating. Well, why not. Jean sat down on a chair and grabbed himself a plate. It wasn't much because it still was winter but he felt better. Especially having a bed, a blanket and a warm body - cough -, Marco, he didn't freeze the night. Jean looked at Clarisse who was constantly staring at him with a wide grin. She better not say anything to Marco Jean didn't want Marco to know.

 

They ate, and Marco followed Jean in this environment he simply wasn't used to. At some point Jean, Marco, Clarisse and her girlfriend were occupied gathering wood and as Clarisse talked non stop to Jean, which annoyed Marco again but he needed to stop feeling jealous seriously, he and the girlfriend talked a bit. Marco learned that her name was Luna, she was turning 18 this year and was born in another country. She seemed shy but was easy to get along with.

 

Jean noticed Marco was talking to the girlfriend of Clarisse and somehow he didn't feel so good about it. Not that he was jealous or anything. "So, when do you wanna tell him?" Clarisse asked grinning when they were carrying some wood. "Tell him what?" Jean asked and played dumb. "You know what I mean" she replied. "I won't, I don't want to risk losing my best friend" he simply said. Clarisse sighed and chuckled. "Geez you two are just idiots." Jean furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Like that they finished quickly with what they had to do.

 

Marco smiled at Jean when their eyes met from time to time. The four of them went back and it was already time for lunch. Marco was surprised that they weren't encountering any zombies when they were that much...

 

It was surprisingly peaceful here. But Jean was glad about it, there already happened way too much drama in the last few days. Jean was glad that Jack seemed better now as well. For everybody staying here for a while was probably pretty good, even for Marco. Jean decided to search for new clothes, especially a new pair of jeans since his old one got cut because of his wound. He found a pair pretty quick and walked to the shack and started changing. A new shirt he had found too. Pretty good!

 

Marco ended up helping for lunch so he was surprised to see Jean walk back with new clothes. He fit well in it... And Marco would lie if he said he didn't check that cute ass captured in jeans.

 

Jean felt pretty good in nearly clean clothes. The jacket he had found some days ago he kept though, he had no other jacket. Jean walked over to Marco again smiling at his best friend. Lunch was ready soon. "It's peaceful here huh? I think it was a good decision to go with them. The winter is more endurable with having everything you need" Jean said and chuckled as he sat down on a bench.

 

"Yeah that's for sure" Marco replied grinning as he went to sit on the bench too. He looked purposely at the new pair of jeans and asked "So... where did you find those ? I wouldn't be against having new ones too" he said wishing he could get fresh ones too. So as to go wash his current ones...

 

Jean looked down at his pants at well. "Uh I searched for clothes in general and I found them in a shack. You should go take a look yourself. I think I saw some clothes in our shack too... You should go and take a look" Jean said then he nodded. "We can wash our old clothes later after lunch?" Jean asked and looked up at Marco.

 

"Ok then I'll do that" Marco replied and nodded at Jean's proposition. They were traveling in their sweaty clothes for a while now. "I'm gonna have a look before we have lunch" Marco informed Jean as he pointed a the shack then stood and went there.

 

"Okay see you at lunch then" he said and looked after Marco. It was not like they got separated or anything but it was weird being without Marco just like that. Well they pretty much did stick together for some time now. Clarisse came and sat next to Jean. "What is it now?" he asked and looked at her. "You know, Jeany, you already look like a couple. I mean whyelse should you two sleep like THAT?" she said with her usual grin. "That's just- whatever it's not like you're believing me anyway" he said and sighed. The girl chuckled and bumped his shoulder.

 

Marco went through their shack looking for some lost clothes in the poor furnitures in it, behind the doors and such. As he tried to open a dresser (where he finally found clothes !) Marco noticed something laying down on the floor. It wasn't his so either way it was already there or it was to Jean. It looked like a photograph. Marco grabbed it and turned it to see the subject of the photograph. His wide expectations weren't wide enough when he saw his own face. He still had his two eyes and a bright laughing smile. The kind of smile he wore when he was with Jean. Marco sat as he observed it. Why... why was Jean carrying a pic that was something like 8yo ? Curious Marco turned the back of the photograph where a few words were written. Ok now Marco didn't know how he remembered Jean's handwriting but it was the one who wrote those few words bearing a confusing meaning. 'Always in my heart'.  
 


	24. The first confession

    
Marco took his time to search for clothes. Meanwhile Jean decided to help a little preparing lunch. He even offered to make dinner this evening. Margaret thanked him and Jean smiled. Lunch was ready and he decided to get Marco. He walked into the shack. "Marco, lunch is ready!" he said and looked around. Marco was probably in the bedroom.

 

Marco ran his free hand over his face. 'Why' was the only thing he could think right now as tears prickled his single eye. Why did Jean keep a pic of Marco all along ? Why did he write those special words ? Why did Marco forget about Jean after that day when they got separated ? All sorts of questions were turning him into a mess inside. Somehow to him this photograph didn't mean anything that good. He heard Jean calling for him from the other room so he wiped his eye quickly and sniffed. 'Can't let Jean know about that.

 

"You finished changing? Lunch is ready, if you want to get something to eat you should come now" he said and chuckled. He didn't dare going into the bedroom, Marco was changing maybe. Okay, he had seen Marco already just in his underwear once but he couldn't do that a second time, he would just turn red and worst he could get turned on seeable. So he waited in the other room.

 

Marco nodded though Jean obviously couldn't see him. He sniffed again and put the photograph back with Jean's stuffs. Marco then examined quickly the clothes he found. Large sweatpants that fitted just well on him and a large tank top too plus a beanie. Well, at least apart from the tank top he found warm clothes. He put everything on and went outside, smiling halfheartedly at Jean as they joined the others for lunch.

 

"Finally" Jean said and laughed when Marco came with him. They joined the rest of the group and started eating and chatting lightly, like they did with every meal they shared. Jean finished quick and waited for Marco so they could go wash their old clothes.

 

Marco couldn't bring himself to talk now. He just smiled along as people chitchatted. He finished quickly as well.

 

Jean was worried about Marco a bit because he was so silent. So washing their clothes was the perfect opportunity to ask him things. Jean smiled at him and they went to wash their clothes. "The clothes suit you pretty well" Jean said and looked at Marco. It didn't just suit Marco, he looked fucking hot with them. And a bit less than a reckless leader, way more than the young man he was. "Is something the matter or why are you so quiet suddenly? Is something wrong?" Jean asked and put a hand on Marco's shoulder, obviously worrying.

 

Marco walked close as they went to wash their clothes. He chuckled shyly as Jean complimented him, well, the clothes. He was a bit surprised by Jean's worried tone. First Marco denied it replying "No, I'm fine. Don't worry". Even himself didn't know why this pic was making him feel like this, how could he explain how he felt to Jean. But the atmosphere grew heavy and so Marco decided to tell him. "I'm sorry, it must have slipped out of your things but... I found this one photograph... Of me. And I don't know why but there are things I just can't figure out now and- well, no, sorry forget about that" he said pissed with himself.

 

Jean wasn't so sure if he should believe Marco. But Jean couldn't force Marco to say something he didn't want to say. When Marco decided to speak, Jean turned around surprised. Marco talked about how he found a photo. Jean exactly knew which photograph he meant and he grew red from cheeks to ears. "T-That's nothing for you to look at!" he said flustered. Jean calmed down a bit and looked at Marco. "So looking at the picture is depressing you or whyelse are you so silent? Even though I don't know why a picture of you should be depressing" Jean said and laid a finger on his chin, thinking about that.

 

Jean's flustered reacting added some weigh to what Marco was debating about - of the meaning of this picture - in his head. But then Jean's thoughtful reaction was cute and made Marco laugh an instant. "Why huh ? That's exactly what I'm asking myself" he replied as he turned his focus again on rinsing his washed clothes.

 

Jean sighed in silence and hoped his normal skin tone would come back quick. "I like to keep memories" Jean said as he concentrated on his clothes. "I don't know why but I like it. And there's nothing wrong with keeping a photograph of my best friend right?" he added. Okay, it was not just because he liked keeping something like that. Then he remembered. He looked at Marco. "You- you just looked at the picture, right? Nothing else, right?"

 

Marco let out a small sigh but that didn't mean any harm. He hoped he could have kept some memories too. Like, in his head... It would have been cool. "I actually turned it over if that's what you mean" he replied.

 

Jean would love to just ram his own head against a wall. So Marco had read it probably. Jean remained silent now, somehow it was a bit embarrassing. He put his clothes up so that they could dry. This would take some time... Later he'd place them near a fire.

 

Marco coughed a bit and asked embarrassed "So ehm... That's all ?". He didn't really know but well... Maybe- maybe finding this picture accompanied of those words suddenly made Marco's hopes grow higher and he absolutely wanted to make this point clear before he got over it.

 

"What 'that's all'?" Jean asked. He sat down somewhere and sighed. "I guess if you turned the pic you read what I wrote on there huh?" he said and turned slightly red. "I decided to keep the photograph and write something on it right after we got separated" he explained. "Since then I keep it with me. Is that wrong?" he asked looking up. Someone could say it could be creepy but he would never ever leave this photograph of Marco behind.

 

Marco shook his head and replied confused and awkward "Uhm no that's- that's not". With that, Marco hung up his clothes too and sat a bit further from Jean than he grew the habit to.

 

"So what's bothering you about it then ? You can ask me anything if you have questions or something like that" he said a bit confused when Marco sat down less close than usually. What if Marco could count 1 and 1 together and knew by now how Jean felt? Oh god please no. But Jean thought overdramatic here. He calmed down a bit.

 

"I-I was just wondering some things" he murmured looking away.

 

"What things then? Come on you can talk to me you're my best friend after all" Jean said. He was a bit disappointed if Marco didn't want to talk with Jean about different things. But well, Jean couldn't and didn't want to force the freckled guy at all.

 

Marco gulped at the words 'best friend' because of what he was about to reply. He breathed out and dove into it. Looking to the sky he asked, his mouth gaping between the words "I was wondering if keeping that picture of me and th-those words had a particular meaning". Oh god the last time Marco felt his heart beat so fast was when he was on the verge of death a few weeks ago.

 

Jean waited for Marco to talk. Marco did and Jean tried his best not to get all flustered again by Marco's question. Of course they had a particular meaning. The words had different meanings. How could Jean say it without directly confessing to Marco (for which he wasn't brave enough yet)? "Uhm well" he began and cleared his throat. "You... could say that" he said and looked away. No, look at Marco, you're too obvious! , Jean thought to himself. He managed to look at Marco but grew even redder.

 

Oh Jean was so red. Marco was in pain right now divided between great hope and distress. He wished he could just confess to Jean right away and get over it. What was preventing him from doing so ? Ah yes, he risked his friendship. And Marco couldn't fool around and lose Jean. Marco stood for now and walked to sit next to Jean in a more usual way. Well, closer just to say. Though it was awkward and Marco was still deep thinking.

 

God what should he just say? He couldn't just say 'oh yeah I have that pic of you because I'm obviously in love with you'. So what to say? Jean's hands grew slightly sweaty, he didn't except such a question. "Uhm well I still keep this because uhm you're important to me obviously. I mean we know each other since forever and during the time we were separated I needed at least a photograph of you, especially because the chance was high you could already be dead" Jean began. Good, this started good even though he still was fucking red. Maybe... he should just go with it. What could happen? Marco wouldn't hate him for his confession. Hopefully. "Uhm b-but the main reason I wrote this and keep it with me is because I lo-" he said but suddenly Clarisse stormed in. "Guys you have to see that- oh" she said looking between the blushing guys. "Did I interrupt you somehow?" she asked innocently -she wasn't- Jean could feel steam coming out of his ears like literally! How embarrassing this whole situation was.

 

Because Marco could be dead uh... That was a fucking good reason that could make Marco, as a grownup, cry. Marco was suspended to Jean's lips because somehow what he was about to say seemed very important. He flipped his head immediately at what could have cut Jean's word. Indeed... Of course it was Clarisse... Marco glanced back at Jean and figured out he wouldn't be the one replying seeing how red he was right now. "That's ehm- that's ok Clarisse. Uh Jean we'll talk about it later if you want" Marco said first addressing to Clarisse then to Jean. Marco had seen enough saw by Jean's reaction to stand as a reply to his wonders. It was ok.

 

Jean would love to just punch Clarisse. He finally had been brave enough to say it and then- then this happened! "Yeah yeah let's talk later" Jean said loosely trying to calm himself down again. He looked over to Clarisse who tried to hide her grin. She knew exactly just by looking at Jean what she had interrupted. "So uh what is it we have to see?" Jean asked and stood up. God all this was so embarrassing. "Come!" the girl said and grabbed both Marco's and Jean's arms.

 

Marco's eye stayed on Jean as they walked back while in his head he replayed Jean's words 'because I lo-'. Marco was still sitting between two ideas that were battling constantly in his head. They got dragged by Clarisse somewhere.

 

It was pretty messy inside Jean for now. He was about to make a confession and in the exact moment he got interrupted. That wasn't fair. Jean didn't know if he had the bravery again to tell Marco a different time. They went to the fire place where the silent guys had brought a large bag. "We don't know how they found them here but this bag is full of weapons. Here could always pass zombies and now we have enough weapons for everyone!" she said truly overjoyed. "Yeah as long as you get your beloved knives" Jean said grumpily. For that they got interrupted? Seriously??

 

Marco wanted to facepalm. Like, they got interrupted because of weapons ? But Marco had his knife... And Jean his bow. He spotted Jack among the other and thought that yeah, at least this kid needed a weapon. And thought even further, maybe if Marco had a weapon back then he wouldn't have lost his eye.

 

"Okay you all the kid's are first. Phil can show you two how to use weapons. It's necessary my dears" Margaret said and patted both Jack's and Nico's head. "The rest of you can wait. There's enough for everyone so feel free to get yourself something" she continued smiling. Jean sat down and let the others do first. He still was thinking about back there. What if he didn't get interrupted? What if he had confessed? On the one hand Marco could have laughed at him or rejected him, but on the other hand maybe they would sit there kissing. Even though Jean feared that the first was more going to happen. Sadly.

 

Marco followed the moves and finished by sitting close to Jean. In this agitation he said casually "So now, I think this photograph disturbed me cause I had no memory of you back then and even forgot your name. You can't tell how sorry I am about this... And at least among other things I thought having a photograph of you with me would have helped a lot". Marco then sighed and ran a hand in his hair.

 

Jean looked at Marco as this one spoke up. He patted Marco's shoulder. "It's okay, you don't have to apologize. This whole apocalypse thing was a shock to you, I'm not mad at you for forgetting about some things" he said and smiled at him. "Well if we find somewhere somehow a camera we may be able to take a picture so you have one too." With that Jean stood up quickly to get himself different guns. He then went back to Marco. It still was a bit awkward. "Uhm you could go see if Jack needs help at practicing. I'm pretty sure he wants to spend time with you" Jean added.

 

Marco smiled thankfully at Jean. What would he do without this ashblond grumpy guy, his long-time best friend ? Well- turn into an evil killer. He looked down but then chuckled at Jean's proposition. "Yeah sure, why not" he replied and Jean went to grab some guns. Marco would wait some more.   
Jean went back and said something about Jack that Marco agreed to. Marco needed to do something to occupy his mind anyway and staying close to Jean had the opposite effect.   
Jack was a quick learner and Marco chose him a weapon easy to use at first. A gun would be too dangerous so he showed him a pack of blades made to get thrown at the zombies. He helped him practice and this took a certain time. The night started to fall.

 

Jean relaxed a bit more when Marco stood up to spend time with the kid. Now he could think without anyone bothering- and there Clarisse sat next to him. Great. "You actually wanted to tell him?" she asked poking his cheek like she always did. "No- yes- maybe" Jean replied and looked away grumpily. "But it doesn't matter it's not like he would share the feelings" Jean said and played with his hands. Clarisse sighed dramatically. "I really want to punch both of you" she said. She left and Jean spent his time doing different things. As it got dark Jean went to the cooking place. He promised after all to make dinner with Margaret.

 

Dinner went the same way as every other meal, chatting and everyone having a good share of food. Somehow now Marco could noticed when Jean had helped to cook or not. The taste was different. Or maybe it was all in Marco's head. God it was complicated to be in love.

 

The dinner was as usual as the previous days they spent here. But Jean liked it. It didn't have to be for months but he was glad they could have a really good shelter with a good group and they could finally relax a bit. And it was winter so it was good anyway that they were staying here for a while. Jean finished soon with his meal and already walked to the shack. He was kind of exhausted.

 

Marco was still finishing his plate noticed Jean going back to the shack. He hurried to finish, wished a good night to everyone, received a sly grin from Clarisse who was cuddling with a shy Luna right now, and finally got hugged by the small ash-blond boy. "Good night, Jack" Marco said ruffling the kid's hair. This took him longer than expected to join his best friend again in the shack. It was kind of freezing tonight too... "Jean ?" Marco asked before entering the bedroom.

 

Jean sat down onto the bed then laid down on his side. He sighed in relief and quickly grabbed the blanket. Jean couldn't describe how glad he was to have a bed. He closed his eyes just to rest a bit. When his name got called he opened them again. "I'm here" he said.

 

"I'm coming in" Marco replied in politely warning Jean. Marco entered discreetly and quickly changed before going to bed too. The day hasn't been lacking of events today again. Jean seemed tired so Marco let him rest as on his part he tried to fall asleep.

 

Jean didn't know if he should be glad or sad that Marco didn't ask about this afternoon. Probably glad. Marco laid down too and closed his eye. This time it was harder to just 'cuddle' with him like the last days because of what happened when washing clothes. So Jean closed his eyes as well and tried to sleep.

 

The night went by very slowly. Marco turned in his light sleep many times and he heard Jean doing the same but like ten times worse. When Jean was really moving too much around 4 in the morning, a frowning Marco grabbed him and placed Jean close to his chest hoping it would help the other man to settle in his sleep.

 

Once asleep Jean already started dreaming the same shit all over again. He was active in his sleep, his body knew the bed was big enough and so it was no wonder he was moving much. Once placed next to Marco's chest Jean already calmed down. One of his arms though decided to lay over Marco's face. Jean was an active sleeper after all, no matter nightmare or dream...

 

Marco chuckled slightly as he got woken up by an active arm laying on his face. Marco moved it aside a bit and fell asleep again.

 

Jean moved unconsciously closer and his legs decided to tangle with Marco's, while his upper body stayed against Marco's warm chest. Like that Jean finally stopped moving and slept until morning.

 

As Marco slowly awoke, he prayed to not find anyone sitting at the end of the bed this time. He opened his eye and sighed in relief when he saw no one was there but Jean. Jean was still dozing off surprisingly all entangled with Marco. That made Marco turn a bit red. His wonders caused by this photograph started to get confirmed one moment after another.

 

Jean slept pretty much in now that they didn't get woken up by someone like the previous mornings. He was snoring more or less happily, not noticing that Marco already woke up.

 

Marco thought it was better for Jean's heart not to wake up so entangled with the freckled guy as a friend. So although Marco liked it, he detached himself carefully from Jean and sat on the bed rubbing his face to wake up a bit better. Finding children, losing Jeanne, Jean dealing with guilt and nightmares... A simple picture didn't weigh much compared to that. Marco decided to put his feelings and doubts asides for the day.

 

In his sleep you could do literally everything with Jean. If he wasn't having a nightmare his sleep was deep and Jean could be moved in any position, he'd just continue sleeping. But because it was morning his sleep was light so he woke up some minutes after Marco freed himself. Jean sat up slowly and yawned. Marco was already awake. "Morning" he said lazily.

 

Marco looked at Jean and smiled a bit tiredly to him. "Good morning Jean" he replied. Without having much sleep and the recent events Marco couldn't be shining now.

 

"Isn't it strange once we're not sleeping close nobody's in the room" Jean said and chuckled. He stretched himself and let out another yawn. He probably had the messiest hair ever.

 

Marco chuckled too but kept to himself that he woke up captured by every limbs of Jean. Marco ruffled Jean's messy hair nest.

 

Jean flinched slightly in surprise when Marco just ruffled his hair out of the blue. And Jean would love to punch himself for turning red because of it. With each day he spent with Marco he got more and more obvious! "W-What was that for?" he asked looking at Marco.

 

Oh god, Marco could tell now this wasn't fever that made Jean turn red. "You had an amazing bed hair" he replied half-grinning.

 

Jean sighed. He must be pretty obvious by now. It was strange that Marco didn't ask already if Jean... Well. He bumped Marco's shoulder jokingly. "Hey no one can wake up with perfect styled hair okay especially me" he said and chuckled. Jean sighed slightly. He really should learn by now to not blush every goddamn time Marco touched him, even if it was just ruffling his hair or patting his back or something like that. And Marco didn't have asked about the meaning of the picture yesterday night as Jean had expected. Maybe Marco already forgot. Well that may be better.

 

Marco chuckled a bit too, sighed at the same time than Jean then he got on his feet. Others may be needing help for breakfast.

 

"Where are you going?" Jean asked and looked at Marco standing up. He probably went for breakfast. Jean decided to stay a bit longer in bed simply because he could do that.

 

"I'm gonna help a bit" he replied smiling quickly at Jean. Marco almost reached to run a hand in Jean's hair again but he stopped. He then realized he was acting like a coward. His arms fell to his side and he sighed heavily. Marco sat on the edge of the bed and looked quite intensely at Jean. "I-I don't know what I'm doing anymore..." he said partly to himself and shook his head. He looked up again and asked "Now Jean, what was it that you were about to say yesterday before Clarisse interrupted us ?"

 

"Okay then" Jean said smiling and looking at Marco. He was a bit confused though when Marco first reached for Jean's hair but decided to stop it. Jean furrowed his eyebrows when Marco sat down again. He didn't know what to do? "What is wrong? I mean we're doing pretty good!" Jean said and tilted his head. He gulped when Marco came back to what they were talking about yesterday. Oh god... He already grew red again.

 

Jean looked so obvious now Marco started to blush too. "I mean... I think- wonder- I start to understand some things" he explained though it made the discussion more awkward.

 

"What things do you understand then?" Jean asked carefully. Did Marco already know? And if so why wasn't he saying anything? Did he think of a way how to reject Jean?? Oh god please no. Suddenly all kind of scenarios were blobbing up in his head. But just the bad ones.

 

Marco shook his head slightly again and replied not confidently "I don't want to assume anything". And went for it carefully "You snuggle in your sleep- and turn red easily... When I touch you. You avoided my eye sometimes and- and this photograph just made me wonder for real if... God now we're both gay that shouldn't be so hard ! But we're best friends and it makes this hundred times more complicate. I would like to get to know your true feelings Jean".

 

Marco listing all the things Jean did made it even more obvious, even to Jean. But Jean was a pretty honest person, it was hard for someone like him to keep something for himself other than a secret. So he was bad at lying either. Jean looked up, still red. So Marco wanted to know? But what if he didn't want to be Jean's friend anymore then? Jean would have lost his only and best friend then! But maybe he had to do it, just get over it. "Well uhm" he began and scratched his neck. "I-I know it sounds probably weird to you especially because you're my best friend and all and I don't want to lose you as a friend and-" he said but god why was this so hard? Jean was way too much in fear of losing Marco. He breathed in deeply. "Maybe I-I like you" he began almost whispering. "M-More than a friend" he added. He said it. Oh god he just said that! Jean was steaming now and he looked away embarrassed. "B-But that's no reason to break our friendship right??" he asked then, his voice shaky.

 

Marco was growing so nervous as he waited for an answer. Then he could... He could tell his feelings too. He blushed a bit at the thought but concentrated on Jean's unsteady words. Jean almost looked scared and Marco hated himself to make Jean feel like this... But Jean's words confirmed Marco's hunch. The freckled guy breathed in deep to fight the way his chest constricted suddenly, and it was painful as he let all his uncertainty fly away. All this struggling they went through, being separate and then dealing with those feelings. Marco replaced his focus on Jean even if his gaze didn't go elsewhere though. He reached for Jean's jaw and ran a thumb carefully on the sharp bone. Marco got lost in Jean's eyes and finally replied "I'm glad to learn that".

 

Jean flinched slightly when Marco reached for his jaw. What was all that about? The only thing Marco said about Jean's confession was that he was 'glad to learn that'. No 'I like you too' or 'the fuck man that's gross'. Jean just sat there kinda paralyzed. That was real. He just confessed to his best friend.

 

Marco was unsure of what to do next because Jean flinched again under his touch. But Marco tried to be gentle. As gentle as possible. He took his time to slide his finger down to Jean's neck and reached slowly to cup the back of his head. Marco didn't seem good with words today. Instead he approached his face closer hyper aware of Jean's reactions and as they were way too close for how best friends could normally get, he asked in a murmur "May I- ?" as he quickly glanced at Jean's lips before looking back into his eyes.

 

Jean blushed even more when Marco ran his hand down Jean's neck. God he was acting like a little school girl and it kind of annoying Jean. Marco got closer to his face, way too close. Wha- did Marco want to kiss him actually? Was this really just happening?? Jean's heart was beating way too fast to be healthy. He slowly nodded and got a bit closer too. But before anything could happen they heard gun shots outside and someone bumping at their door. "Guys we need your help ! Zombies !" a female voice said. Just thinking of zombies Jean was up in one second and had already grabbed his gun. No one would die today. No one.

 

Marco saw Nico being encircled by three zombies. The kid was defenseless. After putting Jack in a safe place temporarily Marco ran to the other kid and ordered to him "Down !" before he shot the three zombies in a row.   
Half an hour already passed and everyone was still fighting. Marco had lost sight of Jean almost immediately which made Marco even more agitated. And Marco didn't have enough ammunition. He searched for the people in most difficulties and went to slice some zombies to help. Running through the camp he found Clarisse in a worst state he thought he could ever find the girl. She had hidden Luna behind her and was crying of fear and rage as she shot down the hoard of zombies encircling them. By some miracle Marco found a loaded gun behind a shelter and shot the ones closest to the two girls. If Clarisse ran out of ammunition now they would both die. Marco helped her from the side till only a manageable amount of zombies were still standing.

 

Where did those things come from so suddenly?? While Marco was saving the kids Jean stayed with Margaret. The old lady was very good at shooting but she was not that young anymore. Jean shot down one zombie after another. They were fighting for long but because they had enough weapons by now they managed to shoot every last zombie down after a long fight. Exhausted Jean leaned against a wall. It seemed like everybody was alive. Clarisse was wounded but she would make it. At least she was alive. Today there were way too much events happening, geez.

 

Clarisse returned to the others as the last zombies were being knocked down. Marco started to walk too before he heard a very small, certainly from afar, childlike scream. He let the girls return by their own and hurried to where the sound came from. Marco was worried. This was the voice of a child with no doubt and he was entering the forest now... He finally reached it. Around a average tree were gathered something like twelve zombies that immediately turned their attention to Marco as this one made his apparition. Marco spotted the 6 years old girl he remembered seeing around the campfire during the meals. And it fucking hurt him, how he went through the similar situation four days ago. For now Marco had another problem...  
A long moment later, Marco was laying on the ground unconscious because of the loss of blood. He made sure to kill each one of those zombies. But his gun ran empty after shooting the third one and he had to use his knife for the nine others. The girl was safe. But Marco was bleeding too much.

 

Once regained his power Jean walked around the 'town' to see if everyone was alright. It seemed like it. But- where was Marco?? Jean grew worried in an instant. "Did anyone see Marco??" Jean asked to everyone. Only Nico was able to explain Marco went to the forest. Jean didn't think long and ran after him. He looked around, searching for his best friend. He found the girl from the town calling for him. Jean ran even quicker even though it wasn't good for his leg. And there Marco laid, covered in blood. Atounf him like... ten zombies or more. The girl quickly explained what happened. Jean tried not to panic and took Marco with him. He carried the freckled guy onto his back and walked back to the shacks, the little girl by his side. Once there everyone quickly helped and Marco was brought to where Clarisse laid as well. Well now the new clothes were covered in Marco's blood. Great. But Jean couldn't care less. The girlfriend of Clarisse, Luna, helped both wounded immediately. Jean could just sit somewhere and wait.

 

Marco was strong. He didn't want to give in. He tried his hardest to fill his lungs with air but it looked like his throat was slightly sliced. Not profound but it made it extremely painful to breath. His mind went blank again. He felt himself floating and getting laid again but he felt as if he was about to fly away.

 

Luna did her best and at least made sure no one would die. Jean offered his help to sew the wounds. So he went with her. And god looking at Marco wounded like that... Jean didn't want Marco to suffer like that ! Jean helped Luna as much as possible and in the afternoon, both exhausted, managed to take enough care of Marco and Clarisse. Both of them now and a high amount of bandages and even Marco's problem with breathing was taken care of. Now they could just wait, hoping, their beloved ones would wake up soon. But this time Marco's wounds were serious... If they didn't do anything Marco'd be dead now.

 

Marco in a small energy peak opened his eye for a few seconds. He felt as if his whole body was profoundly asleep. And he couldn't move one bit. His neck was impossible to move as well so he couldn't see much around. Something that looked like the top of Jean's hair was immobile, resting at the level of Marco's chest. Was he laid on a bed ? Apparently.

 

Jean didn't move away one second. He would stay with Marco. Just looking at him, being hurt and wounded everywhere. Jean could feel tears blobbing up in his eyes. He didn't want Marco to be in such a state. And in general there was just too much happening. Jean pressed his lips together. At some point dinner was ready so Jean had to leave. "I'm right back Marco" he whispered and went to eat something.

 

Marco was too hurt to feel anything anymore in fact. But now that he regained consciousness and got to hear Jean mildly crying at some point he felt it, the pain. He wanted to have Jean in his arms and have a tight grip around the one he loved. Jean went to eat which was a good thing. He needed to stay safe. And Marco fell asleep.

 

All of them were much worried about Clarisse and Marco. Especially Jack, but that was obvious. They ate in silence this time. Luna stated they could do nothing for them for now so everybody should go to sleep. Jean couldn't just go to sleep when his freckled friend was in a state like that! When everyone was in their shack Jean sneaked to the little shack where both Clarisse and Marco laid. There he sat down onto a chair again. If he slept, then it was near Marco !

 

You could say Marco was an amazingly and strangely tough one. In... the middle of the night ? He couldn't really figure this out. He woke up again a moment and was glad to feel some parts of his body. Not much, his right arm, his feet and one leg up the calve. His neck was the most painful part. Because yeah now that he started to feel things again, the pain was being present almost everywhere. His heart made strange things in his chest as he noticed Jean was there again. Marco was happy this time he could reach his hand to the messy semi-blond hair. He caressed it with love. Jean was sleeping here, huh ?

 

Jean slept very lightly. He was worried about Marco way too much plus he had the same nightmare like always. Because his sleep was so light he woke up immediately when he felt something in his hair. He opened his eyes and looked up quickly. It was Marco who was caressing his hair. Jean went closer immediately and furrowed his eyebrows. "Is everything okay?? Do you feel much pain? Can I do something for you?? Are you fine for now?? Are you-" god he wanted to ask so many question but he should be a bit calmer for Marco's sake.

 

Marco let out a small chuckle despite the pain and made a face trying to explain he couldn't talk at the moment. But he was so happy to see Jean here.

 

Oh yeah right Marco couldn't probably speak and shouldn't. "Your throat is slightly wounded so yeah please do not speak" Jean said in a calmer voice and laid back into the chair. "Everybody is thankful you saved the girl" he informed Marco to make him feel better.

 

Marco could only show what he wanted to say by his facial expressions. It was kinda frustrating. So the girl was safe... It indeed made him feel better. Marco could have made the difference this time. Something they couldn't have done for Jeanne. Marco closed his eye a second and sighed through his nose somehow relieved. He opened it again and grabbed one of Jean's hand in his. Oh man, Jean was still trembling... Marco squeezed it gently and smiled a little bit at Jean.

 

When Marco grabbed Jean's hand, Jean took Marco's hand with his other hand. "You're going to be alright okay" he said and looked at Marco. "Just- just a few days and you can walk again. I'm sure" he said and nodded. "No way my best friend gives up because of this" he added.

 

Marco arched his eyebrows faking surprise. "As if I would" he tried to voice but it went out hoarse and almost silent. And it hurt oh god it hurt. This zombie didn't touch a good spot.

 

"The fuck Marco you can't speak that's not good!" Jean said and furrowed his eyebrows like always. "Please try- try not to speak otherwise it takes longer to heal. You can be glad though Luna took care of you two" Jean explained.

 

Marco chuckled silently again. Jean was lovely. Okay, maybe the zombie also damaged his brain because he wasn't thinking in the straightest way right now.

 

"So... You should go and sleep a bit more. Really. I'll stay here okay?" he said and caressed Marco's hand with his thumb softly. He was just so much worried about Marco. He nearly forgot he just confessed to him this morning. But that didn't matter now anyway. Important was Marco's safety.

 

'Ok' Marco mouthed to reply though no sound came out purposely. Jean's gaze was still concentrated on him so Marco tried and mouthed in the same way 'love you Jean'.

 

Marco tried to say something but Jean couldn't understand what he wanted to say. "Okay then, now go to sleep" he said and patted Marco's shoulder carefully.

 

Marco sadly retreated because Jean obviously didn't get what Marco had tried to say. Marco made sure to keep Jean's hand squeezed in his as he closed his eye and immediately fell asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it :D


	25. About love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter... they finally come together !! The story is moving !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry for the long update !  
> Both me and Giuli have it hard to find time for the rp but it's here, and there'll always have updates even if they take a bit longer.   
> Hope you'll enjoy this long chapter~ ❤

Marco didn't let go of Jean's hand. That was okay obviously. Marco fell asleep quickly. Jean looked at his best friend and sighed. Hopefully he felt better soon... Jean fell asleep as well but was flinching and trembling in his sleep because of the nightmares. In the morning he woke up pretty much sweating. He still held Marco's hand though.

 

Marco slept for an eternity after that... He woke up because he was terribly hungry.

 

Jean noticed that Marco woke up as well after a while. Luna came in too. She brought for both Marco and Clarisse something to eat. Clarisse was still unconscious though.

 

Marco felt blessed to see food being presented to him. If he wasn't dying of pain, he was seriously starving.

 

Jean let go of Marco so that he could eat properly. He got help from Luna. "You should rest a bit and eat something" she said to Jean. Jean didn't want to go. "Alright. I'm back in no time Marco" he said and stood up, walking out to get breakfast.

 

Marco tried painfully to sit so he could eat. But Jean was going ? What a shame... Oh Marco was clearly not thinking straight yet. He wanted to keep Jean very close to him. Marco focused on his plate and saw the strange mash up of food it contained. Doing his best to pilot the spoon he managed to eat a little but his throat was like sending him death threats each time he swallowed.

 

Jean went to grab himself breakfast. He met Jack who was asking about Marco just as worried as Jean. "He is alright, he just needs to rest a bit" he replied and smiled slightly.

 

After a while struggling Marco managed to eat it all and laid down again with Luna's help. He then slept some more again.

 

Jean ate something for breakfast and walked back to Marco immediately. This one was sleeping again... So Jean would sit days here and do nothing else? Well that was okay as long as he could be near Marco.

 

It took three days like these for Marco to recover partly. Now he could sit without help and wanted to stand already.

 

Jean went on like this for three days. After those three days Marco looked already better. He still wasn't able to talk yet but at least he could sit up straight that was a good thing. Jean was with him often, Jack visited Marco often too. Clarisse had waken up by now as well.

 

Clarisse woke up the day before and since they were so bored, when no one was around they were making faces to each other, bursting into laughter like kids. Marco still couldn't emit a sound so Clarisse was the one talking the major part of the time. And when they weren't acting like idiots, she told him some random stories from when she was with Jean. It wasn't so often since the rest of the time Jean was here, talking gently to Marco about how Jack wanted to see Marco, how the air was too cold for him, how he wanted to see his best friend recover quickly...

 

At some point Jean couldn't visit his best friend that often because he had to help gather more wood and go hunting. Marco was recovering but for Jean it was too slow. He wanted Marco to be able to stand up already so that he could hug him and telling him it was okay.

 

"Jean, can you help me ?" Marco asked the fourth evening of his recovery. His voice sounded so weird, it was disturbing. But today Marco felt like walking. Finally.

 

Jean looked up at Marco as this one asked for help. "Yeah sure what is it?" Jean asked and got closer to Marco.

 

Marco sat on the edge of the bed and brought Jean closer otherwise he couldn't get to stand. "Come, come closer" he said and finally slid on his feet. He wasn't very steady (not at all) but it felt so good to stand again after four days in bed. Marco let out a sigh of joy.

 

"Wha- you want to walk already? It's too early!" Jean said but he helped Marco. He put Marco's arms around his shoulder and helped him stand up.

 

Marco thanked him brightly with a grin and pushed forward a bit. "Can we- make a few steps ? -promise- lay again after" he voiced in parts because it was still very painful to talk. But for Jean, Marco wanted to talk.

 

"Okay. But just a few" Jean said and helped Marco to walk a bit. "Does it hurt much?" Jean asked and looked at Marco while they were walking a bit. Or at least tried to.

 

Marco did his best and really it felt good to walk even if it was just a few steps. 'No' he said in a murmur. Marco smiled again happily to Jean and stepped towards the bed. It was perfectly enough for today.

 

Jean walked back to the bed quickly and helped Marco to lay down again. "Now you know how I felt. Just that it's worse here... But I'm glad you're doing so good" Jean said and smiled relieved. He still was worrying about Marco after all.

 

'I do' Marco murmured chuckling lightly. Marco hoped it would be his last night in this cramped bed alone. He missed the double bed of their shack. More like he missed having Jean in his arms at night.

 

Once Marco laid in the bed again Jean stood up. It got already dark. "I guess I should go to sleep. Is it... okay if I sleep in our shack this night? The chair's getting pretty uncomfortable after some days" Jean said and chuckled.

 

"I wanna come" Marco whispered doing the puppy eye thing. But he knew it was not reasonable and if Jean said 'No' then no it would be...

 

Jean looked at Marco and sighed. "No, Marco, you can't. You have to stay here at least one night more" Jean replied and crossed his arms. It was necessary that Marco stayed here.

 

Marco sighed dramatically but nodded. "Good night, Jean" he managed to say and waved at Jean slowly. Just one more night... Marco could deal with this. He just hoped Jean would be alright by himself.

 

"Good night Marco" Jean replied and smiled at his freckled friend. Jean went to his shack and fell asleep with the usual nightmare. He even woke up in the night. He wanted Marco by his side goddammit. Jean fell asleep again and slept until morning.

 

In the morning Marco tried to stand alone. It turned to be a very bad idea as at the first step he immediately fell flat on the ground. At least the fall wasn't too violent, but Clarisse didn't miss the action and had her share laughing at him. Marco returned to his bed, sulking and waited for his lovely Jean's visit.

 

Jean woke up and looked next to him. Normally there would lay Marco... Jean sighed and stood up. He got ready and went outside. He pretty fast got something for breakfast and then he immediately went to see after Marco. "Good morning" he said to both Clarisse and Marco.

 

Marco stopped sulking suddenly when he heard Jean's voice. "Here's coming your Prince Charming" Clarisse teased and god, she was still laughing. Marco rolled his eye to her and then greeted Jean. "Good mornin'" he replied smiling and placed the chair better for him.

 

Jean sat down on the chair. "How are you two doing?" Jean asked and looked first at Clarisse then at Marco. Clarisse seemed a bit more recovered than Marco.

 

"Quite fine" Marco replied. "You weren't fine a minute ago !" Clarisse continued to tease Marco but regained her seriousness to reply sweetly to Jean "I'm doing good, Jean~". Marco sighed. He knew she was just doing it to test his reactions so he needed to stay impassive to it. By chance, Luna entered at this moment and Clarisse turned her attention to her girlfriend.

 

Jean sighed. "Looks like you two have fun here" he said and chuckled. Marco and Clarisse got surprisingly along well. Gladly Luna came so Jean could speak just to Marco. "Is everything okay here?" he asked again smiling slightly.

 

"I'm just so bored~" Marco replied dramatically. Seemed like his voice was better today.

 

Jean chuckled. "I don't know if I can help you there" he said and looked at Marco. "And I have some things to do so I can't stay that long" Jean explained and sighed slightly.

 

Marco sighed. He wasn't someone to stay in bed that long... Now he understood in parts what Jean had been through when his leg was still recovering. Marco sat and poked Jean's shoulder softly. "So... You have slept a bit ?" he asked concerned.

 

Jean scratched his neck. "Yeah a bit" he said and looked at Marco. "Did you sleep well at least ?" he asked as concerned as Marco.

 

Marco winced slightly. He didn't like to see Jean like that. "Well, yes, I'm doing good for now" he replied and patted Jean's shoulder. Marco wanted to caress Jean's soft cheek... But he felt Clarisse eying them from behind and it stopped him from even thinking of doing anything.

 

"That's good to know. So uhm I have to go now to hunt something for lunch and dinner" he said and stood up again. "See you later okay?" he said and waved at Marco. Since that zombie attack they didn't talk about Jean's confession one second... Maybe it was better like that. Maybe it was.

 

Marco waved back at him and laid back annoyed once Jean was out of the shack. Clarisse snickered from her side of the bed. Luna was sitting on between her girlfriend's legs. Marco was slightly jealous of their lovey-dovey relationship. "Why don't you just tell him ?" she asked quite serious compared to her usual mocking tone. Marco looked at her dumbfounded. Oh right, Clarisse was part of those people that could actually read the obvious.

 

Jean went outside together with the two silent guys. They were quick at hunting and brought lots of meat which was a surprise in winter. Today everyone would have enough to eat. Good.

 

The three of them talked about this a moment. Marco explained that Jean somehow confessed because Marco had a hunch, 'Finally' quoting Clarisse, and that this happened the day of their accident so Marco and Jean haven't talked this through since then. 'But you love him, right ??' Clarisse scolded Marco. It occupied 2 good hours of their time chatting about this.

 

Jean came back with what they had hunted. Jean helped preparing lunch and then walked over to Marco again now that he got some more free time. "I'm back" he said and got in. Both of the injured ones were still in bed huh?

 

Marco welcomed him gladly. Talking about his love issues with Clarisse for two hours started to get long.

 

Jean sat down on his chair again. All of them chitchatted lightly like this until the night fell in. "Do you two feel good enough to join us at dinner?" Jean asked both.

 

"Count me in !" Marco replied fast. He was so bored in this bed he would do anything. "Me too" Clarisse replied and sighed. She seemed to be feeling the same as Marco.

 

"Okay then. Do you need help?" Jean asked Marco. Clarisse got helped by her girlfriend obviously.

 

"Yes, please" Marco said as he got on his feet. They slowly walked outside to join everyone around the fire. Marco wondered if he was really looking so bad right now or if the others were just surprised to see Marco and Clarisse standing after five days only. Marco sat with Jean's help. "Thank you" Marco said smiling to him as Margaret brought plates for them.

 

Jean smiled. "Okay, come on" Jean said and helped Marco to stand up. Marco was heavy... But they managed to walk together to where everyone else sat and they all ate dinner together. Jean was glad Marco could join them again.

 

While Marco was eating Jack came in tears to him whining Marco's name. A bit shocked, the freckled man took the kid to his side. "Now, now, what is it Jack ?" Marco said patting his back. Jack sniffed. "I-I, I thought you were going to d-disappear... L-like Jeanne... Jeanne-hic-" he replied as he buried his face on Marco's side. Oh... "Everything's alright. I'm not going anywhere, here. Jack, Jeanne is watching over you okay ?" Marco said softly to the kid.

 

Jean looked at Marco and Jack. Just mentioning his sister's name was still too much for Jean. He looked down and continued eating in silence. When they finished Jean walked up to Marco. "So I guess I promised that you can sleep in a proper bed again huh?" he said and helped Marco up.

 

Marco couldn't miss Jean's reaction at the mention of the little girl. Marco finished to eat rapidly as Jack stayed gripped to his side. Once finished, Jack sat on Marco's lap and played with counting Marco's freckles on his left arm. The kid had finally stopped crying and it was time for bed. Marco smiled a little bit and replied with a simple "True".

 

Jean waited for Marco  to stand up. Once he did Jean helped Marco up. They said good night to Jack and went to their shack. Inside Jean helped Marco to lay down onto the bed with a groan. "Why are you so heavy" he said and laughed slightly. "Try to sleep now" he said and went into the other room.

 

Marco chuckled. "That's not nice, Jean" he said. He first laid then sat when Jean walked to the door. "Where are you going ?" Marco asked curious.

 

"I just checked something in my bag" Jean said and walked back to the bedroom. He sat down on his side and stretched himself. Finally he could lay here with Marco next to him. "Good night" he said and laid down.

 

Marco nodded chuckling of his own overreaction. He then laid down too and replied "good night Jean".

 

Jean sighed the slightest. He didn't want to sleep just yet. They haven't talked once about what had happened a few days ago. Would it stay just like that? Marco could reject him at least or give any reply to Jean's confession. He was glad though that they still were best friends.

 

Marco heard Jean sighing and turned in the bed to face him. Marco couldn't sleep just like that either. He wouldn't bring the subject again if Jean didn't want to. But Marco tried nonetheless. In a quiet voice he said "Jean... You're waiting for an answer, right ?". It was very straight to the point but why should Marco do otherwise, the question remained the same.

 

Jean looked at Marco as this one spoke up. He blushed again. "Well yes I guess" he said even though he feared the answer. A rejection would be so bad. Somehow if he made a confession he had imagined it to be a bit more... romantic. But well, this was the apocalypse.

 

Now Marco couldn't go back. He was the one forcing all this on the table. He looked down a moment thinking of how he could formulate it. He sat up and scratched his neck furrowing his eyebrows. "It's not complicate at all but it's hard to voice out when I repeated in my head so many time before" Marco explained chuckling a bit.

 

"Just say what you need to say" Jean replied and sat slightly up. He grew even more nervous now.

 

Marco could tell Jean was almost as nervous to get a reply than Marco was to give it. It was good nerves for him though. Marco looked down and took Jean's hand in his. "I-I'm sorry to tell you this when I'm all beaten and not awesome, not cute anymore but the apocalypse made it this way. I... I believe we will get through the apocalypse together. So ehm, Jean- shortly said-" he stuttered a bit then looked up into Jean's eyes to say those words. "I'm desperately in love with you" he said then beamed to himself, finally he could have said it !

 

Oh god no Marco's reply started with 'I'm sorry'. Jean pressed his lips together and waited for Marco's reply. But then Marco said the words Jean never believed he would hear. First he looked up at Marco before he grew as red as a tomato. "W-What??" he started. "Then- why didn't you say so earlier!" Wow. Really ? That was his first reaction? But he was just overwhelmed right now. No way, his best friend and crush for long liked him back? Was in love with him ?

 

Marco reacted in mirror with Jean and grew bright red. Nobody would believe they were two grownup men. Marco looked away sheepishly and replied "Well... I wanted to but then the zombies and all-".

 

Jean took his time to realize what was just happening. And when he did, he looked at Marco. "So I can do things like this ?" Jean said and his trembling hand went to cup Marco's cheek gently. "Or like this?" he added and took Marco's hand in his free hand. "Or- or this" he almost whispered and leaned in. And so, he just kissed his longtime crush and best friend Marco. And fuck it felt just amazing.

 

Jean was trembling as he approached Marco and it was so precious. Jean was precious. Marco nodded affirmatively at each question. He intertwined their fingers together when Jean took his hand. And at the last one, Marco nodded again making their noses touch before Jean leaned in and kissed Marco's lips. God, Marco never imagined a shy kiss like this would give him the goosebumps. With his free hand Marco went to cup the back of Jean's head as he did the other day when he was about to kiss him.

 

Jean couldn't describe how he felt. It was just... amazing. Once sure Marco didn't push him back, Jean grew a bit more confident and leaned more in, deepening the kiss a bit. Then they parted lips. Jean couldn't get any redder, right? He looked up at Marco. He had to say it properly again. "I love you too. From the bottom of my heart" he said before he hugged Marco carefully (he was still injured after all). He then backed up again. "S-So since when do you... love me?" he asked. It was strange to say such words.

 

Marco felt his heart melt once in the kiss then twice because of Jean's words. He felt as if all this melted substance was meant to cover his rotten parts inside. Marco felt amazingly at peace... He hugged Jean back without suppressing his romantic way of doing so, this time. "How long... Ehm, to be honest it started years ago. At- I don't know, at eight I already looked at you as someone very special. Sorry if that's g-grossing you out or anything. Anyway, loving you... Maybe around 12" Marco replied honestly but quite shy about it.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows and facepalmed himself before he bumped Marco's chest. "We're fucking idiots" he said and sighed. "Me too. Since a fucking long time I... had a crush on you" he admitted. So all this time they travelled together now they could have been together like a couple ?? Jean looked down but smiled. Somehow he was extremely happy now.

 

Oh god this smile Marco spotted on Jean's lips made him weak at the knees. Good thing he was already sitting. So Jean had l-loved him for so long ? But w-why ? In fact Marco couldn't care less about why. He turned Jean's face to his carefully and kissed him in his turn. Wow... Honestly it felt too good. Marco was the happiest man alive right now, to taste this, Jean's love.

 

Jean looked at Marco again when this one lifted his face up and kissed him. Jean grew already addicted to Marco's lips. They were kinda soft and rough at the same time but anyway they felt perfect made for his lips. Jean placed his hands carefully on Marco's shoulders and kissed him back, more passionate this time.

 

They were still exchanging innocent sweet kisses for now but as Jean grew more into it and reached for Marco's back, the freckled guy delicately laid him on the mattress between two kisses.

 

Jean continued kissing Marco and ran his hands over Marco's back. It felt so good... Jean was kinda controlling their kissing and wanted to deepen it even more, but Jean stopped. "You have to rest your body, you can barely walk" he said once Marco was on top of him. So Jean sat up and pressed Marco carefully down so he laid down. "You still have to recover after all" he said and caressed Marco's cheek. This had to be a dream.

 

So sweet. Even a man with a body built like Marco appreciated a good load of sweetness. "Geez, you sound like a mom" Marco teased sticking his tongue out but then grinned lovingly at Jean. His hand caressing Marco's cheek was soft. Marco decided to comply obediently and laid down, his gaze lost on Jean's features.

 

"I do not!" Jean said grumpily. He just worried and cared about Marco a lot. Jean was glad though that Marco really laid down. With the wounds he had Marco should do nothing else but to stay in bed. Jean so wanted to continue kissing Marco. "How's your throat and your body doing ?" he asked and looked at every bandage Marco had.

 

"It's all better already" he said cheerfully but knew that his face was slightly red. Jean was observing many parts of his body after all and well, it was easy to get in the mood so Marco wished Jean could finish checking him out quickly.

 

"Said the one who managed to get a slightly sliced up throat and at least one black eye and several open wounds on his limbs" Jean replied and sighed. He looked back into Marco's eye. "I just want you to recover. I don't want you to be in pain" he said and pushed some hair back from Marco's forehead.

 

Jean was so sweet Marco wanted to eat him up on the spot. But he wouldn't go against Jean's wishes. Marco guessed his dark blush didn't go away. He cupped Jean's cheek and smiled at him. "Then I'll let you know that I'm not in pain right now. It's the exact opposite".

 

Jean nodded. "Good. But you know how long just my leg took to heal and it's not perfectly healed yet just like your back. So you'll have to stay a longer time in bed or at least recover. I can bring you food and such then" Jean offered before he leaned down to kiss Marco quickly. It still felt a bit strange to do this, but it was amazing anyways.

 

Marco nodded deciding he wouldn't fight for it now. Of course his body needed rest but Marco grew so easily bored. His face reddened more as Jean leaned on him and put their lips together. Marco was truly surprised that Jean was so sweet. His lips were soft and sugary, something Marco never tasted before - and it was exquisite.

 

It was not that comfortable being positioned like this because Jean had to be carefuly where to put his legs and arms because it would be fatal if he just laid on a wound of Marco. But it was okay because he still could kiss Marco. He was already kissing passionate again, running his hands slowly and very very very carefully down Marco's neck. The skin of his throat was red and blue and just looked awful. Poor Marco.

 

Marco controlled himself the best he could between pinning Jean on the mattress and kissing him long and passionate, and flinching under Jean's touch because yeah his neck was still hypersensitive. Anyway Jean kissing him was already on high level in his preferences, he could deal with this.

 

Jean pulled his hands back from Marco's neck since Marco was flinching. Poor Marco... Instead Jean concentrated on Marco's lips. He swiftly brushed his tongue over them. Yup, they really did taste good.

 

The tip of Jean's tongue over Marco's lips made him shiver. Marco parted a little to have a look at Jean.

 

Jean blushed when Marco shivered. Marco was so so precious. Jean was a bit confused though when Marco decided to part their lips. "What is it?" Jean whispered and smiled at Marco.

 

Marco ran a hand on Jean's cheek, amazed. With his cheeks painted in pink and his eyes spitting love on Marco. How could have Marco not noticed sooner ? "You're beautiful" he replied smiling too in a daze.

 

Jean blushed furiously and looked down. "Th-Thanks" he replied quietly. "But you are even more beautiful" he said and looked at Marco again.

 

Jean's reaction was adorable. Marco wanted to see more of this side of Jean. Marco chuckled lightly at the compliment though it made him flustered. "With my face looking like it has been rolled on ?" he asked.

 

Jean chuckled as well. "Yeah with your face looking like it's been rolled on" he said and kissed Marco's forehead. Then he laid down next to Marco. "It's late, we should go to sleep... Or talk a bit more. I still can't believe we were too dumb to not notice" Jean said and chuckled. "We could have been together for some time now" he added but then blushed again. He laid on his side to face Marco. "I mean- we are together now, r-right?" God just thinking of him and Marco as a couple !

 

Marco combusted. Jean was too much for him. Too precious. "Of course we are. Do I need to call you darling to make it official ?" Marco teased when he was so flustered himself. "We need to get used to it" Marco said laughing lightly.

 

"Please no" Jean said and sighed before he chuckled. "I can't believe it somehow. I mean- I always admired you, liked you for such a long time and now you're my- my boyfriend" he said. Boyfriend. Jean needed to get used to that.

 

All the blood contained in Marco rushed to his face. 'Cooome on, act like a brat now !' Marco needed to get used to that too. "Y-Yeah.. Same here. W-wait, 'admire' me ? When ? Before the apocalypse ? I-I was just weak and shy Jean I-" he stuttered somehow. Marco didn't see why Jean would be interested in the previous Marco. He was kind of chubby and not very masculine.

 

Marco seemed surprised about the fact Jean had and still did admire him. "Yeah, I always did" he replied and nodded. "You see, you always were the perfect kid. Nice, kind, fair, a good student, tidy. You cared about everyone and tried to make everyone happy. Of course I admire someone like that especially because I'm kinda the opposite" he explained looking at Marco.

 

Oh... Well, all those things Marco did them naturally in the past so he wasn't exactly aware of it. "You may have been the opposite, you were the coolest of the kids, badass and stubborn. I was dreaming of becoming like you" Marco replied letting out a nostalgic chuckle.

 

"Cool ? I was just messy and a package full of grumpiness. I still am" he replied and laughed. He took a deep breath and pulled Marco carefully to his chest so he could caress the dark hair a bit. "It wouldn't suit you to become like me" Jean said and chuckled.

 

Marco chuckled again. "Yeah, I wouldn't do it as well as you" Marco teased him gently though he didn't think that at all and went to kiss Jean's lips softly.

 

"Do what ?" Jean asked. But instead of a reply he received a light kiss. Again, why did this feel so good? It was not like Jean didn't kiss before, but with Marco it was so special. "We should sleep. I probably have to hunt tomorrow again so it wouldn't be good if I am lacking sleep" he murmured.

 

Marco ready to place kisses all over Jean's skin backed up a little bit. "Oh- yeah I guess it's better if you sleep then" Marco replied. This time Marco could slide an arm around Jean before he fell asleep.... Confessing and entering in a relationship with Jean was going to change a lot of small things, wasn't it ? 

 

"You sound a bit disappointed" Jean noticed when Marco backed up confused. Jean tilted his head and looked at Marco. But yeah he needed the sleep and Marco too. Jean wanted to be the one sliding an arm around Marco this time, his overprotective senses were even more intense around Marco. But he wouldn't be able to do that because Marco had too much wounds, Jean would probably crush his arm then.

 

Marco half grinned at Jean. Yeah, he was kind if disappointed but the dark circles under Jean's eyes told him what to do. Marco kissed Jean a last time and closed his eye. He fell asleep almost instantly, Marco couldn't judge very well anymore if he was tired or not.

 

Jean smiled into the kiss and snuggled against Marco. He would sleep better this night for sure. "Good night Marco" he whispered and closed his eyes.

 

Marco was already too far in his sleep to hear him but Marco slept weightless this night. He even dreamt, a real happy dream. It has been so long since he last did.

 

Jean fell asleep quickly, he really was tired. He did not dream the best dream but this time for once he wasn't having his usual nightmare. He slept peacefully until morning.

 

The sun piercing through the window was gentle enough to wake Marco. No one knocking on the door nor sudden pain somewhere nor Jack nor Clarisse. Just the light. Marco reviewed yesterday's events and appreciated the delightful feeling it gave him. Marco opened his eye and was surprised to see Jean hadn't move much in his sleep. He seemed even closer to Marco as if he wanted to stick every inch of their skin together. Marco chuckled silently and hugged his b...boyfriend. Sounded so strange for now. Marco had to get used to it in order to live his dream with Jean. But it was a comfortable condition, no one would say otherwise.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows and woke up slowly as he got hugged. He opened his eyes and looked up at Marco, his beautiful Marco. According to how they slept what happened yesterday was real and not a dream. Jean stole himself a kiss. Yup, this was real. "Morning" he said.

 

"M-Morning" Marco replied shyly now. Oh god... Jean was looking at Marco with such eyes.

 

Jean blushed. The present Marco acting shy was like so precious... Jean could cuddle him to death. But that wouldn't be so good. "Do you feel a bit better already?" Jean asked. Marco's neck still was colorful.

 

"Of course I'm feeling better" Marco replied smirking a bit at Jean. How could he feel any pain at the moment ? He kissed Jean's forehead gently and replied because that was certainly what Jean meant with his question "My neck hurts. But I can speak and breath without problem now. The rest only feels all slumbered, it doesn't really hurt".

 

Jean nodded. Yeah Marco's neck really looked awful. "Okay. As long as it doesn't hurt it's fine. Even though I wished you're not injured at all" he said and caressed Marco's cheek slightly. He could touch Marco like that how good was that! "This is as far the best morning ever" he murmured and chuckled.

 

Marco gazed at Jean lovingly. "Yeah... I think so too" he murmured back and slid his hand up Jean's back to cuddle better.  
    
Jean smiled and hid his face in Marco's chest. Was this for real? "I'm so happy" he said and kissed Marco quickly.  
    
"And I'm happy that you're happy" Marco replied chuckling and kissed Jean back a few times. They were still exchanging innocent kisses but it was just enough for now. "We should go and eat breakfast, don't you think ?" Marco asked.

 

Jean nodded and sat up slowly. "Yeah let's eat breakfast" he said and stood up to help Marco get up.

 

Marco sighed. He wasn't very patient and wished he could walk properly already. Jean walked on closer to Marco who sat up on the edge of the bed. Suddenly overwhelmed, Marco grabbed Jean by the waist and moved him closer so he could sneak both arms around him. Marco looked up and grinned at Jean. He then rested his face on Jean's stomach. "Oh my god... I can't be happier" he whispered. His facial expression hasn't been showing such happiness for years after all.

 

Jean blushed and gasped when Marco pulled his arms around his waist. He blushed even more when Marco rested his head on his stomach. He smiled and ruffled Marco's hair. "Me too" he replied.

 

Marco looked up and once again was amazed by Jean's sweet eyes, smile, pink cheeks... He sighed happily and got on his feet. With Jean's help they reach the campfire were some people were already gathered.

 

Jean helped Marco to stand up and after a looong time they managed to go to the others and ate breakfast. They chitchatted but Jean looked at Marco often. His Marco.

 

Now that Marco was up again and that he didn't have a crying child on his knees, the others questioned him friendly about the accident. Marco replied patiently but right now what he was focused on was Jean. He met his eyes many times.

 

Jean smiled to himself. He was with Marco now... It was so awesome he still couldn't believe this was happening. Jean just wanted to be alone with his Marco now.

 

Since Marco couldn't walk around, they stayed there a little while but here again he started to get bored. Plus Jean had to help around the encampment. "Jean, ehm isn't there anything I can do ? Can I help with something?" he asked when Jean walked to Marco.

 

Jean looked at Marco. "Hmm... Maybe you could like make some more arrows. You can do that while sitting" Jean said and smiled at Marco. He wanted to lean down and kiss him but someone called for another zombie attack. Jean helped Marco to get quickly into their shack. "I'll be right back, promise" he said grabbing his gun and bow.

 

Marco grabbed some sticks on the floor that seemed to be good enough for arrows-to-be but then Jean dragged him in the shack because of zombies outside. "Jean !" Marco called out before this one passed the door. Marco blushed a bit though he didn't have a reason too. "Be careful, ok ?" he said with a tiny smile on the lips.

 

Jean turned around when Marco called for him. He smiled. "Now we changed roles, huh?" he said and walked quickly back to Marco. He kissed him quickly before he rushed outside to help the others.

 

"I guess we did" he replied chuckling slightly. Jean walked back closer. Marco was almost shocked when Jean kissed him... going from dream to reality suddenly. But it felt so incredibly good. Daydreaming in the room, Marco waited for Jean's return, hoping everything would go well outside.

 

There weren't as much zombies as the days before. But they were zombies and dangerous after all. Jean helped as much as he could. It was a lot easier with a better working leg now.

 

It took long... Marco was bored. He swore in silent as he stood by himself to go sit at the table with the few sticks and his knife. And he cut arrows, waiting.

 

It took them surprisingly long to shoot down the zombies. Jean was pretty much exhausted afterwards. He went to quickly wash the zombies' blood of his face before he walked back to his and Marco's shack. "I'm back" he said before he directly went to the bedroom and let himself fall down onto the bed.

 

Finally Jean was back and safe ! Marco smiled. And chuckled when Jean fell flat on the mattress. "You ok ?" Marco said looking at him worried and curious, wanting to make sure everything went good outside.

 

"Yeah it just was very tiring" Jean replied and stretched himself before laid down more comfortable. "How many arrows did you already make in the meantime?" he asked.

 

Marco nodded. Good, there wasn't anyone harmed. Marco turned fully in his chair to face Jean, which made him slightly wince. He glanced at the arrows and counted them. "Eight" he replied grinning. This stupid amazed smile wasn't going away. Jean, being his boyfriend, huh.

 

"Don't move so much!" Jean said when Marco winced. "Eight? That's a lot" Jean replied and nodded, proud of Marco. "Just some days more and you'll be able to do more, promise. I know how bad it is not to be able to walk and work properly but you really have to recover, you would have died back then if I didn't find you" Jean said and furrowed his eyebrows in worries.

 

He nodded again to Jean. "Can you ehm- help me please ?" Marco asked. He couldn't even stand alone...

 

Jean looked up. "Sure" he replied quickly and stood up. "Where do you want to go, monsieur?" he asked grinning once he helped Marco to stand up. Jean would be always there to help Marco but getting help himself he didn't like.

 

Marco blushed, getting escorted like this. He wanted to facepalm for acting like a kid around his crush again. "O-on the bed please" he replied pointing the large bed. His body would be better laid down.

 

"Okay" Jean said and walked over to the bed with Marco. He still was heavy so Jean let down Marco carefully with a light groan. He covered Marco's legs with the blankets. It still was winter outside after all.

 

Marco grinned more as Jean put blankets over him. Jean was so cute acting nearly like an overprotective parent. Marco held up the blanket, scooted to the side and patted the place next to him so Jean would sit too.

 

Jean didn't wait one second and sat next to Marco. "I hope you'll feel better soon" he said and caressed Marco's cheek.

 

"'already feeling better" Marco replied as he closed his eye and leaned in Jean's hand. He could stay like this all day, and night too. But someone knocked on the door.

 

"I'm glad" Jean said. He leaned in and wanted to kiss Marco but someone knocked the door. Jean sighed and stood up again, opening the door.

 

Missing a kiss of Jean, Marco pouted as he listened to the voice of their disturber.

 

Jean had opened the door and Jack stormed in. Obviously he wanted to see after Marco. Jean chuckled and let him be.

 

Marco could pardon this one. If Clarisse was the one interrupting them Marco would have kicked her off before she could tease Jean and Marco on their brand new relationship. Jack greeted Jean and ran to jump on the bed before he sat close to Marco. This little boy was a real magnet.

 

Jack really grew close to Marco huh? Jean watched the two of them for a moment before he sat down at the edge of the bed, letting the kid talk as much as he wanted to.

 

Jack spoke non stop about everything Marco could have missed while being laid in bed. He even told Marco about people Marco didn't know. After what seemed to be a good hour, Jack waved to Marco and ran outside again. This kid sure had energy to spend.

 

The boy was pretty much talkative. He talked about everyone and everything. Once left Jean sat next to Marco again. "He really likes you" Jean said and chuckled.

 

Marco smiled and sighed. "Yeah..." he said back and put his head to rest on Jean's shoulder. Marco was quite down-to-earth although he had dreams and such, the kid wouldn't stay with them no matter how attached he was.

 

"Is everything okay?" Jean asked as he heard Marco sigh. Jean put an arm carefully around Marco's shoulders when this one rested his head on Jean's shoulder.

 

"Mmh ?" Marco whispered as he closed his eye enjoying their proximity right now. "I just thought we should- we should find someone goo- wait no, someone perfect to keep him" he said.

 

Jean looked at Marco. Yeah, it was obvious Jack couldn't go with them. "He is good with Margaret and Nico. But I doubt he'll be very happy when you're leaving" he replied. "But he is better here than with us."

 

"That's what I was thinking too" Marco replied and turned a bit to face Jean. Marco decided to put aside the slightly depressing thoughts and kissed Jean's lips tenderly.

 

Jean nodded. Yeah the kid should stay here. Jean blushed a bit when Marco kissed him. It still was unbelievable that they were kissing, that they were together in the first place. Like for how long did he dream of this? Jean cupped Marco's cheek and kissed him back, slowly scooting closer. But he still had to be careful not to hurt one of Marco's wounds. If  Marco was absolutely healthy Jean would just have jumped onto him and covered him with kisses probably.

 

Jean was reacting to Marco's kisses and was as active as him which made each kiss turn quite passionate. Marco was very satisfied with it. They kissed for a moment, Marco started to nibble on Jean's lower lip a little. Soon it turned hotter in the room though it was only kisses.

 

Why did it feel so good? They were 'just' exchanging kisses, but when did he feel so good the last time? Jean let out the slightest moan. He leaned in more and brushed slowly over Marco's lips with his tongue, sure intending to deepen the kiss even more. Was he really just doing something like this with his crush and now boyfriend ?

 

Marco grew hotter hearing Jean's nearly silent moan. Even in his wildest dreams he didn't hear something similar. Marco encircled Jean with his arms and parted his lips impatiently.

 

Jean hoped the movements didn't hurt Marco. He did care about his health after all. But even his worries didn't stop him from slowly sliding his tongue between Marco's lips. He shivered for a moment because it. Felt. So. Damn. Good. Marco was a surprisingly good kisser. But Jean didn't except anything else from his best friend.

 

Growing more and more into it after what could have been 15 minutes of kissing non stop seriously, Marco craved for the feeling of Jean's skin. While rolling their tongues together, feeling like heaven, Marco slid a hand slowly under Jean's shirt and ran his thumb lovingly at the bottom of Jean's back. His skin was still inconceivably soft. Marco let out a small moan though he was the one touching and not being touched.

 

Jean felt getting hotter and hotter. It felt just so incredibly good. It felt like an eternity until their lips parted for a moment so both of them could breath. In the meantime Marco already had slid a hand under Jean's shirt. His hand was warm, it was a pretty good feeling. Jean looked up at Marco kinda in a daze. "Can I ask where did you learn to kiss so good?" he asked and looked into Marco's eye. And god Marco's moan was one of the most beautiful sounds Jean ever heard and it signalized him that he felt good, which was the most important. And Jean got turned on by it pretty easily.

 

Marco was now focused only on the two parts of his body receiving great sensations, his mouth and hands. But as they paused an instant and he noticed Jean's dazed eyes his brain couldn't focus anymore. As an answer Marco kissed him again passionate and when their lips parted slightly he replied quickly "-never learned anywhere-" and went to kiss Jean all over his so usual grumpy face that was now relaxed and slightly pink. Those eyes thought-

 

Jean raised his eyebrows when he received a kiss instead of an answer. Then Marco said he never learned it? What? As if! Jean closed his eyes for a second and let Marco place kisses all over his face. Then he looked up again. "When you didn't learn it... Did you got your first kiss from me then?" Jean asked. He wouldn't be mad if Marco had kissed someone before he just wanted to know.

 

Marco became bright red an instant and replied "Uhm- yeah actually that's true". Marco didn't feel exactly embarrassed about it since the only person he ever wanted to kiss was here in front of him.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows in surprise and backed slightly up. "Really?? I hope it was good then!" he said but blushed a bit. "I mean there are more important things to think of during the apocalypse but- I don't know I just hope I did good then" Jean said laughing slightly and scratched his neck.

 

Marco choked off a chuckle. "You did better than I ever dared imagine" he replied blushing and closed the space between them again. Now that Marco tasted how sweet was Jean, he didn't want to let go. At least not during the hour to come. After they had to eat and help around. More like Marco would just sit and make hundred arrows till the sun set.

 

"Whew, I'm glad" he said and smiled softly at his b-boyfriend. He still wasn't used to that. Jean was kinda glad he could calm down a bit again. If he got turned on to the point of no return and then suddenly he'd have to fight zombies... That wouldn't be so good. Now that they were so close again, Jean wanted to touch Marco, feel his freckled skin. But he had bandages and scratches and whatever everywhere so he couldn't just slide a hand under his shirt, he could hurt him because of that."So what do you wanna do now? We probably don't have much time left and I offered my help to prepare lunch" Jean explained and looked at Marco.

"Mnh~ I want to stay here with you and not move" Marco replied as he tilted his head. He led his lips to Jean's neck and place kisses there, right under Jean's ear. 

"Hey we need to help here and there for getting a shack" Jean replied and chuckled. It was just fair. Jean blushed again when Marco kissed him under his ear. It made him shiver a bit and he smiled at Marco. "I love you" he said. "God I can't believe I can say that now" he said and let out a chuckle.

 

Marco didn't feel prepared to hear those words right now and felt his body melt into a puddle of happiness. He backed up just a bit and repeated Jean's words "Jean- I love you too". Marco was slightly blushing as he said it for the second time out loud.

 

Marco looked sooo adorable like that ! Jean just wanted to squeeze him right now. But he couldn't obviously. Jean smiled and blushed as well when Marco repeated those words. He leaned against Marco and smiled. "I'm so happy" he said. "But now the fear of losing you is even bigger than before if it even can get any bigger" he murmured.  
    
Marco replaced his hands on Jean's back, feeling the milky-soft skin again. Jean was perfect for him and there was no way they got separated now of all time. Marco kissed Jean on the temple and murmured back "Same here. Don't let anything happen when I'm not in condition to run to your side, ok ?"

 

Jean cupped Marco's cheeks again and nodded. "Same goes for you" he said. "I'll be careful. As always, don't underestimate me" he added and grinned proudly.

 

Marco breathed out and relaxed in Jean's hands, he nodded too. "I don't underestimate you, you're the strongest of the men I've ever known" he replied chuckling. But it was true, Jean was the strongest because he was mentally stronger than any other fellow.

 

Jean blushed and looked at Marco. "Do you really t-think so?" he asked and looked at Marco. Somehow this was a nice compliment even though Jean knew he wasn't weak especially physically.

 

Marco was really weak to these eyes. "Yes I think so. Both physically and mentally strong" Marco replied moving his hands around slowly.

 

Marco's hands were so soft, it felt so wonderful. He was mentally strong? "I'm not that mentally strong I hardly could bring myself to- that thing with the girl" he said and looked down. It still was bothering him much.

 

Marco raised up Jean's chin gently. "That's exactly what I was thinking about. Only someone strong and fair could do it" Marco said to him. The little girl would have felt the worst pain if Jean didn't have done that. And Jack... Seeing his dear sister turning into some monster.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. So he was strong because he could kill the girl? Was that the logic Marco followed ? Jean sighed slightly. "Maybe you're right but I wished I wouldn't have to do it at all" he said and clenched his teeth.

 

"You had it hard... I wished you never had to end h-her life either. But someone had to take the pain away from Jeanne. You have a big heart Jean. And even before the apocalypse, though being seen as the grumpy guy around, you had a warm heart beating for the ones you loved. I-I loved the idea of being one of those persons..." Marco said to Jean. Marco sighed because of a lot of things. He wished Jean didn't have to suffer.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows and blushed again (which he did like so often now) and looked at Marco. "You are one of those person when not the one" Jean replied and kissed Marco's nose gently. Jean would love to just sit onto Marco now but again: Marco was too much wounded. But Jean had to leave in a short time anyway, he couldn't just start making out again.

 

The discussion had turned from cheesy to sad and depressing to confessing and for now Marco would love to lay down in silent and cuddle with Jean. But Jean had to go in a few minutes and Marco would just stay here getting bored.   
Marco snuggled closer but with his neck hurting he couldn't rest his head on Jean... He sighed again and touched his neck carefully from the tip of his fingers. Some parts were healing but around the slice was untouchable. He let go and looked back into Jean's eyes.

 

"I have to go soon so uhm- I better go now. See you later" Jean said and quickly kissed him before he got off the bed and outside helping for lunch.

 

Marco pouted at the words. "I don't want you to go" he complained though he knew Jean couldn't stay with him all day. Marco enjoyed the kiss and Jean stood up. "Can you- do you think you could find something like crutches ? Please" Marco asked before Jean went out. Having something of the sort, Marco could at least join around the campfire if he was too bored.

 

Jean nodded. "I'll try" he said smiling at Marco before he got outside. He didn't want to leave Marco at all but he couldn't stay in bed when he was healthy.

 

So Marco waited for Jean to return. He was sulking childishly and laid under the blanket. For a while Marco daydreamed about Jean and their relationship. He felt happier than ever on that point. Marco would deny it but he was still tired, more like his body was tired and he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it ?  
> Don't hesitate to let a little comment or kudos !


	26. Wrist lovebite as a promise to come back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize again for the wait between the chapters. Life isn't easy recently but this rp will keep on being updated. Take care of you all ❤  
> Loving you

   
   
Jean helped to prepare lunch a bit before he met Luna, asking her if she had any crutches. She replied with no but wanted to make some for Clarisse and Jean could join. Of course Jean did. Luna really was a good nurse. She showed Jean how to make crutches out of woods. Well, in the end they looked like crap but Jean had really tried and according to Luna they'd work even though they weren't beautiful. At least a bit proud of himself, he returned to the shack right before lunch, the crutches inhis hands. "I'm back" he said and closed the door behind him.

 

Marco awoke as he heard the door cringe but he fell asleep again almost immediately. His body needed to rest despite what Marco could think.

 

Jean looked around and walked to the bedroom. He leaned the crutches against the wall and looked at Marco. He chuckled because it looked so cute seeing Marco sleeping so peacefully. Jean decided to let him sleep some more.

 

The day passed by and Marco woke up because of his stomach grumbling too much. He didn't have lunch after all.

 

At some point Jean went to eat lunch and when he came back Marco still was sleeping. Actually Marco slept until it got dark. Jean was already back in the shack but didn't wake him up. Marco needed the sleep for sure.

 

Marco felt bless to wake up to the sight of Jean near him. Marco sat up, he yawned once and smiled to Jean.

 

Jean heard someone yawn and turned around. He smiled at Marco as this one was slowly waking up. "Good morning- or should I say good evening" he said and laughed slightly. "You slept for a long time, it's already dark outside and dinner is ready soon" he informed Marco.

 

Haa, seeing Jean was great. Marco chuckled a little and asked nonchalantly "Is that true ? I slept so long ? Oh ! Did you find crutches ?"

 

"Yup you slept like so long today" Jean answered his question and chuckled. When Marco asked about the crutches, Jean scratched his neck. "Well uhm Luna showed me how to make them because we don't have any. So uh I know it looks like total crap but she said it should be good enough to work" Jean explained and blushed a bit. He knew they didn't look good and Marco would have done better probably.

 

"Wait- Jean ! That's awesome" Marco first said beaming. "Well you actually had the patience of doing this for me" he added and laughed a bit. "Anyway, thank you !"

 

Jean stood up quickly and showed them to Marco. "I'd do hundred more if you needed them" he said and handed Marco the crutches so he could test them out even though he wanted to cuddle with Marco now.

 

Marco almost blushed because of Jean's reply. He gladly took the crutches in hand and slid out of the blanket. The small bruises on his arms made it slightly difficult but it was ok. He slowly got on his feet. The feeling wasn't so bad and it was helping for real. Marco turned a bit in the room, step by step slowly. He could get used to it quickly. He stepped close to Jean and thanked him again.

 

Jean watched Marco walking with those things. It hurt him inside that Marco had to walk with them in the first place. But then he remembered if he had have crutches, he would have needed them for his leg too. "So they are good enough?" he asked when Marco thanked him. Somehow he was glad he actually did make something on his own.

 

"Perfect enough" Marco said as he came closer some more. Apparently the current Marco wasn't as patient as he was before and he was glad to be able to move around somehow freely.

 

"I'm glad" Jean said and sighed in relief. "It took me fucking hours to make those" he said and ran a hand through his hair. He watched Marco some more and sat down onto the bed.

 

Marco stopped in his doings and went to sit with Jean. "You're alright ? Tired maybe ?" he asked concerned and curious.

 

"Yeah I'm fine, just a bit tired. You wanna eat something?" he asked and looked at Marco as this one sat down next to him. "I mean you haven't eaten once after breakfast" he quickly added. "Dinner is ready in a short time."

 

"Oh yes, that'd be great" Marco replied with a smile. Going outside meant keeping their distances somehow so Marco took his time here, he leaned in a bit waiting for some sort of approval from Jean and kissed his sweet lips. It was so enjoyable to kiss him after years of dreaming to do so.

 

"Okay, that's good" he replied and nodded. He smiled at Marco as this one leaned in. Jean kissed Marco back gently. Finally he could do that, he was without Marco's kisses for a looong time. Jean reached out to touch Marco's neck but he remembered that Marco was too sensitive there. So instead he rested his hand on Marco's shoulder.

 

Each kiss was a pure instant of bliss and Jean was giving a lot to Marco on this aspect. They parted after a few small kisses in a row, cut by Marco's stomach complaining out loud. Marco chuckled embarrassed and took the crutches back to stand.

 

They were exchanging a few sweet kisses when Marco's stomach started to growl loudly. Jean laughed slightly and helped Marco to stand up. Now that Marco had the crutches, they could walk a bit faster. "Come on, let's go outside" he said. He'd love to take Marco's hand but to do all the little things couples did he had to wait for Marco to recover. And he would wait of course.

 

With the crutches Marco felt suddenly free. He wanted to walk at Jean's pace (but obviously couldn't), Jean was the one taking Marco's pace. They gathered around the fire and Marco unusually went to sit next to Clarisse that pairing with her crutches too. Hers looked more professionally made but Marco loved the ones Jean did for him. Margaret served dinner and again everyone chatted around the fire.

 

They walked towards the others. Jean sighed silently when he saw the crutches Clarisse had. But well Marco was fine with those Jean made and they worked fine, so why complaining? They got dinner, ate and chatted happily.

 

At some point Marco couldn't miss an apparition of Jack to his side. The boy talked passionately to Marco about how he learned how to make a fire and all.  
The days were kind of repeating themselves in the 'village'. What has changed was the proximity allowed between Jean and Marco. And the bruises that covered the freckled man.

 

Jean was talking much with Clarisse, she was talkative after all. The day went by fast like many others. Jean never thought they'd stay for long but Marco needed to heal. And he did better every day, even though is neck looked like so awful...

 

Two zombies walked by but they weren't wild and the two tall guys took care of it. When it started to grow darker, everyone returned to the shack. Marco was surprised to feel tired again when he slept so much in the day.

 

They returned to their shack again. Jean could already notice that Marco seemed tired. But that was just logical, his body took the energy to heal and recover, there wasn't much energy for Marco left then. Jean opened the door for his boyfriend (still weird) and closed it behind him, freezing a bit. Today it was unusually cold. And how he praised the blankets for being there for him.

 

Marco quickly went under the blanket and curled up a bit. His body wasn't doing so good right now. Because each wound was slowly closing and it hurt a bit and it was itching. He waited for Jean and cuddled a bit against him. No need to be shy at the moment. Marco just wanted to be close. He closed his eye and focused on Jean's warm body next to him.

 

Jean was under the blankets as quick as Marco because it was way warmer there. He smiled a bit when Marco cuddled against him. This time he wrapped and arm around Marco's shoulder but of course he did it carefully.

 

Luckily Marco's wounds on his back were healing quickly and he didn't flinch nor wince when Jean slid an arm around him. Marco did the same on his part, slid a hand on Jean's back. Marco was glad and smiled quite satisfied with the situation. If he wasn't hurt things would be even better but a day would come when he would be completely healed.

 

Jean was relieved Marco didn't feel any pain when Jean did this. He pulled Marco a bit closer and leaned against him. For today he was happy with just being close with Marco like that. "Are you tired?" he asked but well he knew, he didn't even have to ask. Marco looked tired.

 

Marco sighed and looked up to Jean's eyes. "Yeah" he whispered back. He wished tomorrow he would feel better. For now, he smiled softly to Jean. How good it was to have Jean by his side...

 

"Then you should sleep" Jean murmured and kissed Marco's head. "You shouldn't stay up late" he added. Maybe he really sounded like a mother here, but well he just was concerned about Marco.

 

Marco nodded obediently. "I love you, Jean" he said first, looking into Jean's eyes. Now he could just go and sleep.

 

Jean smiled immediately by Marco's words and laid down a bit more. "I love you too" he said and smiled at him. His dreams really came true huh?

 

Marco smiled more and fell asleep immediately. He slept like a baby, curled on himself. He grabbed something at some point. Something that moved in his hand, maybe another hand actually. He slept peacefully till morning.

 

Jean couldn't contain a silent 'aww' when Marco fell asleep and curled up to a ball. Jean fell asleep close to Marco. He woke up in the middle of the night though, covered in sweat. But just looking at a peacefully sleeping Marco was enough to calm down again. Jean sighed slightly and fell asleep again. He slept until morning and woke up when the sunlight was shining through the little window. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at first at Marco. Jean smiled and kissed Marco on his forehead lightly, letting him sleep.

 

Marco slept a little longer but not too much. Jean was still there... Close... Marco wondered if he was dreaming again but he remembered fast. "Good morning, my sweet darling" Marco mumbled softly. It took him a few minutes to wake up fully.

 

Jean could feel his head heat up in seconds. He was probably red as a tomato. "G-Good morning" Jean replied and looked away. Marco couldn't just say that, this was too much for his heart.

 

"Huh ? You're all red, Jean" Marco said. Because yeah Marco was an idiot when it comes to love. He sat and rubbed his eye. Somehow his patch was bothering him today. He turned away from Jean the time to take it off and carefully touched the scar. Checking it somehow. And he went to put it on again.

 

"Of c-course I am when you call me that" he said and ran a hand through his face. Jean watched Marco turning away from him to take off the eye patch. As he was about to put it on again, Jean sat up a bit and helped him, Marco still couldn't move that good.

 

"Oh. Um, thank you" Marco said at the same time shocked and confused and a lot of inconsequential feelings blowing up inside him. It made him act all shy. It was the first time someone did this for him. Though Jean helped him last time, it didn't feel the same. After all Marco still had two eyes when he last had seen the people he was living with before. Now... now he had Jean and one eye left. It was okay.

 

"No problem" Jean said and smiled. Marco didn't have to act all shy about it at all. Jean was absolutely fine with Marco having the patch. When Marco turned around again, Jean cupped Marco's cheeks and kissed first his nose, then lightly over the eye patch. He backed up again and looked at Marco. "Did you sleep well?" he asked.

 

Marco's heart did strange things as Jean kissed him twice, once on the eyepatch. "I- yeah, very well. And y-you ?" he asked. He would be surprised to hear a clear yes. Jean must still be swallowing the events of last week.

 

Jean sighed slightly. "Well, not so good. I woke up again. But it's fine, I could fall asleep again then" he explained and shrugged his shoulders before he ran a hand through his hair, yawning.

 

Marco imitated Jean's move and ran a gentle hand in the ash blond hair. "At least you slept a bit. I'm glad" he replied always concerned about the other man.

 

Jean blushed again. Marco's doings were so gentle and soft, Jean loved it. "Yeah" he just replied. "At least you could sleep the whole night. Do you feel already better? What about your neck?" Jean asked worried. And well he wanted to kiss Marco's neck.

 

Blushing because of Marco's doings was extremely adorable. Marco slid his fingers to Jean's cheek and caressed it with love. "Sadly, my neck still hurt. I need to change the bandage today" he replied. The rest of his wounds were healing good but this slice would obviously need longer than 6 days to close and scar.

 

Jean nodded and looked down at Marco's neck. It still was... colorful. "Then you should go to Luna right after breakfast. It's good we have her I don't even know what we'd do if that happened somewhere outside" he said and sighed. Maybe he would have lost Marco then.

 

Marco gulped at the thought. Unless another miracle occurred, he knew what he would be at the moment. He took Jean's hand in his. It was already amazing that both of them survived their previous wounds. Jean had had a super high fever ! Marco looked up. "Yeah, I'll go right after breakfast" he replied with a small genuine smile destined to his l-lover. Hello pink cheeks. Yes, lovers that's what they were now when one of them could have died long ago. Everyday stood the possibility to dramatically lose the other. Marco was honestly terrified by the idea. It was what he feared the most now.

 

"Okay, good" Jean replied and agreed with Marco. It was true, both of them were kinda tough and went through a lot without dying (even though sometimes Jean has been close to it). Jean quickly stole himself a kiss before he stood up and handed Marco his crutches. "Come on, let's go eat something" he said and smiled. Hopefully this would be a peaceful day like the days before.

 

The small kiss Jean laid on Marco's lips cheered him enough and Marco took the crutches and stood next to Jean. "Give me another first" Marco claimed before they went outside. He wanted to taste Jean more than food.

 

Jean chuckled and turned around to Marco. "You could always say please" Jean said before he leaned in again and kissed Marco quite passionate. He would love to just push Marco down onto the bed but well the reason why he couldn't was pretty much clear.

 

"Please" Marco said in a charming voice as Jean leaned in. Wow Marco was expecting a quick kiss again but well Jean went into it. Surprised Marco let out the slightest moan. Marco had a hunch that between them, Jean would get to lead Marco more than once. Marco was so weak to Jean.

 

Jean grinned when he backed up. He sure had surprised Marco huh? "That was for the 'please' my dear" he said and winked at him. "Okay, we should go eat breakfast now. I'm kinda starving" he said and laughed slightly.

 

Oh shit, Marco's face combusted to that. And that wink. No it was too much. They stepped outside, Marco being silent and still impressively red.

 

Jean liked that Marco could blush like that. It showed that Marco still had his adorable and cute side. They went outside and walked to the breakfast, where the group was discussing hot heated. What was going on?

 

Everyone was reassembled on a tight spot. Marco wondered if there was a problem...

 

They sat down and Jean listened to what was going on. They were arguing about a... group? Yeah a group which were definitely enemies. According to the description of Luna that wasn't Marco's previous group. Good. And now he understood what they were discussing about. They wanted to send out a team to take care of them because the group was stealing and killing from everywhere. Especially Margaret was scared for the kids. The group seemed to take kids with them and trade them. Jean sighed. Why were there groups like this out there?

 

The situation was serious. And Marco... He didn't want to come up in the conversation but well- he gulped- who was better placed than him in fighting strategies and beating groups ?  
He discreetly squeezed Jean's hand in his a second. He needed some courage now. What if they started doubting him and ask questions after ? But he had to help in the best way he could. Marco let go of Jean's hand and stood then cleared his throat to get attention.  
Everybody turned to him almost too fast and he wanted to return by Jean's side.  
"So ehm, I won't be able to fight alongside with you guys but we need a plan. And if I could show you a good strategy-" he started, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear and explained how things could be done to get the best results.

 

This was serious and Jean didn't like it. It was obvious who would have to go on this trip. Jean looked up at Marco, surprised as this one stood up. What was he doing? Jean furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Marco started talking about a plan, which was good. But Jean noticed quickly that the plan Marco had was nothing different to what he did with his previous group to attack others... But for now they had to do it, what if the enemies' group would kidnap Jack and Nico?

 

As he finished, Marco breathed out and looked around him to see fear and doubt in the others' expressions. But there was nothing like that. Margaret who seemed seriously angry with her eyebrows were so furrowed at the moment, nodded at Marco's explanation. Some looked at him a bit confused. And others nodded. He breathed out finally and now feared to turn to Jean. What was Jean thinking of this ? Would he blame Marco for this ?

 

Everyone seemed to accept Marco's plan. It was probably the only way huh? Once they were talking this through, they started to choose the ones who would go on this trip. Jean was obviously one of them. But he was fine with it, he didn't expect anything else.

 

Jean was chosen huh ? Indeed. Marco sighed. He went to sit on the bench. He wished he didn't have to do that. And that he could keep Jean to his side but on the contrary, Jean would logically take Marco's usual place in this 'mission'.

 

They agreed to start in the late afternoon. After breakfast then Jean sat down next to Marco. "It's good that you had a plan. This group is... Not very suited for attacking other groups or at least they don't have the experience" Jean explained. He had to say it even though he knew Marco wouldn't like to hear it.

 

Today already ? But it was logical. Marco continuously sighed until Jean sat next to him. Marco hummed some sort of reply and looked around. Jack and Nico were running together without any clue of the current situation. At least those two would be safe.

 

Jean sighed. He didn't want to leave Marco, this trip could take more than a day if they had bad luck. But Jean couldn't just sit here when he was able to help. That was Jean after all. "Don't worry, we'll succeed and I'll be back this evening" Jean said and smiled but murmured a 'hopefully' behind.

 

Marco didn't care about others around, he put his head on Jean's shoulder and closed his eyes. Marco knew he was horribly frowning. "Don't do anything reckless ok ?" he asked Jean.

 

"I won't, promise. I want to return to you after all" Jean said and kissed his cheek. He didn't care that they still sat outside. "Wanna go in?" he asked. Inside the shack it was way warmer.

 

Marco sighed again and nodded. He was already stressing over this too much. "Should I make you more arrows ?" Marco asked as they entered the shack.

 

They walked into the shack and Jean nodded. "Yeah some more arrows would be pretty good" he replied. "Thank you babe" he said. He didn't know why he came up with that nickname but well he wanted to test how Marco would react to it. But words like 'babe' 'dear' or even 'boyfriend' were still so weird !

 

"Ok" Marco replied first, tensed and worried. But this nickname coming out of the blue literally made him choke. He immediately grew scarlet and bumped Jean's arm softly. "Please, Jean-" he scolded him all embarrassed. He never imagined getting called this one day. Something like 'dear' and 'love' were classic but...

 

Jean started laughing immediately at Marco's reaction. He even had to hold his stomach because it started to hurt. "God you're so adorable like this" he stated and laughed some more. Once a bit calmer he smiled at Marco. "Hey I just wanted to tease you a bit- or at least try to find out which nicknames do you like. Obviously not this one" he said and started laughing once again.

 

"Obviously not this one" Marco repeated still awfully red. What was Jean playing at in this critical situation ? (Joking. Marco didn't blame it at all).

 

Jean chuckled. Maybe he wanted to joke around with Marco now because he would have to leave him later, probably for longer than a day. "You can make the arrows in bed, right?" he asked as he let himself fall down onto the mattress.

 

"Do you secretly wish to sleep in woods chips ?" Marco asked arching his eyebrows dramatically.

 

"Okay okay bad idea" Jean said and sat up. "Then sit at the table, it's probably better" he replied and smiled slightly at Marco.  
 

"I'll do that" Marco replied smiling at Jean. He still had some sticks left from the other day. He sat and started passing his nerves on the thin piece of wood. Marco planned to make five of them in a hour, making perfectly.

 

Jean watched Marco for a while before he decided to lay down a bit at least. He could rest like this pretty good. And he started thinking about the 'mission' he was now going to. Hopefully everything would turn out well. But Jean swore, he definitely would come back. No way he would give up fighting or anything if something happened. He would come back to his Marco for sure.

 

Marco did two more and achieved 16 arrows with the one he had already made the other day. He put his knife down, brushed the dust off his hands and turned to Jean. "I finished it" he finally told him.

 

Jean sat up again when Marco stated he had finished. "Awesome" Jean said and smiled at him. He looked at Marco and raised his eyebrows. "So.... Now that you're finished, you can come join me here right? The bed's so big without you" Jean said and grinned. He wanted at least some time with Marco before he could go. Just holding him in his arms, sweet talking to him and things as such.

 

"Jean you're wild today" Marco teased a bit more than necessary. Nevertheless he went to the bed and laid down too. And his body thanked him for this.

 

"I am 'wild'?" Jean repeated and started chuckling. "I just want to spend some time with my boyfriend okay I'm not wild" he explained to Marco with a serious face before he started grinning again. "And it's better for your body too. You still have to rest a lot" Jean said in a more worried voice.

 

Marco nodded happily. Again Jean was so good to him. Marco didn't have to be begged, he snuggled closer to Jean's chest. And finally his neck. He gave it a few light kisses before he backed up grinning.

 

Immediately when Marco snuggled close to his chest, Jean wrapped his arms around him. He blushed and shivered slightly when Marco kissed his neck. It was light and oh so dearing, but felt good anyway. He pouted a bit. "Why's your neck still so red and blue I want to kiss it" he said and sighed overdramatically.

 

Marco sighed and chuckled. "I'll try to heal faster for you" he replied and smiled.

 

Jean chuckled but shook his head. "Nah, take your time to heal properly please" he replied and looked at Marco dearingly. Marco could take his time if that meant he would recover perfectly.

 

Marco relaxed in Jean's arms... "It's warm and comfy there" he murmured placing his face even closer to Jean's chest. He could hear Jean's heart beating. What a wonderful sound to hear before this one went to fight.

 

He just hummed agreeing. Jean looked down at Marco as this one placed his face right on his chest. He blushed but smiled. And he raised his eyebrows a bit. Right now Marco was like his previous self, the warmhearted Marco. Jean had already notice, the longer Marco was with him the more he changed back to who he really was. Jean quickly kissed the top of Marco's head and held him still in his arms, caressing his arms with his thumps a bit.

 

Marco rested here and tried not to think too much. He didn't want to let Jean go alone. If he could.. If Marco could let him a reminder or something like this that Marco was waiting for Jean to return to him. Jean brushed Marco's arm with his wrist and Marco slowly took this thin wrist between his hand. "Don't move" he asked before he placed his lips on the soft skin. Marco started to suck a little bit then harder on the same spot. He kissed this same spot again and released Jean's wrist. "Done... You'll keep that until you return. The sooner the better" he said.

 

Jean closed his eyes for a moment and relaxed. He was so glad he could have Marco here in his arms now. He opened his eyes again when Marco grabbed his wrist suddenly. He raised an eyebrow. What was Marco up to? He started kissing and... sucking? on Jean's wrist. Once Marco had backed up a bit Jean blushed as he looked at his wrist. "You did just not mark me" he said and looked down at Marco. Then he chuckled. "Don't worry I'm pretty much sure this still is there when I return" he said.

 

"Uh uhm yes" Marco replied blushing. Then he nodded. If Jean could be back tonight it'd be awesome. But this kind of 'mission' was rarely taking a day.

 

Jean squeezed Marco slightly and did not let go of him. Especially because he had to go at some point and Marco was Marco again, even if it maybe would just be for the time in here. "Love you" he whispered and grinned.

 

Marco snuggled more as Jean kept him tight here. His heart was melting again hearing those words. "I love you" he said back.

 

Jean didn't know for how long they stayed like this. But that wasn't important. Important was that Marco was with him, that they were here together, cuddling. "I have to go soon..." he said and sighed in silence.

 

"Yeah" Marco mumbled all sad. "-don't want you to go. Be careful" he said hugging Jean tight around the chest. He breathed in long and deep. 'It will be ok' Marco repeated to himself. If he had a magic trick to ensure Jean's safety he would use it for sure.

 

Oh god Jean felt so bad now that he had to go when Marco hugged him so tight. Marco really was precious. He wasn't a merciless leader. That was for sure. "I don't want to leave you either. But I'll come back, promise. Even if we take longer than a day don't give up on me okay I will come back to you" he said and kissed the top of Marco's head again.

 

"A-alright. Then I suppose it's time" Marco stuttered and let go of Jean the slowest possible.

 

Jean sighed. He didn't want to let go of Marco just now. But he had to. He stood up and searched for his things. First he packed all the arrows Marco made, then his other weapons and some things to eat. He looked at his wrist. Yeah, he'd come back.

 

Marco sat up and looked at Jean pack his stuff. What Marco wouldn't give to exchange his place with him. When did he become overprotective like that ? He was the one saying Jean was the strongest around here. Marco decided to fully trust his lover (geez), and to take this time by himself to recover.

 

Once Jean finished packing his things, he turned around to Marco. "You don't have to come outside with me. You should stay in bed" he said and walked towards Marco. For a moment he sat down onto the bed and kissed Marco.

 

"But-" anyway Marco would walk outside with him and watch him go. No other way possible. And this kiss was so sweet it stung. Marco wanted to keep him here. He kissed back and then they separated.

 

"Stay in bed, it's better for you. See you soon" Jean said and caressed his cheek for a moment. He smiled at Marco and turned around, ready to leave and go onto this mission.

 

Jean walked past the door and Marco grabbed his oh handmade-by-his-lovely-boyfriend-who-was-leaving-for-a-dangerous-mission crutches. He quickly got outside too and everyone was already reunited there.

 

Jean went outside to the others. He was ready, it would be an easy thing. They were about to leave when Jean saw Marco going up to him fast. Too fast for his crutches, but luckily he didn't fall. "I told you to stay in bed!" Jean said and crossed his arms.

 

Marco came faster and planted himself in front of Jean. He then breathed in and kissed Jean one last time, hoping not everybody was watching. Laying his hand on Jean's cheek Marco pleaded "Be safe" and backed up a little.

 

Jean sighed and kissed Marco back. "I will. Stay with Jack a bit till my return" Jean said and smiled at Marco. He waved at him and then left with the little groups. This would be a hard journey...

 

God, now Jean was gone. Marco waved back at him and watched the group walk away. Actually Jack went to crash himself on Marco's leg which almost made the man fall. "Oh my god Jack watch where you're running" he said chuckling a bit. The boy was so agitate. He excused himself and went back to play with his friend. It was good to see the boy like that. Though Marco guessed at night the boy was crying in his sleep, thinking of his sister.

 

They found the group after half a day. It was not like they have been walking that much, but there were so many zombies out there. They found the group in the morning and waited for midday to execute the plan. Everything went good, they were able to save the little kids.  
But one was extremely dumb and decided to take supplies with him ! And... Now they were caught. But Jean already had a plan in mind.

 

Marco refused to return in the shack and stay alone worrying over Jean. So he sat on one of the bench around the fire and looked after the kids from afar.  
After a good hour alone, Clarisse joined, slowly, and sat next to him. For once Marco was glad to see her.

 

The enemies' group tried to find out where their group was. But everyone remained silent; well the two skilled guys couldn't talk anyway. But it was extremely difficult to get out of here, the group was larger than Jean thought it was.

 

Clarisse first sighed. And Marco too. So they chuckled tiredly together. "You're doing good ?" Marco asked her politely.

 

Jean sure would come up with a plan. Yes he would. He would return to Marco! ...  
Clarisse sat by Marco and chuckled. "Well I guess so. I'm glad Luna didn't have to go with them. The nurse should be the last one to get in danger. And well I don't want her to go out there. What about you?" she asked and smiled.

 

"You're right. Luna is safer here. I uhm I'll manage. I mean- Jean promised to be back soon" Marco replied looking at his feet.

 

Clarisse seemed to be thinking of something then said quite awkward "So err you two now are- you guys finally are a thing ?". Marco realized he was maybe too obvious, like, in so many ways. He replied slightly blushing "Well, actually, yes we a-are". Clarisse hugged him downright and squealed "Oh my god Marco I'm so happy for you two !". She backed up and added playing a serious tone with her voice "you really took your time ! Acting dumb and deaf ! So, tell me who confessed first ?" she then asked all excited. Marco chuckled embarrassed and summed up for her how it went. She was so excited hearing it and pressed Marco to tell her always more details.

 

The whole group was pretty much beaten up by now. The more they refused to say the more were they punched. It took them time but Jean came up with a plan and they executed it. Jean distracted them and the rest of the group - at least those who were alive and able to run - managed to flee. Jean had helped them fleeing and he would shoulder the consequences.

 

After talking for some time, the other persons who stayed here joined for dinner. They ate and Marco returned to the shacks. Jean still wasn't back. Marco tried to make himself a reason and went in the too large double bed alone.

 

Jean didn't know how long the people who could flee would take to get back to their little village. Probably not too long. He in the meantime still sat there, skin red and blue. But he would get out of here soon, that was for sure... He looked at his wrist. What was Marco probably doing at this moment?

 

Marco tossed around, trying to find a good position to sleep. But he couldn't. In the late night he heard the group coming back ! He quickly put his jacket on and flew outside (not exactly because of the crutches). He waited, looked around and waited. Everyone was returning to their shack one by one. They all looked like they had been rolled over by a truck. Marco grew scared and Jean wasn't showing up. He tried to think rationally but at this point it was hard. One of the guy was explaining to Margaret that things had turned bad. Marco came closer and listened carefully. He heard some died. "Jean ? Where's Jean ?! He's alive ?" Marco said. He wasn't stable anymore. Everyone was here, some died and Jean wasn't here. Jean was alive somewhere wasn't he ?? The guy Marco asked expressed fear. Marco wondered. He realized the guy was scared of Marco. Maybe his voice was harder than usual, more menacing as it used to be everyday when he was leading. He breathed deep and asked again in a more civilized way. "Do you know where is the guy who was leading ? Is he alive ?". The guy replied that Jean was still alive when they fled, he explained how Jean came up with this plan and that this one was still kept there.

 

The night went by and Jean still waited for the perfect opportunity to flee. It didn't come so fast though. God Jean didn't fear this group at all, the only thing he was fearing was that Marco could be overworried now, maybe thinking he was dead ! But Jean had said that Marco shouldn't underestimate him. Jean had to be patient and soon he would be with Marco again. He had known this group wasn't much suited for attacking other groups. There were pretty good fighters, but they all were more into helping groups.

 

Marco did his best to stay calm. He thanked the guy and first returned to the shack. When he realized that he was too agitate to stay inside, he returned outside around the fire and waited. He waited for so long. His body was hurting and after hours waiting outside his eye started to sting menacing to shed tears. Jean had promised to be careful... Marco wiped his eye and sniffed trying to think of rational ways that explained Jean was ok, Jean was safe. Of course he wasn't safe. He could get killed at this exact moment. Maybe he was already dead. Marco sniffed again. He was too tired to fight his emotions and decided to return in the bed. There, there was Jean's smell in the sheets. Marco curled up and waited.

 

It got morning and he still didn't have his chance to break out of there yet. The same routine went by, he got asked questions, Jean was too stubborn to answer them, he got punched. It turned afternoon, then evening. When would he get out of here? The others were already back for a day now. But it seemed like Jean got his chance because suddenly zombies were attacking them.

 

Marco started to grow sick worried. At some point his body was too tired and he felt unconscious for hours. At least being unconscious stopped him from torturing himself with dangerous thoughts. What if Jean was already dead and he would never get his corpse back ? No. No ! Jean was stronger than that. He was alive somewhere, certainly being kept as a prisoner.

 

The zombies attacked and lots of members of that group were already down. Jean managed to get a key from one of the dead bodies. He stood up, managed to get his things and flee. But right when he wanted to go out of the place he was being kept, he felt that he didn't have eaten anything and his body was hurting. He balanced from side to side and managed to finally get out of there. Good. Now he just had to find the way back home. All alone. In the dark. In the woods. But well it could be worse right ?

 

Marco woke up in the early morning, it was still dark outside. He went out wishing for fresh air to fill his lungs. He was exhausted and quickly had to sit. Everything was silent around. People were sleeping and the only sound was the wind blowing in the trees of the forest.

 

In the end Jean took the whole fucking night to find his way back somehow. And he could feel oh how could he feel he lacked water and food. He was slightly swooning but he already saw the little shacks. He finally found it. Jean sighed in relief and walked to the kind of entrance. Then, he couldn't do one more step and just fell to the ground unconsciously. Well at least he made it back.

 

Marco was slightly dozing off when he heard a sort of 'thud', something hitting the ground around there. It couldn't be a zombie so Marco went to see what it was. It was very dark and he had to come real close to notice it was a body. A body Marco knew too well. He hurried to kneel next to him. Jean was unconscious. "Jean- Jean wake up" Marco pleaded taking Jean against him.  
So Jean had made his way back alone after two days, in the dark.... Marco checked Jean's pulse. He was still ok but his pulse was weak, very weak. Marco cursed and winced but he carried Jean to Luna's shack. He knocked loudly on the door.

 

Jean didn't notice Marco finding him nor carrying him to Luna. He made it back, he had helped the others to flee and he was alive. So he did everything good. But well his body didn't have much energy left. But it wasn't dramatic. With a bit of food and water Jean would pretty much be on his legs in no time.

 

Luna took care of Jean and Marco fell asleep on the edge the bed she had laid Jean in. The freckled guy was too tired and relieved at the same time to fight sleep.

 

Jean probably took his time until the late afternoon before he woke up. And when he did, god his throat felt so dry. He remembered that he had walked all the way back to their camp... Like how did he manage to do that in the first place? Jean sat up slowly but whew his body was aching everywhere. He didn't have cuts or something that took long to heal luckily. He looked around and found Marco sleeping by his side. Now they changed roles again huh?

 

Marco woke up because his back was hurting much sleeping in this position. Jean was there. And he never imagined it would happened but Marco felt a tear rolling down his cheek. Just one but it was enough. He felt like living again. And god, it was only two days. Two awful days.

 

When Marco woke up and saw Jean, he shed a tear. Oh god Jean wanted to just cuddle him. He reached out and cupped Marco's cheek. "Hey I'm here now everything's fine" he said. His voice sounded dry too.

 

"I was so scared when you were the only one not coming back" Marco said and leaned in Jean's hand.

 

"I just took some more time, I helped them to flee after all... Uhm what happened after I reached the village? I can't remember" Jean said and looked at Marco, gently caressing his cheek.

 

"You fell unconscious and Luna took care of you" Marco replied. He took Jean's hand gently and squeezed it. "You're all covered in bruises" he said concerned and chuckling sadly "We're matching somehow".

 

"Ohh that explains it. Well I guess I just was dehydrated and all" Jean said. So he really collapsed? Well at least he did in the village and not somewhere in the woods... Jean chuckled. "Yeah now we're the ideal couple" Jean replied and chuckled too. "They tried to get information about our group. But well I didn't give it them that's why I look like this. And don't mind the group anymore, I could flee because of a zombie attack" he explained.

 

Marco smiled at him chuckling "the perfect couple uh ?". It was a strange way to describe them hehe. Jean informed him that they were safe now, the group got attacked. "Do you need anything ? Water ? Anything ?" Marco asked concerned.

 

"Water- water please" Jean said. His throat was so dry it kinda hurt to speak. Once he got it Jean drank it all and sighed in relief. "Ah, now I feel better. I should eat a bit and then we can go to our shack. I missed you" Jean said and got his hand back. He then showed Marco his wrist and grinned. "See? It's still there" he said.

 

Marco immediately gave water to Jean. Even though he had it hard each time he moved around. His body was so tired. Jean showed him the mark that was still here. Marco blushed a bit but he was so glad and relieved. "Did it help ?" he asked shyly.

 

"Yeah thanks. I want to go to the shack and just cuddle with you now" he said and kissed Marco's cheek.

 

Marco chuckled and stood up.  He was wobbling a bit. "We need to go eat something first" he said and helped Jean to get on his feet too.

 

"Can't we just grab something and then go to the shack?" Jean asked a bit grumpy. He stood on his feet pretty steadily but Marco still needed the crutches. "Do you feel better now ?" Jean asked and stood close to Marco. Okay he couldn't hold it and so he grabbed Marco and kissed him. He had missed that.

 

"Sure" Marco replied and started to step towards the door but Jean somehow blocked him softly. "I'll feel better after some rest. I can relax now that you're here" Marco replied searching for Jean's eyes as this one stood closer. Their lips met and Marco gave into the kiss instantaneously. It has been two horrible days, he repeated to himself, but now Jean was here and he could get a bit of him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give us a comment if you liked it ! (or didn't like it ??)


	27. Keep moving on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sweethearts !   
> School is sooo stressful... but I'm trying to keep updating as soon as I can !  
> Wishing you a good read, have a nice time ❤

    
Jean smiled at Marco and nodded. "Okay then, let's go" he said. They would get the chance later to cuddle some more now that they were reunited. Jean wanted to lay down, all his bruises were aching a bit.

 

It wasn't really dinner time already but both were tired. "You think you can cook something quick ?" Marco asked curious to Jean around the few supplies Margaret was usually using.

 

"Yeah sure" Jean said. He went to prepare something to eat. He was quick and soon they could fill their empty stomachs. With his plate in hand he went to their shack with Marco. "Eating in bed is always good" he said and grinned.

 

Marco was at ease now and Jean's doing was amusing. They returned to the shack and quickly covered themselves with the blanket. Laying on their bellies, they ate Jean's cooking and chatted a bit. "Clarisse knows about us, don't be surprised if she tells you about it" Marco informed him, grinning because yeah, he was happy to be here with Jean alive.

 

Once in bed Jean sighed in relief. He felt already better now. "So you told her? That's fine by me" he said and smiled. "Were you much worried about me?" Jean asked with a concerned look on his face.

 

"Well, she was the one asking" he explained still smiling. But then he sighed and nodded. "The fact that everyone was coming back, but you weren't... I didn't know what to think at all" he replied and moved even closer to Jean. Side to side they finished eating.

 

Jean sighed. "I'm sorry I made you worry. But I'm here now" Jean said and pulled Marco close to him once they finished eating.

 

"How could I not worry ? It's normal, you don't have to feel sorry. And I'm so glad you're safe now" Marco replied as he cuddled up with Jean.

 

Jean pulled Marco's face close and kissed him passionately. "I can understand it I'm always worried about you" he said.

 

Marco was acting so weak at the knees again. He felt too strained of energy to reply. Though he didn't want to say anything when Jean kissed him so passionate.

 

Jean backed up again and smiled at Marco. Then he hugged him. "I missed you. I wished you would have gone with me or I didn't have to go at all" he said and ran a hand over Marco's back.

 

"Me too" Marco said and hid in the crook of Jean's neck. How would he manage to live without Jean if this one wasn't there anymore ? Marco rested his hands on Jean's chest. His hand on Marco's back was doing good.

 

Jean blushed a bit and rubbed Marco's back gently when this one hid in the crook of his neck. Marco was so so precious. He breathed in and out calmly. He was 'home' now. "You can't imagine how fucking hard it was to find the way back in the dark" Jean murmured and laughed slightly, keeping Marco close to him.

 

Marco let out a small chuckle as a reply. Jean must have it hard, he really was bruised everywhere. And Marco wanted him to forget about any difficult things tonight. He started to place small kisses into Jean's neck.  
    
"I don't have the best sense of direction after all especially when it's hard to see" he added and chuckled. Jean blushed even more when Marco placed soft kisses onto the skin of his neck. It made him shiver a bit. Yeah, finally he was with Marco again.

 

Marco knew Jean didn't have the best sense of direction. Although Marco used to have the worst sense of direction before the apocalypse. He grinned and returned to kiss Jean. He moved around Jean's neck, ear, cheek and lips. Jean was awesomely soft and Marco loved to taste this.

 

Why did Marco's soft lips on his skin feel so good? Once Marco's lips were up to Jean's again, he kissed him back happily. His hands wandered slowly under Marco's shirt and on Marco's back, super carefully of course, because he could feel the bandages. But also Marco's warm skin.

 

Marco gasped a second when he felt Jean's hand over his bare skin. He felt good and honestly wanted more. Marco deepened the kiss and caressed carefully Jean's chest.

 

God how Jean would love to just run his hands all over Marco's skin, caressing it softly. But that was only possible when Marco's wounds have healed. So Jean let his hands stay there. Soon Jean started nibbling on Marco's bottom lip.  
 

Every touch was soft and prudent. Slowly they kissed and sucked and nibbled on each other's lips.

 

Jean felt just good now. He didn't feel the pain at all, he just felt... Well, Marco. It turned a bit hotter in the room and carefully like really carefully Jean sat a bit more onto Marco and pressed his tongue against Marco's lips. Finally he could spend time with his oh so sweet Marco.

 

Marco was tired which made him more passive than he'd be normally. He grabbed Jean by the waist and opened his mouth letting Jean's tongue go where it wanted to be.

 

Jean was okay with Marco being more passive. Jean liked to take the lead anyway. That matched with his  characteristics pretty good. Jean enjoyed the kiss and let his tongue discover Marco's mouth. But Jean could tell that Marco was somehow tired. He backed up the slightest. "You know if you want to go to sleep just tell me" he whispered in a calm voice.

 

Marco silently moaned in the kiss and then Jean backed up a little. "I don't want to ...but I think I need to" he replied quite sorry about it.

 

Jean smiled at Marco. "That's fine as long as I can sleep in your arms or you in mine" he said and grinned before he trailed a finger down Marco's face. He laid down next to him then. "I'm so so glad I'm with you again" he murmured and kissed Marco's shoulder.

 

Jean was all Marco needed. He smiled back and snuggled onto him before Marco fell asleep surprisingly fast.

 

Jean let Marco stay in his arms. This one fell asleep immediately. So he has been tired. He should have said it earlier. Jean closed his eyes and drifted to sleep slowly.

 

Marco woke up first. He had recovered quite well and felt better. Jean was sleeping in an unusual position, twisted on himself. Marco decided to stay here a moment. He turned Jean back to him and kept the sleeping guy in his arms. Marco caressed the top blond hair, kissing it from time to time. Jean was endearing and Marco took the opportunity to be able to do that freely.

 

Jean had his usual nightmare. But being happy of being reunited with Marco again he slept without waking up once. Some time after Marco woke up he opened his eyes himself too. He still wasn't completely awake so he looked around in a daze. He felt someone caressing his hair and he smiled because this one was Marco.

 

"Hello love" Marco murmured to Jean who didn't look so awake yet.

 

"Good morning" Jean replied. He wanted to wake up like this everyday. He was pretty much awake now and examined Marco's wounds. The neck wasn't looking that awful anymore but it sure had to hurt like so much... Jean's bruises didn't look much better especially his black eye. "Do you feel better today?" he asked.

 

"Yeah, a lot better" he replied smiling. Marco place his thumb slowly onto Jean's bruised skin under his eyes and felt it a bit. "This black eye will last at least a few days" Marco said and sighed. He leaned in and kissed Jean's lips quickly. "Well- I don't care about bruises as long as you are alive and safe and that they don't hurt" he finally declared.

 

"Good, I'm glad" Jean said and smiled. He flinched a bit in surprise when Marco touched under his eye carefully. "This isn't the first time I got bruises don't worry some days and I'll be as handsome as ever" he said and winked at Marco.

 

Marco blushed and chuckled. "Looking like that you're badass and handsome y'know ?" Marco said pointing his tongue out childishly.

 

Jean chuckled and ruffled Marco's hair. "Yeah yeah whatever" he said. "I wonder if everbody knows by now that I'm back. Did you tell the others?" Jean asked looking up.

 

Marco giggled happily as Jean messed with his hair. Oh god it has been years since the last time Marco sounded like that.   
"Huh ? No- I found you in the night and you, well we, slept all day afterwards and dinner we didn't see much people around so no" he replied explaining a bit how things had developed.

 

Marco giggling was soooo precious. Now Marco acted like a Marco. Jean nodded when Marco started explaining things. "Well I guess it'll be a surprise then. But please let's stay a bit more in bed" he said.

 

"Ok" Marco replied amused by Jean and buried himself with Jean under the blankets. He curled a leg around one of Jean's leg and let out a satisfied sigh.

 

Jean smiled satisfied that Marco went with his suggestion. Under the blankets Marco twisted their legs together. Jean decided to slide his hands under Marco's shirt again. "How can you always be so warm?" he asked.

 

Marco did the same on his part and now they were entangled together, like lovers do. "Then how is it that your skin's so soft ?" he asked in return. As if Jean was one to talk. He may be thin, he was yet so soft and warm !

 

Jean blushed a bit. "How should I know" he said and chuckled. "But please- try not to press too hard, I got kicked in the back after all" he explained. Jean in the mean time ran his hands all the way down Marco's back and stayed there then.

 

"Oh sorry did I hurt you just now ?" Marco asked worried.

 

"No, no it's fine you didn't, I'm just super sensitive there now, just like you with your neck. Don't worry" he said and kissed Marco's nose quickly as he started drawing circles on Marco's back. He could feel the scar.

 

"Okay" Marco replied. They were good here, it was nice and warm. Then someone knocked on the door, calling for breakfast.

 

They got interrupted when someone knocked the door. Jean sighed and let go of Marco before he stood up.

 

Marco ran a hand in his hair to brush them back a bit and went to Jean's side. Marco was acting like a magnet to Jean now.

 

Jean looked at Marco as this one stood up. Geez... He should watch himself and his body. Jean opened the door and a pretty surprised Clarisse hugged him.

 

Oh, it was Clarisse. Marco was glad to see her. Somehow now that they had fought side to side against death and that she knew about Jean and him and such, she seemed more appreciable. Marco didn't feel as jealous as the first time she had hugged his Jean.

 

The girl backed up again and quickly told them breakfast would be ready soon before she stormed off again. She probably wanted to tell everyone that Jean was back.

 

Marco chuckled as he saw Jean's grumpy reaction after the hyperactive girl stormed off. "She is extremely happy to see you" Marco stated as he came closer to Jean.

 

"Yeah I can see that" he replied and sighed silently. He just wanted to stay in bed and cuddle with Marco. Was it that hard to get??

 

"What do you want to do ?" Marco asked. He already had a bit of an idea though.

 

"I don't know but I don't wanna go eat breakfast yet" Jean replied and stretched a bit. "What about you?" he asked back.

 

"I'm hungry" Marco said chuckling. He found his seriousness again and said "At least Margaret and the boys will be happy to see you alive". Of course they would be glad. Marco asked himself again, what if Jean was taken away from Marco's life ? Marco wouldn't be able to bear it.

 

"Okay then let's go eat" Jean said and smiled. They went to eat breakfast and geez Jean was hugged by everyone. Both Marco and Jean spend some more days here in the end until Marco had recovered completely.

 

After some days Marco was fully better, the cut on his throat had scarred and they could hit the road again. Which meant leaving Clarisse, Luna, Margaret, and the boys...  
"So you guys will be leaving now ?" Clarisse asked for the third time with a sad face. Jean affirmed again. Marco heard a whimper behind him. Jack was there, the little boy wasn't aware of Jean and Marco's depart yet. The boy ran to hide in the shack he was sleeping in. Marco sighed and went to explain things to the kid.

 

They had decided to leave in the end. Jean really wanted to go on and they had stayed here for a long time so it was time to move on. Everyone could understand it but it was sure that with Jack it would be difficult. But Marco went after him luckily. Jean talked a bit more with Clarisse. Mostly her weird imagination of 'Jean's love life'.

 

Marco knocked at the door. "Go back !" he heard from inside. Marco sighed again. The boy was already crying. Marco tried to turn the doorknob. Pfff, Jack didn't even close the door properly... Marco entered and Jack jumped on him. He started to punch him with his 10yo boy strength, significantly not much, and finally hugged the freckled man with way more strength. "It's okay, it's okay" Marco repeated to the child so that he would calm down. But it wasn't so easy, Marco knew that and here came what hurt the most. "You're leaving me behind ! You're abandoning me ! Just like Jeanne ! I'll be all alone this time" Jack cried.

 

Jean went back to their shack and packed all the things needed, waiting for Marco's return. He had to admit, he would miss this bed with the blankets. Especially now that Marco was better again it would have been so comfortable to make out on this bed... Jean turned slightly red.

 

Marco had a hard time calming Jack. What the boy said was painful to hear but Jack couldn't fully understand either, he was just ten. "We will not forget about you and Jeanne" Marco promised. He had to go, Jean was certainly waiting for him. "I l-l-love you Marco" Jack stuttered crying. It was inevitable that Jack reacted like this after he grew so attached to the freckled man. They exchanged a few promises more and Marco went out to join Jean. Marco refused to promise that they would see the boy again. Things like that couldn't be promised.

 

Jean talked a bit with Clarisse and managed to get at least a blanket with them and camping mattresses so they wouldn't have to sleep on the hard ground then. Jean sat on the bed and waited for Marco to come. He probably had have a hard time with the boy...

 

Marco entered the shack to see Jean sitting on the mattress. He looked around. Everything seemed ready. Did Jean do all that ?

 

Jean looked up when Marco entered the shack. "How did it go?" Jean asked and stood up, walking over to Marco. "We have to leave soon but I don't have to tell you this" Jean said and let out a little chuckle.

 

"Well... He cried an whole ocean. But it's alright. He made me promise I would keep this till I die" Marco explained chuckling as he showed Jean a small wooden figurine that had a smiling face on it. Marco smirked a bit at Jean and asked "What about a little cuddle session in our favorite double bed before we go ?".

 

Jean sighed slightly. He didn't expect anything else from the litte boy. And they couldn't stay here forever, that was not the plan Jean followed. He sat down onto the bed again and looked up immediately by Marco's words. He smirked as well. "I'm in for that but just a little, we really should go soon" Jean said and nodded.

 

Marco nodded and walked towards the bed. He gently pinned Jean down on the mattress and kissed him hungrily.

 

Jean grinned and pulled Marco down to him. Now that Marco felt better and had recovered, Jean could do more to him he wanted to do in the first place without fearing he could hurt him. That was after all the last thing he wanted to do. Jean knew exactly what he would do now. He sat up a bit and reached for Marco's neck. He left the scar out but the rest of Marco's neck got kissed. Now it was finally his time to mark his boyfriend.

 

Marco shivered and let out a groan when Jean kissed his neck. This part of his body was logically more sensitive than usual around the scar.

 

Jean grinned against Marco's neck when he reacted like that. Jean was careful not to brush over the scar and bit down softly on one spot. They still were not doing anything else than a bit of touching and lots, lots of kissing but well first they had time (okay they could die everyday but well) and second with both of them injured making out was not the easiest thing to do.

 

Wow Marco didn't have felt this way previously in his life. Jean sucked a bit harder and licked the reddening mark. "Oh my god, Jean" Marco murmured closing his eye. How would it be when they would make out properly ? They were both surprisingly sensitive under each other's hands.

 

Jean couldn't stop grinning. He was happy he could make Marco feel good. He earned it. "What is it?" Jean murmured before he continued with what he was doing. His hands started travelling over Marco's back which was finally free from all those bandages. Jean could feel the scars Marco had pretty clear. But well Jean had them too. It still was the apocalypse. Even though he never dreamt of doing this here, kissing Marco and such things.

 

"'t feels too good" Marco murmured again chuckling a bit. He leaned closer on Jean's chest with the imperceptible pressure Jean's hands were applying on Marco's back. Marco didn't feel the slightest pain, it was all joy or pleasure.

 

"That's a good thing" Jean said and backed up once he had finished. "Now everyone can see you're mine" he said and smiled proudly before he leaned in again to kiss Marco passionately.

 

Marco snorted childishly at that. He grinned back and joked "You're the only one who has to know I'm yours". Jean kissed him again. Marco kissed back, sliding his tongue smoothly between Jean's lips.

 

Marco's snorting was like so adorable. Jean was grinning. He parted his lips gladly and once he felt Marco's tongue, he brushed his against it and moaned slightly into the kiss. Good that they took the opportunity to use the bed a last time, even if it would be for short time because they had decided to go and well couldn't stay that much longer.

 

Marco mounted on Jean's laps, trying to lighting his weight and kissed Jean more 'wildly'. It was their last time having a comfy bed like this, should enjoy it at its (possible) fullest.

 

Once Marco had sat onto him, Jean dared and slowly moved his hands down Marco's back and onto his butt, to pull him a bit closer. He could feel he was heating up a bit. Jean kissed Marco back with all his love. He couldn't be happier with having Marco so close to him. That's all he ever wanted after all.

Marco moaned without complex when Jean somehow cupped his butt. It was all sort of sensations Marco never knew before. It was exciting, but still they had to go soon.

 

Jean tried to give it a little squeeze. He didn't break the kiss but they shouldn't grow too much into it. Jean sure was turned on already, but it still was fine. But Marco moaning was already too much! Especially because Marco's moan in reality was even better than in Jean's dreams he had lots of before.

 

Marco pressed himself a bit more on Jean. Being so close to each other was great. He parted a bit from Jean's lips and switched to his boyfriend neck. He kissed it softly and sighed. "We have to go" Marco said letting his head in the crook of Jean's neck.

 

Jean shivered and moaned slightly. He couldn't believe he could be so close to Marco now. Jean closed his eyes enjoying Marco's lips against his neck. He sighed though when Marco spoke out what was right. "I know" he said.

 

Jean moaning was making Marco feel dizzy. He sighed again and stayed here a minute more.

 

Jean looked at Marco for a moment and kissed him once again, leaning more in again. For their 'last kiss' Jean pulled Marco once again close before he slowly let go. He sighed. He was so in the mood to make out but they really had to go now. So better going now than getting turned on too much. "We should leave now" Jean murmured.

 

Marco kissed back with love and they parted. "Yeah" he replied and sat up. Marco smiled at Jean and quickly kissed his lips a last time. He stood up, free from crutches now and accepted Jean's hand to help him stand up.

 

Jean really didn't want to stand up. Why couldn't he just rip Marco's clothes apart, kiss him and start a serious making out session. Jean stood up with Marco and grabbed his things. "We finally go, huh?" Jean said and opened the door.

 

Marco nodded. It was finally time. They went outside to say a last goodbye to everyone. Jack was crying again.


	28. Mmh making out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo again I'm so sorry for posting so late ! I wish I had more time to proofread and post. You who will read this chapter, have fun :)

    
They went outside and said their last good byes to everyone. And then they left. It was weird to finally walk on again and not returning the night into a shack. And in a bed.

 

They had to be careful now, zombies could come from anywhere. Marco after a few minutes slid an arm on Jean's back. He had the opportunity to do so, then why not ?

 

It really was strange to travel around again. But by now they were not in the mountains so it wasn't cold. Jean blushed a bit when Marco slid an arm on his back. But he liked it.

 

Jean blushed a bit and Marco found it cute. This guy has been rolling his tongue actively in Marco's mouth just before and now he was blushing because of this almost innocent contact. They had to enter the woods again. It was early in the morning when they left the small village but the hours flew by fast while walking.

 

It didn't matter if the contact or the kiss they shared was innocent or passionate, Jean would blush either way because it was just... Well he was with Marco and everything Marco did with him and to him was just wonderful and pleasurable. They entered the woods and walked more careful now.

 

"Zombie here" Marco pointed because the thing was on Jean's side, a few meters away. For the rest it was calm. At least they didn't encounter another group.

 

Jean quickly shot the zombie down silently with the bow. They continued walking and decided to make a break in the afternoon. "Want to eat something?" Jean asked.

 

"Let's forget about meat, we don't have time to make a fire, but yes I'd like to" Marco replied as he sat down close to Jean. Now this habit didn't seem strange anymore. Marco was just sitting close to his lover (this was amazing !).

 

"Luckily Margaret made us something" Jean said and packed out the little 'meal' they had. He gave Marco one half. "So, now we're on the road again huh" he said and chuckled. "I have to say I kinda miss our shack already. It was so comfy and luxury there" he added.

 

"You're so right" Marco replied chuckling after he took his share. It was yummy as always.

 

Jean decided to tell Marco now. "But you know Margaret allowed me to take the camping mattresses and a blanket with me. So that's something at least when we're staying in a cave" he said and smiled.

 

"Seriously ? That's so nice of her !" Marco replied grinning. His back would be better on a mattress and... It was better to cuddle.

 

"Well she does care about everyone after all. We just recovered so sleeping on the hard ground isn't the best thing to do after all" he said. And yeah, they could cuddle more comfortable too.

 

Marco leaned in and kissed Jean's cheek quickly. "Anyway let's keep going. We have to find a shelter for tonight" he said and got on his feet.

 

Jean smiled. "Yeah let's go. We have enough time to find something good" Jean said and stood up again. And so they walked for some more hours, the sky already turning red and orange.

 

The winter sunset was beautiful and they had the chance to get out of the woods before the night fell.

 

They needed to find a shelter now once they were out of the woods. "Say when you see a good shelter" Jean said as they continued walking.

 

"No problem" Marco replied as he started to look around. For a moment there wasn't anything around. Then a small hill had a hidden cave that Marco spotted.

 

Jean didn't seem to find anything so he was even more glad when Marco spotted a cave, pretty good hidden. They decided to go there. Inside there was surprisingly much place.

 

"It's not bad" Marco commented happily as they walked inside. They would sleep well in here. Outside it was dark already.

 

"I'll make a fire you can place the mattresses and everything" Jean said and handed Marco the things needed.

 

Marco placed everything, putting voluntarily the camping mattresses side by side. They had a blanket. Marco returned to Jean's side as this one finished with the food.

 

Jean chuckled and grinned when Marco obviously placed the mattresses side to side. Jean had made a fire by now and the food was already cooking. "It will take some time. But at least we have a shelter now" he said and leaned back a bit.

 

"Mmh, that's a good thing" Marco agreed. And it kept the warmth of the fire inside the shelter.

 

Jean scooted close to Marco and rested his head against Marco's shoulder. The atmosphere was calm and quiet, it felt pretty good. And Jean could be with his Marco, that was the best.

 

Marco smiled and slid his arm around Jean's waist again. It was almost peaceful, alone but together.

 

Jean snuggled against Marco and smiled a bit. It was good that it was peaceful now. Jean took Marco's hand and kissed it.

 

"Such a romantic, Jean" Marco whispered chuckling.

 

"Geez don't say that" Jean said and blushed and looked away. "I'm just happy to be with you" he said.

 

"I'm happy too" Marco said happily and turned to kiss Jean gently on top of his head.

 

Jean closed his eyes and smiled when Marco kissed his head. "Do you feel sorry for leaving Jack behind?" Jean asked out of the blue and backed up a bit so he could get the food off the fire.

 

Marco was a bit unsettled by Jean's question. He had to think a second to reply correctly. "He's a good child, he deserves a chance to live and have a 'family'. He'll surely be better with the girls than with us at this point.... Well, I don't know, we could have protected him but to stand as a family for him..." Marco replied. He wasn't so sure. Of course it was possible to have kept the kid by their side and make him travel with them but Marco felt that he would still be better with Nico, Clarisse, Luna and Margaret.

 

"I know what you mean. I think it's better he is with them, with Margaret and a kid his age. Just wanted to ask" he said and looked at Marco. He didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

 

"It's alright. Maybe... Maybe one day we'll meet him again" Marco said chuckling lightly. Who knows ? Marco just hoped the group they lived with for a few days would survive till the end of the apocalypse.

 

"I'm pretty sure. We always can return to the group when we want to. One day we'll see him again, I'm sure" Jean said and smiled. Well, they could always die but Jean was sure they would made it.

 

"You're very confident about it" Marco replied though he turned his mood towards something else. He reached for Jean's nape and kissed it a few times in a row. This sweet skin was the best way to start a meal.

 

"The group is good. The two guys are perfect killers, Luna can treat everyone's wounds and you don't want to come near Clarisse's knives. They won't die so easily" Jean explained to Marco. He blushed suddenly when Marco started kissing his nape. Marco's lips were so soft...

 

Marco chuckled again. He backed up a bit. "You did a pretty good description, uh. How do you explain we won't die then ?" Marco asked curious with a smirk.

 

Jean thought about it a bit and leaned against Marco again. "We just won't. It's that simple" he answered Marco's question and nodded.

 

Marco arched up his eyebrows, amused. "Well, that's a win for Jean Kirstein" Marco said, his lips melting into a loving smile.

 

Jean grinned confidently. "And no way I'll die when we're finally together" he added and kissed Marco's cheek.

 

"I already said I won't allow you" Marco whispered and kissed Jean's cheek in return. It turned into a battle of little kisses crashing over each other's face then they had to eat before the food started to burn on the fire.

 

"And that's still pretty selfish of you" Jean replied and chuckled when Marco's kissed his cheek in return. Jean quickly handed Marco one plate of the food before it would burn.

 

Marco started to eat eagerly. "Mmh I missed your food" he told Jean between two bites.

 

"Hey it's not like I didn't help back there" Jean replied and chuckled. He finished quickly and sat down onto his camping mattress. "Bless Margaret for giving us those" he said.

 

"That's because this way I have the feeling that you're making it just for me" Marco replied blushing lightly. He finished quickly to join Jean on the camping mattress. Of course it was better than the ground itself !

 

Jean chuckled again and grinned at Marco. "Maybe I do" he replied and winked at his boyfriend.

 

Marco chuckled as well and then relaxed against Jean's side. Margaret was so nice to have given them these mattresses. 

 

Once Marco laid next to him Jean decided to roll onto Marco. There he just laid and looked at the freckled guy, smiling at him.

 

Marco gladly welcomed Jean on top of him and hugged him around the waist again. Their heights were just right for Marco to place his hands here, standing or laid. And that smile...

 

Jean placed a quick kiss on Marco's lips and whispered a quick "love you~" before he rested his head onto Marco's chest, snuggling against it.

 

Marco's heart started to beat faster. Teenage reflex he thought. "Love you too" he replied softly and started to rub large circles on Jean's back before he slowly slid his hands under Jean's shirt.

 

Jean smiled calmly and rested like this on Marco. He blushed though when he felt a hand sliding under his shirt. But he didn't say anything against it.

 

Marco was on for a bit more than kisses now that they were alone (and in the cave that was kind of comfy). But he didn't want to rush Jean into anything.

 

Jean looked up and then looked at Marco. "What are you thinking of ?" he asked curious. Marco looked like a bit lost in thoughts.

 

Marco smiled gently and replied honestly. "I was wondering if I could... do that-" he said caressing Jean's whole back. "Or something like that" he added and prudently slid two fingers under the belt of Jean's jeans, obviously reaching for his butt.

 

Jean let Marco do what he wanted to do but as soon as he felt Marco's fingers slowly sliding into his pants, he blushed immediately. "Y-Yeah that's fine" he said his heart beating pretty fast.

 

Marco nodded and lift a hand up to cup Jean's cheek. The freckled man kissed his boyfriend gentler than ever and at the same time placed his hand fully over Jean's ass. It was amazing to the touch, hard because of muscles and soft because of the skin, so soft that Marco felt it through the last piece of fabric. It was really really good.

 

Jean wanted to sigh in the kiss because it felt soooo good. And Marco's hand over his ass heated him up so he didn't freeze at all. Jean decided to break the kiss and kissed his way down to Marco's neck. He knew by now that Marco was sensitive there and grinned.

 

"Mmh Jean" Marco murmured satisfied as this one started to go over Marco's neck. Marco could feel Jean grinning against his skin.

 

Jean smiled for a moment, glad that Marco felt good. Jean did too. He started kissing around his neck pretty soft for the moment and left out the scar which was like so visible.

 

Marco, enjoying Jean's kissing, joined his two hands over Jean's ass and squeezed it super tenderly.

 

Jean blushed even more now and moaned slightly because he got turned on immediately by Marco's doings. Not because Marco squeezed his butt in general, it was the way he did it. Tenderly, gentle and... full of love. Jean was kinda happy that Marco really loved him as much as Jean did. He started biting down on the freckled skin and sucking gently.

 

Marco let out a mix of a chuckle and a groan when Jean sucked on his skin again. It was amazing the way they were taking their time.   
Before the apocalypse, as people around him started to speak about their sexual life and such, Marco didn't have anything to say and over time got kind of disgusted of their bed stories when love was never mentioned. Marco dreamt a lot of times of his 'night with Jean'. He was finding it a bit ridiculous now how he imagined it before on a bed covered in roses petals and such. Yeah, Marco was a strangely romantic fellow by nature. It just totally disappeared when the apocalypse hit him and now with Jean laying on him, Marco was slowly recovering.

 

Jean had quickly placed a second hickey by now. But that didn't stop him from pleasuring Marco's neck, so he continued kissing every inch of his skin - except for the scar of course. Jean still couldn't believe he was sort of making out with his long time crush. He didn't regret it either. But with more than making out Jean wanted to wait. It shouldn't happen in a cave or in some other natural shelter. Jean wanted a comfy bed for him and his Marco if they made a step further.

 

Marco was smiling more and more because Jean was really pleasuring him with simple kisses. Both hands well placed, he started to move Jean at a low pace over himself.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows in surprise when Marco started moving him over his body. That turned Jean on even more, especially because Marco moved Jean's lower parts exactly over Marco's and Jean could feel that. Nevertheless he continued kissing Marco's neck but soon he kissed his way down to the collarbone. He would love to take Marco's shirt off but for that it was too cold, even with a fire. So he placed his hands on Marco's chest and kissed the non clothed skin.

 

Marco groaned silently because of Jean's kisses added to the friction. It made his eyebrows furrow, all these lays of clothes were bothering him.

 

Jean noticed Marco furrowing his eyebrows - a rare sight - and he backed up a bit. "Is something wrong?" he asked and looked at Marco. He didn't brush over Marco's scar, did he?

 

"Wait a minute" Marco hushed as he let go of Jean and quickly reached for their jackets to put it on top of the blanket that he carefully displayed on Jean's shoulders who was sitting now. Marco laid back and made Jean lay on top of him the same way as a minute ago, but with a warmer cocoon around them.

 

Now Jean was furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. What was Marco doing? He grabbed for their jackets and placed them on Jean's shoulders. Did he think Jean was freezing? "Uhm okay" he replied still confused. Well it was a bit warmer now which was good in general but the cold didn't have bothered him that much because his front side got all the warmth Marco was sending out.  
    
Marco let out the slightest smirk at the sight of Jean's confusion. The freckled man reached for the hem of his own shirt and swiftly took it off. "Isn't that what you wanted?" he asked amused but turned on too.

 

Jean tilted his head. He still didn't understand. Just as Marco started to take his shirt off Jean understood quickly and blushed furiously at the sight of Marco's bare freckled chest. He was so beautiful. "What I wanted? Can you read minds or what?" Jean let out because he didn't say out loud he wanted Marco shirtless... But damn Marco was hot. Jean placed his hands on Marco's chest again and let them discover his upper body gently and carefully. Like Jean Marco had some scars here and there.

 

Marco chuckled at Jean's cute and confused reaction. Obviously Marco didn't read minds. But if he was honest, he has been curious and craving Jean's touch over his whole upper body. Jean touched his skin carefully, quite losing his eyes over it and Marco tried to keep calm inside but yeah his heart was already beating so fast again.

 

It was not like Jean never saw Marco shirtless before but now it was something different because he could actually touch his bare chest. With a hand he ran over the form of Marco's abs. It was strange to see his before so shy and cute best friend with a body like that. But muscles were necessary to survive. Not that Jean didn't like Marco's past body. It was just a bit more bouncier and man Jean had loved that.

 

Marco closed his eye and hummed feeling Jean's hands discover his body. His heart was still pounding real fast but he could manage to get used to this.

 

Marco seemed comfortable and at ease with this, good. Jean leaned down a bit and continued kissing at the spot of Marco's collarbone before he slowly kissed his way down and kissed Marco all over his chest, placing light kisses first here and there.

 

Marco's mind didn't stay clear very longer, he felt a bit dizzy with Jean's lips covering his chest. While Jean was concentrated on Marco's chest, Marco placed his hands back on Jean's back. After a little while, he got Jean's shirt off as well.

 

Jean blushed again when Marco took off Jean's shirt as well. It felt a bit colder now but for now Jean was okay. He laid down a bit more to feel Marco's skin on his. At this point he already could tell that he got turned on much enough to feel something was slowly moving down there. Jean decided to mark Marco with love bites around his chest and kissed and sucked the skin like he did with the neck.

 

Marco breathed out and groaned a bit each time Jean let a new mark on his body. And it was the first time that they laid down topless together, it was quite a thing.

 

"Feelin' good here ?" Jean asked as he backed up to oversee his work. Lovebites were appearing here and there as little red dots on Marco's freckled chest. He laid back on top of Marco, feeling the warmth.

 

"Who wouldn't feel good being in my place ? Yes. You make me feel super good" Marco said his eye still shut and enjoying the contact of their skins.

 

Jean started smiling brightly and looked down. He was making Marco feel good, he was making Marco happy. That was an incredible feeling. "I love you" Jean said before he connected lips with Marco after a waaay too long time.

 

Marco had a short heart attack because Jean was fucking shining and maybe because of Marco's words and... Wow. Jean leaned down and their lips met again. Marco kissed back with all his love and after a moment he toppled Jean and kissed him from over there, sitting carefully on Jean's hips.

 

They kissed for some time and soon they changed placed and Marco sat onto Jean's hips. Jean wrapped his arms around Marco's muscled and naked back so he could pull Marco down to him.

 

It was pitch black now outside and since it was winter, the night created a peaceful silence around them. Marco noticed that and paused in their kissing to get closer to Jean's ear. He kissed it once, twice, nibbled on Jean's earlobe. Marco started to move his hips over Jean's slowly, making it long and pleasurable. "I love you...I love you Jean.." he murmured to his lover, repeated these same words in loops but always meant them.

 

Jean blushed when Marco started kissing and nibbling on his ear. Jean couldn't to anything else but to let out a small moan in pleasure. As Marco started to move his hips then Jean held his breath because now he got turned on even more, it was pretty dangerous by now. But Marco saying those words was fucking amazing. "I love you too" Jean replied and placed a hand over Marco's cheek.

 

"Hey, breath" Marco reminded him with a small chuckle. The atmosphere was so sweet, they were all alone in their own world. Marco leaned down again to capture those lips that were begging to meet his.

 

Jean chuckled and let out his air again. Jean kissed Marco back gladly and ran his hands over Marco's back. This half soft half rough skin. Jean sure was enjoying this evening. From the nights they spent in little shelters this was the best so far.

 

Jean was adorable Marco told himself for the hundredth time at least. In return to Jean's hands on his back, Marco placed his hand over Jean's bare chest and took his time to explore it too.

 

Jean blushed and grinned at Marco as this one started to explore his upper body a bit. Jean in the meantime caressed Marco's back and just enjoyed that beautiful face. In his face Marco still had that kind of bounciness. Jean wanted to poke those cheeks.

 

The more Marco caressed Jean's chest, the more he desired to lay on it and kiss it. So he just did it. But it was already late and they had to walk tomorrow as much as today. "It's late... Wanna continue ? Or we can start again tomorrow ? In the morning ?" Marco asked chuckling at the last one. He continued to kiss Jean's chest though.

 

"I don't mind. As long as we don't get too much into it and forget about time it should be alright" Jean replied. He didn't want Marco to stop kissing him it felt just too good.

 

"Alright dear" Marco murmured and dangerously went to tease one of Jean's nipple. Marco heard somewhere that this particular spot could give a lot of pleasure if it was well trained. He wanted to try it.

 

It was strange to be called 'dear'. But Jean didn't dislike it... He gulped slightly and blushed again like he could read Marco's mind. Everybody was sensitive there and Jean knew he shouldn't get turned on too much. But he didn't want to stop Marco either.

 

Since Jean didn't seem to feel uncomfortable, Marco started by kissing the small pink thing. He kissed it many times before he closed his lips around it and sucked on a bit.

 

Jean gasped before he opened his mouth, immediately escaping a moan. Fuck that was way too much pleasure right now. Jean closed his eyes and just enjoyed the feeling. He was probably as red as a tomato now because of the pleasure.

 

Marco expected a reaction, yeah, but Jean's actual reaction sure made his pants feel tighter. He winced at the fleeting sensation and sucked more gently on the pink part, starting to rub the other one with his fingertip. After a moment of adaptation Marco tried nibbling on it prudently.

 

Jean shivered. If he wasn't already turned on enough, he was pretty sure by now. Why did that feel so fucking good? Jean didn't understand. Another moan escaped his throat obviously he was enjoying this.

 

Before it was too much for the two of them, Marco backed up supporting himself with his arms on both sides of Jean. "You're too good. I could eat a bit of you everyday" Marco said on the verge of panting because pleasure was there inside of him.

 

Jean blushed furiously again. God why was Marco saying that. "Same goes for you" Jean replied with a smirk though. Jean had enjoyed this and wanted to do the same to Marco but it really was late and Jean didn't want to know how embarrassing it could be if he was turned on to the point of no return or something like that. "I love you" Jean said once again. He never dreamed of saying this to Marco multiple times.

 

Marco's lips formed a smile, freckled dimples showing. "I love you" he said back and took their shirts to put them on again. It would be bad to wake up with a cold because they would have slept topless. All done, Marco laid down fully on Jean's side.

 

Jean put his shirt on again and as soon as Marco laid down next to him, Jean snuggled against him. Right now Marco was so warm.

 

"You're so cute when you do that" Marco thought out loud as Jean snuggled against him.

 

"I'm not!" Jean protested and furrowed his eyebrows slightly. Being called cute was so unmanly, god. Calling Marco cute was a different thing though. Jean wrapped his arms around him. Pah, cute. Jean was just kinda needy, he was next to his lover after all.

 

Marco blushed when he realized he said that out loud. "Oh uhm ! Err... Well, no I don't have anything to say, I definitely find you cute" Marco tried to explained but failed and ended up kissing Jean's forehead to be pardoned.

 

Jean pouted a bit. Somehow he got something against the word 'cute' if it was used on him. "You can be lucky you're so adorable otherwise I'd be mad at you now" Jean said when Marco kissed his forehead.

 

"Oh yeah, I'm the luckiest man on the earth" Marco replied placing a lot more kisses all over Jean's face.

 

Jean snickered and closed his eyes. He let Marco kiss him all over his face. He smiled. With Marco by his side, the apocalypse was way more okay.

 

"Good night Jean" Marco murmured to him before falling asleep. He closed his arms around the other boy and hugged him with love.

 

"Good night love" Jean replied and let his eyes close. Like this he doze off quickly. He got his nightmares again and because they were in a shelter again. Jean woke up because of it with a scream, sweating much.

 

Marco starting to sleep quite peacefully, which was recurring now all thanks to Jean by his side. But this one woke up suddenly and the scream awoke Marco too. Jean was not in a peaceful state at all. Marco sat and hugged his boyfriend tight, with Jean's head over his shoulder and his hand caressing his lover's head to soothe him.

 

Jean sighed and hugged Marco back. "I'm sorry that I woke you up" Jean apologized and soon tried to calm down again.

 

"Hey Jean, seriously don't mind that. I'm sorry that you still have nightmares" Marco replied kissing Jean's head sweetly.

 

Jean pressed his lips together and sighed again. He didn't want to have the nightmares at all. Jean hugged Marco a bit tighter.

 

Marco tightened his arms around Jean too. He knew how invading the nightmares could be. "It's okay Jean, it's okay" he whispered calmly.

 

It took Jean time, but in Marco's arms he calmed down again. He laid down with Marco again. "I'm still sorry I woke you up..." Jean said looking at Marco.

 

Marco smiled gently at Jean and pressed him closer against his chest. "It's okay. Most of the nights I spent alone before were shorter than now. Don't hesitate to wake me up if you ever need me, ok ?" Marco said looking back at Jean.

 

Jean nodded slowly. "Okay, I will" he replied. He snuggled the closest possible to Marco's side and closed his eyes again, furrowing his eyebrows. Hopefully he wouldn't wake up again.

 

Marco continued to caressed Jean's hair a moment and fell asleep keeping Jean close to his chest.

 

Jean calmed down even more when Marco caressed his hair. Soon he fell asleep and slept until morning without waking up once.

 

Marco woke up when the sun lightened the inside of the cave. Jean was squeezing him around the chest, snuggled on Marco. Marco smiled up and quickly kissed Jean's hair.

 

Jean decided to sleep in a bit. There weren't in a rush anyway so he slept peacefully when Marco was already awake.

 

Marco couldn't bring himself to get away from Jean's arms and stayed still. A little hour passed with the two of them laying down here. These camping mattresses were wonderful, way better than the ground.

 

After some time then Jean finally woke up. He opened his eyes slowly and stretched a bit. He still was in Marco's arms, huh? "Mornin" Jean murmured and yawned.

 

Marco looked down at Jean who was waking up. "G'morning" he replied with a huge smile. Jean seemed to have slept in the end, Marco was glad.

 

Jean looked up at Marco who wore a big big smile. It was beautiful. "Did you sleep well?" Jean asked and sat up a bit, running a hand through his hair.

 

Marco nodded smiling. "Can we prepare breakfast ? We should go early since it's sunny today" he said glancing outside.

 

"Uhm yeah sure" Jean replied and stood up to prepare something for breakfast.

 

Marco wrapped up the blanket and their stuffs together and went to sit behind Jean. He placed himself against Jean's back, resting his head on Jean's shoulder.  
    
While Jean was making them something for breakfast, Marco decided to lean against Jean's back. He chuckled slightly and smiled. "Okay, breakfast's ready I think" he said.

 

"Mmh, you're the best" Marco said softly and moved to the side to take his share.

 

"I know" Jean replied and laughed. "Kidding. But thanks" he said before he gave half of the breakfast to Marco. Somehow it was like ever but somehow it was different because they were lovers now. Still weird to think but sooo good.

 

Marco snorted a bit. "Such a humble man" he said and kissed Jean lightly.

 

Jean chuckled again and started eating. Well it was not that much of a breakfast like they were used to in the little village, but it was enough to give them energy so they could go on.

 

They finished and set out so they could reach a small city in normally two days. That was the plan. Zombies were more frequent on the road now but Jean and Marco risked nothing against the low number of them.

 

They hit the road again and headed towards a pretty small city. That was just one of many stops before they would reach the big one. But they were working good in a team so it didn't get complicated. Not now at least.

 

They ate lunch quickly on the road. Two days later and they were reaching the city on time. There wasn't so much people around before they arrived. Luckily an old man welcomed them.


	29. In the old inn, calmness is nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woowww this chapter took me so long before I could post it...   
> With the exams coming, it'll probably take even longer between the chapters, I'm sorry for that !   
> But the story will intensify soon haha be ready.

    
As they reached the little city Jean was surprised they were welcomed just like that. But he was glad they were. Nevertheless Jean stayed near Marco.

 

Marco talked to the man a bit, saying where they were coming from and asking if they could spend the night somewhere.

 

Jean let Marco talk here. They were asking if they could spend the night somewhere and actually they could. Gladly. "We're pretty lucky, you know that?" Jean said and grinned.

 

"Yeah, that's making it easy for us" Marco replied glad as well. The old man took them to what looked like an old inn. Marco couldn't dream of something better in these days.

 

They really were lucky. The old inn they were brought to seemed good enough to stay in even though they couldn't expect luxury. But Jean was like so glad they got this.

 

"We can rest well and that's great" Marco stated and slid a hand around Jean's waist. Nobody knew them and anyways Marco didn't care. The old man looked at him curiously but didn't say a word. He led the two young men to a room.

 

"It is indeed" Jean agreed and smiled. They were brought to a room, a bedroom, a bathroom and a little room with a table in it. "Is it really okay to just stay here?" Jean asked the old man. This one just said he never got visitors here so it was fine. Well.

 

"Once again... We are very lucky" Marco said as they entered the room and he looked around. "We even have a bathroom !" Marco was delighted. He didn't have a proper shower since... A while. Maybe the water wouldn't even be hot but it was good enough.

 

"The water works here?" Jean asked the man. This one nodded. "This old inn has not much water left so one shower per person" he explained before he left. Wow they really really really were lucky. Jean entered the bedroom with two small beds first and placed his stuff onto the floor before he walked back to Marco.

 

The old man excused himself and walked out informing Marco that they could find him downstairs. Marco continued to look around though it wasn't so big in here. He sat and relaxed on the small poor couch in the middle of the room.

 

"Wanna shower first?" Jean asked as he sat down next to Marco. "How can we be so lucky. This is even better than the shack we were at before! We're upgrading" Jean said and chuckled.

 

"You can go first if you want". Marco replied as he leaned in to kiss Jean quickly. That was so freaking domestic. He backed up and chuckled as well. "Maybe next time we'll find a real house with a kitchen and all" he said dreaming about.

 

"Okay" Jean replied and quickly kissed Marco back. Then he stood up. "Good luck finding an actual house" Jean replied before he grabbed his things. He went in the bathroom. God finally he could shower. He turned the water on - it was fucking cold. But that didn't stop him from finally getting more clean.

 

As Jean went to take a shower, Marco moved to the bedroom and laid on one of the small bed. It was comfy enough to spend a good night, a really good night ! But he couldn't have Jean in his arms with this disposition... He stood again and moved the beds side to side. Better.

 

Jean showered quickly and sighed in relief. It felt so good, he didn't have a real shower in a looong time. Once finished he searched for a towel but couldn't find one. "Marco? Are there any towels?" he yelled so Marco would here him. If there weren't any he'd have to change in his clothes wet. But well it could be worse.

 

Marco heard Jean and started to search for a towel. He found one lost in the corner of a small dresser and brought it to Jean. He knocked first. "Jean ? I found one".

 

"Good" Jean replied and opened the door just enough to grab the towel. "Thanks" he quickly said and closed the door again. He dried himself and put on his clothes again. He felt much better now. He walked outside and handed Marco the only towel. "The water's freaking cold" he informed him.

 

Marco quickly handed it out to Jean. Jean who was naked on the other side of the door. Marco breathed deep and returned to sit on the bed then Jean returned.   
"Okay" he replied with a smile, taking the towel and going to the bathroom in his turn. The water was indeed freezing.

 

Once Marco was in the bathroom, Jean started sorting the things in his backpack, taking out what was needed here. A bit of their lunch and such. Jean went to the bedroom and let out a chuckle. Of course Marco would place the beds side to side.

 

Marco stepped out of the shower. The cold water had washed off his tiredness and Marco searched for something to do. He couldn't do arrows in someone's inn. Maybe he could go help the old man ? Firstly, Marco needed one of his many daily doses of Jean.

 

Jean walked out of the bedroom again and sat down onto the couch lazily. When was the last time he sat on a couch? He remembered how often Marco and him had sat on the couch and watched endless movies and ate popcorn. That was a nice memory of their childhood Jean remembered well.

 

The freckled man joined his boyfriend on the couch, laying down carelessly and he decided to rest his head on Jean's lap. And it was surprisingly comfortable.

 

Jean smiled when Marco rested his hand on his lap. Jean caressed Marco's hair a bit. "Your hair's still wet" he noticed. But his was too. It was not like they had the luxury of a hair dryer. But Jean didn't mind, they were inside so they wouldn't catch a cold.

 

Aah, finally. Marco was kind of addicted to Jean's presence.   
"Oh, sorry !" he said and sat up. He couldn't make Jean's pants all wet.

 

"It's okay no need to apologize" Jean said and chuckled. Marco was so cute like that. Jean sat up a bit straighter. "Finally a real shower I'm so glad about it" he said and laughed.

 

"Yeah right" Marco replied and grinned.

 

"Are you hungry yet? We could eat now if you want" he said and showed Marco the rest of their lunch. Jean's stomach was kinda growling.

 

Marco contained a chuckle. He wasn't particularly hungry but Jean seemed to be. "Yeah let's eat now" he said and held out a hand to grab his lunch. They could have a full night of sleep afterwards, Marco's body was the most happy about it. Finally his wounds were all scarred now so he could get full-up energy when sleeping. 

 

Jean thanked Marco gladly and started eating. Because he was kinda hungry, he finished quick. "Ahh that was good. First a shower and then something to eat we really can't complain" Jean said and smiled at Marco. He wanted to kiss him but Marco was still eating so... Yeah.

 

"Do you think Clarisse is better now too ?" Marco asked suddenly thinking back about their friends. They were friends, no ?

 

"I think so. It takes her a lot more to get down" Jean replied and nodded. She really was a tough young woman. Everyone was tough in this group, even Margaret was. "So don't worry" he added and leaned against Marco.

 

"Mmh ? Well, she IS strong" Marco added chuckling. And she was in love, a reason more to not get down.

 

With one hand Jean cupped Marco's cheek and pulled him a bit closer while kissing him. It was way too long since they last did that, right?

 

Way too long, hm ? Well, Marco would love to have Jean's lips over his every minute of the day. Marco slowly toppled Jean and laid him carefully on the couch. They kissed a moment like this till the position became uncomfortable because, the couch was a bit too little for the two grownup men.

 

Marco seemed to like to be on Jean huh ? But Jean liked it as well laying on Marco. But he couldn't complain, he was kissing his boyfriend and nothing else mattered. They shared some kisses but this couch wasn't the biggest one so Jean sat up again, it was too uncomfortable otherwise. Sadly.

 

"Wanna go to bed ? It'll be better after all" he whispered to Jean, looking into his pretty brown eyes.

 

"Yeah sure" Jean replied and stood up. He took Marco's hand in his, something they didn't have done often yet but damn Jean liked it. They were totally looking like a couple now!

 

Marco chuckled silently and dizzy from love looking at their fingers interlocked. Jean guided him to their bedroom for tonight. All of this still felt like a dream. Marco rushed to let himself fall on top of one of the bed. It was a small but comfy bed. Marco looked up to Jean and welcomed him close to his body.

 

Jean chuckled when Marco let himself fall on one bed. He sat onto the second bed and laid close to Marco, letting Marco's hand in his.

 

Marco snuggled closer, getting discreetly (or not) on Jean's bed more. "We're good here" he said quietly, enjoying each moment so close to Jean.

 

Jean smiled and nodded. For a moment they stayed like this but Jean decided to push himself up to top Marco. He grinned and looked down at him. "Love you~" he whispered and leaned down to just kiss Marco's freckled nose.

 

"I never thought before I'd have the chance to here these words everyday from you" Marco replied from under Jean. Kissing Marco's nose made the freckled guy shut his eye a second. Marco took his sweet revenge, hands on Jean's back and moving up to Jean's lips. He kissed them gently and moved to Jean's ear to murmur "I love you too Jean ~".

 

"And I never thought I could actually say those words to you" Jean said and smiled happily. He blushed and smiled even more when Marco repeated those words.

 

"You're blushing sweetheart" Marco informed Jean caressing Jean's cheek.

 

"Of course I do when you say you love me and call me that" Jean replied and chuckled. He ran a hand slowly from Marco's cheek to his neck to his chest. "You know I thought I never ever get the chance again to confess to you. But here you are" Jean told out of the blue and smiled. "I'm glad I found you- or more you found me. I really am" he said.

 

Jean's words made Marco melt on the spot. "You're gonna make me cry" Marco said chuckling but genuine. "The same goes for me. Maybe I should have let a letter to my men thanking them to have found you, that now I was escaping with you to find myself again and live happily with the only one I've ever loved" he added as he started to kiss Jean's hand, wrist... And decided to mark Jean again on the same spot that last time.

 

"Wha- I don't want to make you cry!" Jean quickly defended himself. Never ever he wanted to be the reason of Marco crying. Jean looked down at his wrist because Marco placed a mark once again on this spot. "What is it this time for?" Jean asked and chuckled.

 

"Crying because of happiness, idiot" Marco said chuckling and flicked gently Jean's forehead. He glanced back at the wrist that he released. "Same. To keep you safe" Marco said with a broad smile.

 

Jean pouted in protest when Marco flicked his forehead. Marco released Jean's wrist again. "And how does it keep me safe?" he asked then.

 

"Hmm... It's like a charm" Marco said chuckling lightly again after he thought of something that could work as a reply.

 

"Well that's a... special charm then I guess" Jean replied and chuckled. His Marco was so precious. "Then you'll get one too" he said and leaned down to Marco's collarbone because he already had found a spot.

 

"O-Ok" Marco whispered blushing slightly and his sight followed Jean leaning down his collarbone. "Here ?" Marco asked curiously but got cut by Jean's lips already sucking pleasurably on his skin.

 

Once Jean had placed a perfect mark there he backed up again. "Yup, here" he replied and grinned. "Now you're blushing" he noticed and chuckled. "Adorable."

 

"Pfff the only one who ever called me that was my mom" Marco said with a laughing smile.

 

"And now I'll call you that. You're adorable plus your freckles are cute. And you can't say anything against it" Jean replied with a slight smirk. He really thought that Marco's freckles were kind of cute.

 

"What are you even blabbing about- ?" Marco said as he laughed softly. Plus Marco had one large scar on the half of his face, how did that make him adorable ? The thought turned his gaze to look a bit sadder but it was ok. Jean shouldn't see this.

"What is it ? Did I do something wrong ?" Jean asked frowning in concern. Marco was looking sad somehow.

 

Marco looked up. So Jean could notice a small thing like that. "It's n-not you... That's not important I just- I just wish I could have kept myself in one piece for you. Like- two eyes and all" he said very embarrassed now. He knew it was silly to think that.

 

Jean listened to Marco's words. Here Marco was Marco again; a bit insecure about himself. "Hey having one eye and such because of a apocalypse doesn't change the fact how you look in my eyes: adorable and hot and beautiful and I don't know so many things" Jean replied. What a stupid reason it was. "I love you with your eyepatch just as much as I did when you had two eyes" he said and sat up to cross his arms.

 

"Y-you... Jean~" Marco replied and went to hug Jean.

 

Jean raised his eyebrows in surprise when Marco suddenly hugged him. He hugged Marco back and rubbed his back. "Is everything okay again? You don't have a reason to be sad okay" Jean murmured and kissed Marco's cheek gently.

 

"Yeah, hm, I think I might still not accept fully the fact that I lost my eye and such. It's hard to have confidence about this subject" Marco explained and asked cuddling more into Jean's arms "Can I- can I try to take it off a moment ? The eyepatch. I feel like I mustn't hide anything about me when I'm around you and-". Marco stopped searching for words but he mostly had already said what was running in his head.

 

"And that's okay. But please don't ever forget I love you anyways. You could lose a leg or an arm or whatever I'd still love you okay?" Jean said trying to make things clear. He really loved Marco no matter what. When Marco asked if he could take off the patch Jean nodded. "Sure, you don't have to ask me that" he said and smiled encouraging.

 

"Let's try to not lose anything more. Same goes for you" Marco said chuckling halfheartedly. Jean nodded and encouraged Marco but it hardly made the thing easier to do. Marco wanted it, his heart wanted to trust Jean but his head was keeping him aback as the lonely and cold hearted guy he has been for too long. Trying to keep his head cool, he took the eyepatch off and put it down the bedside table. Marco instinctively traced the scar with a finger. Some night he was waking up and felt like the scar was bleeding. Obviously it was just a dream but it was another thing that haunted Marco before. The other Marco, the Marco that was apart from Jean. "I'm so glad to have you" Marco said again to Jean. He sighed.

 

"I don't intend to lose anything" Jean said and joined in the chuckling. Marco then took off the eyepatch and placed it on the bedside table. He still seemed insecure about it. Jean leaned down again and as soft as possible he kissed the scar on his face. He backed up a bit and smiled. "I hope you can relax without it around me soon" he said and kissed Marco's nose.

 

"Wh-wha" Marco stuttered and contracted as Jean prudently kissed his scar. He backed up and Marco could say with something close to hope "Maybe o-one day... soon" then looked away a bit.

 

"I'll kiss you there until you'll understand there's nothing to be insecure about" Jean said and crossed his arms grinning. He already thought that Marco would react like that.

 

"J-Jean, please.. Go slowly" he pleaded and now didn't match his body built, scars and tough features sometimes because all he was was a bundle of shyness, insecurity and even fear maybe. Wait, he wasn't scared of Jean nor Jean's reactions but Marco was afraid of his own reaction to Jean's touch.

 

Jean sighed slightly. "Okay. I know you need your time" he said but he was a little bit disappointed about it. Marco didn't have to fear anything from Jean. He just wanted to show Marco how he loved him and everything of him. But maybe there the old Marco was still hiding, the insecure and so cute and shy one.

 

"Thank you" Marco replied as he looked up. The trace of sadness was slightly visible but Marco wanted to brush it off for tonight. He'd try to keep the eyepatch down on the bedside table for the night. Marco took Jean's hand in his and waited a bit.

 

There was this sad face again. Couldn't Jean do anything about it to make Marco more happy and confident? Jean wanted to punch himself for not being able to wash away Marco's sad face. When Marco took Jean's hand in his, he kissed Marco's hand gently.

 

This romantic kiss made the tall guy blush. Jean was amazing, huh ? Marco would concentrate on that thought for the rest of the night. He laid down, taking Jean against him and cuddled.

 

Jean looked up at Marco and smiled. Marco was blushing which was already better than just that sad face. Once laid down again Jean put his arms around Marco and caressed his cheek. Cuddling like this was great too.

 

"Jean.." Marco murmured as he relaxed. His heart was pounding normally again and he cuddled a bit more than he already was with Jean. Without the patch on his eye Marco felt more bare than if he was actually naked. Jean's caresses soothed him greatly.

 

"What is it?" Jean murmured when Marco said his name and he looked at Marco. Just looking at Marco made him smile.

 

"You... you give me so much. Thank you" Marco murmured now.

 

"So much what?" Jean continued asking before he snuggled in the crook of Marco's neck, placing light kisses on the freckled skin.

 

"Ermm ... Love. Courage. Strength... Maybe more that I can't think of right now" Marco replied shivering under Jean's soft kisses.

 

Jean blushed and looked up again. "That sounds somehow great" he said and smiled again. Jean was smiling so often now it was a bit strange. "Well then I'm glad I can give you all that" Jean then said and stretched a bit to kiss Marco.

 

"It's great actually" Marco said and kissed back.

 

Jean cupped Marco's cheek and pulled him a bit closer so he could lick over Marco's lips and nibble on them a bit.

 

Marco moaned slightly into the kiss. Jean was very 'affectionate' and Marco needed this at least.

 

Jean blushed and he heated up a bit when Marco suddenly moaned. Jean didn't intend to start a making out session today because he was kinda tired, but he wanted to keep kissing Marco, so he slowly pressed his tongue against Marco's lips once again, begging for entrance.

 

Marco didn't let him beg for it and welcomed Jean gladly as the freckled boy started to kiss back with a lot of love involved.

 

Jean smiled into the kiss when he discovered Marco's mouth and this one kissed him back so dearingly. Right now it was just a nice, peaceful and kinda romantic mood. There was the possibility Jean could ruin the moment now, but he cupped Marco's face and caressed it gently, sometimes brushing the slightest over Marco's lost eye.

 

Marco who was relaxed now couldn't help but tense up at the touch. He even clenched his jaw causing Jean's tongue to get out of there. Marco regretted this reaction the moment it occurred. But Jean was gentler than anything and Marco managed to relaxed soon under the touch. It was extremely strange for Marco though.   
He slowly parted his lips again for Jean and gave into the kiss.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows as he was forced to pull out his tongue again. Marco was totally tensing up just because Jean had touched the scar as gentle as possible? But he couldn't scold Marco for that. Luckily Marco relaxed a bit again after some time and they continued kissing, even though Jean left out the scar now. He just wanted to show Marco that he had no problem with it.

 

Because of this useless drama, as Marco judged it, he was now more tired that he thought and got a bit lazy in the kiss. He parted an instant to put the blanket on them and then warmly wrapped up together, Marco slid his hand on Jean's bare back. Their position was warm and comfortable.

 

Marco broke the kiss and well Jean could understand it. Then Marco put a blanket on both of them and Jean felt Marco's hand on his back. He wrapped his arms around Marco again and laid against his side. He didn't want to make Marco mad anymore so he wouldn't touch Marco's face there again, he just laid next to him.

 

"I'm sorry" Marco said quietly and looked away. He wished it was easier and he didn't even realize why it was complicated for him. Marco's forehead went to rest on Jean's chest.  
 

"What are you sorry for?" Jean asked and caressed Marco's hair a bit. Marco didn't have one reason to apologize, he really did not.

 

"I'm sorry I'm still overthinking these kind of things. You deserve better than this" Marco explained shyly.

 

Jean sighed. "I can understand that you're not so confident about it. I should apologize for prudently touching you there without asking" Jean replied and looked down at Marco.

 

"N-no that's okay, I'm just.. I'm not used to it" he said and deposed a light kiss on Jean's chest.

 

"But don't worry, I won't do this anymore. I mean I'm not blind I can see how you react to it and the last thing I want is you feeling uncomfortable" Jean explained.

 

"Someday it will be alright" Marco said with hope and hugged Jean tight. Somehow he was hiding the scar by burying his face on Jean's shoulder but he was so close Jean... Things felt okay. Soon Marco started to slumber in Jean's arms.   
For sure he didn't show his strong side today.

 

Jean noticed that even now Marco was hiding the scar as much as possible. He sighed in silence again and kissed Marco's hair. He really didn't have to hide it especially not in Jean's presence. Marco started falling asleep slowly so Jean didn't move. He liked Marco being in his arms much, and right now he really looked like his childhood friend.

 

In the end Marco slept in Jean's arms, in Jean's bed. It could be a bit cramped but they were so close of each other that it didn't make it uncomfortable.

 

When Jean was sure Marco slept in his arms peacefully, he swiftly kissed over the scar. It was so light Marco didn't wake up because of it. Then Jean fell asleep himself and slept until morning even though the nightmares were still haunting him.

 

Marco had nightmares this night. As if taking off the eye patch made the memories come back. He woke up in the early morning with this same feeling of the scar bleeding. He started to panic, half asleep and thought he had drenched Jean's chest with his own blood. When he finally was fully awake two minutes later he saw Jean's clothes were clean from anything looking like blood. He sighed and was furious at himself. Why did it have to be like this ? Marco had to trust Jean now and to put the past aside. It would be a whole new step in his life.

 

Jean woke up when something or better someone in his arms started to panic. His eyes opened slowly and he looked at a pale looking Marco who had backed up a bit. Jean furrowed his eyebrows and yawned. "Hey is something wrong? Did you dream bad?" he asked but didn't dare to touch Marco now maybe he really was in a panic state whysoever.

 

Marco looked back to Jean's face. He paused a moment on this face and it really helped him to calm down. Marco snuggled back on Jean and whispered "Yeah but it's okay, I'm okay. I love you Jean".

 

Jean arched his eyebrows in surprise when Marco confessed and snuggled on him again so suddenly. "Uhm okay" Jean said before he wrapped his arms around him again. "I love you too. More than anything" he replied then and gave Marco a good morning kiss.

 

It was all Marco needed from Jean now. Marco kissed Jean in return. They still had a bit of time, it was so early.

 

Jean kept Marco in his arms like this for some more time. Jean was lost in his own thoughts. He really wanted Marco to trust him. He trusted Marco so why couldn't it be the other way round ?

 

Jean was doing everything Marco needed for the moment and Marco was really thankful for it.

 

After some time more Jean sat up a bit. "Want something for breakfast?" he asked and smiled at Marco. He loved him anyway.

 

Marco smiled at his lover. "Yes please" he replied. Marco thought he sounded exactly the way he was before. When they were still together as best friends before the apocalypse.

 

Jean noticed too that Marco sounded the same as before the apocalypse. And it was just wonderful. Jean stood up and prepared a quick breakfast for both of them. "Breakfast in bed?" he asked and grinned.

 

"Oh yes !" Marco replied smiling brightly. It sounded all lovey dovey and Marco couldn't deny the fact that he loved that too much.

 

Jean chuckled. Marco seemed way more happy now. And Jean didn't thought of reminding Marco he still was without the eyepatch one second. Jean sat down again and handed Marco the food.

 

"Thank you very much" Marco said taking the food. He scooted closer to Jean and started to eat.

 

"Hey no problem" Jean said and smiled at Marco. He started eating as well. They had it so comfy here, even breakfast in bed? That was awesome! "I thought of staying here a couple of days. Maybe we can help out here and get weapons or something like that in return" he said.

 

"Huh ? Why not" Marco replied with a happier face now. He had Jean so no need to panic nor to feel bad.

 

Jean was glad Marco was of the same opinion. "Then we'll stay a bit. We can go downstairs later and ask the man if there's anything to do okay?" Jean asked and smiled.

 

"Okay" the freckled man replied and finished eating calmly. It was peaceful around here. They finished, cuddled a little bit and went to put their jackets on to go downstairs. Marco saw the eyepatch on the table. First he went to kiss Jean with love. Secondly he went to put the eyepatch on again.

 

Jean knew he would get Marco mad but he couldn't do otherwise. He stood up and helped Marco putting the eyepatch on. He wanted to do that at least. He wanted to help Marco.

 

"J-Jean !" Marco first protested but he knew Jean didn't mean any harm as he helped Marco. It still stung Marco's heart. Which reminded Marco that now he was feeling around this area in his chest. Jean was the one who made him feel things again. When Jean finished Marco turned and looked up chewing on his bottom lip. "Thanks" he said.

 

"anytime" Jean said and smiled before he quickly kissed Marco. He then took Marco's hand in his and walked downstairs with him, looking for the old man.

 

Why was Jean doing everything so right ? Marco stayed shyly aback but kept Jean's hand firmly in his. Maybe because Jean knew how to react around THIS kind of Marco, pretty much his own character back then. They found the old man in a sort of small kitchen, making something looking like bread.

 

They found the man pretty quickly and asked if they could do something for them in order to stay a bit longer. He nodded. "We need some help in the garden and some help for our defense, the fence we made has to get a bit repaired" he explained. Jean looked at Marco.

 

Marco looked at Jean. "Let's start with the fence. People here surely need this protection" he said.

 

Jean nodded. "Yeah we'll do this first" he replied and looked at the old man. He nodded as well and thanked them for their help before he guided both of them to a very, very large fence holy crap.

 

No wonder they still had resources in this small village with a fence like this. The old man showed them where it had to be repaired and where they could find tools.

 

After the man had showed them everything, he left. There were already people repairing this huge thing but they had offered their help so Jean already grabbed a hammer. "It's been a long time since I repaired something instead of breaking it" he said and chuckled.

 

"Oh you're so right, me too" Marco chuckled with him. Marco took care of a part too. It took them the whole day and a lot of sweat despite the cold temperature but they had done a lot, the two of them.

 

They were pretty good at repairing and had done a lot. It took them a whole day after all. When it turned night, they had to go back to the old inn. Jean asked the man if they could take another shower and he agreed because they had 'worked for it'. They sure had produced lots of sweat. Well Jean had imagined different things when producing sweat close to Marco...

 

Marco couldn't tell about Jean's particular thoughts at the moment but he fantasized an instant as they walked up stairs about taking a shower with Jean. How good would this be ?

 

They walked upstairs to their room again and Jean sat down onto the couch immediately. He sighed in relief. "You can go first because I did yesterday" Jean said and smiled before he relaxed some more and laid lazily on the couch.

 

Marco was in a good mood after working out all day. Well, in a certain mood. He went to sit close to Jean and then moved closer. He started to place light kisses on Jean's lips and turned red before he asked in a quite voice "want to go together ?". Marco wished it wasn't a too strange proposition. They were going out for almost 3 weeks now so it didn't sound so weird for him.

 

Jean was a bit surprised that Marco sat down next to him instead of taking a shower. Jean kissed him back smiling. But what Marco asked for then made Jean as red as a tomato. "I- I don't know" was the only thing he could say right now. His heart sure skipped a beat. Well, Jean would like to but even when they made out they never went past taking off their shirts and showering was done... naked. Jean didn't know if he fainted then seeing Marco naked.

 

Marco blushed more mostly from embarrassment. "I-I'll go then" he said because he had made it awkward. Maybe it was too soon, huh ? Marco went to the bedroom to take his other change of clothes and the only towel.

 

Shit, Jean didn't want Marco get mad now. "I uhm- I don't know it's just we never went further than being shirtless and all" Jean tried to explain himself and grew even redder. "B-But if you want to" he added. If this was a comic he would be steaming. His heart was beating so fast right now. And he somehow feared that he would get turned on instantly and would get a boner right in front of Marco. That'd be too embarrassing especially if he was naked.

 

Marco felt himself burning from embarrassment. And he was the one bringing that on ! What an idiot ! He wanted to jump from the window seriously.  
He turned around and scratched his neck. "Well ehm, of c-course I-I want to" he replied and combusted on the spot.

 

Jean really didn't know. On the one side he'd love to share a shower with Marco, it was something couples did but just imagine taking off his clothes in front of Marco and then seeing Marco doing the same was too much, it was too early. "M-Maybe another time okay?" Jean then said. He didn't want to reject Marco but it would cause so many awkward and embarrassing situations. "It's not I don't want to but- well" he added.

 

"Y-Yeah, no problem. Sorry I made the situation super awkward" he replied quite out of breath from burning up and chuckled it off. Marco then fled to the bathroom. Against the door he took his time so his heart would stop making a fuss in his chest. Jean didn't really reject the idea. He said m-maybe a n-next time huh ? Marco breathed deep and showered quickly. The water was still fucking freezing and it made his thoughts turn right again.

 

"N-No it's fine" Jean said. Somehow he was glad when Marco left to the bathroom. His face was literally burning. He hoped he didn't make Marco disappointed, mad or even worse sad because of the rejection. Jean just wasn't ready for that. He was acting so unmanly right now but he had to be prepared for something like this. Just imaging showering with Marco could get him turned on.

 

Marco changed and hoped the rest of the evening wouldn't be awkward because of him. He went to the bedroom and put his things down.

 

Marco finished quick and Jean went into the bathroom. Finally he could cool down. Jean showered quickly and dried himself up. Then he sighed. It couldn't be true. First the towel now his clothes. His fresh clothes were still outside. He didn't notice because Marco was distracting him way too much! Jean quickly put the towel on and then went outside. "Forgot my clothes" he said and grabbed them before he quickly rushed back inside. Then he finally put everything on and kept the towel to dry his hair, then he walked outside.

 

Ok so now Marco could understand why Jean politely refused Marco's proposition. Seeing the other man naked with just a towel around the waist was already way much. Marco kept a straight face until Jean entered the bathroom again then all his blood rushed to two specific parts. Oh yes he could understand... Jean was so terribly HOT. Like... His ankles were handsome ! Marco rolled on the bed to hide his red face in the pillow. He stayed like this a moment.

 

With the towel still on his head which sure looked funny enough he walked to grab his backpack. "Do you want dinner yet?" he asked. He finally was okay again, the shower had helped a lot to calm down again.

 

Marco looked up from his pillow and face planted in it again as he burst out laughing. Jean had a funny face with his hair replaced by this towel wrap. He looked up again and replied "I'm not starving but yeah why not".

 

"What is so funny?" Jean said and pouted. If it was the towel; Jean liked his hair and it looked better dry. Maybe he was a bit too selfconfident there. But that didn't matter. "We can wait a bit longer with the food and just relax. The day was hard after all" Jean said. He tried his best not to mention Marco's request ever again.

 

"Yeah it was a long day" Marco said flopping on his back and crossed his arms behind his head. A large grin showed up on his lips. "We're safe around here. Well it feels like it" he added.

 

Jean chuckled. "I guess we are for now. Let's just enjoy that as long as we can" he sat and laid down next to him. It felt good after a day of working hard to just lay down.

 

Good. They were both letting Marco's embarrassing proposition from before aside. Jean laid next to Marco and Marco passed an arm around his lover.

 

Jean smiled immediately after Marco wrapped an arm around him. Jean scooted a bit closer and laid his head onto Marco's chest.

 

Marco sighed happily and said "we're lucky again".

 

Jean chuckled. "Yup we are. I hope it will stay like this and that our luck won't disappear suddenly" he said. They already went through much, they deserved this luck now, right?

 

"Exactly right" Marco added and nodded. He leaned down and kissed Jean's forehead. "Pffff seriously man don't get mad but this mop in your hair is ridiculous" Marco said chuckling.

 

Jean grumbled and pouted grumpily. He sat up and put the towel off. His hair was not dry enough yet but well what should he do about it. "Better now?" he asked and crossed his arms. "Sorry that I don't look hot with a towel on my head" he added.

 

Marco chuckled more and sighed. He sat up and leaned on Jean's back. "You're hot. The towel's not" he said letting out a chuckle again.

 

Okay, Jean couldn't stay mad at Marco or get mad at him in the first place, so he chuckled. "Well then I'm glad my boyfriend thinks I'm hot" he said and grinned.

 

"Oh yes you are~" Marco murmured to him as he put his chin to rest on Jean's shoulder. If only they had days calm like this everyday.

 

"But you are too" Jean replied. Especially because Marco was hot and so handsome which wouldn't make showering together even harder to do in the first place. He wouldn't say that though.

 

"Oh.." Marco voiced blushing slightly. He was stupid, still reacting like a virgin at Jean's compliments. Wait. He was a virgin. Marco exited from his foolish thoughts and gave a sweet kiss in Jean's neck.

 

Jean blushed when Marco placed a kiss in Jean's neck. Moments like these were so precious and Jean wanted to keep every moment they shared in mind. "I love you" he said once again and smiled to himself.

 

Marco warmed up inside. "I love you too... Seems like we're saying it pretty often uh. Maybe to compensate for all these years we went through unable to say it" Marco said, deep thinking.

 

Jean grinned. "Yeah, maybe. I mean if we weren't such idiots we could probably have been together for years" Jean said and blushed. What if he confessed earlier, before the apocalypse and such? What if?

 

Marco tried not to think too much about it. But he kind of knew an answer to it already. "I think if I lost you after you confessing to me it would have been too painful. I mean... I was already so shocked about it, what if I didn't survive your loss ?" he said quizzically.

 

Jean sighed slightly. "Yeah that may be true. But what if we tried to stay together even more and wouldn't have gotten separated?" Jean said and turned his head a bit towards Marco. "But that doesn't matter because we're together now and I couldn't be happier" he added.

 

Marco sighed too. "Yeah" he affirmed and kissed Jean's lips softly. He then took Jean to lay down with him.

 

Jean smiled again. He turned in Marco's arms so he wouldn't lay with his back on Marco's front side, that wouldn't be that comfortable. So he laid onto Marco but rolled to the side to snuggle against him even though he wasn't sleepy yet.

 

Marco turned too so he would have Jean fit in his arms. They stayed a little while like this before Marco's stomach started to grumble a bit.

 

Jean started laughing lightly when Marco's stomach announced itself. "Wanna eat dinner now?" he asked and sat up again.

 

"Nooo I want to keep you in my arms" Marco complained childishly. But he sat up and hugged Jean with love before they actually went to eat something.

 

"Geez it's not like we'll sleep in the same bed after dinner" he said and winked at Marco. He stood up and made them something for dinner.

 

This shut Marco's mouth and made him shy about everything. Still it wasn't much. Marco crosslegged on the edge of the bed and looked passionately at Jean putting some ingredients together to create them a proper dinner. "You're amazing" Marco said with admiration as Jean held out a plate for his freckled friend.

 

Jean blushed and raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Huh I-I'm not" he replied and looked away. somehow it was very special to receive such a compliment from the one and only Marco.

 

Marco chuckled lightly and said "Hey you're actually able to make dinner with -what- nothing. You're amazing". And he started to bite in his share.

 

"If you say so" Jean said and blushed more. He wasn't amazing at all. If someone was, then Marco. "I hope it does taste good enough" he said before he started eating the food himself.

 

"It does" Marco replied gladly. Jean blushing was precious.

 

"That's good" Jean replied and finished eating quick. He laid back and put his arms behind his head. "I think tomorrow I'll help in the garden they spoke about" Jean told about his decision.

 

Marco finished soon after and joined Jean, laying on his full belly. "That's a good idea" he commented with a smile.

 

Jean turned his head and looked at Marco. "What will you do?" he asked curious about it now. They didn't have to do everything together if Marco wanted to do something different that was fine.

 

"Hmm ? Maybe I'll help around the fence tomorrow again. It was fun today" he said still smiling.

 

"Fun? Well maybe. But I feel good about finally doing hard work again. It doesn't have to be travel and slay zombies 24/7" Jean replied and nodded. He did want to reach the big city but it didn't matter how long it would take.

 

Marco started on another subject and asked "How many days left do you think there are before we reach the city ?"

 

"Hmm I don't know for sure. It could be two, it could be ten. I don't know but what I know is that we'll reach it no matter what" Jean said. He grew a bit bored of just talking so he did 'like always' and rolled onto Marco, a grin on his face.

 

Marco nodded first and got rolled over by Jean which made him giggle a bit.

 

"What so funny?" Jean asked and chuckled when Marco started giggling. "It's so cute when you do that" he murmured and looked at Marco lovingly.

 

Marco opened his mouth to reply but suddenly blushed and looked shyly away. Marco really felt the changes inside him since he was with Jean and now seemed to have reached a fortunate point where Marco felt exactly the same as before the apocalypse. At least when he is alone with Jean sharing those precious moments.

 

Jean tilted his head and chuckled when Marco reacted so shy. He laid down and squeezed Marco for a moment. "God don't be so adorable!" he said before he backed up again. He grinned brightly at his Marco. He really could be lucky having a boyfriend such as Marco no matter what he did in the time when he was without Jean.

 

"I-I'm not- geez" Marco stuttered and gave up. He couldn't fight against his dear Jean. Marco hugged him tight, bringing Jean back to his chest. And this smile on Jean's lips was making the man outrageously shine.

 

Jean gasped in surprise but smiled when Marco hugged him tight. He quickly kissed Marco before he backed up once again. He looked at Marco's face, obviously a certain thing there was bothering him. But he wouldn't ask for Marco taking his eyepatch off, he couldn't do that. Instead he leaned down again to kiss Marco's lips multiple times.

 

Marco couldn't help it. He noticed the fraction of second Jean's gaze laid on his eyepatch. It made his face look darker but every kisses Jean let on him after, cheered him up. After a moment he tried. He unknotted the eyepatch but let it like that. It would fall or not and Marco wouldn't make anything about it.


	30. Together in the old inn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally posting ! It took long but since the last chapter I passed exams... and also Giuli (who writes as Jean) and I (writing as Marco) got to... see each other in real life !! Hahh it was great to meet each other after roleplaying for so long together.  
> Anyways ! Enjoy this chapter and comment and leave us kudos !

  

Jean was a bit surprised and confused when Marco started unknotting the eyepatch but didn't take it off completely. But he could understand that Marco needed time. Nevertheless Jean wanted to help Marco to get used to it, to live without it at least at night when he was with Jean. So Marco wouldn't think of it anymore, Jean slid a hand under his shirt and continued kissing him.  
  

Marco thanked Jean mentally for not making a comment about Marco's little experiment. Instead his lover went to do something completely different and it non-surprisingly made Marco's body heat up.  
  

Jean caressed the skin under the fabric softly and brushed sometimes over Marco's nipples. He broke the kiss after a while to kiss Marco's forehead, nose and cheek.  
  

Wow, Marco might really have been in a horny mood today, explaining the shower episode and such, because Jean's doing and particularly around Marco's nipples made the freckled man react fast down there. It wasn't obvious to the eyes but Marco felt it. Marco melted into silent moans and whimpers and tried to be active too by placing both hand under the fabric on Jean's ass. God, this didn’t help the situation in Marco’s pants. How could this man have milky skin soft buttcheeks ?!  
  

Jean blushed immediately when Marco ran his hands under the fabric of his pants again. Could he ever get used to that? Jean took Marco's shirt off which resulted in the shirt taking the eyepatch right off with it. Jean didn't care about that. He wanted to try what Marco did the other day and started with kissing around Marco's chest. He didn't know how he got into the mood for making out so suddenly but well why not.  
  

Marco's shirt flew off. The eye patch too. "I feel... kind of bare" Marco said a bit shy and uneasy. Jean's lips on his chest made him slightly shiver. Though he hurried and placed his hands back in place on the skin under the jeans of his lover.  
  

"Tell me when you feel uncomfortable about anything okay?" Jean said and looked up for a moment. Then he leaned down again and prudently kissed one of Marco's nipples, massaging the other one.  
  

Marco nodded, feeling the heat over his cheeks. He was okay for now. Anyway Jean was doing a spectacularly good job to make Marco focus on something else than the right side of his face right now. Nipples were an unknown world for Marco.  
  

Good, Marco seemed okay right now. Good. Jean was more at ease now doing anything. He started licking over the pink thing slowly before he softly start sucking on it. He hoped he could make Marco feel as good as Marco had made him.  
  

It actually felt very good. Marco moaned a bit louder, like a whisper now. One of his hand went up to Jean's hair and caressed it lovingly. Jean was good when making out, he knew what to do ! Marco wanted to kiss him again.  
  

Jean wanted Marco to moan louder, to moan for him. So he increased his doings. Marco's hand in his hair felt pretty good too.  
  

And Jean did pretty well. Marco started to let his voice out, humming Jean's name from time to time. But his crotch was what reacted the most. Marco focused on keeping that part good and not wild.  
  

Jean changed the side and started sucking on the other one. Marco seemed to feel good. Marco deserved that because he made Jean feel good too. And Marco repeating his name encouraged him and made him pretty much blush, because he never dreamt of Marco saying his name in such a voice. It was a big turn on.  
  

Marco stayed good a little while but he had to act too. His hand massaged Jean's ass a bit, squeezing it sometimes. They had to discover what felt good between them. For most of what they did till now, everything felt so good.  
  

Jean grew red and let out a little moan himself when he felt Marco squeezing his butt. Never ever he had imagined doing such things with Marco, it really was amazing. Jean backed up a bit again and smirked at Marco’s beautiful blushing face. He leaned in and finally kissed his lover again while his hands where caressing the skin of his upper body.  
  

Marco's breath stopped at the sight of his lover's eyes. They were full of love and a bit of lust and the rest of it was Marco's reflect into Jean's pupils. He kissed Marco and Marco kissed back. Soon their bodies started to rock each other softly as if a sweet melody was being played around them.  
  

Jean felt just good. He was close to his Marco and kissed him. It was such a good feeling to finally be able to do so. "-love you" Jean murmured as they parted for a short second and he went to kiss Marco again.  
  

This made Marco feel even better. He didn't know what to do to make it better now because they were already sharing a perfect moment.

    
Jean broke the kiss a second time and went for Marco's neck. Today he wanted to make Marco feel as good as possible especially because yesterday has been a tiring night, the drama about his eyepatch and such.

    
As Jean went for his neck, Marco repeated the three magic words to him and Jean's name in addition.

    
Jean felt pretty loved now because Marco was repeating those words over and over again. Jean didn't intend to place new hickeys in Marco's neck (there were already enough) but he kissed the skin with passion. Marco's hands were still in his pants and until now he was pretty much used to it, which made that feel even better.

    
They used a whole hour cuddling like that. Well it was a bit more than cuddling at this point...

    
In the time they were kissing and touching and simply making out Jean had to control himself not to get too much into it aka his thing down there would not react too much. Marco was still shirtless what Jean enjoyed pretty much. But he wanted to feel Marco's skin on his, so he decided to quickly take his own shirt off too.  
  

Marco only needed this more to be up for good down there. Jean's skin was more than warm on Marco's.  The freckled guy decided of his turn now. He toppled Jean and joined their lips again and soon their tongues danced together again.  
  

They changed places suddenly and Jean was the one laying on the mattress now. He put his arms around Marco's neck and kissed him back gladly. But geez, the kisses were turning him on much. Jean really enjoyed this moment.  
  

Marco ran his hands tenderly on each side on Jean's chest. They kissed passionately for a good five minutes. Meanwhile Marco traced with his hand a curved line from Jean's belly button to his wrist, feeling his chest, shoulder and arm then intertwined their fingers together when his hand reached it.  
  

Jean shivered slightly and let a soft moan of pleasure coming out of his throat. Marco's hand was so gentle and soft. Especially that soft touch was enough for Jean to feel his pants getting tighter. Not good at all.  
  

Marco moaned in sync. The mood was set and Marco looked unsure at Jean as he slid a hand down to the button of Jean's pants. He didn't want to do something Jean didn't want.  
  

Jean's eyes widened and he blushed immediately when Marco reached to the button of Jean's pants. Were they really going farther now? Jean was okay with showing a bit more of skin so he let Marco do what he wanted but Jean knew he didn't want to go all the way. It was too early. Jean didn't even know what made him think so. Maybe because Marco was so special to him.  
  

Marco decided to go slowly and first kissed Jean again, slid to his neck, kissed his collarbone and while he did that he unbuttoned the jeans. With his free hand he prudently discovered the tensed fabric here and finally took the jeans off.  
  

Jean let out a moan when he felt where Marco's hands went. Everything Marco did felt way too good. Jean helped Marco getting his pants off. Now he was there just laying in his underwear huh? But he shouldn't be the only one! Jean ran his hands over Marco's chest and down to his pants before he started unbuttoning them as well. This really was a new stage of making out.  
  

Marco quickly understood what Jean wanted to do with his hands on his pants. He helped Jean and now they were both almost naked on each other. Marco felt his body temperature climb up and they were both a blushing mess. "You're the prettiest" Marco said chuckling and laid down to kiss Jean's soft and thin lips.  
  

Could Jean blush even more? Getting called 'pretty' by Marco sure made him blush more if this was possible. One of his hands ran up to Marco's hair and gripped it so he could pull Marco's head more down to him. Here and there he let out a moan and deepened the kiss once again. This was too good to be true right?  
  

Marco did more. He wished for Jean to feel the best. Cupping one side of his lover's hips with one hand, Marco pressed their lower parts carefully together slowly . He repeated the process a few times and kissed Jean back at the same time. His other hand went from Jean's neck to his chest, back to his hair, etc.  
  

Jean groaned slightly when Marco pressed their lower halves together. That was a dangerous doing of Marco, it just made Jean getting turned on more and it was seeable because well he just was in his underwear. Now he ran his hands down Marco's back and onto his butt.  
  

Marco couldn't believe it as he started to pant a bit. They were doing so good together. Jean's hands on his ass were firm enough to make him stick his front quite hard on Jean's. "Fuck-" he cursed under his breath because yeah the situation was dangerous...  
  

Jean's eyes widened again when he felt that Marco got slowly hard too. He looked down and it was too much for him already. He quickly looked back up to Marco and kissed him. Why was Marco so hot like that? Jean was pretty much horny now but they probably had to stop soon before both of them would reach the point of no return.

    
Marco locked eyes with Jean after they kissed because soon he couldn't hold it back anymore and Jean had to show him which way he wanted to go. Was his lover ready to do more ? Maybe not. Marco kissed him quickly and looked back into his eyes.  
  

Jean was a bit confused when Marco locked eyes with him like he wanted to know something. "Uh what is it?" Jean asked still confused. It broke the mood a bit but well he really didn't know what Marco was up to right now.  
  

Marco snorted shyly. "You're adorable" he mumbled first looking away then looked back at Jean he asked "what do you want to do from this point ? I'm not sure if I can take more" he explained, gently pressing purposely their fronts together, again.  
  

"I'm not" Jean murmured back. He looked up at Marco, surprised about his question. "Uh- I don't know" he said and blushed again. How should he say that without sounding unmanly? "Uhm we can stop here if you want" he said.  
  

"I don't want to rush you, we can stop here... Nod if- you- want to, whatever, I'll just do what you want" he replied cutting his words with kisses that he laid all over Jean's blushing face.  
  

"I know it's sounds like so unmanly but I want to get you something better. Like uhm I'm okay with a bit more but I don't want to go all the way now. I want a comfy and big bed for us and super delicious food and better temperature and- well what I want to say is a-a bit more is okay I guess" Jean explained himself even if it was like so embarrassing. Just thinking of him and Marco doing it one day, that was so... Mind blowing. "And don't say you'll do what I want, that's not okay."  
  

Marco stopped and backed up, his face extremely red behind his freckles. "I-I didn't think of doing it all the way today ehm... Oh god, that's making me unbelievably nervous. I mean, I think just like you. I wish we'll get a more r-romantic atmosphere and all when we... Ow well we can stop here for now and just cuddle normally?" he said suddenly turning into a bundle of nerves. Jean was seriously considering things this way ! Marco couldn't believe it. He was like falling even harder for Jean.Well, it might be a bit exaggerated. But anyway it confirmed that they didn't have to rush anything and could stop here for tonight.  
  

"Well how can I know what you mean with 'doing more'" Jean defended himself and grew possibly as red as Marco. "Yeah let's cuddle" Jean agreed and nodded quickly. They were old enough to do more, of course they were, but maybe both of them were not ready mentally.  
  

"Y-yeah" Marco replied sheepishly and laid down on Jean's side. His heart was still throbbing from everything he felt previously.  
  

"You're not mad now, right?" Jean asked and cuddled himself next to Marco's side. He closed his eyes otherwise he would stare at the slight bulge in Marco's underwear nonstop. He shouldn't even start thinking of Marco's lower part and how it looked like. God what was wrong with him??  
  

"Why should I be mad ?" Marco asked surprised and chuckled softly. "Are you acting insecure here Jean ?" he asked genuinely curious and placed his arm under Jean's head, sort of making a pillow.  
  

Jean grumbled. "I'm not insecure at all!" he stated and pouted. Well obviously he was. Marco probably too. But who could scold them for being so? "And I don't know maybe you wanted to do more and I said no and- I don't know there could be the possibility you're mad and I don't want to get you mad" he explained and kissed Marco on his collarbone.  
  

Marco let out a soft chuckle. He noticed his lower half calmed down too and it was a good thing for now. "I won't get mad at you… Unless you put yourself in an unnecessary dangerous situation, ok ?" he explained and kissed the top of Jean's head. "And this is not this kind of 'dangerous situation' so everything's alright by me" he added and grinned.  
  

Jean sighed in relief. Good, Marco was not mad. Jean was glad about that. "I won't put myself in something like that, I don't want to die after all" Jean replied. "Then I couldn't spend more time with you !" he added and quickly kissed Marco. Jean calmed down himself pretty soon and just relaxed now. He rested a hand on Marco's chest and smiled. They could die any day because it was the apocalypse, but they had time for doing... things.  
  

Marco nodded completely agreeing with Jean. They just relaxed like this a moment and now it was quite late already. Though they didn't have to wake up particularly early tomorrow so it was ok.

 

They relaxed like this for some time before Jean spoke up again. "Are you sleepy yet ?" he asked and smiled at Marco. He himself was a bit tired, but just a little bit.

 

"Not so much" Marco replied and turned on his side to face his sweetheart. Marco was smiling, satisfied by this evening. He reached for Jean's cheek slowly and caressed it.  
  

Jean tilted his head to Marco's hand and put his own onto Marco's. Jean wanted to caress Marco's cheek as well but he was afraid he would touch 'by accident' the scar and then Marco would totally back up again.  
  

Marco could understand what was going on Jean's mind at the moment. He tried to not let his own disappointment, still about himself and not Jean, show on his face and murmured "It's alright. I- I think, it's alright".

 

Jean looked up and shook his head. "If you 'think so', it's not. If you know it, then it's alright" Jean replied. He wouldn't touch Marco face. He didn't want to see such a reaction again because it hurt him when Marco backed up from him in fear. So better letting it like this huh? At least Marco seemed more at ease walking - or laying - around without the patch on.  
  

"Ok" Marco voiced silently and snuggled against Jean searching for somewhere where it was alright. Jean's arms were safe, they were loving and strong. Marco somehow liked to hide here.  
  

Jean smiled at Marco as this one snuggled against him. He first put the blanket over them, then he wrapped his arms around Marco. He was so used to sleeping close to Marco now that he probably couldn't fall asleep without him anymore.  
  

"I love you, I love you, I love you" Marco murmured quickly like a charm and hugged Jean. Now he looked up with a smile.  
  

Jean's cheeks grew a bit pink. He smiled at Marco and kissed his forehead gently. "I love you too." Now having Marco in his arms Jean noticed how much Marco already changed. It was like he has been a different person back when he was the leader of this large group. Marco changed to the good, that was a good thing. But it was obvious that he wouldn't be 100% the same.  
  

Marco sighed happily and found sleep not long after.  
  

Marco always was the first one to fall asleep. Jean chuckled again. He kissed Marco's forehead once again and then closed his eyes, pulling Marco towards his chest. He fell asleep easily now.  
  

Every night they spent together kept Marco at ease. Even if nightmares went to trouble their sleep, it was so much better to calm down in the arms of the other. Marco didn't dream of anything this night. He slept peacefully in Jean's arms.  
  

Jean woke up in the night but just looking at one and only sleeping Marco was enough to fall back asleep again. And so he slept until morning.  
  

For once Marco wasn't the first to wake up in the morning. He spent a good part of his morning in a deep sleep. Maybe his body was finally relaxing.  
  

Jean woke up with a silent snort. He looked around and found Marco sleeping peaceful and deep in his arms. He let Marco sleep for a while more especially because they would work again later.  
  

And so Marco woke up. He rubbed a hand over his face and now saw clearer.

 

After some time Marco woke up. "Good morning beautiful~" Jean said and kissed Marco on top of his head. Marco seemed fine today, it didn't look like he had had a nightmare or anything.  
  

"Good morning Jean" Marco replied blushing a bit.

    
"You're awake for 30 seconds and already blushing, geez" Jean said and chuckled before he gave Marco a quick kiss. "Did you sleep well?" he asked.  
 

Marco opened his mouth to protest but he got shut down by Jean's lips. Mmh, it felt good. But not long enough~ "Yes" he said nodding. "And you ?"  
  

Jean shrugged his shoulders. "I woke up in the night because of the nightmares but it's fine. The rest of the night I slept good I think" Jean replied and went to kiss Marco again, this time a bit longer. After that he backed up a bit and sat up, stretching himself. "You slept for long, we can't stay much longer in bed" he said and stood up, searching his clothes together. They all were laying in a mess onto the floor.  
  

Marco fell in a daze, Jean kissed him more and then started to move around the room, getting his things together. Marco stayed there his chin in his palms and his mind lost elsewhere.  
  

Jean found Marco's pair of pants and his shirt and handed him everything. Jean himself got dressed too. It somehow was weird to wake up just in their underwear... And it reminded of what they had done yesterday. Jean grew slightly red.  
  

If Marco was drooling, he didn't know but Jean moving around in the room with his boxers showing off his muscled tiny ass Marco loved so much... He came back violently to reality as he received his own clothes in his hands. "Thanks" he said by reflex and started to get them on too. 'What a shame to cover this ass' Marco thought glancing back at Jean. Seriously the freckled guy had to wake up for real now. Once they were both ready they finally stepped out of the room.  
  

Jean noticed that Marco had kinda stared at his ass when he had turned around to give Marco his clothes. Marco's eye sure had been dangerously low. Both of them changed and they stepped out. Jean wasn't sure if they maybe could find something for breakfast in this little town but well he wasn't hungry anyway.  
  

The cold air didn't fail to wake Marco fully. "So now, you're going to the garden ?" he asked because he actually didn't know what to do.  
  

"Yup I will help out there a bit. You'll go to the fence then?" Jean asked and turned around towards Marco.  
  

"Yeah" Marco replied softly. He let out a small giggle. "I don't want to let you go" he said and walked closer.  
  

Jean chuckled and hugged Marco for a moment. "It's not like I'll never see you again. Hmm so we work parted until afternoon and then do something together" Jean suggested.  
  

"What a good idea" Marco said hugging Jean and moving them on their feet a bit. "See you later then... Love you" he said looking down in Jean's eyes.  
  

"Yup see you. I love you" Jean said and quickly kissed Marco before he left. He went to the garden and helped there with digging holes so the others could plant something.

    
Marco watched Jean walk off with a loving smile. He still couldn't believe that they were doing so good together. Marco went to the fence and worked hard for the rest of the day.

    
Somehow helping out in the garden was like so tiring. But he even was allowed to plant some seeds himself. A strange thing for Jean to do. Soon the afternoon came and he could finally reunite with Marco again.

    
They met again in the middle of afternoon. Marco was all sweaty and hoped he could take a shower later. Jean found him not far from the fence and they walked back closer to the old inn.  
  

Jean was surprisingly covered in sweat as well. "How did it go?" Jean asked on their way back to the old inn and hopefully to the shower.

    
"Quite good and you ?" Marco said satisfied by a day of hard work.

    
"It was surprisingly tough but it felt good helping there. I'm glad we can help in the first place" Jean explained. They greeted the old man and walked up to their room again. "You can take a shower while I'll make us finally something to eat" he offered.  
  

Marco thanked him with a kiss and quickly went to shower, he was feeling all sticky.  
  

Jean smiled and went to prepare something to eat. They still had some lunch boxes from Margaret back so he made something with that. Jean finished after some time and waited for Marco to finish as well. How would it go if he was now with Marco under the shower? Jean grew red again. That still was too much for his heart.  
  

Marco hurried because he was craving for Jean's cooking. And still the water was absolutely freezing. He dried himself up and put some clothes back on. He had washed his shirt too and went out topless to make his shirt dry too. Putting something as sweaty as that wasn't an appealing idea.  
  

Jean blushed when Marco walked out shirtless. He just looked so hot especially with his wet hair. Jean stood up and handed Marco his share. "I'll shower when we have eaten" he quickly stated and started eating.  
  

"Alright" Marco said and took his share before he sat up next to Jean. "Thanks for the meal" he said and started to eat with appetite.  
  

Jean had to stare at Marco's abs for a moment. No matter if this body suited him or not, Marco was fucking hot. Jean continued eating. "What do you wanna do tomorrow? Do you wanna hit the road again or stay some more here?" he asked and looked at him.  
  

Marco thought an instant and replied "After one more good night here we can take the road again. We shouldn't drag the time more".

    
Jean nodded. "Okay. Then let's enjoy our last night here and sleep well" he said and chuckled. He finished and put his plate down. "I'll go take a shower quick. We don't have to do anything so I guess we can relax" he said and grabbed clothes and the towel. He then went into the bathroom to shower.  
  

Marco nodded happily and finished his early-diner. While Jean went to shower, Marco flopped on the sofa and relaxed. He started to think about their discussion yesterday... A big comfy bed, uh ? And warm temperatures. Food. The three parameters reunited together was an extremely rare thing nowadays.  
  

Jean showered and didn't take long. Before the apocalypse he was one of the people who could stay for hours under a hot shower. Here he didn't take longer than maybe five minutes. He dried himself and put on his clothes before he went outside again. He found Marco, kinda lost in thoughts.  
  

Marco took his time noticing Jean while he was thinking and planning some things for their future together. When he saw Jean in front of him a bright smile formed on his face.  
  

"What are you thinking of?" Jean asked smiling and sat next to Marco because he really looked lost in his thoughts.  
  

Marco's cheeks grew pink and he snuggled a bit on Jean. "Hmm, about our future" he replied a bit embarrassed.  
  

Jean put an arm around Marco's shoulders. "Our future ?" he asked curious about Marco's thoughts now. Jean never was thinking of his future he was pretty much living in the presence, trying to survive.  
  

"Yeah... Hypothetically I mean. What could be great when we live together. Like, I don't know, having a dog" Marco explained while staring at Jean's collarbone that was showing up from his shirt.  
  

Jean couldn't hold back a laugh. "Really ? I mean living together and all would be great but a dog? Why specifically a dog ? Why not a cat or I don't know what" he asked and grinned at Marco.  
  

"Well, a cat if you want" Marco replied chuckling. "I said it, it's all suppositions" he replied sticking his tongue out.  
  

Jean chuckled and squeezed Marco. "A future like this would be great. Living together with you was always a dream of mine" he explained and smiled at Marco.  
  

"Aww" Marco hummed and kissed Jean's forehead.  
  

"D-Don't aww at me" Jean said and blushed. He leaned his head against Marco's. "Let's hope that we'll be able to have such a future one day" he murmured.  
  

Those precious reactions... "Yup" Marco said back and placed multiple kisses over Jean.

    
Jean grabbed Marco's face to make him stand still before he leaned in and kissed him, pushing Marco a bit down onto the couch. It was a light kiss but nevertheless as good as ever. Jean had missed Marco's lips even though he had kissed him not long ago.  
  

Marco escaped a chuckle again as Jean pinned him gently the time to kiss. "That's not enough" Marco whispered and leaned in to kiss Jean more.  
  

Jean chuckled and kissed Marco back. Yeah, even for him one little kiss was not enough. He brought a hand up to Marco's cheek and caressed it.  
  

"Why wouldn't we go to bed huh ?" Marco asked occupied by kissing Jean's neck.  
  

"To bed ? We just have afterno- oh" he said. Sometimes he really was dumb. "Okay then" he added and chuckled. Jean wanted to try something. He was strong enough, healthy and Marco wasn't unconscious so he managed to carry him to the bed. He knew Marco wouldn't like it that much but Jean couldn't contain a teasing grin.  
  

Marco chuckled a bit and then tilted his head curious. "What's that grin about, Jean ?" he said and pushed with a fingertip on one of the corner of Jean's lips.  
    
    
"Nothing." Jean grinned even more now. By now Marco should already know that Jean was up to no good. Before Marco could react Jean reached for him and grabbed him. Soon Marco was in his arms. He was heavy, but Jean could carry him just like he thought. His big grin plastered on his face he walked to the bedroom. He was curious about Marco's  reaction.  
  

"Wha- are you serious ?! We're going to fall !" Marco freaked out, suddenly grasping around Jean's neck. Shit, that guy always had strange ideas like this ! Marco tried not to move otherwise they could fall flat on the floor and get hurt but being carried like this was so embarrassing. Oh boy. His face combusted and the way from the sofa to the bed seemed to take an eternity.  
  

"We're not. Trust me" Jean simply said. He would never let Marco fall. Never ever. Jean tried his best not to start laughing because Marco's reaction was as expected: funny and adorable. And he didn't care if Marco was thinking of it as something embarrassing.  
  

"Seriously, just put me down now" Marco begged when they reached the bed.  
  

"Yeah yeah" Jean replied and chuckled. Once close enough to the bed he let Marco down onto the mattress. "Now we know I could carry you like this if you hurt your foot or something like that" Jean said still grinning. He was enjoying this but he feared that he had made Marco mad.  
  

"Jean ! We could have fallen for real, do you know how much I weigh ? Oh god... Come here, now-" he scolded, Marco's way, and took Jean with him on the bed. Seriously. He hugged Jean tight and kept him prisoner of his arms a moment.  
  

"Do you know how much I can lift if I want to?" Jean replied. Jean chuckled when Marco hugged him tight and didn't let go for the moment.  
  

"You never change, huh..." Marco stated looking into Jean's eyes.  
  

"Why should I change" Jean replied and looked up at Marco. "Love you~" he whispered and grinned again.  
  

So precious~ Marco leaned down and kissed Jean's face. "Love you too" he whispered back.  
  

"Can you- release me now? You're hugging too tight" Jean said. Marco was strong too after all. Once freed Jean smiled at Marco again. "So... Why exactly did you want to change from the couch to the bed ?" he asked and grinned. As if he had to ask for the reason.  
  

Marco let go of Jean a bit. He grew a bit shy about voicing the reason. "Just wanted to cuddle properly in bed. It looks like we're good at that, aren’t we ?" he said mentioning implicitly yesterday.  
  

Jean blushed by Marco's words. But well... He was so right. "Yeah I guess so" he agreed and chuckled. "This couch is too small for the two of us anyway if we don't sit on it properly" he added and shrugged his shoulders.  
  

What were they doing talking casually like that when the main purpose was CUDDLES. Marco lifted Jean to place the lighter guy on top of him and slid a hand on Jean's back.  
  

Jean chuckled again and cupped Marco's cheeks as this one lifted him up. He leaned in but instead of kissing Marco's lips he went for his freckled nose.  
  

Marco giggled like, God, was he doing this as much now as back in their old times ?! "You have a thing for my nose, Mr.Kirschtein ?" he asked smiling playfully.  
  

Jean grinned. "I may have Mr. Bodt" he replied and kissed his nose again.  
  

Marco blushed obliviously and smiled brightly. "Alright" he murmured and kissed Jean's nose in return.  
  

Jean blushed slightly and smiled. After Marco had kissed his nose he leaned down once again and kissed him on the lips.  
  

"Hey, Jean. Remember when we were seven and I was still holding your hand on they way to school because I was scared that you would let me behind ?" Marco said when they parted away to breathe.  
  

"Uh yeah I remember that. Why do you come up with that now?" Jean asked and looked at Marco with curiosity in his eyes.  
  

"Well, after all we got separated for a long time later. And now that we're reunited I'll keep an eye on it again. I don't want to get separated from you. I know that it's not the first time that I say it but it's important for me. I won't let go a second time" he said and snuggled closer from Jean.  
  

Jean blushed and smiled happily. "I don't want to get separated from you ever again" Jean replied and kissed Marco again. Those words meant a lot to him.

    
After this little emotional episode, they kissed a lot. Simple kisses but a lot, lot of them.

    
They shared a lot of kisses and Jean felt just great about it. There wasn't this same mood like yesterday but it was okay. They still had the evening to do a little make out session...

    
After a long while kissing to the point that Marco's lips felt more plump than usual, Marco asked to Jean sweetly "Don't you have anything you would chat about ?"  
  

Jean looked up at Marco and raised an eyebrows. "To chat about? Hmm I don't know I don't have that much to say" he said and chuckled. "What about you?" he asked.  
  

Marco chuckled silently. "I don't really have an idea either" he said and kissed Jean quickly again.  
  

"Maybe we can talk a bit of something we remember from the past like the holding-hands-thing you talked about" Jean suggested and looked at Marco before he let himself fall next to him.

    
Marco smiled more and stretched one arm to rest on top of Jean's chest. "Then... What do you remember Jean ?" Marco asked sweetly to his boyfriend.  
  

"What do I remember... God that's so much. For example I remember how we often watched our favorite cartoons until the middle of the night and then my mom or yours got like so mad and then you were so sad because your mom was yelling at you what she never did often" Jean told. "I guess I was a bad influence on the honorable and nice kid you were" he said grinning and squeezed Marco's nose.  
  

Marco laughed lighthearted to this memory. "I had so much fun each time until my mom stormed in ! And oh you were the best influence I could have. You know one day there were guys in last year from middle school and they were bullying Krista you know so I went to help her and couldn't do much actually but when I told them you would come and take care of them they totally ran away. I was quite in a shock! I didn't think it would make them flee so easily but at this moment I realized that you really was a tough one" Marco said chuckling from time to time between two words.  
  

"Well I was used to getting yelled at, my mom always found a reason to do so. But well I wasn't the nicest so I can understand it" Jean said and chuckled. "Oh yeah I remember that too. Well maybe they just ran off because of my grumpy face or... Well we both know since always I was picking fights with others" he said and let out a laughter.

 

"You little badass child" Marco whispered and ruffled Jean's hair.  
  

Jean laughed even more. "God that sounds so weird" he said and giggled. "But yeah I guess we often had moments like I helped you and all. But don't forget that you always were there for me and helped me too. Mentally mostly but you always could see the good in things and could show me this" he explained and smiled at Marco. "Now your turn. What do you remember?"  
  

Hearing Jean laughing like this was pure bliss. Marco nodded, smiled and replied "We were kind of completing each other, hmm. I remember... When I went to camp for the first time, first time with you to add at this. We had such a hard time convincing or parents !"  
  

Jean nodded. "Your mom was even stricter than mine. It even took my mom long until she could convince yours" he added and chuckled again. "But then we finally could camp. And god you were so scared of the noises outside even if we were just in my garden. But well we were little kids" he said. "And then I crafted 'a sword' out of sticks so we could defend ourselves from the noises outside."  
  

Marco laughed some more being remembered that. "You made me do things I would never have done without you, really..." he said as he calmed down.

    
"Like what for example?" Jean asked and wrapped an arm around Marco's shoulders again. Now he was curious.

    
Marco had to search to pick the best examples. "Like playing tricks on Halloween. The first time I cried because I was too scared myself" he told first.

    
Jean had to let out a long 'awww'. "That was so cute! But you were crying a lot in general. But that's okay you had me to protect you" Jean said with a large smile on his face. Just thinking of their childhood was pretty much wonderful. It really was.

    
"Jeean" Marco complained softly and bit down lovingly in Jean's shoulder then kissed it multiple times after. "Not my fault if I was such a crybaby ! I tried hard to get stronger" he said and pouted. "But thank you anyway. You saved me so many times I lost count".

    
Jean chuckled. "Sure. I would save you day and night" he said and smiled at Marco.

    
"So... Jean is officially my hero" Marco replied with a drama voice and puppy eyes then started to laugh gently. In fact it wasn't so false because Jean saved him from death back then in the basement.

    
"Doesn't that sound great? Me, your hero" Jean said and grinned. He really liked that idea.  
  

"If you like it..." Marco replied and quickly kissed Jean's lips.  
  

"Yeah I actually do" he replied still grinning.  
  

"Then, what are you going to do now my hero ?" Marco asked leaning closer.  
  

Jean didn't even know why he was blushing like that but Marco saying it like that sounded so... hot. "I think I'm going to kiss you" he whispered and leaned in.  
  

"I'm fine with you kissing me" Marco whispered even quieter and Jean kissed him. They kissed tenderly a moment.

    
"Good" Jean murmured before his lips got sealed by Marco's. They kissed like this a moment before he backed up again. "You know you calling me 'my hero' sounds so sexy and hot" he murmured in a deep voice and smirked.

 

Marco couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Really ?" he replied arching an eyebrow.  
  

"Actually yeah, it does" Jean said absolutely serious here.  
  

Marco smirked back chuckling. "I'll make sure to remember that" he said and went to kiss Jean again.  
  

Jean grinned. "Good" he said and kissed Marco once again.  
  

Marco got a bit more into the kiss when loud and panicked knocks on the door were heard. Marco sat up as well as Jean and they went to open the door of their small room. The old man was standing here sweating much and was obviously anxious.  
  

Jean nearly jumped when it suddenly knocked on the door fast. "Wha-" Jean said and stood up quickly. They opened the door where the old man was standing, seeming nervous. "What happened?" Jean asked. This face didn't mean any good...  
  

"Help-" the old man chocked, too nervous too explain. Marco walked to him and put both steady hands on the old man's shoulders. "Breath ! What happened ?" Marco asked again. The old man pointed down the stairs and stuttered "Men- downstairs- they asked if there was anybody else in the inn. I d-d-don't want to be killed !"  
    
 


	31. Berserk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ! Drama is on the line again (it never really stops), enjoy !

Jean clenched a fist. The old man seemed totally out of breath. He told them that downstairs were men. "What did they want?" Jean asked as calm as possible. Just before everything had been fine!  
  

"R-robbers ?" the old man choked again. Marco could understand why he went to see them. He couldn't protect his house by himself and seemed to be attached to this old inn.  
  

"We'll help you. Marco, grab your knife" Jean said before he took his gun and a knife. He didn't intend to kill them but just in case they had to defend themselves.  
  

Marco nodded, furrowing his eyebrows. He grabbed his knife and went downstairs slowly with Jean. They had to see how many they were.  
  

The man hid in their room and they walked downstairs and could hear voices of men. "I don't know how many there are, at least 3 or 4 I guess" Jean whispered and looked at Marco.  
  

"It shouldn't take too long if they are just robbers" Marco said looking back at Jean. But amongst the voices, one was familiar to Marco.  
  

Jean nodded. He lowered his gun a bit and walked to the entrance with Marco where they found 6 men.  
  

Marco knew one of them sounded familiar. It actually was the one seconding Marco in the basement and mostly the one fitting the most to be the leader instead of Marco now. Marco didn't know anymore. At the same time he was extremely disappointed and angry. He didn't exactly know why though, because he has been the one teaching these 'techniques' to his men, such as robbery... Marco glanced at Jean to light up his chest when it was starting to freeze again inside. "Be careful, ok ? I'm taking care of the brown-hair guy in the middle" he murmured to him. Marco was worried, it couldn't be denied. He didn't train in a while and these guys might be even stronger now.  
  

Jean didn't remember the faces of these men. He didn't know that they were part of Marco's previous group. He looked at Marco who seemed... not so good. What was wrong all so suddenly? "We're 2 vs 6 do you really want to attack them?" Jean asked. They still were hiding somehow but wouldn't be for long probably.  
  

"Yeah" Marco replied with anger filling his eye. He snapped back and turned to Jean. "We can't exactly let this old man get robbed, he doesn't own anything else than this inn" he said trying to convince himself at the same time.  
  

Jean sighed and nodded. He didn't want to let the old man suffer, he's been kind for giving them a room. "Go first then" he said and looked at Marco, trying to encourage him.

    
Marco nodded and walked closer still hiding. He took a gun from his back pocket and shot two men avoiding their vital parts. Now they were uncovered. Marco threw himself on the brown haired guy, being sure this one didn't have more than a gun. A knife could hurt more than a gun in this situation.

    
Jean watched Marco first for which men he aimed for. One near Jean aimed at Marco but Jean managed to knock this one out with punches. The other one he held the gun against his head. They were doing surprisingly good when Jean didn't think it would be so easy. They probably had the surprise effect. If only Jean knew there was way more drama behind that...

    
The man, Charles was his name, rolled over and pinned Marco down. He squinted at Marco and started to burst into mad laughter. "Here you are... Marco Bodt" he snickered with madness in the eyes. It sent shivers down Marco's spine. And mostly because he saw his previous self in this guy's eyes.  
  

It couldn't be too easy huh? Jean had to watch Marco getting pinned down by that guy. Jean furrowed his eyebrows. This man knew Marco? Jean's face sure showed a mix of despair and simple confusion. He remained silent for now.  
  

Marco was shocked, horrified by his own self reflection in the man. But Charles didn't care about Marco's whereabouts. "You bastard" he cursed and spat on Marco's face. It sure woke up the freckled man. He grabbed Charles by the collar and hit him hard on the floor when he tackled him.   
Marco wished, oh he wished, than Jean wasn't here in the same room. Because what he did next wasn't nice to see. Marco kept the guy pinned down, punched him a few times, put him on his feet to throw him across the room. Charles hit the wall with a loud knocking noise. He tried to fight against Marco but again, Marco turned into a strange beast when fighting (without Jean). He came back and knocked the guy's head against the wall again. Charles was still conscious so Marco repeated the same move three times more.  
  

Jean so wanted to punch that guy when he spat on Marco's face. But he had to keep that other guy under control so he could just watch. Just- what was happening here? Where did they know Marco from? No way- could it be they were members of Marco's previous group?? That would explain it. Before Jean could think any further, he and the guy he had captured watched a horrific scenario. Marco was turning mad, he really seemed pissed. He threw the man around, knocked his head against the wall and such things. Marco wasn't stopping soon. "It's enough!" Jean interfered then, his eyebrows furrowed. "Stop it already!" he added. He never knew the Marco he knew was capable of doing something so cruel.  
  

Now the guy was on the floor, just one more punch and-  
"Jean ?" Marco asked though his voice sounded different from how he was usually saying the other man's name. Marco looked down on the man laying on the floor and smirked satisfied. Oh. But Jean was here. What was happening ? Jean was never here when Marco was fighting men and zombies. Jean wasn't here. Jean wasn't here anymore. Marco's expression turned to a really sad one.  
  

"Please, just stop it" he said. He quickly knocked the guy he captured down and walked towards Marco who was smirking confident about his current doings. What was it with Marco? In less than ten seconds it seemed like he had turned into a complete different person! Jean definitely wasn't a fan of killing others so he was glad he could stop Marco before he actually killed that guy.  
  

Jean's voice again... Marco kneeled in front of the laying body. Why was Jean here ? Haven't the zombies killed Jean years ago ? Marco poked Charles' cheek. He knew that guy... Why did Marco punch him ? Oh yeah. Marco slowly came back to the present after a long moment losing his mind somewhere back in his saddest times.  
  

Could Jean furrow his eyebrows even more? Jean kneeled down next to Marco who seemed kinda lost in thoughts. Jean put a firm hand on his shoulder. "Hey is everything okay?" he asked concerned. Jean couldn't forget that cruel scenario he just saw plus Marco's smirk, but he still was in love with him and of course he was concerned about him !  
  

Expressionless Marco asked as he poked the cheek of the guy again "Did I... do that ?". Marco didn't know anymore, his chest felt as dry as a desert and Jean's hand seemed to burn his cold body.  
  

Jean didn't let go of Marco's shoulder. "Uhm... Yes you did. You went kinda berserk here" he said and looked at him. Something about Marco seemed different again. Jean didn't like it. Why did they have to come exactly here? Why couldn't they just spare them? Jean knew it was really bad for Marco to meet these guys again.

    
"Oh" Marco let out. His gaze stayed on the body that was slowly starting to emerge from unconsciousness. Marco let go. He finally turned to face Jean. What he said after might have been the most disturbing thing to say now. In a tone too strange to get identified Marco said with a small lost smile "You're alive".  
  

Jean took Marco's hand, he seemed kinda in a shock right now. Jean expected Marco to say something like he felt sorry or something like that but instead he stated Jean was alive. "Uh yeah I still am we did pretty good here of course I'm alive !" Jean said and cupped Marco's cheeks. "Is really everything okay?" he asked. How Marco was speaking sounded different too. What was just going on?  
  

"I'm so glad you're safe" Marco murmured, closing his eye as he leaned in Jean's hand. He looked up smiling the same way he was doing back then as a child. "Everything's okay now" he replied. "Well, I feel something itching here" he said touching the back of his head. He felt something hot running down his fingers. Something liquid and hot and red apparently.  
  

"Yeah I'm safe you don't have to worry" Jean said and kissed Marco's forehead. He turned Marco slightly around as this one said something was itching. "You got wounded, I'll take care of that in our room" Jean stated. The old man came down and thanked them. "They won't be unconscious for long, gather your strongest men together to throw them outside" Jean explained before he helped Marco up again. Jean couldn't forget the words of the brown haired guy. 'There you are'. Could it be... That they were searching for Marco ?  
  

Jean was safe, hm. Very slowly things got back into order in Marco's head. Jean helped him stand up and then Marco recognized Charles' body. His eyes widened and started to turn mad again. Why was this guy here ? Like, he wouldn't come so far just to rob some people. He certainly had ulterior motives.  
  

Jean noticed Marco was changing again as he looked at that guy. "Please take over now" Jean said again to the old man before he hurried upstairs with Marco. He closed the door behind him and let Marco sit down onto the couch. "Wait I'll get everything for treating the wound" he said and grabbed his backpack.

 

Marco let Jean take him to the room obediently and sat on the couch. His head was throbbing a bit.  
  

Jean quickly grabbed everything and started treating Marco's wound. He turned his head as careful as possible. "These men are from your previous group, right?" Jean asked. He had to ask, he had to be sure.  
  

Marco took a few seconds to reply "yes".  
  

Jean nodded. So he was right about that. "Is it normal that they randomly pick any building to steal in?" he asked the next question. "Okay I'm disinfecting the wound this might hurt a little" he said.  
  

Marco twitched and had to breath deeper. His head felt very swollen. "Well, if it looks like there are resources like money or food or weapons... But never as far as that" Marco replied.  
  

Jean sighed slightly. "I know you probably don't want to hear that and all but could it be they are searching for you because you just left?" Jean asked looking gently at Marco.  
  

"You think they spent two months looking for me ?" he asked as he turned to Jean. Marco sure wondered what his previous men where doing here but he had left for a while already.

    
"What if they do. I know it sounds stupid but yeah what if they really do?" Jean repeated his words. "I have to stitch that up" he informed Marco before he grabbed needed things out of his backpack.  
  

Marco grimaced. Stitches weren't good to start with. Still he didn't fully believe they could be looking for him. But why not ? Jean was right, there was a possibility that they were actually searching for Marco.  
  

Jean knew Marco didn't like that. He would neither. But Jean was fast and careful with doing that so Marco wasn't in pain for long. After that he covered the wound up with bandages. "Is it okay like that?" he asked.  
  

"It seems... Perfect" Marco said and turned back again to face Jean. "Thank you" he said smiling.  
  

"Okay good. No problem" Jean replied and quickly kissed Marco's nose. But he had to talk about a certain thing. "So... What happened? I mean it's not that normal that you turned mad so suddenly" Jean asked carefully. He didn't want to offend Marco. And they still had to worry that now Marco's group was searching for him.  
  

Marco looked down. He didn't exactly feel like telling Jean now. It was difficult enough to accept that he vented out on Charles what he was actually seeing of himself in the guy.  
  

Jean nodded in silence and looked down as well. "You don't have to tell me. If you feel uncomfortable about this subject, you don't have to tell me okay?" Jean said and cupped Marco's cheek again.  
  

Marco was slightly pissed at himself again. This self-hatred will never leave him, huh ? "How can you still love me with what I became ?" Marco asked dangerously confused, worried and insecure at the moment.  
  

Jean raised his eyebrows in surprise, he didn't expect this question. And he wasn't sure how to explain it to Marco. "Uhm well... It doesn't matter to me what you've done and what you thought was okay. I know in there you're still the Marco before the apocalypse, the one I love so much. And it's just normal that people change because of something like this. So it's understandable and I won't stop loving you because you may went the wrong way because you kinda were forced to under the apocalyptic circumstances" he explained then looked up.  
  

Ooh... Yeah, Marco could understand what Jean meant and it actually was what he longed to hear. "Thank you then Jean" he said and leaned closer. He rested his head comfortably on Jean's chest. Marco already felt better now but still very shaken up.  
    
"Why are you thanking me ?" Jean asked and rubbed Marco's back slightly when he rested his head on Jean's chest. Jean still was thinking about the fact Marco could be searched for... If so, they couldn't stay here much longer.  
  

"A lot of things actually" Marco replied and snuggled closer again. He kind of needed it at the moment.  
  

"Hm" Jean simply replied. He wrapped his arms around Marco now and held him like this in his arms for a while. "Are you mad at me for stopping you back there?" Jean then asked out of the blue.  
  

"What ? Of course I'm not !" Marco said fast as he looked up to Jean. He prevented Marco from adding someone to his men-killed list. There shouldn't be a list of it in the first place.  
  

"Okay good" Jean replied. He just wanted to be sure. "We can't stay for long here probably. We'll leave tomorrow okay?" Jean suggested.  
  

"Ok" Marco said and nodded. It was late now. "I'm tired... Are you tired ?" Marco asked after a long sigh.  
    
"A little bit. We can lay down if you want" Jean replied. Everything has been like so good but just a moment after they were interrupted like this. "Uhm maybe you should wash your hands first" he added quietly. Marco's hands were bloody, it wasn't sure whose blood it was.  
  

"Oh ? Yeah sure" Marco said and stood up a bit too fast which made him wobble on the spot.  
  

"Hey hey keep it calm" Jean said and helped Marco to stand properly. "Do you need help ?" Jean asked. It wouldn't do any good if Marco kissed the floor because he was exhausted.  
  

"I, I think it'll be okay" Marco replied slightly embarrassed. He managed to go and wash his hand, his face too by the way and came back to Jean.  
  

"Okay" Jean said and backed up. He let Marco go to the bathroom and laid down onto the bed, his arms behind his head. He sighed. What if today wasn't the last time they would come to get Marco whysoever? Marco seemed like a different person when he was around them. He wasn't Marco then.  
  

Jean seemed to be thinking hard... Marco's heart twitched bad. He felt so guilty. Standing in the door way of the bedroom he waited for a sign from Jean. Marco didn't want to disturb Jean.  
  

Jean blinked a few times and then looked at Marco. "Oh you finished. Come here" Jean said and smiled at Marco, his arms wide open.  
  

Oh. Marco blushed the slightest and walked closer. He thanked any god up there and laid between Jean's open arms, curling up on himself.  
  

Once Marco was next to him, Jean wrapped his arms around Marco again. He kissed his forehead and looked at Marco. No matter if Marco was capable of doing something like just before, he still was the one Jean loved the most. It didn't change anything.  
  

Marco closed his eye and focused on breathing in time with Jean. It was relaxing and forced him to focus on something easy for now.

 

"If you're tired you should try to sleep" Jean murmured and kept Marco against his chest. "We can leave tomorrow midday so you can sleep in then" he added. Jean hoped Marco wouldn't have much nightmares this night.  
    
Marco nodded because he knew it was the best idea. But sleep was hard to find. Marco wished things could be easier, he wished that apocalypse would stop now, he wished for a lot of things.  
    
"Then sleep. And wake me when you need to okay?" Jean stated and pulled Marco as close as possible to him. He caressed his hair slowly and hoped Marco could fall asleep soon.  
  

"Blanket" Marco whispered and rumbled around to cover his lover and himself with the blanket. "Thank you. Love you" Marco said a last time and so close to Jean again his mind blacked out to sleep.  
  

"Oh yeah sure" Jean said and chuckled. He nearly forgot it. Quickly he put a blanket over both of them. "Love you too" Jean whispered back. Once Marco was asleep Jean was even more thinking about this situation. But at some point he grew tired as well and fell asleep.  
    
Of course Marco would wake up from horrific nightmares. It was fate or something ? Karma ? Maybe. In his dream his whole group found them and tied them up both. While Marco was chained up too tight, they placed Jean in front of him and started to torture his oh so precious love. Marco couldn't take it, he couldn't take it and even in his dream he went unbelievably mad again. He screamed so loud and for so long trying to fight his own mind. He couldn't do it. Pressing his head between his hands he tried to save Jean but he was chained.

 

Jean woke up suddenly from Marco’s screams. He helped him to sit up and hugged him tight. “Marco ! It’s over, it’s a nightmare” he said.

 

Marco hugged Jean back way too tight. But he had to anchor to something or in this case, someone. "Jean...Jean- Jean" he repeated obviously not calming down. The images were still storming in his head.

 

Jean sighed. Why had Marco to go through this? He kept Marco tight in his arms and rubbed his back again. "I'm here. It's fine" he said.  
  

It took him a while to finally calm down. When he did, they laid down again but Marco was scared to return to sleep. All he wanted to see was Jean being safe in his arms.  
  

"I'm here" Jean repeated and didn't let go of Marco once. "Do you want to talk about it or go back to sleep?" Jean asked and caressed Marco's nape a bit.  
  

"I just want to keep you close and safe" Marco said and his voice sounded so broken... But he had to sleep if they wanted to go tomorrow.  
  

Oh god Marco sounded like so sad... "I am close to you and I am safe" he said and nodded. "I don't know what you dreamt about but I'm okay, okay?"  
  

"Because of me..." Marco started but a whimper got here and he just hugged Jean a bit more and started to place kisses everywhere reachable with his lips on Jean's body without letting go.  
  

Jean blushed in surprise when Marco started placing kisses everywhere. But he smiled and caressed Marco's hair.  
  

Marco slowly went up to kiss Jean closer to his lips. Marco washed away the nightmare by covering Jean with love and it seemed to work.  
  

Jean lifted up Marco's chin and kissed him softly. Hopefully Marco felt better now.  
  

How Jean was doing this ? He was a sort of magician, right ? Another small whimper got Marco but he just felt relieved. They parted a bit and Marco took deep breaths. He felt better.  
  

Jean really hoped Marco would feel better soon. After some time they parted and it seemed like he finally calmed completely down. "Try to sleep, we need the energy" he whispered and pulled Marco against his chest again.  
  

"Thank you" Marco murmured as he snuggled in Jean's chest again. Marco was tensed up but he tried his best to relax and find sleep again. In the end he only rested for the rest of the night but didn't really sleep. He liked to look at Jean, kiss his chest a bit and caress his back, then Marco closed his eyes again, and it went on till morning.

    
At some point Jean fell asleep and hoped Marco could sleep too. At least Marco wasn't screaming anymore so Jean slept until morning.  
  

Marco waited for Jean to wake up, caressing his hair gently.  
  

Jean woke up after some time and found Marco already awake. "Good morning. Could you sleep?" he asked.  
  

"Good morning" Marco said back and let a light kiss on Jean's cheek. "No but I could rest. That's okay" he replied returning to caress Jean's hair.  
  

Jean sighed slightly. "You really should have slept. Well, at least you rested, that's a good thing. Do you still feel a bit better?" Jean asked and looked at him.  
  

"Yes, don't worry" Marco replied calmly.  
  

"Okay good" Jean replied and smiled at Marco. He ran a hand through Marco's hair and kissed his forehead.  
  

"When are we heading now ?" Marco asked softly. They had to go but they certainly won't reach the big city before a few days.  
  

"I don't know" Jean replied honestly. "I don't even know if we can go the normal route, what if they were following us all along? We'll just hit the road and then see what to do I guess" Jean said and sighed slightly. How should he know?  
  

Marco nodded. "Okay" he replied and sat up. They had to go today but Marco liked to think that his men weren't searching for him. He still wasn't exactly sure of how he 'turned berserk' yesterday but what if anything grave were to happen in the future ? If anything happened to Jean, Marco's mind wouldn't follow. He could do a massacre of the ones laying a finger on Jean... And he could even let his life in it. It was a scary thought to turn berserk to the point of losing his life to it.  
  

Jean sat up as well and leaned against Marco's back. "Let us stay in bed five minutes longer, I just woke up" Jean murmured and rested his head onto Marco's shoulder. Marco seemed lost in thoughts again. This incident yesterday would bother Marco for some time now, that was for sure.  
  

Marco's lips formed a small gentle smile. "Alright" he replied and turned to take Jean in his arms as they laid down in the bed again.  
  

Jean snuggled comfortable against Marco as this one took him in his arms. "Love you" he whispered and stayed like this for a bit longer.  
    
"I love you too" Marco said and kissed Jean's forehead. But it sounded different, Marco was still recovering his spirit from yesterday and it took so long to Jean to make the ice melt in Marco's chest and here came Charles and Marco felt empty again.  
  

Of course Jean could notice Marco's way of speaking was a bit different than usual. But it was obvious why so Jean wouldn't complain. Jean liked it in Marco's arms as much as he liked having Marco in his arms. Either way they were close and it just felt and did good to Jean.  
  

Marco kept Jean close to his chest. It had to be like this, Marco wouldn't let anyone separate them. He focused on just Jean, Jean his boyfriend, his lover, his beloved Jean and the time they spent together. It helped Marco to get a grip on things.  
  

Jean closed his eyes for a second until he was finally awake. They had to get up at some point so he sat up. "We should pack our things, eat something and then go on. And we should thank the old man" he said and stretched himself.  
  

"Maybe we could also find something to eat around here, don't you think ?" Marco asked as Jean stretched himself. Marco stood up and went to prepare their packages.

    
"Yeah. We could ask the man maybe he has something we could bring with us" Jean replied and nodded. He stood up and started gathering all his things. "Goodbye working shower" Jean said and sighed dramatically before he chuckled.  
  

Marco walked closer, attracted by Jean's chuckling. He wrapped his arms around the other man and rested his head on his shoulder. Jean... his Jean.  
  

Jean smiled slightly and put his arms around his boyfriend as well. "Why so cuddly?" Jean asked and chuckled again. They shouldn't take too much time here.  
  

"I need you close to me. They can't take you away from me" Marco said. Finally he voiced his worries. Marco hugged Jean a little more before he backed up.  
  

Jean sighed slightly and kissed Marco's nose. "They can't and they won't. As you said once, no one can capture or lock me away for long. I'll always find a way to get back to you - if I got caught in the first place which won't happen okay" he explained and kept Marco in his arms.  
  

Marco's heart throbbed at Jean's words. At least he was restarting to feel again. "Okay" he replied and he nodded at the same time. Yeah, Jean was strong, Marco should never forget that.  
  

"Okay, we probably should go now I guess. Let's ask the old man if he has something to eat for us" Jean said and smiled. He wondered where Marco's previous men were now. But he couldn't care less about what happened to them.  
  

Marco nodded and let go of Jean. He looked around the room to see if they forgot anything and took his bag.  
  

"ready to go?" Jean asked and took Marco's hand in his, smiling at him.  
  

Marco squeezed Jean's hand in his and nodded. They walked downstairs where the old man was cleaning around the room.  
  

The room they were fighting in seemed clean... But well the old man was cleaning just now. "Uhm we will hit the road again" Jean announced.  
  

The old man turned around and walked closer to them. "Take good care of you boys, then. I could not thank you enough for your help yesterday" he said and patted Jean's shoulder.

 

Jean scratched his neck. "Uh sure you got us this room so why shouldn't we help you. Uhm could we bring something to eat with us?" he asked as politely as possible. The old man nodded and went to get them something.  
  

"He really is a respectable man" Marco said smiling slightly. He offered them a room after all and the luxe of showering and now he would get them food.  
  

"He is indeed. It was just right to help him" Jean replied and nodded in agreement. The man came back with food. It wasn't that much, but enough for the day. "Thank you" Jean said.  
  

"Thank you" Marco said too. They said goodbyes and then Jean and Marco walked out of the village. Marco followed because now he didn't really now where they should go.  
  

Jean didn't know either were to go. They just walked out of the village heading for the big city. Jean was even more careful now if it was true that Marco was tracked down.  
  

Marco hoped they wouldn't have problems coming their way, since he wasn't full of energy today. He kept Jean's hand in his for a long time, their fingers intertwined together as they walked.


	32. What a mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS INTENSE !   
> And oh please, I hope you keep reading and enjoying the story although I don't manage to update often (at all, let's be real).  
> Lots of love. Enjoy ! (Sorry for the cliffhanger that is coming)

Jean was happy about the fact that they were walking around holding hands. But still they had to be careful. But now it wasn't that relaxing to walk around, Jean was waaay more careful now and more tensed.  
  

Marco would have loved to be confident now and that he could reassure Jean but he was just as tensed as him. They didn't know what could happen.  
  

They walked like this for a while. It was quiet around them but that didn't help that much. "Can you think of a reason why they would search for you?" Jean started then. They had to talk about it.  
  

Marco thought about it but he couldn’t find a real good reason. "It's not like I was keeping codes or anything so... Apart from revenge- I can't think of anything" he replied.  
  

Jean replied with a simple "Hmm" and ran a hand through his hair. "Whatever it is, they won't get you. Not when I'm here" Jean said and crossed his arms. He grinned at Marco before his face turned serious again. "Our shelter have to be even more hidden now, even safer" he said.  
  

Marco chuckled a bit. Jean's reply actually was adorably endearing. Marco could just hug him right now. "Because you're my hero" Marco said and winked with a smile. "Yeah" he said too as he nodded.  
  

Jean blushed immediately. So Marco was serious about that 'my hero thing'? "I could just squeeze you to death now. But I like you more alive" he said and chuckled. "Should we search for a shelter soon?" he then asked.  
  

Marco chuckled again. But then he looked around. "We should walk a bit more first" he said. They had walked through the day, there wasn't much population around. They had quickly past a few abandoned shelters but nobody could tell if there was anyone inside. The good part was that they didn't encounter more than two zombies.  
  

"okay" Jean replied and looked at Marco. They walked past some abandoned shelters but they probably couldn't use even a little shack, that was too obvious, it was easier to find them in a shelter like this than in a cave.  
  

After a while Marco spotted a sort of deformation of the ground that was forming something that could make a shelter. They would have a hard time finding a cave around here anyway...  
  

Marco stopped after some time and it seemed like he had found something. "What is it?" Jean asked and looked at him.  
  

He pointed at what he found. "Do you think it could do ?" Marco asked as he scratched his neck.

    
Jean looked at Marco then at the place he pointed at. "I think so. It's not like we can find anything better today anyway" he said and shrugged his shoulders.  
  

"Alright. Then let's hunt something if we can since it's not dark yet" Marco proposed.  
  

Jean nodded. "Yeah let's do that" he said. So they went hunting and actually could find something good.  
  

Marco prepared a fire and Jean started to cook their meat on it. They sat close to one another. It was a calm evening, not too cold. Though Jean and Marco were both cautious of every sound around.  
  

Marco let his head rest on Jean's shoulder while it cooked. It was kind of relaxing like this so Jean rested his head against Marco's. This was one of the calmest nights they had. Nobody was badly injured, it wasn't too cold and they had meat. So everything should be fine. But every sound Jean heard outside made him grow nervous because there were actually people outside in this world who wanted to get his Marco.  
  

Marco slid a hand on Jean's back and rubbed large circles over it. "It'll be ok, huh ?" he said softly.

    
"Yeah, sure. You'll be fine. No way I'll let they have you with them again" Jean said and smiled at Marco. But he really was worried, what if Marco didn't go berserk back then and they would have captured him for real?  
  

"I want you to stay safe first of all" Marco stated and kissed Jean quickly as he cupped his cheek.

    
Jean smiled into this short but wonderful kiss. "I know and I want the same for you. But if it means I can protect YOU, I have no problem with risking something. As long as I can keep you safe" Jean stated. He ever thought like this. Especially when they were younger and Marco has been way more shy and insecure Jean has had an overprotective sense. He still had today.

    
"Jean we won't go anywhere if we both think like this !" Marco said chuckling a little. "But thank you" he added genuine.  
  

Jean chuckled. Yeah they were pretty much thinking the same here. "I know but come on, no one could just watch when you or me are in danger" he said. The meat was finished soon and they could finally eat.  
  

"Of course that's an impossible doing !" Marco replied and let a kiss on Jean's cheek.  
As always the food Jean cooked tasted great. When Marco finished he laid down their camping mattresses and the blanket.

    
Jean let out another chuckle. They ate quickly and Marco already laid down onto his mattress. Jean continued sitting at the fire, he wasn't tired yet. And too much was going through his mind anyway.

    
Since Jean stayed around the fire, Marco came to cuddle as he sat close and against Jean's back.

    
Jean turned his head when Marco cuddled himself against his back. He chuckled. "Aren't you tired yet?" he asked.  
  

"It's okay" Marco said. It was a bit of his leitmotif today.  
  

"Then come here" Jean said and dragged Marco next him so he could put an arm around his shoulder.  
  

"A~lright" Marco hummed and snuggled on Jean from his side now.  
  

Jean chuckled because of Marco's adorable reaction. Jean pulled him close and hid his face in Marco's neck.  
  

Marco let out and appreciative small moan as Jean did that. It was just really good to be with Jean. And maybe Marco was actually tired because he kinda was acting like a baby now.  
  

Jean was surprised about Marco's little moan but he smiled and placed one little kiss on Marco's skin. They stayed like this a moment more. "I'm not tired yet but if you want we can lay down now" he murmured.  
  

Marco nodded and they went to lie down. It was comfy and Marco managed to relax.  
  

Jean laid down with Marco. He feared that Marco would have terrible nightmares again, even more than Jean. So he put his arms around him again, trying to give him a feeling of safety and comfort.  
  

Placing his palms on Jean's chest, Marco looked up and asked "What does the house of your dreams look like, Jean ?". Ok Marco may be very tired in fact as he started to ask unexpected questions.

    
Jean arched his eyebrows in surprise. "Uh I never thought of it. I don't know uhm it doesn't have to be big. Maybe a little comfy house somewhere in the country where it's more peacefully. Living in the city is great too but not in times like these" he replied and nodded. "What about you then?"  
  

Marco nodded at what Jean said, smiling. "Me ? Hum, a house that lets a lot of light in. Big enough to live with the person I love the most -and a family. And a dog. The countryside is good, you're right on that point" he replied.  
  

"What is it with you and a dog" Jean said and chuckled. "But that description suits you pretty good" he said and grinned at Marco.  
  

"Because... Please don't hit me ! I always found dogs' character quite similar with your personality. They have qualities like fidelity, bravery, strength, frankness and actually have a lot of love to offer" Marco replied hiding his face in Jean's chest. He just confessed something he had thought for a long long time.  
  

Instead of hitting Marco (which Jean would never do seriously) he let out laughter. "It's funny that you compare me with a dog" he said and chuckled. "But I guess I have more to offer than a dog ?" he asked and grinned. "But well if we somehow find a dog I have no problem with it then. Animals are good in general" he said and smiled.  
  

Aw Jean's laughter was a bliss. Marco nodded delighted. He might just sleep now because he was really acting like a child.  
    
    
Jean got quiet again. Marco really wanted to sleep at least he looked like it. "Try to sleep now" he murmured and caressed Marco's cheek with one of his fingers.

 

Marco hummed a yes and moved closer to get comfy in Jean's arms. He closed his eyes and murmured an "I love you" that sounded way better than this morning....  
  

"I love you" Jean repeated Marco's words in a whisper and closed his eyes. He couldn't sleep just yet, he listened to the sounds outside.  
  

Marco fell asleep on those words and slept for two good hours which wasn't so bad. But of course he woke up, he wasn't particularly having a nightmare, he just couldn't sleep because he was too scared to have his Jean snatched away from him. Jean, his only love. Marco opened his eye and squeezed Jean a bit in his arms as he place a kiss on his chest.

    
Jean was still awake when Marco woke up again even though he nearly fell asleep. He felt Marco squeezing him a bit. "Why did you wake up this time?" Jean asked whispering. Marco didn't seem like he had a nightmare.  
  

"'Making sure" he mumbled as a reply. Marco snuggled up to kiss Jean's lips.  
  

"Making sure what ?" Jean asked but he already got cut up by Marco's lips on his. He smiled as they parted again.  
  

"That they can't get you" Marco whispered back as he backed up a bit. And made his lips met with Jean's again.  
  

'That they can't get him'. Marco seemed as tensed as Jean about this situation. But Marco close to him made Jean feel better.  
  

They sort of dazed off until morning, not quite sleeping. They were both tired but had to hit the road again. It was like fleeing without knowing what they were actually fleeing from.  
  

They didn't really sleep that much. They rested until morning. They were just totally tensed. Jean was as tired as Marco but they had to go on.  
  

Marco sat up first and went to see outside. Yesterday that was so sunny, today was grey and it was starting to snow.  
  

Jean sat up just after Marco looked outside. It was early in the morning but so peaceful. Jean yawned and ran a hand through his messy hair. He felt that he lacked sleep... But what should he do? It's not like he could change that.  
  

Marco went to sit next to Jean again and lovingly wrapped his arms around him. "It's snowing outside... But we should still go and walk towards the big city. What do you think ?" he said. The sky wasn't clear today so they risked to get into a snow storm in the day.  
  

Jean leaned against Marco and sighed. Snow wasn't good. "I don't know. I mean, we should go if someone is after you but we'd have to risk the snow turning into a storm or at least getting heavier" he said. "Normally I'd say we stay but now..."  
  

"Let's go and search for a better shelter then. This one isn't good enough to shelter us from a storm or even people. Maybe there is still some caves around here..." Marco said, although he wasn't so sure about finding a good shelter around here.  
  

Jean nodded and thought about it. There was a big risk but had they any other chance ? "Okay we'll search for a better one" he said.  
  

"We should hurry since it's still ok outside, alright ?" Marco asked brushing Jean's hair back with a hand.

 

"Yeah we should" he said and stood up. They gathered their things together and ate something quick before they went outside. It still was snowing.

    
They walked a long time, tired... And the snow was falling harder by the hour.  
  

"We have to find a cave or something soon" Jean said once the snow fell down on earth faster and heavier. They would walk in a storm otherwise.  
  

Marco nodded. But after half an hour he hasn't seen anything like a shelter. "Jean... Did you spot anything ?" he asked when their visibility started to be altered by the snow.  
  

"No" he said. It got so cold because of the freezing wind. They had to find something pretty fast and now. "Look for anything !" he ordered and looked around himself. Somewhere there had to be a shelter.  
  

Marco felt like in a desert, there was nothing around to protect them from the snow. "Here ! This way !" they heard someone yell. It seemed like someone afar was calling to them.  
  

Jean looked in the distance as they heard somebody yell. Obviously a stranger and they could trust no one these days. But it was fucking freezing here. "We have to go there's no other choice" he said and then they walked towards the someone.  
  

"Yeah" Marco agreed. He stayed on guard, they didn't know who could that be. It seemed to be a young man just like them. "Yes, come this way !" the man called out again. Jean and Marco quickly closed the distance with the guy.  
  

It wasn't easy to walk just like that through the storm but they managed to get close quickly. Hopefully they were lucky and could find some warm place for the night !  
  

They didn't have time to grow to know each other and everything with the storm coming. The man brought them into a real house, one of these houses that was so rare to see now. They went inside and Marco was surprised by the warm temperature here and the large living space of the room...

    
They got guided to a house. Inside it was surprisingly warm! They were pretty lucky. Jean sighed in relief as the warmth wrapped around him. They had too much luck...  
  

As Marco thought their luck finally turned, a whole group of tall and built guys walked in the same room as them. Marco glanced extremely confused at the man who walked them here. This shitty guy was smirking ! Marco understood in a second what was happening here. Recruiting. Well more in the way Marco used to do it himself in the past.  
  

Jean furrowed his eyebrows and stepped back a bit as a whole group came towards them. According to Marco's face it was nothing good. Shit, what should they do now? They couldn't fight a whole group all by themselves !  
  

"Don't try anything reckless" Marco whispered to Jean. The other men started to talk in the group.   
"If it isn't the great Marco Bodt ! What are you doing with a shrimp like this guy ?" One of them declared. He wasn't the tallest nor the biggest but he had killer eyes. "Tch'" Marco let out as he clenched his teeth. If he had known it would turn like this...  
  

Jean nodded in silence. The group was definitely not friendly. They seemed to know Marco so were they members of his previous group ? Jean didn't know. He wanted to punch that guy for his comment because he was just some centimeters smaller than Marco, he wasn't a shrimp! But well that man seemed like two meters high. Jean didn't punch him though he would stay as calm as possible at this moment.  
  

"What do you want ?" Marco asked loud. In his leader-kind of voice. Some of them started to laugh. Others were just standing still. Nobody replied.  
  

It was so hard for Jean to not just beat everyone up of this group. Marco asked for their reasons but apparently they weren't giving an answer. Jean was thinking nervously of a plan to flee, but outside was the storm. They were kinda trapped now. Why did he decide to follow the yell in the first place! It was his fault that now they were in danger.  
  

The man who spoke before stepped close and faced Marco. He was taller than him... Marco didn't like that. His killer eyes stared at his eyepatch. This bastard. "What ? What do you want ?" Marco said harsh. The man smirked. "What I want is you dead. You don't remember ? Dare to tell me you don't remember ! You killed my wife ! Because of you I couldn't save her and now she's dead !" he stormed.  
  

Jean just watched what was happening. Marco seemed to know them or at least they knew Marco and well Jean didn't want to mess things up. But his body tensed up when the man finally said what he wanted. The others were silent, just the tall guy spoke.  
  

Marco actually didn't remember. He was conscious now of the frightful things he had done in the past. So that was why this guy was staring at him like that...  
Marco glanced worried at Jean and it might have been his worst mistake ever. Because the man noticed the way Marco was looking at Jean and Jean was looking at Marco. "Grab the shrimp !" the man ordered to his guys.  
  

It got harder and harder for Jean not to speak. His eyes widened slightly when the guy ordered his group to grab HIM. Why him?? Well, Jean would volunteer if it meant Marco would be sparred but why him now? Of course Jean wasn't fine with it and did his best to fight them, but he could just knock one down before he himself got knocked out from behind.

    
Marco growled. Nobody could touch HIS Jean !  
Marco jumped on the bastard in front of him that was giving the orders and punched him, punched him again. This bastard ...laughed ! He was fucking laughing ! Marco got madder and went to beat the crap out of him but as he went for it he was suddenly grabbed from behind and things happened too quick after this. He got thrown in a cell after getting punched back by Bastard number-one-on-earth. Where was Jean ? Where did they bring him to ?

 

Jean got knocked out and landed on the floor. He didn't saw Marco fighting nor him getting caught. They had failed. But somehow Jean thought these weren't the guys searching for Marco. They had other problems with him but they weren't those who searched for him. Jean got dragged to a cell just like Marco. He woke up, chains around his arms and legs. He had a headache and looked around all dizzy. Where was Marco ?  
It took Jean some time but soon he could think clear again. Okay. They had been in the snow storm outside, then somebody had offered them help and it turned out it was a group hating Marco. And then he got knocked out. What just happened after that ? He saw at the corner of his eye two men guarding the cell. Dammit how should he flee if he got watched over like this ?  
  

The guy ordered things around. Marco couldn't hear what was said though he tried his best. The minute after, Marco was brought harshly to another room, darker and colder. He fought, oh yes he fought and defended himself but they just were too many. They chained Marco and suspended him by the wrist. Damn fuckers... Marco was slowly growing insane. He snapped completely the instant he saw the other men bring inside a wild Jean. But Marco didn't have time to be proud of his lover defending himself so well, that the man walked back to Marco. So close to him the man murmured with madness in his eyes, but never as much as Marco bore, "I'll make you feel the same pain that I felt". Marco didn't understand till the group threw Jean enchained on the floor. A first one laid his hand on Jean. He kicked him violently in the back. Marco groaned and yelled of rage. He tried to romp the chains and soon  his wrists started to bleed as Jean took some punches more. It was too much, just like his dream. They were living a nightmare.  
  

Jean could only 'rest' for five more minutes before both of the guards opened the cell and dragged him outside. Against his will of course. Jean was punching and kicking and even tried to bite so he could get free and somehow find Marco and flee, but they were two and Jean still was a bit weak because of the storm and everything. He got brought into a room where Marco was. Good, it didn't seem like they had harmed Marco. They better not. Jean realized he couldn't hesitate. They pushed him onto the floor. Jean stared at them intensely and at least the two guys who brought him here were backing up a bit. But that didn't spare Jean. He had a feeling of what was coming now. He clenched his teeth and contained a groan as he got kicked in the back. They started punching him. But why? What was the sense in this?  
  

By some time, Marco hit the ground, his own blood covering his arms and up to his shoulders. His body was already exhausted but his mind was telling him otherwise. Marco wobbled but stood up to get to Jean. Unluckily the leader of this shitty group cracked into a mad laugh. "What a strong spirit, Bodt ! Get him !" he said then ordered to his men.  
  

Jean got punched again and his nose was already bleeding. When they were going to Marco, Jean tried to stood up but he couldn't. "Leave him alone !" Jean said and growled. No way they would harm Marco.  
  

Marco noticed Jean couldn't stand. That men must have kicked his body too hard. Fuck.   
Marco remembered. Ok maybe a bit too late, but he had a small knife in his right boot. Though the pain in his wrists could have made him scream to death, Marco grasped his knife and started with the men that were about to jump on him. Who would care now if he was killing them or not ? Jean was in danger ! Fighting the three first guys, he knocked them down. Two others came and he had to get rid of them before he could join Jean. Jean who was still getting beaten at the moment. It made Marco so pissed and mad. He finally changed his objective and jumped on the 'leader'. Maybe too quick because only at the last moment Marco saw the guy was pointing a gun towards him. He dodged it the best he could but the bullet went through his left hip. This fucker, Marco didn't miss him. He went for the throat and sliced.  
  

Just after Jean tried to stand up again he got kicked in his leg. He trembled and fell down, head first. He was so mad now... But he couldn't stand up and still got beaten up. He slowly got unconscious, he got some pretty bad punches so he saw everything in a blur.  
  

Jean fell. Something snapped again again in Marco and he felt like his heart got snatched violently from his chest. Marco was bleeding everywhere but he obviously didn't care. He grabbed the gun of the man laying dead on the floor and shot the ones around Jean. He grabbed refills in the man pocket and the others around got the same treatment. Jean wasn't moving as Marco was doing a real massacre. Marco felt his cheek was humid. He touched to see if he was bleeding but it wasn't blood. Apparently the rest of the men had fled when their leader hit the ground. Marco fell on his knees exhausted and crawled to Jean who was laying unconscious on the floor. Marco took his lover's unmoving body in his arms and then put Jean's head to rest on his lap.

 

Jean grew unconscious pretty fast. He already was on the floor anyway. Blood was spreading everywhere but Jean didn't even notice it anymore.  
  

"Jean… Jean c'mon wake up, my love" Marco whispered pleading. Marco felt his own head spinning after loosing a whole puddle of blood. He cut the bottom of his shirt and wrapped his wrists one by one with it. It was hurting so much. Marco winced as he tightened the improvised bandages. With another cut part of his shirt, he tried to do something about his bleeding hip. It was so fucking impossible to do anything about this wound here. At least the bullet had gone through and wasn't stuck in Marco.


	33. Injured but alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi !  
> After months, I finally post a new chapter...  
> Our boys are hurt but life goes on, they enjoy a little break in this chapter.

Jean took his time to regain consciousness. First, he just heard someone wincing. His surroundings got clearer and he opened his eyes slowly. Still dizzy he turned his head. Why was everything hurting so much? What happened? God, he had such a headache...  
   
   
"Jean-" Marco said out of breath due to the pain and hugged Jean carefully. "You okay, love ?" he asked.  
   
   
Jean groaned when Marco hugged him because it hurt. "Ye- I- fi-" he tried to say he was fine but he had been kicked against his neck. It was swollen so he couldn't talk properly. Jean's head wasn't laying on the floor. Maybe on Marco. He closed his eyes again. He could take torture, more than most people but it still was painful.  
   
   
"Good" Marco let out and his face melted with relief. He knew tears were running on it for a while and he didn't stop them. Having his lover getting this as a punishment of his own previous doings... Marco could really hate himself. But they went through it. It had been extremely painful and it would be for a while. "Jean let's try to find a bed, the floor here is freezing. I'll help you to stand" he said quietly. Marco wasn't so stable on his own feet but he had to be strong a little bit more.  
   
   
Jean opened his eyes again when he heard Marco's voice. With Marco's help he managed to stand up. But Marco didn't seem fine as well. Jean pointed at Marco's hip and made a move like he was sewing something.  
   
   
"Huh ? Yeah... We'll do that later" he said with a sympathetic smile. Upstairs in the house Marco opened a door where he found a very large couch. Well, it would do. He had started to tremble climbing the stairs, he had to sit very soon. He let Jean lay down on the couch and sat to replace Jean's head on his lap.  
   
   
Jean tried his best not to be a burden to Marco while they were walking upstairs. It was extremely difficult for both of them. Once laying down he could relax a bit. Why did this happen... Why did they get so unlucky all so sudden?  
   
   
Marco let time for Jean to recover. But in the end, he blacked out in his turn for a good hour. He woke up feeling all sticky. He had bled more and now it was drying on his skin. He basically was drenched in his own blood.  
   
   
Because Jean's head was laying on Marco's lap, his hair got red from blood too. Jean didn't know how long he stayed like this but he had his eyes closed the whole time. Still everything was aching but he actually could sit up slowly. His eyes widened when he saw Marco drenched in blood. He was losing too much blood. Jean looked around, trying to find anything he could help Marco with.  
   
   
Marco tightened the bandages again but it just wouldn't stop bleeding. Their bags must have stayed downstairs by chance. "Don't- move from here, I'm back in two seconds" he said and painfully stood. Marco walked downstairs and yes, they could consider themselves lucky that the group didn't bother to throw their things away. Marco walked upstairs with even more difficulties. He put the bags down, sweating much and sat down again. The room was spinning around him.  
   
   
Jean watched Marco go downstairs again. How could he even walk with all this blood loss? Marco came back with their things. Jean helped Marco sit down even though his body was aching. The most important thing now was to stop Marco's bleeding. Jean grabbed the things he needed with a groan and put them next to him. He wrapped up Marco's shirt and leaded Marco's hand to it so he'd hold it up. Jean had to so he pulled down Marco's pants on the side slightly. He held them with one hand while he grabbed something and pressed it onto the bleeding wound. Why did every movement hurt so much?  
   
   
Marco grimaced constantly but treating it was necessary. "Thank you" Marco voiced to Jean because his Jean had it so hard and now he was focusing hard to treat Marco's wound.  
   
   
Jean looked up at Marco. "No probl-em" he said. Even speaking hurt. Those bastards... By the way, what happened to them? Did they flee? Did Marco kill them? Once Jean stopped the bleeding, he disinfected the wound. It seemed like the bullet went through... So same for the back. "T-urn" he voiced.  
   
   
Marco nodded and turned. Slowly because it hurt.  
   
   
Once Marco had turned, Jean pulled Marco's pants down a bit again. He blushed slightly. A bit lower and- god he was injured, Marco was shot in the hip, what was he thinking! Jean concentrated on the wound. On the back it was bleeding just a bit. Good. But Marco had lost too much blood in general... Jean grabbed his backpack again and started stitching up the wound as fast as it was possible for him.  
   
   
Marco had it even harder to stand the stitching. Usually he would just clench his teeth and shut up but now his vision started to blur and his head was spinning. Jean finished quickly and Marco couldn't thank him enough. Marco quickly got the bandages off his wrists too because these had to be disinfected urgently.  
   
   
Once finished on the backside Jean was sewing the other side quickly. Once done he laid back again. But he sat up straight as he saw Marco's wrists. He reached for them carefully and furrowed his eyebrows. Why did that happen, why did Marco have to suffer like that? Jean carefully ran his fingers over one wrist. This had to be disinfected too.  
   
   
Marco's body heated up badly as Jean touched although so carefully Marco's wrist. It made it harder to breath for Marco. He has had injuries worse than those ones but his body was too tired this time.  
   
   
Jean had a worried, super worried look on his face. He disinfected both Marco's wrists before he bandaged them with proper bandages. Good, now Marco seemed to be taken care of. He should rest, he had lost a lot of blood.  
 

Marco thanked Jean again and then just passed out on the couch. He was too tired.  
 

Jean would sigh if he could. Marco passed out as expected. Jean decided to stand up and lay Marco down. While doing so, his right leg started trembling and he fell down again. They kicked him right over the big scratch which just healed and even scarred a bit. He felt like he got punched and kicked everywhere. Jean would just sit on the floor then.  
   
   
Marco opened his eye again after a long time apparently. He panicked when he didn't see Jean but this one was just there, on the floor. If Marco could, he'd get angry! There was enough place for both of them on the couch if Marco just scooted over a bit. Marco woke Jean up by caressing his hair and face carefully. "Come on, climb up here" Marco said to him when he woke up, Marco patted the space next to him on the couch.  
   
   
Jean opened his eyes when his bloody hair got caressed. He looked up at Marco. He should climb up there? How? Jean grabbed for the couch and pushed himself up. They should find at least one bed so that both could lay down in a proper way.  
   
   
"Is it ok? Or should I move a bit more?" Marco asked concerned. "Anyways, you shouldn't sleep on the floor..." he added.

 

Jean scooted closer but it was cramped, not so comfy. "We should find beds" he said unsure. Marco needed proper rest, in a bed...  
 

Marco nodded. He kissed Jean's hand quickly and went to look for beds in the house. His head was spinning less and he managed to walk. He found a room very close in fact and came back to help Jean get there.  
   
   
Jean just wanted to lay down in a bed and never move anymore. He groaned when he had to stand up because Marco found something. With Marco's help they walked into a close room and Jean got laid down on a small bed. Finally.  
   
   
Marco returned to take their bags and when he came back, he made sure to lock the room. If they were both sleeping, they couldn't be on guard if someone came by. Marco then laid in a bed next to Jean's one. Actually, there were three beds in the room. And they both fell asleep.  
   
   
Jean slept for hours. This act had been too much, even for him. He was already asleep when Marco got out again to grab their things. Jean's body didn't move at all, the only sign Jean was alive was his snoring.  
   
   
Marco slept long. As long as his body needed to recover and it meant that he woke up in the late evening (the day after) starving, and sadly images from the last dark events were flashing in his head. Jean was still sleeping and the bruises were already visible and swollen on his body. Marco needed to be closer. He rolled and stepped to the other bed and prudently laid down next to Jean. His precious love was hurting...  
   
   
Jean slept a few hours longer than Marco. His body was just exhausted. It needed time to recover so he would be at least able to think clear and everything. And he should shower, his hair was still red and Marco's clothes as well. Jean woke up and opened his eyes slowly. He still had a headache.  
 

Marco was very hungry and went to eat a little something from their provisions. After that he tried to find a bathroom and luckily found one. Well, there wasn't a shower and all but they could rinse the blood from themselves. Marco washed himself avoiding the bandages and stitches. There was a small mirror and he could see how many scars he had more now since that day they had fled Marco's base.  
 

Jean looked around. Marco wasn't here. He could hear water flowing though so he probably was washing off his blood. Good, he'd avoid infections then. With his mind Jean was completely here but he couldn't and didn't want to move his body at all.  
 

Marco walked back to Jean after a long moment. He was finally clean from blood. And Jean finally seemed awake. "You're awake ?" Marco asked gently as he sat on the edge on Jean's bed.  
 

Jean nodded and tried to sit up. He looked at Marco. So he washed himself. Good. Once sitting up Jean let out his breath again he held in before. He didn't know if he was able to speak yet. But he wanted to. He wanted to talk to Marco, ask what just happened. But he probably couldn't.  
 

Marco was worried about Jean. "Just nod if you feel okay" Marco asked again. Maybe Jean was hurting too much to speak.  
 

Jean sighed and then he nodded. He felt like shit and was exhausted and everything hurt but hey he was alive so that was something.

 

"Ok" Marco murmured and ran a hand carefully through Jean's hair. "You want to wash yourself too ? I can help you get to the bathroom" Marco proposed. So Jean could sleep again after and cleaner.  
 

Jean flinched slightly because well his head got punched and kicked at too. Again he nodded. His hair felt so sticky and disgusting he so wished for something to wash it off now.  
 

"Alright. Show me a sign if it hurts too much" Marco said and helped Jean to get on his feet. Marco would just carry Jean but he was pretty injured too and wouldn't risk to fall with Jean in his arms. They walked to the bathroom, Marco supporting Jean the best way he could.  
 

With Marco's help Jean managed to get to the little bathroom. That was good. Literally every movement hurt. Jean thought about if they did that to hurt Marco mentally, to hurt him even more... Would they do this? Whyelse would they be beating up just Jean?

 

Marco moved around Jean, worried. "I'll help..." he said first but moved prudently. Looking at Jean with this same worried look, Marco went to take Jean's shirt off slowly avoiding any careless move that could hurt Jean.  
 

This time Jean was glad Marco helped him. He was unable to move much. Like this they managed to get his hair free from Marco's blood. It wasn't a good feeling to have his boyfriend's blood on him. They walked back to the bedroom and Jean could lay down again. He wanted to talk with Marco. But he shouldn't try it, it could get worse.  
 

Back in the room, Marco helped Jean to lay down again and Marco went in the other bed. Marco was scared to hurt Jean if they laid on the same bed and what if he turned and touched Jean and hurt him and... He just laid down and tried to rest. Things were complicate. Theses guys had been terrible to Jean just as much as Marco had been terrible to hundreds of people in the past.  
 

Jean looked at Marco. He seemed so exhausted and worried, Jean didn't like that face much. He tried to smile a bit at Marco, trying to cheer him up.  
 

Oh Jean... Marco stood and made his bed slide next to Jean's one. He laid down again and smiled back.  
 

Jean was happy that Marco slid his bed next to Jean's. Once Marco was next to him Jean thought and then moved his hand like he was writing something. If he had something to write he could 'talk' with Marco. They had to talk about this.  
 

Marco showed a confused expression but then went to look for it. In a house like this he easily found a pen and a notebook. He walked back to Jean and gave it to him as he laid down again.  
 

Jean smiled at Marco thankfully as this one found something to write on. He grabbed both and started writing. 'Do you feel better?' was his first and the most important question.  
 

Marco focused on Jean's writing. He nodded at this first question. "And you ?" Marco asked back though he knew Jean was still in pain.

   
Jean sighed in relief. It was good that Marco didn't feel worse after his blood loss. Jean just shrugged his shoulders. 'What happened to them?' he then asked. They couldn't have slept here if they were still here or alive.  
 

Marco smiled sympathetically at Jean then read the second question. Marco didn't know. "I think that they fled" he started and suddenly panicked inside. Did Jean ask for all the men ? "I... I- well, the other ones are not here anymore either" Marco said trying to keep control of his breathing. Marco felt guilty already.

 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows once Marco was growing nervous. He didn't speak the complete truth... Jean wrote again. 'Did you kill them?'  
 

Marco ran a desperate hand over his face. He didn't want Jean to think bad of him but Marco would reply honestly. "Yes" he said.  
 

Jean knew it. He looked down for a second and nodded. 'You had to do it' he wrote and then looked at Marco again. 'Don't feel guilty. Without you I'd be dead already' he added.  
 

"Without me, you wouldn't have to get through this at all !" Marco said growing weak and even more guilty. Marco knew exactly what those men have been trying to do and Jean should never have gotten involved. Jean had nothing to do with Marco's dark past and doings of these last years.  
 

Jean backed up for a second. Marco really felt guilty huh? It hurt, but Jean went to hug Marco tight. "It- oka-y" he whispered or at least tried to.

   
"It's not okay Jean... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" Marco said his voice quivering. Marco would have loved to hug Jean tight too but Jean's back hasn't been spared and must hurt a lot too.  
 

Jean clenched his teeth and started rubbing Marco's back to calm him down a bit. He couldn't change Marco feeling guilty, because he kinda was, but Jean wasn't mad at him at all. He had decided to travel with Marco together after all.

 

After a moment staying like this Marco was the one backing up. 

 

Jean laid back down again. His bruises couldn't just heal like this. But he didn't know if they had anything useful or at least pills against the pain itself. Well, the good thing was that they were in a surprisingly warm house. A real house. So they wouldn't freeze to death.  
 

Marco sighed deeply and laid down too. He winced because in a moment of inattention lack he put weight on his injured hip (well more pierced than injured). He positioned himself better and a bit closer to Jean although not too close. "Jean... Can I hold out your hand ?" Marco asked in a whisper.  
 

Jean sighed. Marco just got shot by one of those bastards... At least the bullet went through, Marco was lucky. Jean raised an eyebrow confused about Marco's question but he held out his hand like Marco told him to.  
 

"Thanks" Marco replied smiling with love and intertwined their fingers together. Jean's hand, just his hand should be alright, no ? Marco lifted their hands to kiss Jean's fingers one by one. A bit satisfied by it, he let them rest on his chest.  
 

Jean blushed a bit under the bruises as Marco intertwined their fingers lovingly. He blushed even more when Marco kissed every single finger of his. Jean so wanted to kiss his precious Marco. But he was glad to lay down. Marco kept his hand in his and Jean smiled.  
 

"Finally, I can see an expression of you that I love" Marco said softly and relieved somehow.  
 

Jean looked at Marco. He pointed at himself, then formed a heart and pointed at Marco. He really should spare his voice now. But Jean was still worried. He was sure now that those weren't the ones that searched for Marco. They met by accident and they knew Marco. so they still weren't completely out of danger.  
 

Marco let out a small chuckle and replied "I love you too. More than anything". He kissed Jean's hand again and now tried to relax so they could sleep. Having Jean's body against him was missing but it was ok. It was ok because Jean was alive and Marco was alive too.  
 

Jean smiled warmhearted. Marco relaxed and Jean tried too. He wanted to cuddle with Marco but it wasn't possible. Jean closed his eyes and fell asleep fast.  
 

Being sure that Jean was fine and asleep, Marco drifted off as well.  
 

Jean slept 'peacefully'. He didn't dream about anything, his body was too exhausted to do anything. He woke up early in the morning, he had slept for like two days now.  
 

Marco couldn't sleep peacefully as he saw Jean do. Because of the nightmares he woke up every hour covered in sweat. It wasn't the most pleasant feeling ever. But he forced himself to return to sleep each time, till Jean woke up too...  
 

It seemed like Marco was already awake when Jean woke up on his own. He didn't feel much better today. At least he didn't feel exhausted anymore. He tried to smile at Marco instead of wishing him a good morning. He couldn't speak yet probably.  
 

"Hello my angel" Marco whispered with love and pain in his voice. Marco just spent the night with the imaginary not so imagined views of Jean getting tortured. Nightmares were more painful to bear than Marco's hip at the moment and both were extremely painful. "You slept well ?" Marco asked concerned.  
 

Jean looked at Marco worried because he spoke in pain. Could he do anything about it? Jean sighed and sat up a bit. He grabbed the things to write. 'Could you search for meds? For medicine?' he wrote and looked at Marco. Both needed them.  
 

"Hm ? Yes, just a minute-" Marco said and went to look for medicine. He found some after a few long minutes. It was simple painkillers but it should be enough. It was already amazing to find some.  
 

Jean nodded and laid back again. He hoped Marco would find something. He so hoped he would. After some minutes Marco came back. And it looked like he actually found something. Jean clapped.  
 

Marco laughed a bit as Jean clapped. "It's a honor to offer you this" Marco said as he did a short reverence and held out the painkillers to Jean. He then went to grab a bottle and gave it to Jean too. Now Marco sat next to him.  
 

Jean grabbed them gladly but half he let for Marco. He needed those pills too. Jean swallowed them quickly and hoped they would do their job soon.  
 

"Thanks" Marco said and swallowed up the medicine too.  
 

What should they do now? Obviously they couldn't hit the road. They would have to stay here a few days. But what if the men that fled came back? Instead of thinking of something, Jean's stomach was announcing himself.  
 

Marco was surprised because compared to his own stomach, he had never heard Jean's stomach complain like this. He stood and grabbed something easy to eat in the bag and handed it to Jean.  
 

Jean was hungry. He haven't eaten since two days so of course he was hungry. Jean took the food gladly at ate.

   
Marco watched Jean, eye full of love from his bed as he laid down again. How could people lay a finger on this guy ? It was all Marco's fault... He sighed and tried to rest a bit while Jean finished eating.  
   
   
Jean noticed Marco wearing that guilty look on his face again. If he could speak and move without problems, he could help Marco.  
Once the painkillers worked Jean stood up slowly. He already felt better inside. He didn't know what he should do now but he probably had to check on Marco's wound again so he grabbed fresh bandages. It was good Luna got them so much.

 

Marco sat up shocked when he saw Jean stood up. "What are you doing ?" he asked worried about Jean.

 

Jean pointed at the bandages in his hand then at Marco before he sat down onto Marco's bed. They had to check each other, especially Marco had to be checked because of his wound.  
 

Oh. Marco sat obediently and focused on Jean's moves. Marco lifted up his shirt the time for Jean to take care of the wound. "How does it look ?" Marco asked once the bandages were gone. Oh yeah right Jean wouldn't reply just like that. Marco took the notebook and pen in case Jean would want to write a reply.  
 

Marco lifted up his shirt and once again Jean pulled Marco's pants slighty down on the side. He took the used bandages off. He looked up at Marco as this one asked about it. Jean quickly grabbed pen and notebook from Marco. 'It's not infected but it'll need time to heal' he wrote and handed Marco the notebook again before he put on fresh bandages.  
 

Marco read and nodded. It was normal that this kind of wound needed time to close and scar.

 

Jean finished and smiled at Marco before he nodded and stood up. This would be enough for now. He was glad he could help Marco a bit at least.

 

Marco smiled backed and focused again "your turn" he said taking Jean's hand in his. Marco was kinda of fearing to see Jean's injured body. It wasn't the same as the big open scratch he had on his leg. Now it has been done by men...  
 

Jean shook his head. He didn't want Marco to see the bruises that were covered by his clothes. He didn't want Marco to feel even more guilty when he saw Jean's back for example. According to the pain it had to look horrible. Jean could be glad they didn't break any bone.  
 

"Jean..." Marco sighed. Of course this had to be painful for both of them but what if some bruises actually got infected ? "Please" Marco asked again, frowning big.  
 

Jean sighed and furrowed his eyebrows. He couldn't stop Marco huh? Jean nodded, giving Marco the okay. He didn't want to see Marco's expression.  
 

Ok. Marco breathed in shakily and lifted Jean's shirt in his turn. Oh god Marco could cry. Jean's skin was painted in a horrific green-purple tone turning dark on some spots. "No- nothing's open" he said but it was quite hard to speak with this in sight. Marco went to take a cloth that he rinsed with cold water and came back. He applied it being extremely careful on Jean's back.  
 

Jean looked down. He could already hear in Marco's voice that he felt bad for it. 'Is it much bad?' Jean wrote on the notebook again and handed it Marco who was already applying cold water on his back.  
 

"It's everywhere-" Marco said breathless. Marco did his best to stay calm cause he was growing somewhere between infinite sadness and madness. He could just go and kill the men who caused that. Oh wait- he already did that.  
 

He knew Marco would react like that. And according to his reaction his body had to look bad. Jean hoped Marco wouldn't turn mad or anything. He couldn't change it now.

 

Marco controlled his breathing and did his best with Jean's bruises for now. He washed it slowly and carefully. Jean's whole upper body, then he asked as he helped Jean to put his shirt on again "Can I have a look at your leg too ?"  
 

Once having his shirt back on Jean looked up at Marco. Did he really have to look at his leg? Maybe it was better so Jean nodded again. It probably wasn't worst than his back.  
 

Phew. Marco examined cautiously Jean's legs. It was bruised as well but must be hurting less. "Your scar isn't bleeding. That's... kind of lucky" he stated. Marco used the cloth on Jean's legs too and soon he was done. He helped Jean again to get his jeans back on .  
 

Once rid of his jeans Jean could see some bruises here and there. It wasn't that much so it was no wonder he could stand up for a while. The most damage got his back.

 

Marco sighed deeply, once again and laid down curling in a small ball. He just wanted Jean to feel better soon now.  
 

Jean watched Marco curling up to a ball. Oh man... Jean laid down next to him and scooted as close as possible for him that it didn't hurt much. Jean reached out for Marco and cupped his cheek.  
 

"Jean" Marco murmured looking up to his lover. He rubbed his cheek in Jean's palm slowly.  
 

"Hm?" Jean let out. Some sounds his throat could make. He smiled slightly when Marco rubbed his cheek against his palm. Maybe Jean could make Marco's worrying face fade away.  
 

Marco closed his eye and relaxed under Jean's fingers. He felt warmth spreading from his cheek to his chest.  
 

Marco didn't reply. Instead he closed his eyes. Jean smiled at him. Marco seemed more at ease now. It hurt, but Jean leaned in to kiss Marco quickly. Marco shouldn't feel sorry. Jean wondered by the way. Marco probably had killed the men down where they were before. Were they still there? And when they did, were they... smelling?  
 

Marco leaned in the kiss though it didn't linger much. He looked up to Jean.  
 

They couldn't lay down like this. None of them were tired so they couldn't sleep and it was still morning. But what could they probably do?  
 

"What are you thinking about ?" Marco asked quietly.  
 

"We- it- morning" Jean whispered. Why couldn't he speak full sentences? Jean turned around a bit and tried to get the notebook.  
 

Marco would have loved to understand Jean at his first try but well...  
 

It took him an eternity but he managed to get the things. He backed up a bit so he could write something down. 'We can't sleep it's already morning is there something I can do?' and showed it Marco.

   
Oh Marco should have helped Jean ! But when he figured, Jean was already writing. God, Marco was slow recently. "Something you can do... Well, there isn't much to do around here" Marco said looking around as if it would give him the answer to Jean's question.  
 

'We can't sit around all day. And what if they come back with more men?' he wrote before he looked at Marco again. They weren't out of danger yet. If the men who fled managed to get to the group searching for Marco they would definitely come back.  
 

"Then maybe we should look for guns and such. They must have some, somewhere" Marco said.  
 

Jean looked at Marco as he stood up. He shook his head. Marco didn't have to help him. Jean could search in the first floor while Marco could search downstairs. He probably was better suited for walking stairs.  
 

Marco waited for Jean to write his thoughts down and then nodded. They could do this. Marco went downstairs but stayed far from the staircase leading to where they have been 'tortured'. Marco looked around but this time he didn't find what he was looking for. And there was no way he would go down in the last part of the house again !  
 

Jean searched for anything useful on the first floor. He found a new room but the door was locked. Maybe it was locked because there was something useful? Jean didn't have a key so he clenched his teeth and broke the door with his leg without a scratch. A loud noise was made and he could enter the room.  
 

Marco heard a door being knocked down. He went up to see but it was only Jean. "You found something good ?" Marco asked as he entered the room.  
 

Jean shrugged his shoulders, he didn't know yet if there was something good. And his leg hurt. He went inside the room and it seemed like a storage, full of food and medicine and guns and everything. Jackpot! Unlucky lucky huh?

   
"Oh shi- Jean that's awesome !" Marco exclaimed as he entered the room and looked around the whole room.  
 

Jean grinned. It was awesome. "Get- all" he whispered before he started to grab all the food. He even grabbed a new bag.  
 

Marco nodded and packed the most useful stuff together.  
 

They had food, lots of medicine and new weapons. For their current situation it was perfect. Soon the whole room was empty. They tortured both Jean and Marco so now their things were Jean's and Marco's. It was that easy. Jean sat down on the couch and the first thing he did was eating something. They had enough now.  
 

Marco stretched and sat down next to Jean. They would be ready to go once they would be in healthier conditions.  
 

They had everything they needed. Jean even found the perfect medicine for Marco's wound. And he probably should do it now. The faster they were healthy, the faster they could leave this place which could get entered any second by those who were searching for Marco. Jean looked through the medicine to find the right one.  
 

"What are you looking for ?" Marco asked curious. He bent a bit to rest his elbows on his knees.  
 

Jean found the medicine after some time and showed it to Marco before he pointed at Marco's wound. Then he pointed at Marco's shirt and pants. Jean didn't want to make a mess after all and they didn't have much clothes anyway. They could look for that too by the way.  
 

"Right now ?" Marco asked slightly taken aback but he obediently lifted up his shirt and pushed his pants down a bit. The wound had turned purple around the opened flesh he could see after Jean took off the bandages.

   
Jean nodded. The earlier they treated Marco's wound in a proper way the faster it would heal obviously. As Jean took off the bandages, he could see that Marco's skin looked pretty much purple around the wound itself. They really needed to take care of it. Jean started applying some of the medicine on the skin, being extremely careful.

 

"It stings !" Marco said but chuckled. He had it worst. Smiling at Jean thankfully, Marco let him finished to treat Marco's wound.  
 

Jean patted Marco's upper leg because of his comment. When he finished, he put the bandages back on. He leaned in and kissed Marco's skin lightly over the bandage before he backed up. Now Marco was all treated. Hopefully there was medicine for himself too. His back sure had to be a painting now.  
 

Marco blushed like a teenager when Jean kissed him there. Well, it was close to... it was low. Marco cleared his throat and asked "uhm, do you have something to apply on your wounds too ?" as he looked into Jean's eyes.  
 

Jean looked up at Marco before he stood up again. Sweet, he was blushing. Jean chuckled to himself. As he got asked about medicine for himself, Jean shrugged his shoulders and handed Marco the bag with the medicine, maybe he could find something.  
 

Marco looked in the bag and quickly got his hand on a cream made from dwarf everlast. He made a sign for Jean to sit down next to him.

   
Jean raised an eyebrow because Marco seemed to find something instantly. Well, even better so. Jean sat down next to him. He hoped the cream would do its job fast. Bruises took their time like wounds did but at least Jean didn't want to have such a 'colorful' body anymore. Especially because he didn't want Marco to suffer because of the sight of his body.  
 

Marco only focused on the medical part of his doings. He couldn't let the dark feelings drown him again. He softly and carefully applied the cream on every bruise Jean had on his upper body, making sure that it penetrated the skin so it would heal faster. He went to do the rest too and Jean was good now.  
 

It felt like Marco applied the cream everywhere. It was no wonder, he got kicked in the back several times and those men weren't weak. But Jean smiled a bit because Marco was so careful doing this. But still he didn't want Marco to see his body like this in the first place... He just didn't want that but it was no use. He hoped Marco wouldn't be too mad. Jean sighed slightly.  
 

"You're all good now" Marco said with a smile and leaned in carefully to kiss Jean's forehead that was showing up under Marco's nose.  
 

Jean closed his eyes and smiled when Marco kissed his forehead oh so gently. "Tha- you" he whispered. goddammit when was he finally able to speak again?? He had so many things he wanted to tell Marco, ask him questions and everything about this whole thing here. But he couldn't just write like two pages on the notebook. He didn't even know what he should do now if he couldn't even talk with Marco normally. And Jean couldn't just sit around (even though it would be better probably).  
 

"You're welcome, love" Marco replied gently and added "we should return to the other room. And take some of the bags with us".  
 

Jean looked at Marco confused. Which room did he mean? But Jean wouldn't and couldn't ask anyway so he'd just follow Marco. He grabbed as much as he could which was a mistake because in this state his body couldn't lift everything like it normally would and it ended with Jean kissing the floor. He quickly stood up again and just grabbed one bag first. He hated this situation already, he was so weak right now and everything hurt. The painkillers didn't last long sadly.  
 

"Jean!" Marco let out as Jean landed on the floor. "Oh please love be careful" he asked and made sure that Jean would only take one bag and mostly that he was okay. Marco walked back in the bedroom. Here they could rest and eat or anything.  
 

Jean grew red of anger and embarrassment. Not just that his body was already aching, now 'he had to be careful' and 'was like so weak'. Okay, Marco didn't say that but right now Jean felt just useless he even needed to get helped by Marco. It still wasn't an easy task for the prideful Jean to accept help like this. They went to the bedroom and Jean sat down onto the bed, kinda sulking to himself.

 

Marco was busy putting all the things in their room and all. But when he finished his wrists were hurting like really bad. It wasn't such a good thing that Marco grew used to pain like this since the apocalypse because now he wasn't so careful with his body. Marco walked to his bed and got the bandages off. "Shit it bled" he whispered and turned them a bit to have a good look at it. He was so lucky to have not broken his bones when he freed himself from the chains.But they both were very irritated and flesh was showing on some parts.  
   
Jean moved to sit next to Marco and took a look at his wrists... "-arco !" he scolded. He took Marco's wrists in his hands and took a better look at it.

 

Marco shouldn't have but he let out a very small chuckle and leaned forward to kiss Jean's cheek. "We should just disinfect this and it'll be ok" Marco said looking back at his wrists.

   
Jean blushed slightly and was surprised by Marco's cute reaction. He nodded and grabbed the stuff for disinfection and such. He even got a cream perfect for flesh wounds like these. Jean wondered how Marco came to those wounds in the first place it's not like they had aimed for Marco's wrists. But first he would treat them before asking questions.  
 

Actually Jean might not have seen it when they were in this dark room and they were separated from some large meters too. And Jean quickly had been unable to see anything. The thought made Marco sick.  
But Marco at that moment had been hung by metal chains rolled around his wrists and when he got out of it it obviously didn't do any good to his skin. "Thank you" Marco said softly as Jean finished to treat him. He also applied a cream that appeased Marco's wrists.  
 

Jean disinfected the wounds, applied the cream on it and then put new bandages on it carefully. Jean grabbed Marco's hands again and kissed both of them when Marco thanked him. Now that he finished he could ask, right? Jean grabbed the notebook and the pen. 'What happened? How did you get those?' he wrote on it.  
 

Marco smiled slightly blushing again as Jean kissed his hands. That was so sweet of him. Marco sort of waited this question. "They hung me up by the wrists, with metal chains. When I got out of it it was all bruised and bleeding" he explained quickly.  
 

Jean nodded when Marco replied. He clenched slightly a fist and furrowed his eyebrows. How dared they dealing with Marco like that! 'What else did I miss?' he asked. Sure Jean had lots of questions.  
 

Marco thought. "Hm... Me yelling like... Well a lot and loud. And nothing else, just a fight that I'm not sure I would have wanted you to see" he replied.  
 

Jean sighed again. It sure had been horrible to Marco, chained up consciously, wondering and worrying where Jean was. 'Do you know why they did this?'

 

Marco sighed and shut his eye a second. Of course he knew why... He knew too well. "You shouldn't have been dragged into this. That's all my fault- I- I'm still sorry y'know" he said quietly and looked up to Jean. He then explained quickly "The only purpose was to make me suffer and eventually make me break y'know, they just wanted to torture me and that bastard noticed that the best way to reach his goal was-" Marco's voice broke but well.."to torture you".  
   
   
Jean cupped Marco's cheek when this one apologized once again. He nodded after every sentence Marco explained. So they did do this to Jean to hurt Marco. Now Jean cupped both Marco's cheeks. He couldn't speak but at least he tried to comfort Marco like this. If Jean imagined how he'd feel if someone beat Marco up in front of him... That was just horrible.  
 

"I'm sorry, Jean" Marco apologized again looking into Jean's eyes as this one gently cupped Marco's cheeks. Marco focused on his breathing to calm himself. Breathing deep and long.  
 

Jean pulled Marco into a hug and caressed his hair to help him calm down. It had to be so horrible to see his lover getting tortured. At the same time Jean was glad Marco had reacted early, he didn't know what else they would've done otherwise. What if they had shot Jean right in front of Marco?  
 

Marco slowly calmed down. For once it was good that he couldn't know every single thoughts of Jean because having Jean being shot in front of him would be enough to get him mad for life. And suicidal by the way. Marco didn't think of this now because he didn't have to. He just had to be relieved that they got out of this alive.  
 

Jean kissed Marco's head before he released Marco again. He hoped it helped a bit. Jean backed up again and sat down on his own bed. What to do now? It really would be easier if Jean could talk. Well, maybe tomorrow. Maybe.  
 

"Thanks" Marco said again. But Jean went too far away sitting on his own bed. Marco wanted to keep him close. Though it always was selfish thoughts. Marco laid down and closed his eye. He could rest a little hour.  
 

Jean looked at Marco. It was good if he wanted to rest. Jean smiled at Marco. They were alive, that was all that counted. Jean laid down too. It was hard though to lay down in general because of his back. So he laid on his side and closed his eyes. Maybe he would manage to doze off a bit?  
 

Marco woke up slowly after a while. At least if he was taking naps he was less exposed to nightmares.  
 

Unlike Marco Jean fell asleep, in a deep deep sleep. His body needed the energy after all. Jean didn't want to sleep for too long, what if Marco got dark thoughts and everything and he couldn't be there for Marco? But Jean couldn't fight against sleep obviously. When he was sleeping, it was a lot more seeable that he was suffering, that every limb ached. Awake he could hide it.

   
Marco opened his eye to find Jean's back in front of him. Marco winced. He knew the green and purple bruises that were here under Jean's clothes. He noticed that Jean wasn't sleeping so good. At least he tried to sleep, thought Marco.  
Marco moved prudently closer and placed his arm above Jean's head. This way Marco didn't have much risk to cause pain to Jean if they moved.  
 

Jean's sleeping body noticed Marco getting closer so he turned around facing Marco now. He didn't wake up even though his back hurt because of the turn. It was a bit funny that Jean wanted to be close to Marco even if he was sleeping.  
 

Marco's lips melted into a smile when Jean turned to face him. He slowly caressed Jean's hair as he watched him sleep.

 

Jean slept for a while. His body felt better since Marco was here, giving him a feeling of safety. 

 

After hours (and some dozing moments) Marco started to pepper kisses over Jean's neck, gently until he reached Jean's lips. Jean was waking up...

 

Jean kissed Marco back and made it a bit longer than needed. But well right now kissing was a rare task so Jean enjoyed it even more. He backed up again and looked up at Marco. "For how long did I sleep?" he asked in a sleepy voice.  
 

Marco voiced his appreciation in the kiss. He quickly kissed Jean's cheek when this one backed up and replied "maybe 4 hours ? 5 hours ? The sun is starting to set outside. We should eat something...".  
 

Jean's eyes widened slightly. "5 hours??" he said and sat up too quick for his body. He groaned slightly. He just noticed. He could speak again. Not in a loud voice, it was more like a murmuring but he actually could talk. Probably not for long but he could talk!  
 

Marco sat up and laid a hand on Jean's arm carefully to be sure Jean was alright after moving so fast. "Oh but wait- your voice Jean ! Hey Jean... I love you" Marco said beaming. Of course he said it in purpose hoping to hear these special words in return.  
 

Jean probably could talk for what like 5 minutes before it would hurt too much. But that didn't worry Jean one bit, it was so hard for someone like him to remain silent. Jean blushed because of Marco's sudden confession but smiled. "I love you too" he replied and kissed Marco again. "I'm sorry- you were alone for- 5 hours" he then added. Yup, he could already feel that his throat wasn't all healed yet. It would be a damn wonder if it was.  
 

Marco was delighted to hear that again. He kissed Jean back and flicked his forehead very gently. "I wasn't alone" he retorted. "You feel better ?" he asked.  
 

Jean rubbed his forehead after Marco had flicked it slightly. He chuckled. "A bit" he then replied. Did he feel better? Well his voice did but the rest... He wasn't so sure about it. Both of them needed their time to heal.  
 

Marco sighed slightly and smiled. "That's good" he said and kissed Jean's forehead. Then he went to grab food in one of the bags and returned to the beds.  
 

Jean stretched himself to get fully awake. God why did every movement hurt? Marco though seemed pretty much fine. Well fine for being shot in the hip. Better than shot dead. Once Marco returned to their beds Jean pulled Marco close to him and got half of the food.  
 

Marco chuckled and snuggled a bit to Jean's side and making sure to not press on his wounds. He continued to kiss Jean's cheek again. And they ate. The rest of the day went by calmly.  
 

Jean smiled and leaned his head against Marco's. They took their time eating something for 'dinner' and soon the sun set. It could be so perfect now to kiss and cuddle and maybe make out a bit in a warm house (even though the beds were a little bit small) but it literally would hurt too much.  
 

Marco could feel the atmosphere slowly setting itself in the air. They couldn't do anything for real so Marco was content with kissing Jean's skin where it wasn't painful for him. Kissing his face and hair and ears and fingers and wrists... With this the time passed.  
 

At least they could kiss a bit. Jean blushed and smiled and let himself get kissed by Marco. Marco focused on some parts, probably because he didn't want to hurt Jean. But he could kiss him like everywhere, he definitely wouldn't mind. Soft lips didn't hurt on his colorful skin. "Love- you" he murmured and looked at Marco and caressed his hair a bit.  
 

"Thank you..." Marco murmured. It wasn't his usual reply but kissing Jean bruised skin now he felt thankful. "What would I do without you Jean ? I love you so much-" Marco added quietly hiding in Jean's neck.

 

"S-ame" Jean replied and wrapped his arms around his freckled boyfriend. It didn't matter if it hurt, Jean wanted to just hug Marco now.  
 

Marco nodded, surprised to feel tears coming. He couldn't cry now... seriously. Instead he kissed Jean again, and very carefully marked his skin, kissed it again. "At least you will have one mark that has another meaning" he whispered.  
 

Jean blushed when Marco marked his skin. It was such a precious doing of him. "I- too" Jean said and lifted up Marco's head a bit. Obviously he wanted go get to Marco's neck. Except for his wrists and his hip Marco wasn't wounded anywhere else luckily. And Jean was fucking relieved because of that.  
 

Marco blushed in his turn. He stretched his neck a bit because it was easy to understand what Jean wanted to achieve.  
 

Jean was happy that Marco did what he wanted. Kissing Marco's skin didn't harm him as long as he didn't move much. So he leaned in and hid in Marco's neck first before he started kissing it, sure taking his time to mark Marco there.  
 

Jean played with Marco's patience there... But it was okay... Marco caressed Jean's hair waiting and stretching a bit more.  
 

Jean chuckled slightly when Marco stretched his neck a bit more like he was... impatient? Then Jean didn't want Marco to wait any longer and started biting down on the skin softly, finally marking Marco. That was the least Jean could do. Marco deserved a lot more, but right now Jean couldn't do anything 'more'.  
 

Marco smiled and let out a small groan of appreciation when he felt Jean marking his skin. Were they strange to like being 'marked' by the other ? Well, Marco didn't care, it felt good when done and good when he remembers it on his skin.  
 

Jean felt his body heaten up very lightly. Marco shouldn't do such noises it was even worse then to know that they couldn't cuddle normally ! Jean backed up and a little hickey was showing on Marco's neck. Jean didn't care if it was visible or not. No one cared in a world like this. Jean just cared that he could do something like this now because Marco was with him. And that made Jean incredibly happy.  
 

Marco saw Jean happy and it was enough to make him melt. "You're- oh my god" Marco murmured literally melting warmed by love and gentle happiness and such loveliness coming from Jean. Ok Marco actually selected what he wanted to see at the moment and put away the negative things.  
 

Jean tilted his head a bit and raised an eyebrow a bit confused about Marco's reaction. "All- okay?" he asked and looked at Marco before he took his hand carefully, smiling at him.

   
"Yeah" Marco replied and nodded as he squeezed Jean's hand in his hand gently and leaned in to kiss Jean again. All of this took them a while and they could sleep if they wanted to.  
 

Jean was glad that Marco was okay. And like every time the kiss they shared felt wonderful. Jean slept for 5 hours already but it got late in the evening and they should probably sleep so Jean laid down, groaning a bit because of the slight pain.

   
Marco furrowed his eyebrows while laying down. "I hate to see you in pain" Marco stated and caressed Jean's cheek to comfort him.  
 

Jean looked up at Marco and sighed before he looked down. It was not like he could change the fact that his body was aching when he moved.

 

"Hey now don't make that face" Marco asked softly. Jean and his personality... Impatient and grumpy. But if anyone asked, Marco couldn't say that he didn't like these parts of Jean so... Like, Marco loved everything about Jean. And he admired him for so long. Lost in his thoughts about Jean, Marco slowly came down to earth after a minute.  
 

Jean sighed again and snuggled against Marco. He didn't want Marco to worry about him, having worries because of Jean. Now Jean stayed like this close to Marco. Sleeping like this was way better.  
 

Marco smiled looking down on Jean who snuggled against him and Marco slid his arms around him carefully. "That's ok in this position ?" Marco asked to be sure.  
 

Why did a simple but nice hug had to hurt? It was not much pain Jean felt, but feeling pain in the first place when Marco was just touching him was just awful. But he nodded anyway, he wanted to stay in Marco's arms.  
 

"Alright" Marco said and relaxed laid like this.  
 

Jean closed his eyes, absorbing the scent of Marco. It made Jean relax in an instant. Like this he could fall asleep easily and eventually he did pretty fast.  
 

It took a while for Marco to fall asleep. First he tried to remember when was the last time Jean slept in his arms like this. And he thought about what happened during this lapse of time. He also remembered the last time they were so injured that it was impossible to cuddle. He thought about Jack. Was the kid doing alright ?  
And after a few hours, sleep found him and Marco slept till midday.  
 

Jean slept nearly as long as Marco although he slept the day before longer. He woke up and found Marco still asleep. He smiled and stayed close to Marco until he would wake up. Jean was glad that he didn't get any nightmares for now, his body was fighting with the bruises so there wasn't time for nightmares luckily.


	34. Walking again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi~ It's been a while. I hope that the few of you who keep up with this story still like it, let us know !  
> Also from now on I'll write the date when I publish the chapter since it's not regular updates.   
> Chapter 34   
> 1st of June 2018

Two days later, when they slept so much that they were mentally sick of it already, Marco proposed that they started to walk again. His wrists were healing and that was a good thing. Of course his hip will take very much longer to heal. Jean on his part was feeling better too but his body was still badly painted with bruises that haven't faded away yet.

 

The next days they slept, ate and slept again. Two more days they stayed in this house before they decided to go on again. They shouldn't stay much longer here, even if it was warm inside. Both of them were healthy enough to take a walk. So they packed everything up and left nothing behind that could be useful for them.

   
They walked all day but did a lot of breaks. They were needed. Then night fell and they found a shelter. Jean took care of their food and the men went through their 'usual' routine. Before going to sleep, Marco applied the cream on Jean's back and Jean treated Marco's hip too. And they could sleep till the early morning.

   
So they continued walking. They were way slower than usually. They needed more breaks but in the end they really walked a good long day. They found a shelter, looked after each others' wounds and fell asleep in each others' arms. The next morning Jean woke up pretty early.  
 

Marco woke up not long after Jean. "Good morning~" he hummed half asleep and stretched. They had to walk the whole day again. And they would reach the big city soon.

 

"Morning" Jean replied and kissed Marco's cheek quickly. His voice was not back completely but the swollen part of his throat was nearly faded away so it was a lot easier for him to talk again.

 

"Hmm you beautiful" Marco whispered in Jean's ear as he snuggled on his side. Marco felt... Cuddly today. But they had to go and walk.

   
Jean blushed immediately. Geez Marco couldn't call him beautiful out of the blue like this! He smiled and scooted a bit closer to Marco. They had to go but like Marco Jean would love to just lay here and cuddle.

   
"And I'm even blissed to see your cute reaction. Oh I love you" Marco said quite out of the blue again. He closed his arms around Jean prudently and kissed his forehead.  
 

God why was Marco so adorable? "Love you too" Jean murmured and let his forehead get kissed. He really didn't want to stand up.  
 

They stayed a little while resting like this but soon the sun was bright and they really had to go. They ate something, packed their things and went on.  
 

They had to go indeed so they quickly made breakfast and then continued walking. How Jean wished all of this would finally be over and he could cuddle all morning with Marco in a nice little house.  
 

The day went by calmly. Marco was almost surprised that now that they were closer to the city, zombies weren't showing much. They were meeting people on the road but they just passed them. Marco was on his guard... One of these persons could be not as innocent as they seemed.  
 

Jean was as tensed as Marco when they passed other people. They shouldn't and probably couldn't forget that some bad guys still were searching for Marco. Jean would never ever let them have Marco.  
 

They arrived around a small village when the sun was about to set. "We should avoid it, don't you think ?" Marco asked Jean. With what happened last time it was better that they avoided civilization for now.  
 

Jean nodded. They could never be sure who was living there or staying there. "Yeah. It's better we find a shelter ourselves" he said and took Marco's hand. Even if it meant they would have to walk for three hours more Jean would do that if it he could make sure Marco was save then.  
 

Marco blushed like an idiot when Jean took his hand and nodded as they started to walk again. They were lucky to find an abandoned pile of what might be a shelter before and could manage to turn it into something not too noticeable.  
 

Geez Marco acted so cute again! Jean could just squeeze him but they had to find a shelter first. In the end they did before it got too dark.

   
It was good that they didn't have to hunt with all the provisions of food that they had. Like usual Jean prepared dinner and Marco installed the camping mattresses.  
 

Jean sat close to the fire while preparing the food. Since they left this house they didn't get into trouble. That was good. Jean was worried though. What if the men searching for Marco found the corpses in this house? What if they counted 1+1 together and were even more pissed then? Jean hoped they would never encounter them again.

   
"What are you frowning at ?" Marco asked as he spooned Jean in his arms, sitting behind him.  
 

Jean blushed slightly and turned his head a bit. "Nothing" he said and smiled at Marco. "Dinner's ready I guess" he then announced and shoved everything on their plates. It was so good they had so much food now.

 

"Hm ? Well, just be sure to not worry too much, alright ?" Marco asked when Jean brushed off Marco's question (in a cute way though blushing and all). Marco took his plate, thanked Jean and started to eat.

   
"Yeah yeah don't worry" Jean quickly said and kissed Marco's cheek. Of course he was worried, there were actually men out there who wanted to get or even worse kill his Marco. They started eating and chatted lightly.  
 

And they went to bed, doing a quick check wounds session. Marco's hip was hurting a bit but it was amazing that he didn't feel it much.

   
Once finished eating and looking after each others wounds and bruises they laid down. Like any other day Jean snuggled close to Marco and put his arms around him. This way it hurt less. His back didn't hurt that much anymore but still was colorful.  
 

"You're okay ?" Marco asked just to be absolutely sure and wrapped an arm around Jean's waist. They were as stuck together as always. It had missed him too much during the few days when they couldn't.  
 

Jean sighed slightly and looked at Marco. "Yeah I am as I said don't worry okay?" he replied and scooted the closest possible.  
 

"Hmm" Marco voiced as a reply and closed his eye. Jean was snuggling on Marco and that was very enjoyable like this. Marco was glad to spend a night like this again. He couldn't even consider that maybe the next night they wouldn't be able to sleep like this.  
 

Jean closed his eyes as well. He remembered he didn't ask once for Marco to take off his eyepatch again... But that was okay, right now Jean didn't want any drama. They already had enough drama.

   
"Good night, Jean" Marco whispered to him before falling asleep.  
 

"Good night love" Jean replied and kissed Marco's chin quickly before he fell asleep slowly.  
 

So sweet. Marco fell asleep first. His sleep was a bit agitated by very brief nightmares. But he managed to stay asleep all along till morning.  
 

Jean's nightmares 'finally' returned but he stayed asleep and slept till morning. As often he woke up early and watched Marco sleep.  
 

It surely had to be a long day again, Marco thought when he woke up slowly.  
 

Jean smiled at Marco and kissed Marco's forehead. "Good morning" he said as he sat up. Hopefully this day would be as calm as the others. Please no drama today.  
 

"Good morning" Marco replied sitting up with Jean. He was... tired. Nightmares all night weren't good in the first place.

   
Jean leaned against Marco and rested a bit there. Then he grabbed the bag with the food in it and handed Marco something for breakfast. The earlier they would go the faster they would reach the city.  
 

Marco caressed Jean's shoulder as this one leaned on him. "Thanks" he said and ate calmly. Marco had a bad feeling about this day. He tried to put the thought aside and convinced himself that everything would be ok just like the past two days.

   
Jean was pretty quick eating his half. His body was still searching for any energy possible so of course he could both sleep and eat much. Once finished he wrapped his arms around Marco again. He didn't know why but somehow he didn't want to go outside now. But well, they had to.

   
Marco finished and chuckled slightly when Jean embraced him innocently. Marco made the both of them fall on the mattresses again and hugged Jean with love and care. "Let's stay here a bit... We can walk faster now so we don't have to go so early" Marco decided.  
 

Jean's eyes widened in surprise and he blushed when Marco let both of them fall on the mattresses again because Jean thought they would go. Like right now. But he was more than okay to stay a bit longer. "That's fine by me" he replied and smiled at Marco.  
 

"I just don't get why but I feel like there's something fishy waiting for us outside. Don't wanna go" Marco said as he lost his gaze somewhere in the ceiling. He looked back at Jean, his hand caressing Jean's hair slowly.  
 

So Marco was feeling like this too? "Yeah but at some point we have to go... We can't stay all day here we have to continue walking" he said and looked at Marco. "But we can stay a bit longer I guess" he murmured and hid in Marco's neck. His precious Marco.

   
Jean was right, they had to go at some point. Just... Not right now.  
"Oh my god" Marco chuckled as Jean hid and murmured to him, it was making Marco feel warmer. He hugged Jean a bit more and focused on something. Looking at his own hands, Marco slid them slowly under Jean's shirt. He tried to avoid the last bruises the best he could and was extremely careful. But it has been so long since he casually slid his hands on Jean's back. He loved this milky skin and didn't like to be deprived of it.  
 

"What is it?" Jean asked and chuckled, a bit confused though of Marco's reaction. He blushed immediately when Marco slid his hands under Jean's shirt. Marco's hands were so warm... It was wonderful.  
 

Since Jean wasn't complaining or anything Marco went on and caressed his whole back, up to Jean's shoulders. He reached his nape and cupped his jaw in the end kiss Jean's lips lovingly. Marco's arms were quite entangled in Jean's shirt but he didn't care much.  
 

Jean blushed even more and closed his eyes, enjoying Marco's hands on his skin. Marco could touch him everywhere if he wanted to... Jean kissed Marco back and smiled into the kiss. Right now it was perfect and nothing could ruin this moment.  
 

They made it linger for a while, kissing deep and shallow. Marco continued to run his hand over Jean's body, because he liked it and because Jean seemed to like it too. And then they had to go. It was already the middle of morning and they couldn't stay till midday in here. It was too dangerous, to risk to be found.... Well, any time was dangerous anyway around here these days. If it weren't zombies, men could find them.  
 

Jean would have loved to continue this. He really did. He wouldn't be able to make out properly but at least deepened their kisses a bit more. But at some point they had to go. They gathered all their things together and continued walking. Jean was as careful as ever.  
 

It was quite stressful. They both were tensed. At least this morning had helped Marco to relax a bit.

 

And in the afternoon happened what he never hoped would ever happen. They walked by some guys. These latter looked strangely at Marco. They both walked faster and in another direction but the guys behind were following them.  
   
   
In the early afternoon they passed a little group of guys again. Like Marco Jean tensed up immediately but they just continued walking. Jean looked slightly back and his heart started beating faster. It seemed like they were following them. Were they part of this stupid 'Marco-search-club' (wow much creative Jean)?? They started walking faster acting normally.  
 

Marco wished he could just disappear so Jean would be safe. Ok he shouldn't assume that these guys were searching for him only but it still was the worst, being chased.  
 

It could be that they were friendly and needed help. But it also could be that they wanted Marco dead so Jean didn't hesitate to go on walking. Unfortunately because of his fast walking he lost his balance and fell to the ground which got the others enough time to get closer. "Sorry for my clumsiness" Jean said quickly before he stood up and walked even faster with Marco. Something was wrong about all this...

   
Marco gasped as Jean fell down. Shit- he hoped Jean didn't hurt himself. "You're okay Jean ?" Marco asked worried as he helped him to get on his feet and they continued to walk fast. The men were still behind them, neither talking nor doing anything, they were just following Jean and Marco in a creepy way.  
 

"That doesn't matter, come on" Jean said as calm as he could. It got slowly creepy how those guys were following them. They didn't even say something like 'Stop' or 'Come here' or 'Wait for us'. They were just following them. And Jean didn't know for how long he could walk that fast anymore.  
 

Marco couldn't think of any plan right now. He couldn't just turn around and face the guys, right ?  
 

Jean looked at Marco. They couldn't go on like this for long. Facing these guys or trying to run? Jean didn't know so he looked at Marco. He could decide if he wanted to, Jean trusted him there.  
 

Wait a second- Jean was counting on him for that ? Marco could read it in his best friend's eyes. Fuck... Well Marco didn't know what to do ! He changed direction again, taking Jean with him. The best would be to encounter other people ? To go in a crowd but where the hell would they found crowd around here ?? Marco breathed deep as he noticed that Jean, with his still injured body was starting to have it hard. And his own hip hurt... He finally stopped. Of course the guys were still behind them. They quickly got encircled. Now Marco feared the rest.

   
Jean followed Marco as this one changed direction. Jean damned himself that he got slower and slower every minute. His injured body wasn't made for walking so fast for so long. At some point they had to stop and got encircled by those guys. "What do you want?" Jean finally asked. They couldn't go on like this anyway.  
 

Marco was at a loss of words again. But Jean was the one who talked first.

   
Jean waited for an answer but they sure took their time. "Why are you following us?" Jean asked the next question. He hoped that Marco would say something too, but he didn't. One man talked to another and this one walked over to both Marco and Jean. He looked up and grinned at Marco. "What do you think we're here for, 'boss'?" he said and walked a step closer to Marco.  
 

It took him a moment but Marco finally recognized those faces. Maybe because he didn't see them in a while he had forgotten. Marco wasn't the type to take a step backwards contrary to the previous Marco. He stepped forward instead and a bit too close to the man that once was under his command, Marco asked "What is it ? You lost your way and went for me to tell you where to go ? You're looking for an advice ? Maybe 'get lost' can work". Marco went for pure provocation. Because these guys knew him like this and if he appeared weak to them then he was already dead. If they wanted to kill him... Which wasn't exactly sure either.  
   
   
Jean just watched the scene now. The guy in front of Marco continued smirking. "I don't think so. We didn't lost our way at all... We lost you. You know as a leader you can't just quit as you wish like the selfish bastard you are" the guy said in a dangerously calm voice. "So you could say we want simple revenge" he added. Then the others came and before Jean and Marco could do anything they were trapped by them. "We'll go to one of the beta bases, you probably know the way, 'boss'?"  
 

Marco was... Frustrated ? To say it politely. Trapped and still injured he couldn't try anything too risky. He would think of way to escape on the way to the base.  
 

Jean looked at Marco. He wasn't saying anything, he wasn't even protesting. But they shouldn't do anything reckless anyway. Jean didn't know for how long they had walked. He just knew they walked in the opposite direction of the big city.  
 

The group started to walk, still encircling Jean and Marco. Everything about Marco was tensed because of this guy's words. He clenched his fists as well as his teeth. Marco wanted to talk to Jean. He wanted to ask him to flee, he wanted to say sorry, that he loved him, that he was sorry to have dragged him in his troubles. Because of him Jean had been injured and now he was taken away from the way leading to where he was supposed to go.  
 

Just as the nightfall set, they reached a base more little than Marco's main one. So he had many bases in the first place? Wow. The base was small and there were just a few people watching them. And nobody here seemed friendly. Jean and Marco got thrown into cells next to each other. "You stay here, we're coming back soon~" the guy said, laughed and walked away.  
 

In Marco's head all along he cursed and apologized. The only small tiny good point was that the cells were separated by bars and Marco could still see Jean. When the men walked away, Marco sat in a corner against Jean's cell. He started to say "sorry" since it was what he had been thinking for hours.  
 

This wasn't good. Jean needed to find a way to flee with Marco. They couldn't stay here, he didn't know what they could do! Jean sighed slightly. In the cell he scooted close to Marco's. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault they found us now okay" Jean said and slid a hand through the cell bar to grab Marco's.

"But the rest is my fault. H-how do you feel ? We've walked for so long. Are you okay ?" he replied. Having Jean's hand in his brought him relief. He squeezed it carefully. 

 

Jean looked up at Marco and nodded. "yeah I'm fine. It could hurt more" he replied and chuckled tired. He leaned back against the cold wall. They could hear footsteps. In the room with the cells a man with a beaten up face came and looked down evilly at Marco. Oh Jean remembered this was the guy Marco nearly killed.  
 

"Well that's... good"Marco replied scratching his neck with his free hand.  
The man entered with menacing eyes that glared at Marco. Marco dared to sigh. This man again, huh ? He surely wanted a revenge too.

   
Jean looked up at the man who was walking towards Marco's cell. He opened it and dragged Marco not so carefully outside. "Hey! Let him down!" Jean said and stood up. He walked towards the cell door watching Marco getting dragged outside. The man nodded at a guard and this one got Jean outside too. But what was coming now?

   
What was this bastard up too now ? He dragged Marco out of his cell a bit too violently for Marco's convenance. The freckled man punched the other to show how he was feeling... and Marco got hit in return. Shit ! They were taking Jean too... Marco felt his nails mark his skin after clenching his fist so much. Couldn't they for the sake of God let Jean out of this ?!  
   
   
Jean started kicking the guard who dragged him upstairs. He did his best to free himself but he could feel his body still being weaker than usual. They got dragged to a large room where most inhabitants of this small base stood. Jean and Marco got chained up and pushed onto the floor. It was just like the time when they beat Jean up to torture Marco... Just this time the guy with bruises all over his face pointed a gun at Marco. Jean frowned in an instant. He had to act quick. But what should he do?? These guys were serious and would probably kill Marco if Jean didn't do anything. "Finally we can kill you. You weren't the best boss ever Marco you know and then just fleeing to be with this... guy here?" he said and laughed. Jean furrowed his eyebrows. Seriously what did these guys have against him!??  
 

Marco understood the situation too well again. He threw a death glare to the guy pointing a gun at him. Though inside Marco felt broken. His heart that Jean had healed was now shattering to pieces in his chest and he prayed any god that Jean could be else where... If he had to die, Marco refused to let it happen this way and in front of Jean. And these words the guy spoke had the worst effect on Marco. "This guy here is worth better than every single one of you reunited together" Marco spoke angrily. But now wasn't the best moment to explain why Jean would always be better than them. Marco had to do something, they couldn't kill him just like that.  
 

The man raised an eyebrow not lowering the gun at all. That was not good. "Well if he is so much better than us we probably should treat him right and let him be a part of our group? But hum what should we do about you then?" he said and looked at Marco intensely. Jean was still thinking about how to get out of this situation.  
 

"I won't let that happen" Marco growled still glaring at the guy. If only he wasn't chained ! Marco would start by ending this guy.  
 

"Well sorry you can't do anything about it when you're dead. Good bye Marco" he said and pulled the trigger. Jean was still in his thinking process as Marco got shot right next to him. He didn't even realized it in the first seconds.

 

Marco's eye widened and his breathing stopped. The bullet hit his chest and Marco fell backwards. The pain was immense. He could hear Jean's voice before he fell unconscious.


	35. I'll die for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~   
> Here it comes, feels.  
> Poor Marco.
> 
> Chapter 25  
> 7th of June, 2018

Jean finally heard the shot and his eyes widened to a maximum when Marco fell backwards, not moving anymore. "No!!" Jean let out but couldn't move. Unlike Marco he wasn't raging and jumping on that guy or even killing him. He sat there totally paralyzed. What just happened? "God finally we're rid of him. Throw him anywhere where he's not bothering us" the man said and finally lowered the gun. They dragged Marco's unmoving body away. Jean was still sitting there not moving either. "We'll recruit you tomorrow" the man said and let the guard throw Jean back into the cell.  
 

Flashes of memories were running before his eyes. He saw his mother, his little sister's birth, his first time meeting Jean, their first birthdays together. The school trip during winter when they were six, all the times when Marco broke something, once his arm, then his ankle and shoulder... Jean was always there. Marco remembered only the good memories. All the rest was deleted. He remembered when Jean confessed and when they kissed for the first time. When they 'made out' for the first time... Not so long ago...  
Aside from the pain, Marco felt himself sort of flying then hit the hard floor.  
 

Jean was in the cell again. It was dark and cold. He still didn't move. Just as it got absolutely silent in the room Jean lifted his shaking hand and pressed it against his face. He realized that Marco just got shot. Suddenly his best friend and lover was cut out of his life. It took that man a second to do so. Jean realized he would never see Marco's beautiful face again nor kiss him nor holding his hand. He was alone again. After all this silence Jean started sobbing painfully and cried. More than ever probably. And this he did the whole night.  
 

The freckled and cold body stayed unmoving this night.  
Marco felt his lungs doing their work again only as the sun rose the next morning. His body was starting to work again but his spirit was still 'dead' at this point. Thinking was impossible. Everything ached and Marco grasped his chest where he felt a hole in.

   
Jean cried the whole night to the point where he was too tired to do anything so he just fell asleep. He probably never cried as much as now. Jean slept until morning, hearing two gun shots now in his nightmare. He woke up feeling empty. Like yesterday he just sat there. Right now he wasn't crying but he didn't react to anyone. His heart was broken and shattered to thousands of tiny pieces. They could kill him right away. At least he would be with Marco again then.  
 

Marco's instinct got him on his feet. He dragged himself far. Maybe Marco walked till midday. As the hours passed, he was regaining consciousness. His first thoughts that were not instinctive were about Jean. The pain... And then when the sun was bright in the sky Marco remembered that he ...had died ? Did he actually die ? He had to sit to think about it. Did he become dumber when he got shot ? No he was just under the shock. Marco looked around. He sort of lost himself but since it was his basement in the first place, he knew the land. He had unconsciously walked far... Marco had to hurry and come back to Jean's side !!!  
 

At some point the guards came to Jean's cell. Jean had to look awful with red-marked eyes and his pale skin of crying too much. He didn't even hear what they were saying, he just let himself get dragged to their new leader. This one was talking to Jean and once again he had to wear those ugly clothes again. Jean still didn't react. Couldn't they just kill him?  
 

Marco would have run if he could. But he had a fucking hole in his rib cage. Most surprisingly the bullet didn't pierce Marco's lungs and he was still able to breath.  
Now Marco wondered how unlucky he could get as a horde of zombies walked towards him. Marco refused to die twice in two days ! He ran towards the base. There he would hide somewhere or- he would find a plan there. Now he had to escape these zombies.  
 

Jean did the work they ordered him to do obediently and in the late afternoon he got thrown back into his cell. There Jean curled up to a ball again and started crying like last night. Would this go on just like this every day? Maybe the next days he should try to steal a gun or a knife so he could kill himself.  
 

Out of breath Marco reached the base. He threw himself in the first opened room he found. It happened to be a storage room. Zombies were knocking on the door for a moment but stopped after a few gunshots (the sound surprisingly made Marco's whole body shake violently). Here in the storage room, he found a blanket. He would just spend the night here since it seemed to be an abandoned part of the base, there were spiderwebs almost everywhere.  
 

Again Jean stopped crying when he was too tired and fell asleep again. He refused to eat and drink since the first night anyway. Again nightmares were haunting him. Jean pretty much wasn't Jean anymore. It was just his body that was alive, not Jean himself. He lost Marco once and could live one but never got over it but losing Marco a second time especially now when they were together was too much, Jean just couldn't handle that.  
 

In the early morning, Marco woke up agonizing with pain. His chest had to be treated. He felt like crying when all his last wounds had been treated by Jean and now his precious love was alone certainly convinced that Marco was dead. Marco didn't even know how he survived this shot but it sure hurt like real hell physically. He looked around in the storage room but couldn't find anything. He had to move outside and get what he was looking for. Marco hoped, at the same time as he looked for a plan to not be recognized by the men, that Jean would have the bright idea to flee. Jean had to be safe.  
   
   
Jean woke up. He didn't want to get up... Why couldn't he just lay here and starve to death or something like this? Without water he wouldn't last three days longer. Jean wasn't thinking of fleeing anymore he didn't even get the slightest idea of going on in the first place. His day went on the same as yesterday even though he was even weaker today.  
 

Marco managed to sneak into the base, ridiculously covered by the blanket at first. He spotted a weak guy walking towards him and Marco knocked him down in a corner (just unconscious) and put the guy's clothes on. He put on a cap too that had been hanging at the guy's belt and walked prudently in the base looking for the nursery. He found it quickly and made sure that nobody was in before he entered. He locked the door and took the time he needed to treated this wound... Shit he couldn't do the stitches well nor could he treat the back part of the wound. Marco sighed. He clearly had a hole in the chest now. As Marco finished or tried to finish, he heard footsteps outside. "He fainted" was the only words he heard but it was enough to make him understand that he had to flee this location too. He unlocked the door and exited as a normal guard or anything.  
 

Jean was doing usual stuff. They didn't let him go outside and fight zombies like in Marco's original base. Jean cleaned rooms and everything. He noticed a guy laying on the floor. Whatever. Jean continued cleaning the floor but at some point he was too weak to even hold a broom. He lacked sleep, food and water after all. The leader dragged him to his room, punched him a few times and then Jean went on with the work. Like the last day.  
 

Now Marco had to find Jean. It was his last thing to do, when it should have been the first in fact. But around the cells it was more complicate to hide and there were more people walking around. Marco waited nighttime to go. Ugh he was starving... And his blood loss right after the shot had weakened him a lot. He still wondered how he was still alive.   
 

The day went by and Jean found himself in his cell again. He started to like his cell it was the only place where he could mourn in peace. He wouldn't last much longer though.   It was night again.  
 

When everyone went to sleep Marco just had to get rid of the guardian. He was in a hurry and quickly executed his plan.. He opened the door slowly, knocked the guy down with a kick and first ran to Jean's cell. But he stopped and walked quietly when he heard sobs. It was like the worst sound he ever listened to. It broke him in an instant. Marco walked closer and kneeled in front of the cell. He then quickly stood up and went to steal the keys from the guard. He ran back to the cell where his Jean was curled up on the floor. Marco turned the key in the lock and the door cringed.  
 

Jean didn't even notice the guard getting knocked down or Marco standing in front of his cell, he hid his face behind his hands after all. As he heard the cell door cringing Jean winced. "No please I don't want to go again" he whimpered. He wasn't finished crying yet and he was exhausted he couldn't go back to work. "But please no punches today" he added.  
 

This sight horrified Marco and he had to stop and concentrate on his breathing. These assholes beat his lovely Jean ? Marco wouldn't let them at that ! But for now Jean was crying and in a state that Marco never had to see before. He kneeled next to Jean and prudently oh so prudently took him in his arms. "I'm here Jean" Marco whispered in his ear. Having him in his arms Marco was shocked a second time. Jean got so skinny in not even a week. And his body didn't emit any warm. Marco tightened his embrace around him.  
 

Jean flinched when someone took him in their arms. He heard Marco's voice in the distance. Huh? Did he just die? Well he thought dying would be a little more... Dramatic. "I'm glad I can join you now in heaven" Jean said in a cracking voice. He started crying again. So Marco welcomed him beyond the living world. That was great. But if he was dead why did he still felt like total shit?  
   
   
"You idiot" Marco whispered as he caressed Jean's face lovingly. Marco knew that he was frowning terribly. Looking at his Jean being in such a condition. Marco put his forehead against Jean and breathed with him. "Listen... You're breathing and I do too. We're not dead yet" he murmured to him, exaggerating the movement of his chest. Though this one was hurting like a bitch after being pierced by a bullet.  
 

Jean furrowed his eyebrows. Why was the heaven-Marco lying? "What are you saying of course we are otherwise I wouldn't be able to see your face now. You're the idiot" Jean replied in return.  
 

"Will this feel the same as usual if I kissed you in heaven ?" Marco asked and leaned in to weigh on his question. Eagerly he let his lips meet with Jean's. Oww Marco absolutely needed this, more than food and water.  
 

Jean let himself get kissed. First he wasn't reacting but then he felt something again. He felt the warmth coming from Marco and this was fucking real. His eyes widened and he continued crying. He brought a trembling hand up to his mouth and covered it after they parted. He was alive and... Marco was too? "H-How" Jean asked still extremely confused. Why- how??  
 

Marco kissed Jean soft, gentle, with unconditional love before he felt more tears rolling down on Jean's face. Marco wiped them off and let out a small relieved chuckled at Jean's question. "Kind of a miracle. I don't have a clue myself" he replied still rubbing Jean's cheeks with his thumbs.  
 

"I-I saw you die right next to me, you got shot in the chest! That doesn't make sense" he murmured to himself. He looked at Marco for a second and hugged him tight. Well as tight as his body could do for now. "I missed you so much" he whimpered and didn't let go of Marco one second. He was sobbing while talking. "Y-You're alive" he repeated whispering.  
 

Marco's chest was vibrating for many reasons. Relief, love, lot of love, pain and sadness as well. "I missed you too" Marco said hugging Jean back just as tight. He didn't care about his body telling him to quit using this much strength into this, Marco had to show Jean that he was here again. He backed up when Jean's embrace became too weak and Marco lifted up his own shirt up to his shoulders to show the wound quickly to Jean. "This one hurts very bad" Marco explained.

   
Jean couldn't stop crying now. His Marco was alive, he didn't lose him. Marco was still here and they would continue sharing moments together. Jean looked at Marco as this one lifted up his shirt. Woah there really was a hole. Jean ran his fingertips near the wound over Marco's skin. "How didn't you die from this?" Jean asked more himself than Marco. Marco had fucking luck probably. Jean wanted to tell Marco so much more but he could feel his body giving up, so he just fell against Marco.  
 

Marco opened his mouth to reply something but Jean just fainted in his arms. Marco kissed Jean's head and started to prepare their evasion. Now it was the most urgent thing to do. And to grab weapons and water too. These two things, Marco found them on the guardian. Marco also stole his jacket, it could be useful. Choosing evasion over the luxe of more weapons, Marco carried Jean to an exit.

   
Jean needed rest, food and water now and soon he would feel better probably. But right now it just mattered that Marco was alive. Jean was unconscious so he didn't notice anything around him, not even when Marco carried him somewhere. It was no wonder that Jean's body was so weak now.  
   
   
How Marco managed to walk for this long carrying someone, hiding and even ran sometimes ? It was another miracle. He had stopped listening to his body a while ago anyways. He fled the base and it already took him a whole hour to do so. Outside it was dark and hard to see where he was going. Marco went in the direction of their lost bags. When the sun rose he found a shelter for the two of them between some trees. Marco couldn't reach the bags walking alone. He had to wait for Jean to wake up. Marco laid him down and laid down next to him.  
 

Jean wasn't waking up so soon. But when he did he felt cold embracing him. He was not in his cell anymore, where was he? Still absolutely weak he looked around and found Marco laying next to him. He reached out a hand and touched Marco's cheek. "Y-You're alive" he said. If he didn't need water that much he would have cried again. So he didn't imagine Marco coming back, it was real...

   
Marco opened his eye after dozing off a bit. He smiled at Jean and slid a hand around him. Marco hugged his lover tight, caressed his hair and kissed his head. It was sweet and painful at the same time. Marco knew that Jean wouldn't get over this easily. They needed time and had to hurried to the big city now. They had to end this. And now that his men thought that Marco was dead they shouldn't have this problem anymore.  
 

Jean sobbed in silence when Marco pulled him into a tight hug and rested his head against Marco's chest. Marco really was alive, Jean could hear his heartbeat. They backed up again. God Jean could faint any second again... "C-Can I have something to eat and drink? I didn't have anything since you were gone" he said. And after that they should rest and then search for their bags so Jean could treat Marco's wound. Jean couldn't believe everything was back to normal... Well it wasn't somehow. They pretty much broke Jean. That wasn't an easy task but they had managed to break him. First killing the love of his life then treating him so bad.  
 

Jean crying on Marco's chest accentuated the painful feeling Marco had. "It's over now. They will not get after us again" Marco whispered trying to soothe Jean. It was okay now, they were 'free'. Marco backed up too and replied "I just have water...". He took it and held it out to Jean. Marco hadn't eaten either since along while and was quite agonizing over it.  
 

"You're alive" Jean murmured to himself once again. Marco held out something to drink for Jean. Finally he could wet his dry throat and lips. "You drink the other half okay?" he said and looked at Marco. Jean didn't know if Marco ate or drank anything the time he was alone. Jean drank much, more than the half. But it already helped. Now he wouldn't die of dehydration. Marco was here again Jean couldn't die now.  
 

"Yeah" Marco whispered to Jean with a smile and caressed Jean's hair again. It must have been terrible for him... But Marco was alive, it truly was a miracle. He couldn't even tell why or how. "Thank you" Marco said taking the water and drank it almost all the rest. He let water at the bottom if, well, if they needed it.  
 

Marco was touching him, Jean could hug him. For days Jean thought he would never be able to do that again. It was so amazing. Jean didn't want to leave Marco's side one second now so he stayed close to Marco, very clingy. "You know, without you I gave up living. I just wanted to die already" Jean told. why should he hide his suicidal thoughts he had when he had thought Marco was dead.  
 

In return Marco kept Jean close to his chest. And what could Marco say after this confession. "I'm sorry I let you alone for so long" he said putting weigh on each word.  
 

"Don't apologize" Jean said and backed up again. He brought his still trembling hands up to cup Marco's cheeks. It was real, Marco wasn't dead. Jean still was kinda under shock. All those days alone he was mourning of Marco, crying, inside dying. And now he was here... Jean kissed Marco. His Marco was here right now Jean still couldn't believe it after witnessing Marco getting killed. A sight he would probably never forget.

 

"Jean..." Marco whispered softly. Marco was just happy to be able to say his name again. And Jean had to realize that this was real, even though Marco couldn't believe it that he had survived this either ! But he was so glad to have survived for Jean. Jean kissed him and Marco continued to caress Jean's slightly wet cheek. "We- we'll find this house somewhere to live long and old together, ok ? I love you Jean. I'm so in love with you. My only love" Marco said and placed softly his forehead and Jean's together.  
 

Jean broke the kiss and looked at Marco. Marco saying his name like this... Saying his name in general meant so much to Jean. Jean nodded and nodded again when Marco said they would live somewhere long and old. God Jean could start crying again. "I love you too I- I can't live without you I realized that pretty soon" he said and hugged Marco again.  
 

Jean's eyes, still red because of exhaustion were looking at him and Marco rarely felt this broken and alive at the same time. Marco winced because his wound was growing worst day by day and each small squeeze was starting to get more painful. But how little he cared about that because it was Jean who hugged him, Jean who was saying these special words. Marco hugged him backed as tight and peppered kisses all over Jean's face and neck. He didn't want to see sadness anymore in Jean's eyes. Marco knew that it would be hard to live with that, he got killed once and miraculously survived. Jean had had to live some days mourning his one and only love. It would be hard but they were together again.  
 

Jean sure didn't look and act like he would normally do. But well, he went through hell... he had other things to worry about now than his pride which got lost anyway back in this base. Jean closed his eyes and let himself get kissed all over his face. For days he thought he would never feel those lips again. Marco really was with him again. It felt great having Marco near him but Jean noticed that it was painful for Marco. "L-Let's go and search for our bags so I can treat your wound" he said.  
 

 

Marco appreciated the thought but he said "Jean you have to rest. Please, sleep for now and we will go later. I can wait a few hours more". Jean absolutely had to manage to relax and rest now. He looked so exhausted. And actually Marco couldn't walk longer without some rest too.

   
"But- okay" Jean said and laid back down, curling up to himself like the days in the cell. He felt better like that. Jean didn't want to sleep, he wanted to take care of his Marco right away, but he fell asleep instantly.

   
Jean didn't fight sleep for long. Marco would have chuckled to this in normal circumstances. But he didn't and laid down taking Jean's sleeping body in his arms. The sun was rising outside and Marco hoped for no drama anymore, just a long and calm life by Jean's side. He knew it would never be as calm as he wished it to be but well Marco could dream. And he fell asleep too.  
 

Jean couldn't sleep long and deep but he managed to get enough sleep so he would be able to search for their bags. When they found them they would search for a shelter then Jean would treat Marco's wound and he could finally get something to eat and he wouldn't look terrible anymore. Jean slept until midday and woke up in Marco's arms. God he was so relieved but still under shock.  
 

Marco had to sleep long. He was snuggling against Jean in his sleep. This warmth... He had missed it way too much.  
 

Jean smiled slightly. Marco was still sleeping and looked so pure while sleeping... He really was precious. Jean pulled Marco closer and absorbed Marco's scent, caressed his freckled skin. Jean felt like crying again but this time because of happiness.  
 

Marco woke when pulled into a hug. He coughed a little bit and then hugged back this body he loved so much. Well the body of this person that he loved so much. Marco opened his eye. Jean's expression was different from the last one Marco had a glimpse of. Marco snuggled up to Jean's lips and kissed them lovingly. Oh how good it was. Marco melted into it and surprisingly dozed off again. Just a little hour more...

   
Jean smiled into the kiss. He wanted to tell Marco so much things now but surprisingly the freckled guy dozed off again. Jean caressed his hair a bit and let him sleep. Jean had to repeat it many times in his head. He was out of that hell, Marco was back with him.  
 

Marco's eyelid fluttered open and then he woke up fully. He felt better but God he was starving.  
 

Ah, Marco woke up again. Good. Jean still felt like shit and was exhausted but especially because he felt like this they had to find their bags, then find a shelter then eat something and they had to treat Marco's wound.  
 

"You okay ?" Marco asked with a mild smile on his face as he looked up to Jean.  
Marco knew they had a bit of walk to do now. They had to find their bags.

   
"Y-Yeah I'm fine" Jean replied and tried to smile. "We should go. I can't let you walk around with a untreated wound like this" he said and sat up. God his body felt so awful. He really needed to eat. But that didn't matter now. Marco was more important now.  
 

"Ok" Marco said as he sat up too, with difficulties but well... The two men hit the road again. They were slow so they had to be careful twice as much as usual.  
 

They were leaving their 'shelter' to finally find their things. They were lucky the group was so dumb to not take them with them. All the way to their stuff Jean stayed close like really close to Marco's side. He sure would jump in front of him if someone was shooting him again.  
 

Marco noticed how close Jean was. He smirked slightly and casually took Jean by the waist. (When their hip bones bumped together Marco remembered his injury there) If Jean had to be so close then it was better this way.  
 

When Marco grabbed Jean by the waist he immediately put an arm around Marco to be even closer. Right now he needed Marco as close as possible to him because for Jean in this state it was easy to think again that he just imagined Marco being alive.  
 

Marco kissed the top of Jean's head and they continued to walk hip by hip like this. Now more than ever they needed each other. As they walked in silent Marco thought again about what Jean confessed... Something like wanting to die if he was left on earth without Marco. It was a radical way of thinking but Marco felt the same. Somehow he grew anxious and relieved at the same time. What if he hadn't made it in time ? But he made it so did he really had to torture himself with this thought ?  
 

Jean looked at Marco. He seemed thinking about something hardly... "Is everything okay?" Jean asked still with a weak voice. He didn't want Marco to worry about anything. Marco could be so glad he survived the shot. And Jean was as well.  
 

Marco leaned a bit against Jean, just a second to not add weight on him and replied "You actually waited for me. I don't know... Thank you ? I really don't know I'm just so glad to have you here alive with me".

   
Jean furrowed his eyebrows. "Yeah I'm alive I know. I was the one who thought you weren't" he said then looked down. "I don't really know if I waited for you. I was convinced you were dead. Well I couldn't get any weapon so I guess I waited to die because of the lack of food and water. I know it sounds not romantic but I wasn't waiting for you I guess... I mourned every night though" he explained honestly.  
 

Marco wondered if Jean could hear at this moment Marco's heart breaking into pieces again. He didn't have anything to reply, he just realized even more how hard it must have been for Jean. And Marco still knew he would never fully get how Jean had felt.  
He stopped and took Jean in his arms again, tight, and stayed a minute like this. They shouldn't stop like this but Marco couldn't let his Jean in this state.  
 

Jean was confused when Marco suddenly stopped and pulled Jean in a hug. "Did I say something wrong?" Jean asked his confusion clearly reflecting in his voice. He hugged Marco back as tight as he could though. But even if he tried it was not the strong hug Jean could normally give. God they really should go and find their bags and food.  
 

"Nothing" Marco replied weak and sniffling. Oh God, Jean must have suffer so much in what, four days ? And just days before he- he had been through such torture. It seemed like an eternity thinking of it in theses circumstances. Being beaten up and treated like garbage. Marco knew, and regretted it fully, how it worked in the base. He knew how harsh and disrespectful these men were. "I'm sorry" Marco murmured feeling up as much as he could in this short hug. They had to continue to walk. Marco took Jean's hand firmly in his and went forwards. His eye was burning, threatening him to shed tears. So now was his breaking point ? Marco had to stay strong a bit longer ! This hell was over now, things were okay, they would live long and side by side. But to achieve this they had to find food. Soon the path seemed familiar to where the bags should be.  
 

"Wha- Please don't start crying now!" Jean said worried as Marco started sniffling now. Did he say anything that made Marco sad? But what should that be? Marco apologized and took Jean's hand firmly. Jean leaned against Marco and they finally continued walking. What was Marco sorry for? There wasn't one reason why the freckled guy should feel sorry. They found a familiar path and walked a bit faster. In the distance Jean could already see their bags.  
 

Jean leaning against him helped Marco relaxed even if just a little bit. Soon they spotted their bags ! "Finally" Marco whispered and went for the bag charged with food. He grabbed the other that had water. Finally.  
 

Jean was so relieved when they finally found their stuff. "Let's find a shelter. We can bring the bags with us" Jean said. He tried to carry the big one with the weapons in it, but that wasn't possible. So he grabbed the one with the medicine in it. But Marco couldn't carry all the rest.  
 

Marco seeing Jean's small struggle here told him "We'll grab the remaining ones later". Now, a shelter.  
 

"But we need every bag! I-I can carry one more" Jean stated and grabbed his backpack. "See? It's fine" he said. Whew he really grew weak in a few days. But they couldn't leave one bag behind. Once they found a shelter they'd probably stayed in it a while and then it'd be good if they had everything with them.  
 

"Jean-" Marco protested because he was so worried ! What if Jean fainted again ? Though Jean was right, they needed the bags. Marco sighed painfully as he put two bags over his back and shoulders. Maybe... One more... He placed one more and steadied himself. Shit they really had to find a shelter quickly. Marco didn't wait and started to search.  
   
   
Jean wouldn't faint. If he did then he would when they'd have found a shelter! Jean knew he couldn't carry more than this but he felt so bad right now seeing Marco carrying three bags on his shoulders. Under normal circumstances for both of them it was an easy task but not now. They searched for a shelter and Jean actually found a cave quickly. It was surprisingly well hidden but not so big. But that was okay. "Come on" he said. He could walk five more steps, right?  
 

Marco tripped over his feet and Jean's voice was a small miracle here. A shelter ! Marco felt it, his chest was bleeding. Of course after walking all night, carrying Jean then walking again and now bags. Marco slid to the floor inside the cave. Water. He needed water first.  
 

Like Marco Jean could faint any second now. Jean managed to stand on his feet though just enough to put their stuff down. He quickly grabbed both food and water and handed both to Marco before he helped Marco to sit up straight. Jean let himself fall on his butt. He was so exhausted... He needed food immediately so he grabbed himself something and started eating. He sighed in relief.  
 

He drank a lot first. And Marco drooled at the sight of food. Food. FOOD. He ate slowly at first, then faster and faster. He ate a lot but rationally. They had to keep some for later. After just some minutes he felt more alive already.  
 

Once Jean had eaten and drunk enough, he laid down onto the floor and closed his eyes. A day more without food and water and he really would have died. Now he already felt better. He didn't look better though but his body needed its time now to recover from the shock and the last few days.  
 

Marco did the same, laying down. They should be safe for now, at least Marco believed they would. His chest was hurting real bad but he couldn't fight his sleepiness.  
 

So they just laid here. Jean stayed like this five minutes more before he sat up and grabbed the bag with the medicine. The most important thing now was to treat Marco's wound. "Let's get over with it" he said and helped Marco getting his shirt off. No matter how tired Jean was Marco was first.  
 

"O-Ok" Marco murmured frowning. He never feared the stitches and all but now... He knew that it would hurt. And he didn't miss it. Once rid of his shirt Marco tried his best to relax in Jean's hand. But at the first pressure on the wound Marco groaned very loud, and not in the way Jean could usually get him to groan. It was so sensitive it made it hard for Marco to bring air in his lungs.  
 

Jean examined the wound first. It really was a hole... Jean couldn't believe that Marco survived it. "The bullet went through or is it still in there or did you manage to get it out?" Jean asked before he prepared something to disinfect the open wound. Marco sure was immortal surviving this...  
 

"I- d- know" Marco voiced with a lot of breathing difficulties. Fuck that hurt so much. Maybe the bullet was out really Marco didn't know.  
 

Jean examined Marco's back and shook his head. There wasn't one wound on his back. "I have to get it out first" he said and looked at Marco. It was good that Jean for once could think clearly. That probably stopped after he had helped Marco. Jean prepared everything and found something to get the bullet out of Marco's body. But he was no doctor so it wouldn't go painless probably...  
 

"Shit-" Marco cursed and ran a hand over his bare shoulder. He tried again to control his breathing. And waited for Jean to start.  
 

"Breathe" Jean said and tried to calm Marco down. Slowly Jean started. Luckily the bullet was easy to find. But difficult to get because they didn't have the best stuff for doing something like this. But after both suffered enough Jean finally managed to get it out. Then he quickly stitched the wound up and put cream over it. They did it. But Marco's scream has been so painful to Jean... And this one was 'finally' fainting again.  
 

Marco went through different stages in a very short time. First he screamed at the contact of the tool with his open flesh. He panted hard and started to sweat buckets. Jean managed to find the bullet when Marco was ripping skin from his palms after clenching his fists so much. His cheek felt wet and Jean moved to the stitches. In a while it'd be over Marco could have thought but right now his mind was totally blank. Jean finished, Marco managed to voice a silent "ank y" (thank you) and everything turned black for a while.  
 

And like this both of them just laid there, both unconscious. But they were alive. They had eaten something, they had enough water in them and Marco's wound could heal now. All in one the situation could be worse. They laid unconsciously like this for a while.  
 

Marco started to tremble in his sleep and it was what woke him. He could have died pretty easily if the wound has been infected. But Jean treated it well therefore Marco should be ok from this point. He sat up and went to look in the bag of medicine to see if there weren't any antibiotics. Woah there was... Marco took the pill immediately. He had to make sure that it didn't get infected, the wound had stayed open for a while after all...  
Jean was still asleep next to him. Marco made a sad face seeing his lover so... dried out. His bone cheeks were clearly showing and his neck looked so thin too. It wasn't exposed but Marco knew Jean's shoulder would be thinner and his waist too. Maybe he should already prepare something to eat for Jean, something with plenty of vitamins and all. But Marco didn't know much about cooking. He looked in the bag and obviously couldn't find fruits. Marco was dumb to think he would find something like this. There was enough prepared food for them to eat when they would wake up so Marco decided to lay down again. Once set, he slid slowly a arm under Jean's shirt. To the touch it felt exactly as Marco thought it would be. His Jean... Marco kissed Jean's forehead and dozed off again. Sleep was good. Food was good too. But sleep now...  
   
 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading !  
> Your opinion is welcomed, 'hope you liked it.


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